Okay… This one is a filler chapter. Filler, filler, filler, and nothing but.
Did I happen to mention Filler?
Plus, this chapter is paced oddly. (ducks flying fruit) And Vaan is still not cooperating. In fact, he went all "bodice ripper consumptive maiden" on me. And if I could possibly warn you of too much, (unlikely at this point) Balthier belongs less in an adventure fic and more in something pulpy and published under some drivel spouting harlequin pen name.
There is also much appearance of a bowl with water in it. I just couldn't get the darn thing to go someplace else!!!
Penelo gets a bit of hers back. And well, there is more ambiguity, still no answers. (And just so you know how restrained I'm being...My daughter and I wanted to name Balthier's brother "Gheazus Cryst Bunansa" pronounced surprisingly rather like "Jesus Christ Bunansa". Only we decided that in order to take him seriously, we'd better not.)
Ahahahahahahaaa!
Disclaimer: You know the drill, still not mine. See, they have clothes on. ;p
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Ark of the Nethirym
Chapter IV
Being old fashioned about some things meant occasionally owning a certain happy practicality. Until now, it had never occurred to Penelo that the privileged classes might lack that same practicality, simply because they were privileged. And never before had the difference between her upbringing and Balthier's seemed so obvious as when none of the potions had any effect on Vaan's fever.
Magical palliatives weren't a recourse either. Firstly, Vaan wasn't ill, he was possessed. So no Cleanse spell would probably work. Secondly, before leaving to pilot the Strahl back to Archades, Fran reminded Balthier there could be dire consequences if any magick was used upon Vaan while the Nethirym inhabited him.
That apparently left Balthier somewhat stumped. It was only too obvious that Vaan was suffering, but in the lavish world of fugitive noblemen cum daring sky pirates; no potions, no magicks, no solution. Penelo was left to conclude that going from youthful aristocrat to airborne privateer hadn't necessarily afforded Balthier a lot of concrete experience making do with less than formal remedies.
On the other hand, despite becoming rather used these days to applying potions or magick to cure an ill, Penelo had grown up relatively ignorant of most white magic. In her youth, she'd been accustomed to using other methods, and they did help. So Penelo immediately set to making do with what mundane items she had on hand.
"Here, Balthier," she said, handing a wet hand towel to him. "Lay this on his head," She noticed the incredulous glance he gave her. "Trust me, it helps."
He took the proffered towel. "Primitive," Balthier opined skeptically.
"Effective," Penelo countered with assurance she had rarely ever felt in the face of the elder pirate's superior experience. However, she was grown up now, not like the last time they'd seen each other. And taking care of people--especially Vaan--was where she excelled.
It wasn't Balthier's forte.
Not yet, anyway, she thought as she watched him arrange the cloth on Vaan's brow, tweaking it several times until it achieved some criteria only the sky pirate himself could name. She quickly covered her smile. It wouldn't do for Balthier to realize his fixations were so amusing.
Penelo retrieved the bowl she'd prepared and set it by the bed. "This is just chilled water, with spirits." She took a moment to observe Vaan, satisfied that he must be getting at least some relief. He was finally settled. "When the cloth gets warm again, cool it here and replace it. If you feel particularly adventurous…" she grinned cheekily. "You can use it to bathe him a bit, like so," and she demonstrated, sweeping the cool cloth lower, along Vaan's chest and belly. "But don't go overboard and let him get chilled."
Penelo was rewarded with Balthier's glare. If the situation hadn't been what it was, she really would have enjoyed teasing him. As it was, someone had to stay with Vaan, and someone had to fly them to the capitol. Penelo had already informed Balthier he wasn't flying Vaan's ship. He just wasn't. Not while she was able.
At least, that's what she'd told him.
Truth be known, Penelo was horrified by the creature within Vaan. She felt dreadfully guilty about it. It was clear that whatever the Nethirym's ultimate goal, in the meantime it was wreaking havoc on her best friend. She took another glimpse at Vaan, brushing an errant lock of sweat damp hair from his cheek. He looked pitiful...beyond harmless. But Penelo feared it only meant the creature was lurking, just waiting for a chance to awaken again.
The thought of being alone with it when it did, terrified her.
Of the two of them, Balthier seemed to have handled the situation on the bridge better, facing the Nethirym with his legendary aplomb. So Penelo would let him. "Once I take off, we'll be in Archades in a few hours," she offered, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
Balthier arched a brow but refrained from remarking that he knew better than most exactly how long the trip took, while Penelo stood there wringing her hands. Balthier wrote off her anxiety as mere worry, and patted her arm. "We'll sort this out, Penelo. Once we land, Larsa has specialists who can help with this."
