Shattered Illusions Chapter Eight: Harry's mind

Severus knew what to expect when he dived into Harry's mind, or he thought he did anyway. You cannot predict exactly what to expect when looking into a mind, but you generally have an idea. Not two minds are alike, but they can be similar and whatever Severus was expecting, this was far from it.

Severus was shocked to say the least. Out of the hundreds of minds that he invaded, none were like this. The mind of Harry's was so different that he didn't actually know what to do.

He was expecting memories to come forward so he could easily go through them, but that's not what happened. When Severus entered Harry's mind, there were no memories. There were no memories, thoughts, or dreams. Harry's mind was, to Severus' shock, seemingly completely empty.

It was dark and he seemed to be in a room. There were walls that Severus first thought were Occlumency walls, but they weren't, they seemed to be regular walls. He was puzzled and confused, and he had never felt like that while going through somebody's mind. It was a talent that came almost as easy as breathing, but this was different, something wasn't right.

Severus shook his head and started moving down the wall and stopped abruptly when he came to a door. He could feel shields up on it and he leaned forward to get a better look at it.

The door was made of wood and it had, "Harry" carved on it. By the name and along the sides of the door there were little lions. He reached forward to try to open the door, but it was locked tightly, so he pulled out his wand and tried to use magic. No matter what he did, the door didn't budge. He decided that he would continue exploring and come back to the door.

As he continued down, he came to another door. On closer inspection he noticed that it was the door to a closet, and on it "Freak" was carved. Severus swore he could hear whimpering and crying coming from inside and sadness and fear hung heavily in the air.

Continuing he came to another door that he didn't even attempt to open. The door was different, it wasn't made of wood but steal and it was bolted shut with many locks and chains. But that wasn't why, the reason that the door frightened him was because it was covered in very dark magic and he could hear vicious growling coming from inside.

Severus told himself that he would come back to that door later and try to figure it out and he continued. He kept going along the walls until he realized that there were no more doors. He went back to the first two doors and tried to open them but they were covered in shields stronger than he had ever seen.

After a long time he decided that it was enough for that day and it was time to report to Poppy. With that thought in mind, he carefully extracted himself from Harry's mind. Harry was laying on his bed and had fallen asleep while waiting.

"Well?" Poppy asked. "What did you find?"

"Absolutely nothing." Severus said, Poppy looked confused. "There were no memories."

"None?" She asked shocked.

"His mind was almost completely empty from what I could see." Severus informed. "It was very dark but there were three doors. All of them had shields like you wouldn't believe. The first one had, "Harry" carved on it, the second had "Freak" and the last one didn't have anything carved on it. The last one was made of steal and was bolted shut with more locks than I had ever seen on a door."

"Strange...I've never heard of such a thing." Poppy said thoughtfully. "Maybe he's been abused to the point that it traumatized him, so his mind locked all those memories up."

"I could believe that, but if that's the case then why were there no other memories?" Severus wondered.

"That's a good question." Poppy said. "I do know though, that I do not want him going back to his home."

"No." Severus agreed. "I'll talk to Albus." Poppy nodded and Severus took his leave. It was getting kind of late so he decided that he would talk to the Headmaster tomorrow after he finished teaching.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Chocolate Frogs." Severus muttered and the gargoyle sprang aside so he could go up.

"Ah Severus, come in." Dumbledore said before Severus could even knock. He shook his head and entered.

"Sit." Dumbledore suggested, "Lemon drop?" Severus sat and politely declined the lemon drop. Of all his years of being at Hogwarts, he had never accepted one of Albus' lemon drops so he decided that one day, he would accept one just to see what Dumbledore's face looked like.

"I need to talk to you about Potter." Severus said.

"What's the boy done now?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Nothing this time." Severus said. "But I cannot allow him to go back to his relatives."

"Why ever not?" Dumbledore asked so Severus went through all the injuries that Harry had come with and told him what he found in Harry's mind.

"Severus, there are blood wards at his house that are protecting him from death eaters, he has to stay." Dumbledore said.

"They protect him from death eaters, but do they protect him from his relatives?" Severus asked.

"You said yourself that you did not find evidence of abuse except for his injuries." Dumbledore said, "And with those, he probably just has run ins with the town bully. You know how children are."

"Yes. I do know." Severus said darkly. "But this is not a run in with a bully. Those injuries have been there since he was very young, Poppy thinks at least two years old."

"Severus, if you can come up with proof, memories or something else, then I will find a replacement for him, but until then he will remain with his relatives." Dumbledore said firmly. "That is my final word."

"Very well, Headmaster." Severus said, getting up to leave.

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"Get out here, Freak!" Uncle Vernon yelled and yanked the cupboard door open. Freak flinched back but then came forward. It was Freak's fifth birthday, but he knew nothing special would happen.

Dudley always had a birthday party and loads of presents and friends, but Freak never got any of that. If anything, he would get an extra beating to put him in his place.

"You will start your chores, and you will start with the dishes." Uncle Vernon growled. Freak nodded and made his way to the kitchen. He went to the cupboard and pulled out the phone books, then set them in front of the sink, he had to stand on them to reach.

Even with the phone books he wasn't quite tall enough and had to stretch, at five years old he was only the size of a small three year old. Freak reached up and turned on the hot water and some cold, making it hot but bearable.

