So You're a Vampire

by MOVED TO BOUNCING BEE

A guide to being a vampire! This guide takes you through eating habits, false myths, abilities, and a test to see if you're even a vampire! No returns unless you are a human who thought they were a vamp. Explore the wonders of being immortal!

3. Veggie versus Carni

So You're a Vampire - Eating Habits

Hello all of you vampires! Or humans who wasted 20 dollars on a book that may or may not be of any use to them! YAY. In this chapter, we shall take you through eating habits. What to eat and what not to eat.

Vegetarian

Some of you may know of the infamous Cullens. Yeah? Well, you know how they DO NOT eat humans, but instead save them? That would be called a vegetarian vampire. This path of life is HIGHLY recommended by Miss Fizzy Jones.

DO: Eat large predatory animals.

DO: Act natural around humans.

DO: Eat only animals.

DON'T: Kill and eat humans.

DON'T: Attack humans.

DON'T: Flaunt the fact that you don't eat human food.

Carnivorous

Don't take this path in life. Just DON'T. It's stupid and weird. Do you want to eat your own kind? Well, at least they WERE your kind at one point. It's like a werewolf going out and eating wolves after they've stopped phasing. Gross, huh?

DON'T: Take this path in life.

DON'T: Just don't. Okay?

An After Note

I would like to thank all of you vampires out there that took the vegetarian path. It has saved the lives of many, and stopped suspicion from arising in the news. THANK YOU.