Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! They are the highlights of my dreary, toil-filled university existence. lol. (grins).

This will be the last update for a few weeks, as I have many a term paper to write (five for next week, two for the week following) and then I'm into exams. I know that at least some of you are going through the same thing, so I beg your indulgence and patience with me! Good luck and bon courage to those who are heading into exams!!

(as a side note, yes: the last chapter was pretty much an excuse for Delta-7 porn. now the actual plot can resume, hahaha.)

Chapter 7

It was almost winter; soon the rain would turn to snow and blanket the grimy buildings of Coruscant in a soothing white blanket. As autumn took hold of the planet, the weather seemed to be determined to awe the populace with as many tempests as possible before the peaceful cold settled in.

Obi-Wan stood with his hands clenched on the balcony railing, letting the rain drum against his shoulders and trickle down his neck. He stood with his head bowed, eyes half closed as he stared blankly at his hands. He had stopped being able to feel them ten minutes ago; for all that it was still rain rather than snow, the drops were cold enough to be made of ice water. They stung as they smacked against any areas of exposed skin, almost sharp enough to draw blood.

Obi-Wan didn't know how long he had been standing outside on the lonely balcony, staring morosely through the driving rain. He did know that he had stopped shivering some time ago, that all his senses were going numb from prolonged exposure.

Well, that had been the point, after all. To numb his mind and his body completely, so that he wouldn't have to think, wouldn't have to come to the only solution that honour demanded.

Inside, Obi-Wan knew that Anakin would still be sound asleep, curled up between the soft blankets of their shared bed. Inside, wrapped in those strong arms, Obi-Wan could be safe and warm. He could forget everything outside the individual moments spent in bliss with Anakin. They were few enough now in this war; Obi-Wan knew he should take advantage of them while they lasted.

But as much as his heart ached to do so, his mind kept churning through the utter wrongness of the situation. He was breaking the Code; he was far too attached to Anakin. Their relationship was more intense than any other Knight pair in the Temple. Ordinarily, the two of them would have been separated already, but no one dared to break up the best team in the Order when they were needed most.

That wasn't what prevented him from sleeping at night though, when he rested his cheek on Anakin's smooth chest and listened to the thunder of the younger man's heartbeat. He didn't give a damn about what the Council thought of him any longer, not if he had to choose between their approval and Anakin's affection.

It was Padmé to whom his thoughts turned. Senator Amidala. His partner's wife. His best friend, former apprentice, and current lover, was married.

That was what pricked at Obi-Wan's sense of duty, at his ethics. That was what made him incapable of sleeping peacefully at night. Padmé Amidala had been a friend of his, and he was willingly betraying her night after night, mission after mission.

But he had been able to ignore the little voice of his conscience before now, before this afternoon. This afternoon, when he had realized that there wasn't just one Force-signature emanating from the young Nubian Senator. There were two. The second one was very faint – obviously still developing – but there was no mistaking it.

Anakin's wife was pregnant.

Obi-Wan stared numbly through the rain-lashed sky towards the Senatorial Apartments. He couldn't shake the feeling of pure self-loathing that gnawed at him from the inside. He had felt that other presence, had recognized the truth instantly, but had still spent the night in Anakin's arms. It was childish and wrong, as though he were trying to stake a claim against his lover's unborn child. He felt sickened by his own actions, deliberately seducing Anakin tonight to prove that the young Knight was still his, no matter what might change in his former Padawan's other life.

Despicable behaviour for a Jedi. Even worse for a friend. Did Padmé even know she was pregnant yet? Did Anakin? How long before it was revealed, and Obi-Wan's jealously guarded secret was no longer his knowledge alone?

So he stood in the frigid rain, as though it could numb the pain in his heart, or somehow wash away the stain of his actions. What was it the Togorians had said? That God was in the rain?

Obi-Wan smiled bitterly. Maybe he could pray for forgiveness, and be absolved of his transgressions by standing in the downpour for a few more hours. By then he would be completely frozen, senses mercifully deadened to the world around him. Maybe then this wouldn't hurt so much.

It was over. Obi-Wan had known that the moment he had seen Padmé on the landing platform. In the morning, he would tell Anakin that it was over. There was no other way.

As though Obi-Wan's thoughts had summoned him, Anakin was suddenly in the doorway to the balcony. Obi-Wan could feel his presence, but he didn't turn to acknowledge it.

"Obi-Wan? What in the Sith are you doing out here? You'll freeze to death!"

He closed his eyes tightly at the sleepy concern in Anakin's voice, tensing as familiar arms wrapped securely around his waist, enveloping him in Anakin's heavy cloak. With a muffled sob, Obi-Wan turned and pressed his face against Anakin's shoulder, barely hearing the soothing nonsensical words that the Jedi Knight murmured against his hair.

He didn't believe in God: Jedi were not religious in the strictest sense, as they were taught only to trust in the Force. Still, Obi-Wan couldn't help but breathe a prayer against Anakin's bare skin, hoping that the Togorians were right, and that it would be heard and answered.

Please, let us survive this storm together. Please don't take him from me completely.

Anakin inclined his head so that his cheek rested against Obi-Wan's.

"Did you say something, Master?"

Obi-Wan forced himself to pull away, made himself meet Anakin's eyes coolly. He hoped that the rain on his skin would hide the tears that rose in his eyes.

"We need to talk, Anakin."

"Obi-Wan!"

He was dimly aware of a hand on his shoulder, shaking him. It was a vague sensation of pressure; his body was too numb to feel anything, his thoughts too scattered to register who was talking.

Warm arms wrapped around him, slowly lifting him to his feet. He sagged backwards, collapsing against the anonymous Jedi's chest. His legs were completely numb, unable to support his weight after kneeling in the rain all night. He hissed between his teeth as circulation was painfully restored, allowing himself to be led back inside.

Obi-Wan made no protest as he was stripped of his sodden robes, as hands roughly chafed over his arms and chest to warm his skin. He felt as though he was drowning, crushed by the weight of the silence he'd wrapped around himself. He had to stay cold and detached. He shook his head tightly as he was pulled into a rough embrace. He couldn't allow himself to think, he couldn't allow himself to feel. Even as warmth was restored to his numbed limbs, his frozen heart was starting to ache again.

The other Jedi was talking, but Obi-Wan retreated deeply into himself, letting the words run together into a nonsensical stream of noise. He was starting to remember the look of shock and hurt on Anakin's face when he had curtly told the younger Knight to get out. He was starting to remember the rough sound of his lover's voice as Anakin pleaded to know what he had done wrong. The look in his eyes as he had stormed out of their apartments.

Obi-Wan felt moisture on his cheeks, and realized he had started to cry. Funny, he had thought he had no more tears left. A gentle hand under his chin forced him to reluctantly raise his head and meet his friend's eyes. Quinlan Vos smiled sadly, brushing his hand across Obi-Wan's cheek to dispel the tears.

"Are you going to tell me what in the Sith you were doing out there?"

Obi-Wan began to laugh helplessly, a choked hysterical sound. Scrubbing the back of his hands across his eyes, he attempted to master his emotions. He was a Jedi, if nothing else. Though his heart ached as though a blaster bolt had pierced it, he summoned a crooked smile.

"I love him, Quin."