Ashamed but resigned to leaving Balthier behind with Vaan was one thing. The man had all the nurturing skills of a rabid cactoid, but she knew him...at least she had. However, Penelo most certainly wasn't leaving Vaan in the hands of strangers--especially any of the scientific ilk. "I'm not sure I want any Archadian specialists anywhere around Vaan," Penelo said crossly. Besides which, Balthier still knew far more than he was sharing, and Penelo was growing more suspicious by the minute. "You still haven't explained any of this, and I'm getting tired of you dodging me." She looked down on Vaan, so still and unlike himself. Vaan had always been motion in her world, the ever active axis she centered herself by. The stillness just wasn't...right.
Her temper flared. "He's sick, Balthier! And you won't tell me anything!"
Balthier attributed his own unusually short temper to the stiflingly small infirmary. Cramped spaces always made robbed him of composure. So he took a deep breath, reminding himself that the girl had been through a great deal very recently. "This requires a special..."
Penelo cut him off. "He can't protect himself right now. As his partner, as his best friend, that falls to me." And you weren't here to help him when he needed you, she thought sourly.
"And who, my dear, is going to protect you," he demanded with a forced reserve. Balthier was getting rather tired of shortsighted children going off half-cocked and ruining his plans. Not that he was following a particularly tight script at the moment. Still, the least she could do was defer to his greater wisdom.
"Balthier, I want answers. I want to know what's going on. And I want to know now!" Penelo felt like she'd come apart at the seams if answers didn't materialize soon. Half her fears were born in the impotency of not knowing, not understanding what was happening to them--to him. It was mean-spirited for Balthier to hold that information back any longer. He wouldn't be allowed to sit here, in her and Vaan's home, and continue to hurt them, even by omission. She'd leave him stranded on the Steppe first.
The stubborn set to her chin, the fiery stare... Perhaps it was time Balthier rationed out a bit more information. He'd promised, after all. "I think once you've been caught up you'll realize that Fran and me being incommunicado for so long was--though unfortunate--very necessary all the same."
"And I disagree. You hurt him, and I've had to sit by and watch it the whole way. So don't tell me this was unfortunate." Penelo crossed her arms and scowled a challenge. Given what she and Vaan had been through to find him and Fran--given what Vaan was still going through right now, she didn't know that any justification would ever be enough.
"Fair enough," Balthier tapped his chin, thoughtfully. "Then I'll start by saying that I find Archadian politics as noisome and distasteful as ever--but I'm no fool. I'll be the first to owe that being a sky pirate is easier without having the added challenge of dodging a civil conflict--since war profiteering isn't my style. And thanks to our last adventure together, lucrative quests in service to the 'right' cause have become my stock in trade, or so everyone seems to think. I can't begin to tell you how inconvenient that is." He paused watching the girl for a moment.
Penelo stared at him, frowning expectantly. "And I should care about that why?"
Balthier shook his head ruefully. "Patience Penelo. A good tale is worth the time it takes to tell it. Larsa approached us with a request--Fran and I agreed to help. For old times sake, of course. We've been busy unraveling a potential plot against the Emperor, possibly involving my family. It may well mean civil war in Archadia if we fail."
"Civil war!" Penelo gasped. "Larsa..."
"Indeed. You see my quandary, then. I couldn't very well leave the boy to the wolves--even with our stalwart Basch guarding him so carefully." Balthier let the girl absorb all of that for a moment, noting that Vaan was once more stirring restlessly. He wrung out the cloth and followed Penelo's directions--awkwardly at first, oddly disturbed that such an intimate touch was so easily turned to clinical purposes. Though Balthier was amazed when after a few moments it actually seemed to calm the youth once again. Whenever Balthier had a fever, he simply took a potion or used magic--followed by a generous cup of vintage serpentwyne, of course. Everything worked better when aided by expensive potables. This roundabout charlatanism Penelo had him performing wasn't anything he'd ever given serious thought to. Not that Balthier found it necessarily unpleasant, taking care of Vaan in this fashion. Not precisely. It was more that he'd rather have just mended things the way he was accustomed to. The expedient way. The proper way. He'd rather not just sit there with nothing but a cold rag, letting Vaan boil away in his own sweat. He just didn't have any choice in the matter, for the moment.
"Balthier," Penelo asked at length, having waited, watching while he tended Vaan. It seemed the sky pirate was able after all. "You mentioned your family..." Balthier eyed her askance and she couldn't blame him. If only she had a tactful way to proceed. "I... I thought you were the only one left after, well… uhm... Ridorana." Penelo still remembered how Balthier had been, right after Cidolfus had fallen--and she simply didn't know how to delicately step around his loss.
