First off I'd like to thank wonderousplaceforanecho because she's helped so much with this story bouncing ideas around with me and editing and such.
Hope you enjoy
Alex woke up to her phone ringing on the coffee table, next to her. As she reached for it she almost rolled off the couch. Jodie's arms around her kept her from falling.
Without looking to see who it was, Alex answered, "Yeah?"
"Where are you?" a guy's voice asked.
"Demar?" Alex asked.
"Yeah," he started, "It's me. Demar. Your boss. Where are you?"
Alex scrambled to get up from the couch after glancing at the clock on the wall. "I'm on my way."
She could here him laugh, "Good. See you in ten." He hung up.
"Shit!" Alex hissed and ran into Jodie's bedroom to find something to wear.
Jodie was barely awake when Alex opened the front door. "I'm taking your car."
The brunette mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, digging her face into a pillow. Suddenly her head shot up, "You're what?!'
But it was already too late. Alex had shut the door and was probably halfway down the stairs by then. She just fell back on the couch and went back to sleep.
Alex chewed on her lip while she looked over the invoice the delivery guy handed her. He was going back and forth from the truck unloading. As he came back in with one last load Alex held her hand up, "Whoa whoa whoa. We're supposed to have fifteen cases of tequila, four cases of JD, and seven cases of vodka."
"So?" the delivery guy asked not seeming to car.
"There's maybe two cases of tequila there, six cases of JD, and a shitload of vodka," Alex widened her eyes.
"That's what I got in the truck," he shrugged, "If you don't want it, I can put it back in the truck, but if you want your liquor for tonight, you should sign this." He showered her a piece of paper.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do with eighteen cases of fucking vodka?" Alex demanded.
The guy shrugged again.
"How fast can you get more liquor here that isn't vodka?" Alex sighed.
The guy looked thoughtful for a moment, "Tomorrow evening."
"Fuck," Alex cursed. She turned to the bar and set the invoice down, "Why isn't my order in the truck?"
"I don't pack it," he told her, "I just deliver and you're the last stop before I go home so the truck is empty. It's this or nothing."
Alex checked her watch. There was only and hour until opening. "Fine."
He handed her the form and she quickly signed it, handing it back obviously frustrated. He decided that he had already agitated the blonde enough for one night so he left without another word.
"Demar!" Alex called from the bar.
He trotted down the metal staircase and appeared next to her. With a slight smile he asked, "You rang?"
"How are we on beer?" Alex asked, going through papers on her clipboard.
Demar shrugged, "Pretty good I guess."
"You guess?" Alex asked, looking up at him incredulously.
"That's not my department Alex," Demar hopped over the bar and started checking the coolers under the bar. "Looks like we're low on Corona though."
"Shit," Alex sighed, "What about triple sec and Kahlua?"
"I do know we have a lot of both," he said.
"Well head up to the office and print out some flyers. Half price Kamikazes and Mind Erasers.
Tonight only."
"Why?" he asked.
"We didn't get the right order, way too much vodka and we have forty-five minutes until opening," she told him, "Speaking of," she looked around, "Where is everyone?"
Demar shrugged, "No idea." He hopped back over the bar and started to walk back up the stairs.
"You'd be lost without me," Alex called up to him.
"Keep thinking that," he called back, teasing.
Alex smiled slightly before starting to stock the bar, all the while trying to keep her mind occupied with numbers and drink and orders so she wouldn't think about Marissa.
Marissa hadn't come out of her room when Serena got out of the shower at six. Serena tried to talk to her once, but was met with silence. Maybe Jodie is right. I should stop trying to fix everything. It's their problem….but they're both so miserable. No. They're adults. They can sort it out.
As she toweled her hair, there was a knock on the front door. Serena looked down at what she was wearing a decided that boy shorts and a tank top was enough close to meet whoever was knocking at her door. It's not like strangers ever came up to her door.
The knock got louder as she got closer. "Geez," Serena muttered to herself as she unlocked the door. When it swung open, she caught sight of Jodie. Her hair was down and she was in a deep red tank top and tight jeans that accentuated the heeled boots she was wearing.
"Jodie," Serena simply stated. She could see Jodie's eyes traveling up and down her body before finally ending at her face.
