Alex walked down the street with her hands in her pocket and permanent scowl affixed to her face. I wish Trey was here. I'd beat the shit out of him all over again. Alex felt her shoulders tense so much that they'd become one big knot. She kicked at rocks on the ground and cursed under her breath. Why Riss?

Marissa had long ago finished off the contents of the vial. If Alex didn't give a shit, why should she? She didn't have anything left. The feeling of euphoria was beginning to take over and Marissa grabbed her iPod out of her purse before walking out of her room. She scanned the house although she already knew Alex was gone. Aside from hearing the front door open and close, Marissa knew that when they ever had a fight, Alex would leave to cool off and come back when she was ready to talk. Marissa walked out the back door, down the stairs, and to the edge of the water. She sat down and put the headphones on.

As the lyrics played into her ears, Marissa looked out at the waves and could remember watching Alex surf for the first time and being mesmerized by the grace and fluid movement Alex made while mastering the waves. She missed those days. Before everything seemed to go to shit.

No one would ever see things the way I do
No one will try
All my friends think that I'm gone
But I swear...
I swear I'm not

Alex really wanted to hit someone or something. She clenched her first and her nails dug into her palms, drawing blood. She glanced down at her bruised and cut knuckles and sighed. She felt all her anger build throughout her body. She needed a release and she needed it now.

This make me feel that I'll never be quite normal
This makes me act like I'll never get out alive (alive)
I'll get to acting, make you all believe me
I'll get to faking, show you all how to grieve

Marissa could see people down the beach laughing and playing, running around, playing with a soccer ball and playing fetch with a dog. She wondered if her life had ever been that normal. Even if it ever seemed that normal. Marissa felt as though from the time she turned six everything went down hill. Her parents divorce. Her dad leaving. Ryan leaving and coming back as he pleased. Her mom coming and going when she wanted to. Summer was the only real constant in her life, but even with Summer there was a connection there that couldn't be made. Marissa wanted someone the understood her on a deeper level. She was starting believe it was never going to happen.

Because people seemed to come and go as they saw fit, Marissa learned at an early age not to get attached to anyone. She thought that she could get past that with Ryan, but she always seemed to keep him at an arm's length. Everyone else she dated was just someone to occupy her time. Until Alex.

In and out is where it gets back to the place
It does make me feel like I just want to feel just like its touch

Alex never got this angry with anyone else. To be truthful she never really cared about anyone enough to be that angry with them. Alex had two people three people that she cared enough to get angry with. Serena who had been there since kindergarten. Jodie who was there when her parents kicked her out and helped her through that. And Marissa, who had some strange control over Alex and made her fall completely head over heels for the Newport-born beauty.

She'd finally hit the end of the street and had to turn around. She didn't want to go back to the house so she pulled out her phone and dialed. She listened to it ring twice.

"What?" the familiar voice answered, sleepily.

"Come pick me up," Alex told the woman on the other end of the line.

"A please would be nice," the voice seemed to be more awake.

Alex kicked a rock that jumped three times before hitting a curb, "Jodie, please."

"That's more like it," Jodie answered, "Where are you?"

"A couple blocks from my house," Alex looked around. She saw some kids playing in the front yard of a nice two story house that looked three times as big as hers and Serena's house. She momentarily missed the days where her whole world was playing with her friends in her parent's yard.

"Five minutes," Jodie told her before hanging up.

Alex expected that from Jodie by now, so Alex sat down on the curb and waited all the while trying to sort out the million thoughts in her head.

Marissa tossed her iPod as far up the beach as she could making it almost hit the porch of the house then laid down in the sand as the tide started to rise. The coke was wearing off sooner and sooner than before, leaving her in a state of depression. She felt the waves lap at her feet before slowly progressing up her body until it completely covered her with every surge. She squeezed her eyes shut as the waves got higher and soon they would engulf her entire body even when the waves receded and she'd be submerged the whole time.

Her eyes shot open at someone shouting her name. "Marissa!" Unfortunately she opened her eyes just as a wave crashed over her and she got two eyes full of salt water. She shot up into a sitting position and wiped her eyes. She turned to the sound of the voice and saw Serena walking towards her.

"Are you okay?" Serena asked warily.

Marissa just shrugged.

"A few more minutes and the undertow would have pulled you out to sea," Serena added, watching Marissa's reaction.

There was no reaction. Marissa just started walking up to the house. Truth be told, Marissa already knew that. She was just disappointed that Serena got there first.

Jodie's car came roaring around the corner. The top was down and music was blaring. The black Corvette pulled to a stop right in front of her. Alex stood up and got in, noticing Jodie's hair was sloppily pulled back and the dark sunglasses on her face. Jodie had just woken up and probably had a hang over.