As it turned out, she needn't have been concerned. Balthier let out a noise that wasn't quite a laugh. "The only Bunansa left? Goodness, no! I have cousins aplenty and an older brother to boot."
Penelo snapped her jaw shut, aware suddenly that it was hanging open. "You... You have an older brother?"
Balthier couldn't help but smirk. "Indeed. I had two, once upon a time. The eldest fell long ago when I was barely more than a boy--during a skirmish with Rossarian forces."
Penelo was aghast at his seeming indifference, that much was obvious to Balthier. He didn't bother explaining that he came from a different world--one where brothers weren't sacred, they were competition. Nothing short of roadblocks to navigate in the pursuit of attaining goals, and sometimes roadblocks to survival at all. Heirs to Noble Houses were infant sharks, consuming each other at the merest sign of weakness, until only the strongest remained. Even Larsa knew that now. Balthier could barely remember a time when he'd regarded either of his brothers as Vaan still regarded Reks. "My remaining sibling is Judge Cirahzeo Dremhen Bunansa, Commander of the Dreadnought class Ramuh, flagship of the 10th fleet. He holds all my father's titles and estates now, a fine upstanding example of Archadian Nobility." Balthier shook his head, smirking. "I assure you, Penelo--my father's passing left me no titled responsibilities I didn't embrace while he lived."
What Balthier didn't volunteer was what Cidolfus' passing had left him with--a rather nagging sense of accountability for his father's part in the last war. So it hadn't been hard to coax him into involvement in Larsa's difficulty. Especially since Larsa was craftier with words than most men three times his age. "However, titles or not, Our young Emperor knew the words to gain my service. He isn't anything if not savvy at exploiting people's vulnerabilities. Give him a few years and he'll be twice the agile plotter his brothers ever were."
"Balthier!"
"Don't look so affronted, my dear," Balthier stretched lazily back, locking his fingers behind his head. "You've obviously forgotten how easily Lamont fell into traveling with us."
Penelo didn't know what to say to that. They'd all had first hand experience with how artful Larsa could be. 'Tactical genius' was too mild a term. "He won't put it to bad use," she asserted softly, hating Balthier for the seed of doubt he'd planted so well. She wanted to trust Larsa implicitly. She needed to. But now...
"I think the lad has a good nature, for the most part," Balthier offered at length. Then he shrugged. "But never forget, he's a Solidor. They all believe what they do is for the higher good. Even Vayne thought he was doing something great for all of Ivalice." Balthier took little satisfaction in watching his words sink in. The girl was still remarkably naive, something he was always torn about remedying in others. In this case though, naivety could be an impediment to survival later on--for her and for Vaan. "Put those you hold dear on the lea side of your trust, Penelo. Very few are worthy of your faith in them."
Penelo chewed over Balthier's warning, wondering if he considered himself one of those who was. The sky pirate himself had always acted with a nobleman's sense of entitlement, even having professed leaving that life. Penelo sighed. She wasn't ready to tackle any of this, certainly not the idea that a young Vayne Carudas Solidor might not have been very different from Larsa. "I'm almost tempted to boot you off the ship and set wing away from both you and Larsa. This is all too..." She took a deep breath and met Balthier's eye. "We've found you now. He knows you're safe. It might have to be enough."
"I wouldn't do that, if I were you. And I think you know why." Balthier said in a grave, dangerous tone, eyeing Penelo speculatively and gesturing to Vaan's sleeping form with a subtle tilt of his head.
"We have safe places to hide too, you know. If I can't trust you, I don't need you," Penelo asserted grimly. "I'll find another way to help him." She didn't know anything useful at all about the Nethirym. But someone other than Balthier and Larsa's scientists did. "Unless you tell me what was so important that you had to hurt Vaan... Unless you tell me what's going on, I'll be contacting Fran to pick you up. And then I'll be finding our informant. He knows what he sent us after. If I can't get answers from you, I'll get them another way."
Balthier's jaw twitched in irritation. But he mastered it. Right now one of them needed to be sensible. "Isn't that where Vaan made his mistake, going to desperate lengths to find answers?"
She hadn't wanted it to turn out this way, but a solid core of cold fury was building none the less. "If the people we trusted hadn't been lying to us all along, he wouldn't have been desperate!" And there it was, the bare truth amid all the unanswered questions. "There wasn't any reliable news of you, so it's obvious now. Larsa lied to us..."
Balthier knew Penelo wanted him to deny it, he could hear it in her voice--a tiny falter of need. Not that he could oblige her. "You need to accept you're dealing with stakes far higher than a few hurt feelings," If the damn girl would just maintain some objectivity for five minutes, Balthier thought tiredly.