After it was full of water and soap he started loading the dishes in and started cleaning them. Half way through he had to load the sink back up, but the plates were a bit out of reach. Freak started inching closer and stretching until he had his hands on the plate. To his horror, as he was straightening himself, the pages of the phone book slipped and he toppled over, the plate crashing to the ground and breaking.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" Uncle Vernon bellowed from the living room. Freak could hear and feel his uncle's heavy feet booming as he stomped towards the kitchen. He was still dazed from hitting his head on the counter and then the floor, and he noticed the blood starting to trickle down his face.

"Freak! How dare you break my plate and bleed on the floor? You will pay!" Freak flinched back, curling up on the floor. He knew he shouldn't. He knew that the more he tried to curl up, the more the punishment would hurt, but he couldn't help it.

Uncle Vernon stomped forward, grabbed a piece of the plate, yanked Freak off the floor and turning him, slashed the glass across his back. Freak gasped in pain and his uncle did it over and over, then dropped it and dragged him over to the sink.

Uncle Vernon grabbed Freak's hand, turned on the hot water as hot as it would go, and thrust his hand under it. Freak screamed and tried to pull it back but Uncle Vernon was too strong. Freak had tears in his eyes and he screamed and screamed until Vernon let go.

Freak fell to the floor and Vernon kicked him in the side. "Get up!"

Freak shuddered.

"Get up!"

Freak sobbed as the kicks got harder and harder. Suddenly there were hands on him, holding him to the floor as his uncle went to town kicking him.

"Wake up, Harry!" A voice said and Freak shot up.

Freak had no idea where he was. The room was white and he was on a bed. A woman had her hand on his arm and Professor Snape stood at the end of the bed watching him. Freak's face went blank for a moment.

"What happened?" Harry signed.

"You had a nightmare it seems." Snape said.

"Oh."

"Do you remember what it was about?" Pomfrey asked.

"No. Not at all." Harry signed. "Sorry."

"It's alright dear." She said patting his shoulder. "Are you hungry?" Harry's stomach growled and he looked embarrassed.

"I'll go order some food from the kitchen then." She smiled. Severus and Harry were left there in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes until Harry started coughing. Blood started to come from his mouth and Harry wiped it away and looked at it.

"Here." Snape said handing him a potion. "You must have hurt your vocal cords when you were screaming. This should sooth it."

"Thank you." Harry signed and took it.

"Here we are." Poppy said happily, carrying a tray of food. She set it down on Harry's lap and told him to eat up. The tray had a plate of eggs, bacon, toast and had a bowl of fruit, and some pumpkin juice. Harry's eyes widened at all of the food.

"You don't have to eat it all, Harry." Poppy said smiling. "Just eat what you can." Harry nodded and picked up his fork. Poppy smiled and left, and Severus pulled a chair up and took a seat. Harry was curious, but didn't say anything.

Harry was only able to eat about half of his food but tried to make himself eat all of it, he didn't want it to go to waste.

"You don't have to eat it all, Mr. Potter." Snape said. Harry nodded so Snape banished the rest of the food with his wand.

"Mr. Potter, is it ok if I ask you some questions?" Snape asked.

"Yes." Harry signed unsurely.

"What is your home life like?" Snape questioned.

"I don't really know." Harry signed.

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I don't really remember them very much." Harry responded slowly. "It's fuzzy." Snape frowned.

"What do you remember?"

"I remember a cupboard. And some yelling." Harry said.

"A cupboard? What about a cupboard." Snape wondered.

"I was in it, and it was really dark." Harry replied.

"What of the yelling? What was being said?"

"I think I broke a plate or something. Uncle Vernon said something like, 'How dare you break the plate?' but I can't remember what else he said." Harry said.

"Hm...That doesn't leave me much to go off of." Severus said to himself.

"Go off of for what?"

"Oh, nothing, don't worry about it." Snape said just as Poppy came in.

"Oh good, you're finished." She said. "We have to discuss something."

"What is it?"

"I would like to do surgery on your throat so I can try to fix the damage." She stated.

"Cut me open?" Harry asked worried.

"Yes, you would be asleep through the whole thing." She said.

"I don't want you to cut me open." Harry signed with tears in his eyes.

"Would you feel better if you had somebody with you?" Poppy questioned. Harry nodded reluctantly and Poppy shot Severus a look, who huffed.

"I can stay with you if you like, Mr. Potter." He grumbled.

"Really? I don't want to be a bother." Harry signed.

"You're not a bother." Snape grumped.

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to do this right away." Poppy said softly, Harry swallowed and nodded. Poppy left to go get some potions and Harry was starting to get really nervous.

"Calm down, Potter." Snape said. "It will be alright, it's only a minor surgery." Harry nodded but didn't look convinced. Severus sighed and took Harry's hand and gave it a little squeeze. Startled, Harry looked over at Snape.

"Scared." Harry signed.

"I know, but wont it be nice to be able to talk again?" Harry shrugged, then let go of Snape's hand for a minute.

"I don't think I ever talked much. When I've tried to talk while being here, nothing came out right. I can't pronounce things and the words get all mixed up." He signed, then took Snape's hand again. It was weird, It was such a small gesture, but it gave Harry a lot of comfort. Nobody had ever willingly held his hand.

"We will have to work on that then." Snape said.

"Alright then, Mr. Potter." Poppy said coming into the room holding potions in both hands. She handed one of them to Harry and put the rest on the table by his bed.

"Drink that and you will be out. It'll be over before you know it." She said. Harry looked at Snape.

"Go ahead, Mr. Potter." Snape said. "I'll be right here the whole time." Harry nodded and swallowed the potion, then layed down and waited for it to take effect. Harry tried to fight it, but within seconds he was slipping away into darkness.