Kyou Kara Maou – Yuuri's Hot Date
Summary: Wolfram challenges Yuuri to have a date with a girl. Loosely part of my Epilogue story arc.
Disclaimer: I have no rights to Kyou Kara Maou of course.
Chapter 10 – The Hot Date
Trying to pay attention to his Lords' deliberations, knowing that Wolfram was out on a picnic with Kieran, made for an agonizing morning for Yuuri. The debate was spirited, and for his political insight alone, he would have desperately missed Wolfram. He tried to focus on that angle, but he couldn't.
I could actually lose him. To her. Yes, Wolfram's great loves have been men. But he expected to marry a woman, just like I did, before he met me. And she is… gorgeous. Their children would be as beautiful as they are, they're so perfectly matched.
Or am I worried about losing her to him?
No. I don't know her. She is exciting, yes, a new world of unknown possibility. She is attractive, yes – a girl who looks… just like Wolfram.
It's true – I find Wolfram overwhelmingly attractive. We've been lovers so long now… of course I'm attracted to him. Yuuri shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wasn't used to going this long without his beautiful Wolfram in his arms, and was all too painfully aware of how he missed him on a purely physical level. Do I only find Kieran attractive because she looks like Wolfram?
Well, and acts just like Wolfram. He grinned wryly at that thought. Her bright, spoiled, overly-entitled self-assurance at the ball reminded him a great deal of… He frowned. She reminds me of Wolfram when I first met him…
"Sire," Sylvain von Tarkenburg interrupted his thoughts. "My Lord Bielenfeld's compliments, and would you care to join the autonomists for lunch?"
That was Aldrich's coalition. Yuuri's norm would be to dine with his Chancellor Gwendal and the federalists – those who sought national solutions to challenges. Aldrich's camp preferred the Maou starved for cash and out of the domains' hair. They didn't normally invite him to join much of anything.
"Ah, certainly, thank you, Squire Sylvain," agreed Yuuri.
He was too distracted to notice that the autonomists were just as surprised as he was when he joined them. But then, the Maou was eccentric. No doubt he'd struck up a friendship with Aldrich's squire and ate where he pleased.
"So, I hear you meet privately with Lady Kieran tonight, Sire," said Sylvain, tossing a conversation opener into the sudden quiet.
"Ah, yes," said Yuuri. Hm. Sylvain is the front-runner for Kieran's hand, I hear.
"So, what happens in that case?" von Krist asked, apparently of Brendan and Aldrich and Franklin, his autonomist partners. "If Kieran marries the Maou, surely she forfeits Donaghie. Yuuri can't rule Donaghie."
Aldrich shrugged. "The Tark made the best offer. We could just give it to them outright. Though… the argument for Sylvain assumed a young girl to marry. Young and energetic is still best, but Sylvain's father is only about my age. What do you think, Sylvain? Would the Tark still back you? Or only as heir to your father?"
"Hm," answered Sylvain. The Tark didn't share its internal politics. "Of course, Wolfram would be available if Yuuri dumped him. Would the Biel back him? Or maybe Manfred?"
"Hm," Aldrich replied in kind.
"All just theories," opined Lord Krist. "If the silly chit would abandon her duty for a love affair, Donaghie's well shut of her. And really, I expect a whole new round of proposals. As Aldrich pointed out, young and unmarried aren't qualifications anymore. That's a whole new ballgame. Aldrich probably wouldn't be the arbiter, either."
"It's a shame we'd be stuck with an idiot as queen," commented Brendan.
"Better here than at Donagal," countered Franklin. "Donaghie's has all the mismanagement it can bear." The economic crisis in Donaghie was a core topic at this week's summit.
Yuuri was squirming with increasing discomfort throughout all this. "Ah, hang on! I'm just… visiting with Kieran for fun. It's nothing serious!"
They stared at him. He stared back. He dropped his gaze first. "Some of the Aristocrats marry for love," he hazarded.
"If they're not heirs," allowed Aldrich. "Brendan married for love before Adelbert forfeited Gratz – though of course Hilde was perfectly appropriate, in any case. The rest of us… had options."
"Love is a verb," commented Franklin. "One does one's duty, and behaves well or badly within it. But Aldrich, you're the 'professor of love'." Aldrich rolled his eyes. "Marriage for love or duty – which is best in the long run?"