"A few hurt feelings! Have you looked in that bed? Really looked!" Penelo gestured violently behind Balthier to where Vaan lay. She paced the infirmary for a moment, trying to reign in her anger. How could she have forgotten what an arrogant ass Balthier could be!
"That's my point, Penelo." Balthier met her eyes, when she finally stood before him again--his voice held a quiet sort of finality. "You can't afford to keep making snap decisions."
That stopped her short, as did the oddly earnest look Balthier was surveying her with. "Did you work for him that first year...after the Bahamut?" Penelo whispered.
Balthier paused at the digression. "Yes or no, Balthier," she urged him.
It took a moment while he thought of how he wanted to answer. There were some things he couldn't yet reveal. "Yes, and no," he offered at length.
Penelo gave the ceiling a long-suffering look and folded her arms, sighing crossly. "Maybe more to the point was did he tell you to hide from us that first year?" She didn't want to know, it wasn't anything she'd ever dreamed needed asking. But she couldn't afford not to ask any longer.
"No." Balthier offered without elaboration. This wasn't meant to be easy, he told himself.
Penelo sighed in relief. Things between her and Larsa maybe weren't completely unsalvageable then. "So why did..."
"At first it was my own choice. I was waiting to see what Vaan would make of himself--out from under my shadow." Balthier held up a hand to forestall the girl's arguments. "Fran already agrees with you, I've heard it all. Only, about the time I was actually listening, we were needed. It was then we came and claimed the Strahl. That was also when it was decided that both of you would be left out of this mess."
"Nice work, that." Penelo observed dryly.
"Penelo..." Though Balthier had to admit, he deserved that. And worse yet, if the truth were known.
"What exactly did he ask of you?" Penelo asked.
Balthier shook his head and smiled. The girl was dogged as a bloodhound. "Several things. At first I helped with a little... hmm... Shall we call it information brokerage?"
"You spied for him." Penelo wasn't surprised. Contacts were a specialty of sky piracy, after all.
"That would be one way to put it. A crude way, but a way none-the-less. I was also searching for something he'd set us to find." Balthier waited for the question he knew came next. The girl had some mother wit after all, even if it wasn't enough to stay out of trouble.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Penelo asked quietly.
Balthier watched the girl's face for some sign that she had an inkling of what she was asking. "No... I didn't find it. Not until it was...too late." Balthier made an impatient gesture. "Along the way, he had me keeping tabs on Vaan and you both. A task you made none too easy by hyeing off to every nook and cranny of the continents."
Penelo just stared numbly for a moment, her vision almost going red. "He... He had you watching us?" Not only had Larsa lied to them, he'd had the very people they were so desperately seeking, spying on them! She recalled how receptive he'd been to her panicked call earlier that day… how Balthier had been right there with him, just like he'd known.
He had known!
There was a loud snap in the air and before Penelo realized what was happening, her right hand was on the wrong side of her body, stinging sharply. A moment later she was more aghast that she hadn't known she was about to strike Balthier, than that she'd actually done it.
Given a moment more, she might just do it again.
Balthier, for his part, rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, impressed that his lip was actually split. He ran his tongue experimentally along the inside, tasting blood. "I was wondering when that was coming. I owe Fran 2000 Gil." He casually eyed the girl, standing there clenching her fists at her side, eyes brimming with fury, unable to even speak. "Before she left, she bet me I wouldn't make it to Archades without provoking you to violence." Balthier pulled out another handkerchief and dabbed his lip, amused. He watched her carefully though, until Penelo turned and marched out of the infirmary.
She stomped all the way to the bridge. It wasn't until the Galbana had been in flight nearly half an hour that she was calm enough to realize she never did get any real answers.
Balthier was a dodgy prat.
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The moment the girl was gone, Balthier mended his lip with a whispered spell--immediately cursing himself for letting vanity overcome common sense. It didn't occur to him until too late that the quiescent Nethirym might react as unpredictably to the proximity of magic as it would to actually using it on the boy. He just didn't know enough yet to risk it.
And yet, risk it he had.
He tucked away the bloody handkerchief and leaned in, scrutinizing Vaan's face. He watched for a moment, trying to detect any hint of change, but nothing appeared different. Thick, sweat-clumped lashes laid darkly against fever flushed skin. Dry lips parted slightly, exchanging quick, shallow breaths--the body's attempt at fighting the unnatural heat.
Relieved he hadn't stirred the creature within the boy, Balthier patted Vaan's damp head reassuringly--though which of them needed the comfort more, he couldn't say.
Balthier left his hand lingering in place, and eventually trailed it down along a cheek. He was searching closely again, for another reason this time. It was the first opportunity he'd had to really see Vaan--without an audience hanging over him.