"Oh," Jodie slightly blushed and looked at her boots. She regained composure and looked at Serena, "I came to get Alex's Jeep. She stole my car and I have places to go."
"People to do?" Serena quipped.
Jodie shot Serena a glare before putting her hands in her pockets, "Can I just get her keys?"
After studying Jodie for a moment, Serena nodded, "C'mon in and I'll find them."
"Thanks," Jodie followed Serena inside.
"Is Alex okay?" Serena asked.
"Yeah," Jodie asked, looking around and not seeing Marissa, "She's really torn up about Newport Barbie."
"She has a name," Serena stated, looking through the kitchen.
"Sure," Jodie crossed her arms waiting for the keys while she uncomfortably stood in the corner in silence while Serena looked for the keys. Finally, she found them in Alex's room on the nightstand.
The shorter woman threw them to Jodie who caught them and stood there, sizing up Serena.
"Yeah?" Serena asked, lazily.
"Do you want to…" Jodie trailed off, "Never mind. I'll see you later." Jodie slowly walked out the front door as Serena watched.
Once Jodie pulled out of the driveway, Serena closed her eyes and fell back, over the arm of the couch so that her legs were hanging over the side of the couch. She pulled a pillow over her face and held it there.
Marissa hadn't done much over the course of the day. She just laid in bed and stared at the ceiling until she fell asleep and when she woke up, she'd stare at the ceiling some more. Her whole body was in a state of self-anesthetization. She couldn't feel much. She barely felt the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed slow and evenly. Everything outside her head had become white noise and everything inside her head seemed like a million people screaming at the same time.
She didn't want to move for fear of shattering any sense of physical contentment she had. She didn't want to move because that might make her life as it was right then real. So real she'd have to actually deal with it. She didn't have any more drugs, but there was still a bottle of vodka under the bed. She thought about getting it out, but she didn't move. She didn't feel like she could. She didn't feel like making the world start moving again. But most of all, she didn't feel anything.
Serena softly knocked on Marissa's door and hour later, "I was going to go to a bar in a few. Wanna come?"
Silence.
"Marissa," Serena looked at the doorknob, "At least say something to let me know you're alive."
"I'm alive," Marissa's voice said evenly.
Serena sighed, "Okay, well I'm gonna go watch a movie so you know where to find me if you need me."
Silence.
Serena pushed off the door and walked into the living room, not really feeling like going to the bar away cause chances are Alex and Jodie would be there and Marissa obviously didn't want to deal with Alex and Serena definitely didn't want to deal with Jodie just yet.
"Great idea with the flyers!" Demar called over the bar to Alex who was mixing a drink. The music was blaring and the bar was packed.
"Thanks!" Alex nodded and looked out into the sea of people. She was sure if one more group walked in they'd be breaking the maximum occupancy and she knew the fire marshal liked to show up unannounced.
"Hey," the redhead woman, not much younger than Alex, that had been working behind the bar with Alex smiled at her, "You okay?"
"Huh?" Alex asked her, taking some guy's money and tossing it into the cash register before slamming it closed.
"You okay?" the redhead got closer to Alex so she could hear.
"Oh," Alex frowned and shook her head. She paused then added to her, "Tori, I'm gonna take a break. I'll send Trev over to help you."
She nodded, "Thanks."
Alex hopped over the bar and started walking out onto the dance floor. As Alex looked around for Trevor, everything seemed to slow down. Everyone was moving in slow motion. The music faded off into the distance and was replaced with a whirling sound. She stood in the middle of the floor staring at the lights blink on and off in sync with the vibrating building.
"Alex!" a guy calling her interrupted her thoughts.
She whirled around looked at him. It turned out to be Trevor. His tall muscular build hovered over Alex. He was always protective of her when she was around the bar because people would shamelessly hit on her and sometimes it got physical.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"You okay?" Trevor asked, pulling her off the dance floor. He was dressed in designer jeans and a blue shirt that showed his muscular arms. His job was to promote drinks on the dance floor and dance with whoever asked him to and occasionally to bartend.
Alex shook out of it and the music began to pulse in her ears, "I'm gonna take a break. Can you go help Tori?"
Trevor nodded, "Sure."
Alex gave a weak smile before taking off for her office. When she got there she laid down on the couch and closed her eyes. What's wrong with me?