Aldrich shrugged. "What's 'best'? My parents haven't seen each other in two centuries, and they're perfectly content with their marriage. Extreme example, of course. Marriage for duty is usually calmer. Marriage for love tends to be rocky, lots of drama and tears, more likely to founder, because the people change. The starting attraction has to mature along the way. But – they can be the happiest of all. When it works."
"The rough spots can be hell, though," said Brendan, still very much in love with Hilde after thirty-odd years of marriage.
Toby von Guire offered, "My father says, even if you marry for love, align to duty. That way you're still pulling together when the romance cools."
"Well said," agreed the others around the table.
Yuuri found himself nodding right along with them. Hey, when did I become a convert? Though… it does make sense. And I know love can grow within duty. My love with Wolfram… he started from duty. I started from nothing, but grew to love him along the way, through duty. Kieran…
It stood out plain as day from this angle. For him to abandon Wolfram and take up Kieran would be to betray his duty to Wolfram and his children, and incite her to betray her duty as heir of a domain. He would be honoring her with his love no more than he would have honored Deanna the seamstress. This wasn't foreign Shin Makoku values. This was shameful by his own Japanese standards.
This is wrong. Dating Kieran, to 'find out' whether I'd prefer girls, is just plain wrong. Even if I did prefer girls, what would it matter? I will never marry a perfect person. If I couldn't love a man, that would be different. But I do love Wolfram. And it's not in spite of the fact he isn't perfect, either. His imperfections, his vulnerabilities, are often what draw us closest. I protect his weak spots, and he protects mine.
But he's with Kieran right now.
"So, Sire, we heard about your trip last week to the Diabolical Newt," said Sylvain, switching topic. "What was your favorite costume?"
-oOo-
Sylvain and Greta gave up on the missing Kieran and Efram, and went shopping without them. Sylvain wasn't worried – the fact that Manfred and Bertram were also absent tended to confirm his unvoiced suspicions. He was confident that Wolfram wouldn't tempt Kieran away from him.
They rented costumes through Dame Esmelda easily enough. But Greta insisted that Kieran needed a present for Aldrich. Sylvain suggested that it wasn't from Kieran if they bought it, but allowed Greta to drag him shopping anyway. He enjoyed the way girls got excited about shopping. Shopping with guys was just an errand – locate item, exchange cash, head out for a beer. Girls seemed to approach it with a spirit of wide-eyed adventure. They were taking an ice cream break when Kieran and Efram finally caught up with them.
After another hour of the normally castle-bound girls squealing and caroming through shops, Efram finished a second ice cream and licked his fingers. The girls were admiring cufflinks, an item the one-handed Aldrich never used. "You don't really suppose Aldrich would wear any jewelry they picked out, do you?"
Sylvain grinned. "Aldrich's valet has flawless taste. He'd probably hide it."
"We should head back." The sun was getting low, and Efram was satisfied that his brother-in-law-to-be was a good sort. Not that it was really any of his business.
Sylvain nodded, and called, "Hey, girls ! I know what Aldrich would like. Bath toys. There was a shop a ways back. I bet he'd love a fizzy bath duck."
Efram hid his face laughing. This was a typical cheap Winterfair gift – a molded cake of baking soda and fragrant salts, that fizzed as it dissolved into the bath.
"A bath duck? For a man?" asked Greta.
"Oh, yes. Aldrich likes bath ducks." The boys watched in vast amusement as the girls picked out the cutest fizzy ducks.
-oOo-
"Ah, Sire," said Aldrich quickly, as the Aristocrats' Summit broke up for the evening. "Kieran asks that you meet at 8:00 in front of the castle. Sorry about the time change." He didn't wait for an answer, moving on to talk to Gwendal. From the bashful looks being exchanged between Toby von Guire and one of the Walde noble girls, Yuuri could easily guess the subject. Best not to interrupt – Aldrich and Gwendal didn't get along all that readily.
Yuuri sadly caught a light supper with the federalists, and dropped by to play with the toddlers for a few minutes, before Günter hurried him along to change for his date. He wanted desperately to talk to Wolfram, but he hadn't seen him or the big kids since morning.