He knew it was being self-indulgent, but who would ever know? Balthier's gaze followed his fingers, delicately tracing the line of Vaan's face. The younger pirate was still hauntingly unchanged in many ways--despite the Nethirym's influence. Though Balthier noted, with a satisfaction bordering on pride, that there was less roundness to the comely features. The last of a child's face, the first of a man's.
In line with Balthier's expectations, the almost lovely boy Vaan had been was on the verge of strikingly handsome manhood. A face that would draw countless flocking to him, greedy to claim that beauty. And yet somehow the youth had remained untouched so far. "Gah!" Balthier growled disgustedly to himself. "Less than a day back in your presence and I already sound like some lovesick moogle." That didn't stop Balthier though. He continued to fondly study the younger man.
Eventually Vaan grew restless again, his face creasing in discomfort. Balthier sighed, wondering how long this could even last. "Fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Vaan," he groused quietly. "If the thrice-damned Nethirym doesn't become a more amenable passenger, you're going to burn up before we ever get it out of you,"
When Vaan didn't settle immediately, Balthier stripped the thin coverlet back and began bathing him to his waist. It was a battle, ignoring the urge to draw the blanket a few inches lower. Vaan would never know. Of course, Balthier would go to his grave never so desperate or pathetic that he'd ogle an ailing, unconscious man. Not even Vaan. There would be time for that when all was resolved--when the Nethirym was destroyed, when Vaan was safely himself again. Then he'd take care of that pesky issue of the boy's virginity.
It was several minutes before Vaan subsided. By then Balthier thoughts had turned to brooding. Fran would've used harsh words if she knew he was indulging in defeatist thinking, especially this early in the game. However, it'd been mere hours since Balthier first spoke with Penelo from Larsa's private chambers, and yet it felt like days. Too much happening in too short a time. It didn't bode well for saving Vaan, or stopping whomever it was that wanted to use Cidolfus' pre-Giruvegan work to tear Archadia wide open.
Cidolfus…you old bastard. Is this some convoluted plan of yours? Did you need to steal from me so badly you'd do it from the grave?
Balthier had been cursing the boy for getting past his defenses only just that very day. Now he was cursing his father's name, and wondering if he would ever be free of the Bunansa Patriarch's machinations. The Galbana would port in the capitol soon, and then what? Balthier hadn't been completely honest with Penelo, not by half. They didn't really have a plan, at this point. They were punting, so to speak.
It had taken them too long to assemble the intelligence, too long to reason out what their enemy was searching for. Once mobilized, the whole goal had been to either secure or destroy the creature before it could be used. But they'd come to it woefully late. And neither he nor any of Larsa's spy network had anticipated that the opposition would use Vaan, of all people, to do their work for them. Not until it was too late to do more than hope for the best.
Balthier snorted derisively. He'd been a fool for underestimating Vaan and his unerring ability to find trouble. Of all the times for the irrepressible brat to be one step ahead of him.
Their enemy was good and slippery. Vaan and Penelo had been led into a trap without even realizing it was the ancient Temple of Glabados they'd gone to. And now the Nethirym was awake and within a host. But how did that tie into the plot against Larsa? Someone out there had specifically wanted Vaan to find the ancient cache, before Balthier and Fran did. And to his great remorse, Vaan had done just that.
But to what end? Balthier shook his head. They had a ball full of knotted yarns, and no way to untangle them.
With his father's work at play, it was altogether possible that Vaan had been chosen to host the creature as a way to strike at Balthier. But then that required their enemy to be conversant on his desires for the boy. And Balthier was sure it was his secret alone. Well, his and Fran's. No Vaan had been chosen for another reason...perhaps because of his closeness to the Emperor.
Now that bore more thinking upon.
Looking down on the youth, contemplating everything going to hell--Balthier felt very old. But then he'd always known, nothing made you age like giving a damn. Yet another reason to avoid attachments whenever possible.
Balthier stretched out beside the sleeping youth, trying to clear his mind of the nagging sense he was missing something important right in front of him. But gaining peace was difficult at best. The close quarters left him feeling smothered. Combined with the disconcerting knot of helplessness coiling in his gut--something Balthier struggled to cope with at the best of times--the oppressive size of the room left him more than on edge. Fran, over the years, had tried convincing him he suffered from claustrophobia. It was times like these when he was tempted to believe her.
Balthier was about to step into the hallway for air, when he froze, sensing eyes upon him.
