Hello whoever is reading this is like a bonus because I almost forgot about Valentine's Day. God forbid! So this will be shorter, than the other chapters and later. Thanks for the reminder xxVizardxxRukiaxx!! Hope you enjoy this.

I sadly do not own bleach or my beautiful white haired captain!

On with the story!!

Why the hell am I doing this? I am seriously not getting paid enough for this. Goodness gracious, who needs Valentine's? It's just one big hassle for beautiful boys like me to get killed. Well do you want to hear my story? Here it goes...

Today I woke just like a normal day, just ready to face the messed up world, when ... BAM! I slammed face first into my lieutenant's 'blessings'. And she's all like, "Captain!! Happy Valentine's Day!!!! I am off to give out chocolates!!! Later!" and stuffed of her chocolates in my face. Can you imagine my face? So there I was, poor defenceless me against the all of women out there! Well maybe not that defenceless...hmm... I wonder how many girls Hyōrinmaru could take out in one swing.

Later

So I escaped my house without letting all the fan girls see me. Aren't you proud? It turns out 200 females were waiting outside my house to ambush me and force feed me their chocolates, that they got through black market with Kurotsuchi. I saw that my office was surrounded by girls, and decided to go to the EMVDB, which is the Emergency Men's Valentine's Day Base. All of us guys made that last year. It super fortified. No one can find it. Now I know what you are thinking, what's so bad about Valentine's Day?

Valentine's Day in the Soul Society is DANGEROUS because all the girls use theirzanpakutos on you to get you their chocolates.

The chocolates are from Kurotsuchi.

Even hollows participate on this day.

Worst they all work together.

See this day is should not be called Valentine's Day it such be known as World War Day. Kurosaki has it easier because the girls in the real world are all bimbos. So when I got there it turns out almost half of the male soul reapers where here. Great! So I left.

You know only idiots and girls like v-day. Not to mention sadistic freaks.

For example: Ōmaeda. He only likes it because it is a day for him to gain what... 200 pounds of the chocolates, not only that but be a lab rat the clown face scientists chocolates. But all the girls he gets it from are from his family so it really doesn't count. Last year, he ate a chocolate and he started attracting all the bees in the whole Soul Society. Mind you, that that also means the Soi Fon was attracted too. Scary aye? She and the bees were stalking him and he was running around the place jiggling his fat ass and was waving his sausage arms. But the bees caught him in no time. The next day he seemed to have like 4 inches tall bee stings. He looked like one big fat boil. It was so funny!

Now Grimmjow is a whole other story. He gets some girls, and always accepts their chocolates. That is the worst mistake those sluts (they have to be sluts to like him or they are just insane) will make in the entire life. Because on the White Day (that's a much safer day) he takes each slut away for 10 min and when the 10 min is over that slut gets AIDs. And that happens the whole day. Don't ask me how I know this. You don't want to find out.

During the afternoon, I was walking and suddenly I see Byakuya being chased by Yoruichi like there is no tomorrow. And suddenly I see Soi Fon chasing after Yoruichi. A totally chain reaction. But eventually he got caught and was rolling around in the dust. It was like watching pigs roll in the mud! HILARIOUS! Byakuya's hair clips even fell out!

At the end of the day

When I got home from my busy wanderings (I was stalked, attacked and threatened the whole day or some crappy chocolate) I saw that every single girl put their chocolate through the mail thing so now all the chocolates where in my house. So I did the natural thing. I called for the chocolate garbage can. Aka Yachiru.

So I called Kenpachi and he was all like a father bear, "WTF? No way if she gets more sugar I am with the knee high devil!!! Is that how you want me to die?!" then Yachiru just popped up and was like "No!! Ken-chan I wanna see Shirou!!!!!"

They were here in a flash. See this is an example of child-parent abuse or insane adoration, or plain fear.

Then she jumped me. No, I don't mean Kenpachi you idiots. I meant the devil with pink hair glomped me from the front and stuffed chocolate into my mouth and hugged me. SHE FRIGGIN HUGGED ME AND STUFFED FRIGGIN MOST LIKELY EXPLOSIVE CHOCOLAATE INTO MY MOUTH!!!

Luckily I didn't explode but ... the chocolate made my hair pink. Now I have pink hair. FRIGGIN PINK HAIR! God, no people are going to mistake me as either Pink the 'superstar' or slut, or I might be seen as a major ugly Sakura fan from Naruto.

What the hell!?!?

I did the most natural thing got Hyōrinmaru and swung.

The day after

The next day I found out only Kenpachi got hurt. That was very sad on my part. Although, he is still currently in surgery.

The pink devil still loves me but I got rid of all the chocolates without the pink haired devil.

The next day

The clown scientist was hospitalized because of poisoning through a chocolate. Do you now know where I gave all my chocolate?

Well bye. Apparently Byakuya wants me to shut up about the rolling in the dust incident so he figures threatening will work, so I'm going to run.

Me: Tada!! How was that for a 2 day worked on fic? Hope you enjoyed that short chappie!!

BTW you must all review!!! Because I need reviews to write!!! And because sometimes I forget to update... so remind me with your reviews!!!!

Hitsugaya: Just review or else...

Me: ...

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