I should just call off this date. I want Wolfram!
No, he sighed. She's probably already dressed. She's looking forward to this. I have no grounds for ruining the night for her, any more than I did for backing out with Deanna. And we had fun, in the end.
But next time I go to the Newt, it'll be with Wolfram!
Günter and Morgif proved immune to his lack of enthusiasm. They were humming happily away already. Yuuri let their spirits carry him along a bit, though tonight he drew the line at lipstick. Günter helped himself to the makeup Wolfram had left in Yuuri's room, though that didn't happen to include blood red.
-oOo-
"Sire!" said Kieran, bowing deeply. "Oh, I'm so looking forward to this! Thank you for taking me!" He couldn't see her outfit – both they and Günter were swaddled in mantles to avoid walking around town looking like fools.
Yuuri blushed. "The pleasure is mine, Lady Kieran."
"Whoo-HOOO-oooh!" commented Morgif.
"What was that?" asked Kieran in alarm.
"Aha! Ah, my sword, ignore him. Can it, Morgif. So, shall we?" Kieran latched onto his elbow, which embarrassed him and made it hard to walk, between the strange pace, Morgif bouncing, and the codpiece shifting. He supposed he shouldn't ask, but… it was driving him crazy. "So, aha! You had a picnic lunch with Wolfram today, didn't you? How did that go?"
"Nice," she said, noncommittally.
He sighed. "When did you get back?"
"Around 3:00."
After a few more stillborn conversational gambits, Yuuri gave up and walked companionably, trying to shift the codpiece without touching himself inappropriately with a girl on his arm. Morgif and Günter hummed happily.
They arrived at the Diabolical Newt a little early for a nightclub – not many patrons were there yet. Kieran drew off her mantle to reveal – Deanna's mermaid costume.
"Ah, that's…" Yuuri didn't bother to complete the statement.
"Isn't it nice?" Kieran said. "Sylvain picked it out for me this afternoon! He's so nice!"
"That's very… nice." Yuuri drew off his own mantle, revealing his over-endowed Demon King costume. Which was… rather inappropriate for a date with a girl this young, he suddenly suspected. He tied the mask on over his blushing face. Damn. This kind of thing is really funny with Wolfram. Oh, that day I brought back 'Conrad's wedding gifts' from the sex toy store in Akihabara! These days, he and Wolfram could go into MegaBunny themselves and have a grand time. "Ah, it's a… demon king," he said, unnecessarily.
"Oh," she said, eyes a bit wide.
"Whoa-OH-hah!" commented Morgif.
They were escorted to… exactly the same gallery he'd shared with Deanna. Come to think of it, Yuuri realized, I told Sylvain at lunch what Deanna wore…
"Now what do we do?" asked Kieran ingenuously.
"Aha! Ah… eat?" Yuuri suggested. They ordered. He attempted in vain to get a conversation started about her interests. Kieran answered monosyllabically and peered over the gallery railing looking at other people's costumes. She had orchid perfume on. I hate orchid perfume. Did I…? No, I didn't tell Sylvain I hate orchid perfume.
"Yuck!" squealed Kieran when the deviled eyeballs and blood-dripping turkey haunches appeared. "Ewww! Take it away! Oh, Yuuri, you're the Maou. Make them get us some good food."
Yuuri couldn't imagine the superb swordsman and experienced cavalry officer Wolfram getting queasy about real blood and gore, much less theme food. He said to the waiter, "Aha… Um. I'll eat the food we already ordered. Could you perhaps bring some, er, undecorated deviled eggs? Would that work for you, Kieran?"
She pouted. "I'd have to look at yours? Oh, well. I just won't look, then."
This is going to be a very long night, Yuuri concluded. He smiled wanly at the waiter, who returned the thin smile in, he suspected, more pity than anger.
To hell with the small talk. Maybe talking about something that matters will get her to open up.
"Do you like children, Kieran?"
She shrugged. "Well, wet-nurses and nannies handle most of it."
Yuuri couldn't help glancing at her perfect young breasts, remembering how he and Wolfram used to strip to cuddle newborn Bertram to their bare skin and warm heart-beats, while they fed him his bottle. Next topic, please…
"So, I hear Sylvain's the front-runner for the next Lord Donaghie." She waggled a petulant hand so-so. "The Tark's very powerful. Are you happy with his plans for rebuilding Donaghie's economy?"