The ride back to Jodie's apartment was quiet sans the music all around. Even when they got there, Jodie turned off the car and got out without saying anything. She and Alex had an understanding that they never really had to speak to communicate. Alex was thankful for that for that right then.

Once inside, Jodie fell back on the couch and Alex sat next to her.

Jodie finally took off the glasses and looked at Alex, "What's up?"

Alex opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She swallowed some tears and clenched her jaw. Jodie knew what this meant. She just took Alex into her arms and held her there before Alex laid her head in Jodie's lap.

Jodie just stroked her hair and waited for Alex to speak. When she finally did it was slow and thought out, "Marissa…she's staying with me and Serena. Her mom kicked her out."

"Oh," Jodie nodded.

Alex reached up to wipe her eyes in an effort to keep the tears in.

"Whoa," Jodie reached down and took Alex's hand, examining the cuts and bruises. "Marissa do that?"

"What?" Alex looked at her hands and then shook her head, "No. This guy…tried to," the word caught in Alex's throat because the thought of anyone doing something like that sickened her but the thought of someone doing it to Marissa sent all of her organs into a riot. She finally got it out, "He tried to rape her."

"Ah," Jodie ran her hand all the way down Alex's back and back up. Jodie put Alex's hand down and ran her fingers through her Alex's hair again. "Is that it?"

"She's doing coke," Alex breathed as if speaking it softly would make it less true.

"No shit?" Jodie asked, "Wow."

A few hours later, Alex was laying on the couch with a half empty bottle of tequila in her hand. It was full when Jodie gave it to her forty-five minutes ago. Jodie had been working around the apartment, doing dishes and washing clothes before she finally sat with Alex, "Wanna watch a movie?"

Alex suddenly stood up and ran to the bathroom. Jodie rushed after her and gathered Alex's hair out of her face as she heaved into the toilet. All the built up stress and pent up thoughts and emotions finally found a physical outlet.

Jodie sighed as she loosely tied Alex's hair back with a hair tie on the counter and she heard a phone ring. "I'll be right back." Jodie trotted to the phone that was on the phone and flipped it open.

"Yeah?" Jodie asked.

"Jodie," Serena sighed, "Why is Alex's phone with you?"

"Because Alex is with me," Jodie stated, "I'm kinda busy right now so…"

Serena cut her off, "Are you at your apartment?"

Jodie rolled her eyes and watched Alex slump against the wall in the bathroom, "I don't have time-"

"Jodie," Serena stated, "Where are you?"

"Fuck Serena," Jodie was beginning to irritated, "Whatever kind of therapy or whatever you want to have with Alex is going to have to hold off 'til tomorrow because right now she's smashed. You can't fix everything. Stop trying." With that Jodie snapped Alex's phone shut before going back to attending to her friend.

Serena pressed the end button on her phone and set it on the counter. Marissa looked intently at her. The shorter brunette sighed, "She won't tell me where they are, but it was quiet and Alex is smashed so they're most likely as Jodie's apartment."

Marissa slid off of the stool she was sitting on, more angry that before. She's fucking contradicting herself. Walks out when she finds my coke and then goes out and gets smashed to deal with her problems. Damn it Alex. Marissa stalked into her room and closed the door leaving Serena to helplessly watch.

"Who was it?" Alex asked looking up at Jodie from the bathroom floor.

"Serena," Jodie offered her hand to Alex to help her up.

Alex took it and Jodie pulled her to her feet. "Well, thanks for not telling her where I am."

"Don't worry about it," Jodie leads the way back into the living room. Alex laid down on the couch and Jodie went to the kitchen. She came back with a lime, a knife, some salt and two shot glasses.

Alex sat up expectantly. She watched Jodie sit on the floor by the coffee table and cut the lime in half. Jodie looked back up at her and shook her head, "You don't get any more until you drink that water over there." Jodie gestured with the knife toward a bottle of water on the couch.

The blonde picked it up and chugged the whole thing faster than Jodie could pour the shots. Jodie slid one over to Alex with a lime handing on the rim. Alex took the lime off and took the shot.

A few shots later, Alex was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling. Jodie crawled up on the couch from the floor and leaned back on Alex, "Why are you still thinking about her?" They adjusted themselves so that they were laying side by side on the couch.

"I dunno," Alex half-shrugged.

"You can't change her. You can't fix her. Hell you can't even help her unless she wants it," Jodie explained. She paused, "It's her choice. All you can do is be there for her I guess."

Alex mulled Jodie's words over. Then she looked at her friend and smirk, "It's sad that you get smarter when you're drunk."

Jodie rolled her eyes and grabbed the blanket behind Alex, covering both of them up. "Go to sleep before you puke again."

Alex closed her eyes. "Okay." A few seconds later Alex and Jodie were both out like lights.