Back from her mid-semester vacation early, Summer wanted to surprise her best friend with some new shoes from Barcelona. She didn't call because she didn't want Marissa to know she was back yet, so she pulled up the Cooper-Nichol mansion in the BMW.
Practically bouncing up the steps to the front door, Summer rang the doorbell, shopping bag in hand. She stood for a moment outside before the door opened.
Julie Cooper-Nichol stood at the front door, donning a red, orange, and yellow floral print dress.
"Hey," Summer smiled, "Marissa around?"
Julie raised an eyebrow, "Come again?"
"Is Marissa here?" Summer slowed down her speech. She knew sometimes she talked fast, but she was sure that Julie heard her the first time.
"I thought she was with you," Julie's eyes got wide.
"What?" Summer asked, "I've been in Spain for two weeks. Why would she be with me?"
Julie stood up straighter as if it would justify what she was about to say, "I kicked her out."
"You what?!" Summer nearly yelled, "Why?"
"Cocaine," Julie replied, holding onto the handle of the door for support, "I thought she'd just go to your house."
"No one has been in my house for two week, like I said," Summer stated. She looked at the ground and thought for a moment before looking angrily at Julie, "How could you do that?"
"I…I didn't…think…" She trailed off, the tiny brunette suddenly making her nervous.
"Exactly," Summer quipped, "We have to find her. I'll go check the Cohens'. You go check hotels."
Julie seemed to know not to argue with Summer at that time. Summer was determined to find her best friend even though jet lag was threatening to take her down.
Marissa's phone rang on the bed next to her, but she just pushed it off of the bed and rolled over. It was getting dark outside so Marissa decided to rise and head outside. She glanced at herself in the mirror on her way out the door. She had dark circles under her eyes even though she'd been sleeping most of the day.
She dreaded running into Alex, but figured she was still working so it was okay to venture out. She walked through the living room with her head down and her hands wrapped around herself. Serena watched her walk all the way outside and then watched Marissa start walking down the beach. She felt like she might need to follow Marissa in case she decided to play with the undertow again.
Alex sat in her office for another ten minutes before standing up. She grabbed Jodie's keys off of her desk and quickly made her way out of her office, through the sea of people and out the door before anyone that worked there could stop her. She could get fired, but she didn't care right then. She just needed to get away and she had something to check on.
The engine of the car roared as Alex peeled out of the parking lot. She was on the highway in minutes. As much as she loved her Jeep, Jodie's car could be loads of run too. With the top down and gas pedal down, Alex let the wind whip around her, the cool night air rushing at her face, waking her up from the exhausting day.
Rapid knocking made Seth look away from his video games long enough for Spider-Man to be pummeled by Doc Oc. "Anyone gonna get that?" he called.
No one answered and the knocking continued. He tossed his controller to the side and trotted to the front door, "Alright, I'm coming. Geez." The second he opened the door Summer asked, "Is Marissa here?"
Seth looked around, "I don't think so. I haven't seen her at school either."
They both heard the back door open and Ryan call out, "Seth!"
"Ryan c'mere," Seth called back, "Summer's here."
The boy materialized in the doorway of the kitchen. "Hey."
"Have you seen Marissa?" Summer asked with urgency that they'd never seen from her.
Ryan put his hand on her stomach and shook his head, "She's not with you?"
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Summer asked, "I've been in Spain. And while I was gone Julie kicked her out figuring she'd come to my house which she didn't. And the only logical choice left is to come here. But she's…not." Summer took a deep breath, "I keep calling her, but she won't answer."
Ryan went back to the kitchen and grabbed the keys to Seth's car.
"Hey whoa there," Sandy told him walking into the kitchen from the direction of his bedroom, "It's a school night. Where are you off to?"
"Julie kicked Marissa out and no one can find her," Ryan explained as he walked toward the front door, "We're going to go look for her."
"Kirsten!" Sandy called, "Marissa is missing! I'm going to help find her."
"I'm coming with you," Kirsten walked out in jeans and a white shirt.
Soon the whole group was scattered all over Newport looking for the missing socialite.
It wasn't long before Alex pulled up to her old apartment. She came to make sure Trey didn't come back. As she neared the door, she heard footsteps behind her.