"Huh?"
Huh, indeed. Though, in fairness, when he was 15, he'd have been hard pressed to listen through today's Aristocrat's meeting. These days… he'd hung on every word when Wolfram briefed him on the challenges, and asked many questions. She's just… young. "How many other men are you considering for your marriage?"
"Well, seriously? Only you," she mooned at him, batting eyelashes over green eyes, which suddenly didn't look familiar at all. Not even demonic. More like… vapid.
"I, ah, am not looking to take a demotion to Lord Donaghie," suggested Yuuri, as neutrally as possible.
"But I want a promotion to queen!" replied Kieran, in dark glee. She added, "Silly!"
A very, very long night.
-oOo-
"So, how was the picnic with Kieran?" Aldrich asked Manfred. They were sharing a bath in Aldrich's quarters, Kieran's gift box of sweetly pastel fizzy bath ducks standing at the ready. He selected one and squinted past it at Manfred, considering its deployment. The duck dove to its fizzy death held just below Manfred's navel, while Aldrich gave him a long deep kiss.
"Ahh… what was the question again?"
"Children, yours, four of. Picnic." Aldrich selected another duck.
"It went well. Um, by now everybody suspected anyway, so getting honest was a big relief all around, I think. Especially for me. Seeing all four of them together finally…" They met each other's eyes in a soft smile. "I'll treasure it. However. Too serious. My turn to kill a duck." He pushed Aldrich down into the water and fizzed a duck on his nipples with a long kiss. "Mm. When are you going to tell me how this got started, anyway?"
Aldrich sternly admonished the next duck, "We do not acknowledge or respond to inquiries regarding fowl play. Not ever. I'm sorry. Now you must die." He dove the duck to Manfred's tender parts and held it fizzing there while taking another deep kiss.
"Mm. Good duck," sighed Manfred. "Not sorry I asked. Was Friedrich trying to cheer you up about something?"
"No, these were a gift from our charming young Kieran. I suspect Sylvain helped."
"Oh, Shinou!" Manfred laughed. "I trust no one explained it to her?"
"Explain what, pray tell?" Aldrich inquired of the next goner in line. "There's nothing to explain. All ducks must die." He lifted Manfred slightly and nestled the duck to fizz beneath him, while pressing Manfred tightly to his chest for another kiss.
"Ahh! That's two in a row for you. So many, many ducks…"
"You were gone forever this afternoon. I was afraid something went wrong," prompted Aldrich again.
"Oh, we were back by mid-afternoon. Then Wolfram and I had a long heart to heart. I think I finally got him to see, that it really isn't up to Wolfram what Yuuri being 'finished' with this girl-thing looks like. If Yuuri says it's over, and he wants them back together, and Wolfram wants him back then… get back together already." He selected a duck and complained to it, "So many conditions! Sorry, duckie. Unconditional love works." And Aldrich's private parts got fizzed.
"We could save some ducks for tomorrow," suggested Manfred to his molten lover.
"No. All ducks must die, on day of receipt," said Aldrich, rallying to select another duck. "I wonder how their date is going."
Manfred laughed. "Godawful, I imagine. Oh, wait, you've got to hear this plan – Greta and Kieran came up with it." He conveyed the would-be matchmakers' plan.
They howled in laughter in each others arms – several more ducks dissolved to their deaths along the way. "Oh," said Aldrich, still chuckling. "That's so lame it might work. And Wolfram and Sylvain know about this stupid plan?"
Manfred gave an exaggerated nod. "They're accomplices. That's probably how Sylvain came to help Kieran buy fizzy bath ducks, come to think of it."
"Ah," crooned Aldrich to the next death row duck, "To be young and stupid again. When problems in love were so simply solved." He dunked Manfred into the tub so he could fizz his neck and ear.
"What do you do with the wooden ducks? Most people think you collect them."
"My servants know the dark truth. The hollow ones with resin paint burn especially well. Flaming flotilla bath."
"Should I be concerned about this duck fetish?"
"It is not a fetish," Aldrich explained to a duck. "You don't turn me on – he does. You, are merely a bath toy. Which I play with. In the bath. And… you die." Manfred laughed as Aldrich fizzed his feet.