He looked to Vaan, and amber met gray for the second time that afternoon. Just as before, an immeasurable weight lifted from Balthier's chest upon seeing Vaan's exhausted gaze free of the Nethirym's influence. He leaned up on his elbow and smirked provocatively. "Hello again," Balthier offered in a sultry tone, leaning in low. "I'll have you know, this isn't at all how I imagined our first time in bed together."
"Balthier?" Vaan whispered hoarsely, so completely lost he didn't know what to think. What's Balthier doing here? Vaan felt a chill crawl across his chest and looked down, realizing suddenly that he was naked except for a thin coverlet. There he was, in bed...naked...with Balthier of all people. Vaan threw an arm up, covering the ruby flush he knew was overtaking his face. He'd had this dream before. It ended weird. Maybe if he just went back to sleep...
Balthier thought the stark blush was adorable, cute even. He smiled to himself, knowing the youth he'd seen slice down countless beasts in the past wouldn't thank him for such a compromising observation.
However, that didn't make it untrue.
Blinking owlishly from under his arm, Vaan was still trying to take stock. Outrageously suggestive remarks aside, he really had no idea why Balthier was in bed with him. He grabbed the edge of the coverlet, drawing it higher as his glance flitted beyond the sky pirate's shoulder. Vaan searched for anyone else in the room, only to find he was alone with the one person in all of Ivalice he wasn't prepared to see. Certainly not while he was, well, naked... In bed!
And how had he gotten naked? Surely Balthier hadn't taken off his clothes! Vaan lay there aghast, unsure of how he'd ended up in this odd predicament and sadly, even less sure what he should do about it.
Quiet reigned for several minutes, while Vaan chased the scattered fragments of his thoughts. It wasn't really working. Having Balthier shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip might have addled him even on a good day--which this obviously wasn't.
Balthier watched Vaan's face, amused. "Confused a bit?" he cocked a brow at the boy, perversely enjoying the moment. However, Balthier's pesky conscience was soon complaining at him, so after a mere few seconds more of Vaan gaping at him, he took pity on his former apprentice and sat up. "I'm sure it will pass," he added companionably, putting a few vital inches between them.
Vaan gave up trying to figure anything out. Chills crawled across his skin one moment, only to be chased away by aching heat the next. What the hell, he wondered? Vaan squirmed around a bit, noting with confusion that his limbs felt watery and weak--like he'd run too long in the desert without rest. And Balthier, he was still watching Vaan with that look... The one that used to make Vaan's stomach quiver all those years ago. Compounding the issue was two years worth of sublimated anger and worry and hurt, roiling around in Vaan's mind, scrabbling to be let out. Vaan wasn't ready to deal with any of it. He didn't know where to even begin.
Watching the battle play out across the youth's haggard features, Balthier took pity, deciding to put an end to the struggle. Vaan was less fit to address that which lay between them than he had been an hour ago on the bridge. There would simply have to be time for this later. As Vaan was struggling upright, Balthier firmly pressed him back into the pillows. Long fingers pressed over dry lips--stilling them just as the younger man was about to protest. "We have much to discuss," Balthier said earnestly. "But it will wait." He took in Vaan's startled expression, and reluctantly withdrew again. "Besides," he continued. "I'll have you know--Penelo already split my lip, for you no doubt. I should have let you see it before I healed it. She did a sound job of it."
Vaan's expression morphed into something truly incredulous, making it hard for Balthier not to laugh. "Honestly, the girl's learned to strike much harder since last I saw you both. If she'd have been able to do that two years ago, she might have been more useful."
It was impossible to do anything but snort out a dry laugh. The thought of Penelo belting Balthier a good one was priceless. She hated violence, generally. But she had a scary streak five fathoms wide and Vaan had no trouble imagining her hitting the smug elder pirate.
Balthier sat next to him, silent, a meager smirk on his lips. A look Vaan remembered so well it made his chest ache. He closed his eyes for a while, resting, searching for his stolen reserves. He drifted some, and might have fallen back asleep except that he could feel Balthier's gaze on him as he lay there.
"Can I get you anything?" Balthier asked at length.
Vaan didn't open his eyes, he just shook his head. Truth was, he was desperately thirsty. But this was all still too odd and he didn't know what he'd do if he couldn't hold the glass and Balthier had to help him. Vaan couldn't deny that underneath the hurt and anger, there were other things lurking. Things Vaan barely had a name for. Things he wasn't ready for yet, but didn't dare deny--having seen them reflected in Balthier's eyes. And though it was clear to Vaan that Balthier was trying hard to make it easier for them to behave normally together, it wasn't easy. In between them, bitter months had turned to years, with no word or news to soften the twisting ache of distance.
