Midterms are over! (gleeful)

To celebrate, you get a new chapter. Still slightly angsty, but I promise the slashing is forthcoming!

X

Chapter 5

The drumming of rain on the canvas roof of the tent would drive him mad. Obi-Wan was absolutely sure of that fact. It was only a question of whether the Separatist Forces would manage to kill him one way or another before that point. Either way, the future appeared rather bleak.

The rain on Coruscant had never prevented him from sleeping. It was the clear nights when Anakin snuck out of the Temple to visit the lovely Senator that kept him awake, hand clenched tightly against his pillow as he glared into the darkness. Rain generally meant that Anakin would sleep in his own room, and Obi-Wan could let go of his jealousy long enough to drift into slumber.

No, he had never had a problem sleeping in the rain. Except when Anakin got it into his head to go and stand out in the storm, of course. But in those cases, Obi-Wan worried about what the puddles invariably left after such an excursion would do to the wooden floors of their apartment more than anything else.

Here, the rain seemed so much closer than it did in the Republic's capital. The clouds were low and dreary, making day almost indistinguishable from night. The rain got inside of him, so that even when Obi-Wan was completely dry, he still felt soaked through and freezing cold. He couldn't rid himself of the feeling, the confined, clammy sensation that the weather invoked.

And the sound of it wasn't comforting any longer. It was relentless, grating on nerves already frayed to the breaking point. If the Separatists won this battle, Obi-Wan's report to the Temple would be that droids couldn't be driven insane. That was a flaw that sentients like the clones and their commanders regrettably still possessed.

Droids also didn't have that same instinctive and biological need for sunlight that living creatures required. The medics had already exhausted the vitamin D supplements, but even those had been almost completely ineffective. None of the Republic troops had been sleeping well – the constant darkness weighed heavily on the spirit and disrupted the natural circadian rhythms of the body. Add to that the constant strain of adrenaline in battle….

Obi-Wan sighed, casting aside his data-pad and closing his eyes. He wouldn't sleep, he already knew that. And the irritating sound of the rain, like a conversation just out of earshot, would keep him from quieting his mind enough to meditate.

The sound of the rain increased in volume momentarily as Anakin entered the tent, pushing back his sodden curls from his face. Obi-Wan smiled fondly as the scent of wind and rain (which always smelled sweeter on Anakin) filled the tent.

"There's no movement in the droid encampments," Anakin reported shortly, shrugging out of his waterlogged cloak and draping it over the end of his cot, before sitting to remove his boots. He pulled a face at the squelching sound his foot made when tugged from the leather, and pushed open the tent flap again to pour out the miniature lake that had accumulated inside.

"I didn't expect any," Obi-Wan replied calmly, studying Anakin through half-closed eyes. His former apprentice was tense, his hands clenched on the edges of his cot. "They won't resume the offensive until dawn; they sustained heavy losses today."

"So did we. And clones can't just be repaired, Master."

Obi-Wan bit the inside of his lip, and decided that there was no argument he could make. Anakin was right. The clone troopers were treated like any other weapon, as being completely expendable. But the Jedi wouldn't survive for long without the backing of their armies. The troopers were designed for combat, while the Jedi were still learning much about the art of warfare.

"Wouldn't it be nice if Trade Federation battle droids were solar powered?" Obi-Wan mused aloud, hoping to lighten the mood.

Anakin shot him a pointed glare through his bedraggled curls. Even the infamous Skywalker good looks that had females of all species swooning across the galaxy couldn't hold up under the constant rain. It would have almost made Obi-Wan feel better, had he not known for certain that he looked ten times worse.

Even Sena-whore Amidala wouldn't look so pretty if she had had to live through hell every day. Upon their return to the capital, she would probably refuse to touch Anakin until he was presentable again, lest the mud and water damage one of her garish outfits.

Bitch.

"We're going to die here, aren't we Master?"

The words caught Obi-Wan by surprise, dragging him from his bitter reverie. He pushed himself up into a half-sitting position, to stare at Anakin. The young Jedi Knight wasn't prone to being so pessimistic. And in the entire course of their relationship, Obi-Wan had never known his apprentice to fear his own death.

Of course, before these Clone Wars had started, his former Padawan hadn't had as much to lose. The piercing thought made Obi-Wan's heart ache sharply, and he absently pressed his hand over the spot as though he could will away the pain.

Obi-Wan glanced back at Anakin, whose gaze was fixed on some inward memory. Obi-Wan had no illusions as to who the younger man was thinking about.

Padmé.

"It isn't fair!" Anakin suddenly exploded, jumping up off his cot and flinging his arms out in a gesture of impotent rage. "We're going to die here, and nobody will care at all! This planet is meaningless strategically, and our deaths will serve for nothing!"

"You're right."

Obi-Wan saw Anakin's eyes widen in surprise at this answer. Of course, he would probably have expected his rigid Master to lecture him for second-guessing the will of the infallible Council. It was what Obi-Wan would have expected of himself, on any other day.

"The only argument I would make, young one, is your claim that no one would care if you died," Obi-Wan continued in the same calm voice, amazed that no emotion was betrayed in his tone. I would care. Or have you forgotten that already? "You and I both know that that isn't true."

He slowly raised his eyes to meet Anakin's own, adding weight to that final statement. It was as close as he could ever get to telling Anakin that he knew about the illicit affair with Padmé. Any open attempt to broach the subject would result only in more falsehoods and anger. Anakin would deny it, and Obi-Wan would lecture him on the importance of letting go of all attachments, hypocritical as that sermon might be. They were stuck in that pattern now; it was useless to think that their conversation could go any differently.

"We're married." Anakin whispered helplessly.

Obi-Wan felt his heart crack and turn cold, a heavy weight on his chest. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move. He wanted to leap up and pull Anakin into a tight embrace, to reassure the younger man that he would do everything in his power to keep Anakin and Padmé safe. He would fight droids, the Council, or Sith Lords to protect the younger man. Anything that Anakin asked of him.

Ironic that he would preach to Anakin about attachment.

But the sudden pain in his heart paralysed him, forcing him to retreat behind his tightly made defensive walls. Until all he could do was murmur quietly:

"I'm so sorry."

There was a cold breeze across his face as Anakin stormed out of the tent again. Obi-Wan was left staring at the bland canvas walls, seeing nothing but the fear in Anakin's eyes. A fear that was echoed in his own heart.