A man was carrying a box, much too large or too heavy and stumbled forward. Alex sort of caught the box as it hit her causing her to back into the railing and hit a particularly painful bruise from behind shoved into the railing just a two days ago.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he started to panic and took the box from Alex, "I'm just…I lost my balance."
Alex smiled letting the man know it was okay, "You moving in?"
He nodded, "Do you live around here?"
"Uh..." Alex shook her head, "I was just coming to check up on a…on someone. Good luck with the new apartment."
"Thanks," the guy looked on as Alex walked back to her car and sped off into the night.
A loud rumble came from the blonde's stomach. She finally realized she hadn't eaten all day. She decided to stop at a diner on the way back because when she got to the house she was definitely going to talk to Marissa.
Summer yawned as Ryan drove, "I need coffee. Pull off at this cafe thing down here and you can check the last hotel while I get caffeine."
Ryan complied, dropping Summer by the diner before he and Seth pulled out to check the last hotel in Newport.
Summer walked in and the sweet smell of syrup drifted around her. She was jet lagged and weary from looking for Marissa. She could be anywhere by now. Summer sunk into the closest booth and looked out the window, willing Marissa to appear outside.
Then Summer watched the waitress walk over to the only other person in the diner.
"I'll take a large coffee to go and uh… what's good to go?" the girl asked the waitress.
Summer knew that voice and stood to get a better look. When she saw it was Alex, she immediately walked over and sat at the booth with her.
"French toast," Alex stated to the waitress as she watched Summer appear and sit across from her.
"I'll have just coffee," Summer stated, "To go."
The waitress nodded and walked off.
"So you know?" Summer asked Alex.
"Know what?" Alex asked back. The brunette was leaning forward almost halfway across the table and Alex marveled at Summer's ability to be tiny and still make Alex feel intimidated.
"That Marissa's gone," Summer stated simply, like Alex should know.
"Aren't you supposed to be in Switzerland?" Alex asked suddenly wondering if Marissa made everything up just to be able to crash at her place.
The smaller girl raised an eyebrow, "No. I was in Spain."
"Yeah, Spain whatever," Alex shrugged as her coffee arrived. She started adding cream and sugar until it tasted just right while Summer looked on in disbelief.
"Why aren't you panicking?" Summer asked, waving her arms around emphatically, "Marissa is missing."
"Marissa is fine," Alex said coolly as the waitress returned with Summer's drink and Alex's food.
Summer studied the blonde before asking, "Is she staying with you?"
"I'm not telling anywhere where she is unless she wants me to," Alex said with enough certainty that Summer knew she wouldn't budge on the subject at all.
She bit her lip for a bit before asking, "Are you two…back… together?"
Alex sighed heavily and took a bite of her food to keep from having to answer immediately. When she swallowed she gulped, "I…we…she…I dunno. I don't think so."
Summer saw the guys pull up outside, "I guess I better call off the search party."
"Good idea," Alex stated and continued to practically inhale her food because she didn't want to be in Newport any longer than she had to.
But instead of going outside, Summer waved the guys in.
Alex rolled her eyes and pushed her plate away dropping a twenty next to hit. "I'll see you around."
"Alex," Summer stood. Her eyes were pleading with the taller blonde, "Please ask Marissa to call me."
"She doesn't really listen to me right now…she doesn't even like to be in the same room as me, but I'll get the message to her," Alex promised in a quiet defeated sort of way.
"Thanks," Summer unexpectedly pulled Alex into a hug, "Take care of her for me."
"Always do," Alex answered before walking out of the diner as the guys walked in.
"Hey Alex!" Seth called after her, "Wanna help look for Marissa?"
Alex put her head down as she briskly walked to Jodie's car, ignoring her scrawny ex.
It took less time to get back to her house than it should have. She sped all the way home and thankfully there were no cops on the road. She practically ran inside and stopped when she saw Serena sitting on the couch.
"Where's Marissa?"
"She's out on the beach," Serena answered, "Why?"
"I need to talk to her," Alex walked to the back door, "Which way?"
"Toward the cliffs," Serena stated, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth as Alex started jogging down the beach.
As she neared the cliffs that Serena earlier referred to, Alex saw a slim figure sitting on a rock near the bottom, holding her knees close. Even from the distance, she could tell Marissa was shivering. The wind that blew between the rocks was cold and unkind.