"What are you going to tell them in the marriage counseling?"
Aldrich shrugged. "They learned something from all this, Shinou knows what, it's their lesson, not mine. Make them verbalize that. Probably simplify their expectations. Put a little more effort into loving each other. A little less into being neurotic. Align to a joint vision. Get off each other's toes. The usual stuff."
Manfred laughed softly. "Sounds good." Aldrich always insisted he said the same old stuff over and over again. At the Majutsu Institute, he was an adjunct healing professor, teaching one-on-one tutorials on love, to students whom the faculty felt were way too judgmental with their patients. He gave only one lecture a year, to the healing and nobility students. Every year, he used the same thesis – unconditional love as a healing principle in leadership. Same thesis, yes, but he never repeated an example. Manfred and the other professors attended every year, and hadn't been bored yet.
"Final four ducks," reported Manfred, straddling Aldrich, privates to privates, and wriggling. "I suggest mass execution, right here."
-oOo-
Kieran's custom deviled eggs arrived. Yuuri finally raised his now-cold turkey haunch to his mouth.
"Let's dance now, Yuuri!" she insisted.
Yuuri chewed, and decided, he might as well. Sighing, he laid down the turkey leg and let himself be dragged to the dance floor. Kieran insisted on ballroom dancing, which didn't really work with the costumes – Morgif was bruising Yuuri's thigh.
Yuuri's eyes narrowed, muscular memory calling something to mind. Hang on. I danced with this girl at the ball, and she was intelligent and with it. Why tonight…
He felt a draft behind him, and all of a sudden Kieran seized his face in both hands, said, "Kiss me, Yuuri!" and planted a kiss on his mouth.
Politeness be damned, he'd had enough. He held her at arm's length and demanded, "Kieran, just what do you think you're doing?"
"Hey!" yelled Sylvain from behind him. "That wasn't part of the deal!"
Yuuri let go of Kieran instantly, and turned in surprise. Kieran came up behind to whisper in his ear, "I'm Wolfram's sister. Sh. Don't tell anybody." He turned back to stare at her and she gave him a suddenly intelligent evil green demon smile. "Marry Wolfram, Yuuri. You're in love with him."
Dumbfounded, Yuuri watched as Kieran crossed to Sylvain – costumed as a shark – and he slapped her. And she grinned and slapped him back. And the whole dance floor erupted in applause as they fell into each other's arms.
A sexy blond fire fox, his hip thrown out aggressively and arms crossed, demanded, "That was your plan?"
"Wolfram!" Yuuri breathed. He'd never been so happy to hear that husky bedroom voice. He stepped to him, held his furry red arms and said, "It is you, isn't it, Wolfram, love?"
"Of course it's me, wimp. But you can't kiss me now. That would reward them for coming up with such a lame –"
Yuuri kissed him anyway, long and hard. He broke for air, and murmured, "I missed you, oh, I missed you!"
"I missed you, too, wimp," Wolfram breathed, and threw his arms around Yuuri's neck to kiss him some more. They rested nose to nose in each other's arms. "Are we back to being fiancés yet?"
"Want me to slap you again?"
"No, let me do it first this time." And Wolfram hauled off and slapped him – hard.
Yuuri, hand to cherry-red slapped face, laughed. "Oh, now let me, my love!" And slapped Wolfram back as hard as he could – which wasn't nearly as hard.
Wolfram crooked a smile. "Wimp." And the dance floor gave another round of applause for the two betrothed couples.
"Well, it worked, I suppose," allowed Efram, predictably dressed as a green pixie.
"It was a good plan," insisted Greta, dressed as a gnome.
Wolfram turned and crossed his arms again, regarding the girls. "It was a lame plan," he insisted. "Sylvain, I can't believe you let these –"
"Shh," whispered Yuuri, grabbing him. "It worked. Leave it at that. Love, I've wanted to bring you and Greta and Efram to this place since I first laid eyes on it. Dance with me. I want you in my arms forever. Hold me, and don't let go."
Wolfram melted into his arms, "No, I won't let go."
And with the right person in his arms, Yuuri found it to be a very hot date indeed.
-oOo-
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