Just as Balthier had said, it would have to wait. Vaan frowned as he shoved the door closed on the flood of emotions. Balthier was there beside him. Right there... He refused to do anything more than just enjoy that fact for a bit. Penelo always had said his generous nature made it easy for him to forgive--nature's balance to his short temper. So for now, Vaan wanted to forgive. Tomorrow he would be angry, today he was too relieved.
There were things lurking though, that Vaan knew instinctively couldn't be left for another time. "Balthier, what happened on the bridge, yesterday?" His memory was full of holes, and the disjointed events on the bridge seemed an important place to start.
"Yesterday? Vaan, that was little more than an hour ago." Balthier frowned, worriedly.
Vaan cocked an eye, surprized. "Really?" His sense of time was shot to hell. "It's all very...mixed up," Vaan wanted to say more, but nothing came. The room went abruptly cold again and he shuddered as a strong chill passed through him.
Balthier watched Vaan shiver, seeing the goose-flesh rise on his arms, and pulled up the coverlet higher still, tucking it under the boy's chin. But when he touched the sweat slick cheek again, the sky pirate was shocked at how much hotter Vaan had become, even from what he was before. Penelo's description of an earlier encounter raised an alarm within him. "Vaan..."
Vaan snuck an arm out from under the cover and brought his hand to head, grinding the heel of his hand into his temple. It was starting to pound in earnest. The room was tilting and yet he wasn't even moving. "Balthier... What's happening?" Darkness was eating at the edges of his vision. Something was very, very wrong.
If Balthier answered him, Vaan didn't hear it. His heart leapt in his chest, banging against his ribs as a wave of something indescribable washed through his thoughts. Vaan began remembering...a lot. The stifling darkness, the insidious, hungry presence, the terrifying sensation of being trapped in his own mind. He was overcome with a deep revulsion. There was absolutely no giving into that again, not without a fight! But already Vaan's world was narrowing to a pinpoint of grayed out colors and a pulsing ache in the back of his skull he was fast learning to dread. He struggled against the inky presence picking away at his consciousness, thrashing against the internal assailant.
Through the darkness overtaking him Vaan dimly heard Balthier commanding him to do something. He could feel the older pirate fumbling for his hands, squeezing them hard enough to hurt. It was an oddly anchoring sensation, detached as it was. And just as Vaan was afraid his grasp on awareness was slipping, the presence began to lose ground. Moments stretched on like eternity and Vaan eventually broke it's hold. With one last scrabbling growl so loud to Vaan's mind he wondered if Balthier could hear it, the creature receded.
It was several minutes before Vaan knew for sure he could let his guard down. He didn't know why the thing was gone, and didn't care. Laying there panting and gasping for air, he was too wrung out to be anything but grateful. "I…I won, this time," Vaan gasped, sporting a faint, but triumphant smile.
"I see that," Balthier said softly, his own voice heavy and rough with too many emotions to name. Then he realized Vaan was pinned beneath him, arms pulled high. Balthier laid there atop the boy a moment longer, catching his breath before releasing Vaan. His grip had left behind marks on hands and wrists. In short order those would bruise.
Scooting to the edge of the small mattress, as much for himself as for Vaan, Balthier relished the distance. He sat there, gathering his shattered composure, chastising his confused hormones. The last thing either of them needed at this point was his inappropriate response to adrenaline, fear and touching bodies.
Balthier didn't take long to collect himself. One look at the younger pirate had him rooting around in the linens for the misplaced cloth, hating how utterly spent Vaan seemed. Balthier wiped cold sweat from the pale face, his hands still trembling slightly. Long ago, he'd observed Penelo trying and failing to cosset Vaan. He knew only too well how much the youth hated being fussed over. It was a testament to exhaustion that the wilted blond didn't bother to even look up at first, simply laying there as Balthier tended him. Tossing the cloth into the bowl, the sky pirate clenched his fists, waiting for the adrenaline to finish subsiding. A dozen things were going through his head, most of them less than positive. But even so, a small part of him still wanted to crow. Vaan had won. The damnably stubborn little chit had beaten the Nethirym back. The question was, how. And could he continue to? "Choosing its battles, was it," Balthier said at length. Any chance at nonchalance was thwarted by the subtle waver in his voice.
"Yeah… I guess," Vaan huffed, wishing he had the strength to reassure Balthier. In his opinion, a little bravado would go a long way at the moment. "If…if that thing feels half as trashed as I do…no wonder," his laugh was reedy, but it felt good. It felt a little like winning.