Trotting the rest of the way over, Alex took off her jacket as she ran and as soon as she got close enough, she dropped it on Marissa's shoulders.
Marissa jumped and looked up. When she saw Alex, she ignored her and looked back at the ocean ramming into the rocks in front of her.
"I…uh…I wanna talk," Alex sat on a large rock next to the one Marissa was sitting on, "But I can wait…if you want."
Marissa wrapped the jacket tighter around herself and looked at the sand under her feet, "Go ahead."
"You were right about it being your life," Alex sighed and ran her hand over the rock under her, "I just…I care about you too much to watch you do that to yourself."
There was a long pause. Marissa was staring, seemingly angrily at the ocean. The scowl on her face didn't go unnoticed by the blonde.
Alex sighed and stood, "That's what I came to say. I guess I'll see you at the house. Oh and I saw Su-" A looked from Marissa cut her off. The only word Alex could think of to describe how Marissa looked at that moment was broken. Maybe shattered.
Marissa looked up at Alex with tear filled eyes. "I don't feel anything. After Trey...and my mom, I can't feel anything. It's just numb and I started to wonder if I'd ever feel again. Then I tried the drugs. And I felt something again, but each time when it ended it'd feel numb all over again. It's terrible. Nothing seems real. Nothing feels real."
Alex bit her lip and listened. She didn't know how she could help Marissa, she just knew that she really wanted to.
"Then you kissed me and I felt something. Then I felt your hands all over my body. Then I was mad at you." Marissa explained, "Then I was scared you'd hate me. Then you left and I felt numb again."
"Why would I hate you?" Alex sat on the same rock Marissa was sitting on, leaving little room between them.
"The…drugs," Marissa stated.
Alex shook her head, "I could never hate you. No matter what you do." Alex rubbed the material of her jeans and then rested her hands on her knees.
Marissa gingerly picked up Alex's hands and ran her thumb over the cuts that were starting to heal. "Why did you do it?"
The blonde knew exactly what Marissa was talking about, "Just the thought of someone trying to do what he tried to do…It was almost unbearable. Then I thought of what you were going through because of him. I couldn't do nothing."
Marissa slowly, laid her head on Alex's shoulder, "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Wary of touching Marissa in the wrong way, Alex just rested her head on Marissa's, "You'd need another headrest."
Marissa chuckled.
A shrill ring broke the ring of serenity surrounding the girls. Alex pulled the phone out of her pocket and saw it was Serena. "Hey," Alex answered.
"Hey," Serena quickly whispered into the phone, "There's a scary, pissed off woman here demanding to see Marissa."
"Who?" Alex asked, sitting up straighter.
"Judy Cooper?" Serena didn't sound so sure, "She banged on the door demanding to see Marissa."
"Julie?" Alex asked in disbelief, "She must have followed me."
"Well would you like to come deal with her," Serena ordered more than asked.
"I'll be right there," Alex saw that Marissa was starting to drift to sleep. She hung up the phone and turned to the girl laying on her shoulder. "Your mom is here."
That snapped Marissa into the waking world, "What? Why?"
"I guess she followed me," Alex sighed, "I went back to Newport to make sure Trey was really gone." Alex looked at the expectant eyes of her ex and sort of girlfriend. "He's gone."
Marissa seemed to relax a bit before remembering her mother was waiting for them at the house. "Let's get this over with. She's probably scared Serena half to death. No one should be left alone with your mother."
Marissa slid her arms into the sleeves of the jacket Alex put on her and stood. Alex shoved her hands in her pockets as soon as she was up and followed Marissa away from the cliff.
"We still have a lot to talk about," Marissa added as the house came into view.
Alex nodded.
Once at the porch, Marissa turned around after taking one step up, "Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"
"Of course," Alex nodded, "As long as you want."
Marissa nodded looking at the sand then moving her eyes to the blonde. She was looking down at Alex because of the step she was standing on. She took a step down and slid her arms around Alex's middle, her head making it's way to her shoulder. Alex was stunned for a beat before wrapping her arms around Marissa.
"Are you okay?" Alex whispered into Marissa's hair.
"I'm getting there," Marissa immediately answered. She pulled away a little and softly brushed her lips against Alex's. The kiss only lasted a few seconds because they both knew they still had something to talk about after Julie left.