Balthier frowned. "I'm afraid we can't do much about that as yet, Vaan." He patted the younger man's shoulder. "But hopefully soon. In the mean time, rest." Balthier gently skimmed fingers over Vaan's brow, coming to rest there for an instant before sliding down to hover over a fluttering artery along his neck. Despite what he found, Balthier almost chuckled. He could tell from the squeak Vaan let escape, the youth had misinterpreted the touch. Vaan's pallor was temporarily livened with an impressive blush once again, and Balthier found the sheer absurdity of the moment pitifully comical. Of all the times for Vaan to confuse his motives... "Relax," he grinned a little rakishly, for effect. "I was just checking a thing or two."
Vaan nodded, unable to care what Balthier was up to for long. In fact, he was suddenly finding it hard just to keep his eyes open. He closed them for a moment, meditating on the feel of the Galbana's glossair engines. It was the first time Vaan had been able to take a moment to listen to his ship. His brow furrowed as the moments passed by. No mistake, the Galbana was whining slightly, as though her wing lifts were tilted slightly off-angle a degree of two. It probably wasn't something anyone but him would notice. After a few more minutes of listening, it made his teeth itch. "Balthier," he called breathlessly, cracking his eyes open. "Who's flying my ship?"
"Penelo, of course," Balthier answered as he ran the cooling cloth over Vaan's chest once again. "Why?"
"Can't you hear that?" he groaned, shoving Balthier's hand away and trying halfheartedly to push up.
Balthier stopped Vaan easily enough and then tilted his head, taking a hard listen for himself. The engines were different than the Strahl's, higher in pitch. Still, he thought he might be hearing something that sounded slightly off. He couldn't be sure though, since this was his first time aboard. He arched a brow at Vaan, genuinely curious. "What do you hear?"
"I hear adverse yaw," Vaan panted. "The ship compensates so the ride is still smooth…But Penelo is farking my glossair aileron spoilers!" Vaan gritted his teeth, trying to catch his breath. If only the damn room would quit spinning...
"Lie still and breath slowly," Balthier snapped, but his tone lacked true sharpness. It struck home for him that Vaan was grown. A sky pirate in his own right, a captain who knew his ship like no other. For reasons Balthier couldn't name, it was a very bittersweet realization.
"Balthier…" Vaan ground out. "The ship will use more fuel flying this way. Plus..." Vaan struggled to finish explaining, frustrated and upset that his ship was being flown by someone else--even if that someone else was Penelo. She knew how to fly the ship well enough, but she lacked some innate instinct for doing it expertly. He'd told her a dozen times to watch the wing angles. And dammit, It's my ship, I'm the best one to fly it.
Balthier wrested the choice away, planting his palm firmly in the center of Vaan's chest. "Stay down. Just tell me how many degrees she has to adjust them and the pitch direction."
Vaan struggled a moment more then resigned himself, flopping back. He listened to his ship, and after a moment raised two shaking fingers, then gestured downwards with his thumb. He sunk into the pillows and closed his eyes again.
Balthier grabbed a com unit and gave Penelo instructions to right the wings, two degrees down--with the threat of the real captain dragging himself bridge-side. She didn't need to know what an utterly empty threat it was.
He waited, contemplating that Penelo's main achievement of late was feeding his perverse sense of humor, as a series of choice words were shared over the intercom. At least now she actually sounds like a pirate. Momentarily, a small shift in the hum of the Glossair engines confirmed not only that she had followed directions but that Vaan had indeed been correct--the Galbana's wing lifts had been off. Balthier was grudgingly impressed.
He turned back to the bed to confirm the change, only to find Vaan asleep. "Just as well," he quipped, picking up the cloth and cooling it yet again. "You're eminently easier to reason with when unconscious, if I do say so myself." He placed the cloth back on the boy's brow and sighed. "So while I have you a captive audience…" he paused, taking up Vaan's hand. "I must apologize, for all that is yet to come."
Balthier settled in for the remainder of the trip, finally finding a surprising tranquility in his duties--despite the limited accommodations. He contemplated that noblemen and pirates both shared a common lack. Potions and spells were a fast cure--effective, even vital in many situations. Right now, he'd use one in an instant if he could. But he was beginning to think of them as somewhat impersonal. Tools rather than solutions. Balthier decided that once you got used to it, hands-on methods weren't so terrible.
Of course, he would never, ever tell Penelo that.
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It's me again. Hi! As for what Balthier is missing…well, I figure in the shoot-em-up-western/007 crossover that his life is, he missed out on "comfort first-aid 101". It's something you sorta learn from your momma, and I always imagined Balthier's mother died early in his life. Of course, he would have had a nanny to mother him, like all well bred little Lords. But who says that isn't where some of his issues lie. *wink*
Thanks to liankitty, .O, ChaosGarden, The Masked Ottsel and Concise Complexity! You all really are wonderful for reviewing this monstrosity!