Marissa closed her eyes as her forehead pressed against Alex's. "Will you stay with me? While my mom is here?"
"Of course," Alex said with more confidence than she actually had when dealing with the eldest Cooper.
Marissa moved so that her cheek was pressing against Alex's. Her words came out like a lazy stream, flowing easily out of her mouth, "I can feel your heart beating."
The blonde smiled and kissed the side of Marissa's head, taking in both the literal and metaphorical meaning of that sentence.
With one last, soft, short kiss, Marissa led the way into the living room where Julie was sitting with Serena, arms crossed.
"Marissa!" she exclaimed when she saw her daughter. She stood up and rounded the couch to her daughter who just looked at her.
"What?" Marissa asked.
Julie sighed and looked at the fabric of her dress, "I may have been wrong in throwing you out. But in all honestly I though Summer was in town and you were going to stay with her. Not….here."
"There's nothing wrong with here," Marissa defended the house like it was her own, "This is where I live because if you forgot, you kicked me out."
Serena shot a panicked looked to Alex who just shrugged. She knew Marissa could hold her own against Julie. They were just there if things got out of hand.
"I'm sorry," Julie barely choked out, "I want you to come back."
Marissa gulped and looked at Alex who knew all she could do was support whatever decision Marissa made. The brunette looked back at her mother, "Interesting idea mom. I'll give that some thought."
It took all Alex had not to burst out laughing. Not only at the line Marissa delivered with a straight face, but for the perplexed look on Julie's face.
"Well," Julie pulled Marissa into her arms, "I can't force you to stay, but if you ever do want to come back the door is open."
"Thanks mom," Marissa sighed into her mom's shoulder.
Julie reluctantly pulled away, "I love you."
"Love you too," Marissa mumbled.
The matriarch looked over at Alex, "Take care of her for me."
"She always does," Marissa answered for Alex. She glanced back at Alex with a small smile.
They said their goodbyes and Julie begrudgingly left, but promised to return with new curtains, vases, and candles.
"I could sleep for days," Alex leaned again the wall in the kitchen.
Marissa nodded, "Let's go get on that."
"Wait," Alex reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, "Summer wants to talk to you."
"Okay," she lightly took the phone from Alex and quickly dialed Summer's number.
"Hey Sum," Marissa said.
Alex laughed when she could hear Summer yelling through the phone.
"Can Summer come over tomorrow?" Marissa asked Alex.
The blonde just shrugged, "It doesn't matter to me. I'll be asleep."
"I'll give you directions tomorrow," Marissa assured Summer, "Yeah Summer. Yes Summer…okay. Bye." She snapped the phone shut and leaned back on the counter.
"Bed?" Alex asked.
Marissa nodded, "Carry me?"
After a short laugh, Alex nodded and turned around. Marissa hopped onto her back and adjusted herself so that her head was on Alex's shoulder.
Once in the bedroom they both fell on the bed completely exhausted.
"Weren't we supposed to have another talk?" Marissa asked in the dark.
Alex closed her eyes, "Yeah."
"So?" Marissa waited on Alex to say something.
The blue eyes bore into Marissa's green eyes and she felt like anything Alex ever needed to tell her, she could say just by looking at her.
"Alex?" Marissa asked.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry about the bonfire."
"No need to apologize. The past is the past."
There was silence for a few more seconds then Marissa went on. "Alex?"
"Hmm?"
"I missed you."
"I missed you too Riss." Marissa felt some soft lips on her own and too the opportunity to rest her hand on Alex's hip.
"Alex?" Marissa asked again into the dark.
"Yes dear?"
Marissa giggled into the night, "Will you go on a date with me tomorrow?"
"Of course."
"So there's another chance for us?" Marissa asked insecurely.
"Definitely," Alex pulled Marissa close to her, "Now go to sleep. You have a dazzling date to plan tomorrow."
Marissa smiled, "It'll rock your world."
Alex couldn't stop a smile, "Oh really?"
"Yup," Marissa answered, running her hand under Alex's shirt careful not to push down too hard because the blonde still had bruises. She snuggled into Alex more and chastely kissed her neck.
"Goodnight Alex."
"Goodnight Riss."