Bound in a marriage I didn't want, forced to be someone else's for the sake of politics. A good to be traded and sold. Not a person. Just a possession.
And of course I protested. Politely asking, rational reasoning, outbursts and- near the end- a tantrum. But what I had to say, what I wanted, didn't matter. I had no voice, no opinion, no say because of my gender- a woman should not, after all, have an option, heaven forbid.
"Please, Kana, I beg of you. Do not make this seem worse then it is," my mother pleaded.
"And embarrassment," my father said. "A woman should do as she's told."
Pakku came from a famous and talented family of benders. A noble and proud line, and a fine catch for the daughter of a high ranking warrior. He was arrogant, obnoxious, rude, sexist and handsome- a fact he knew only too well.
"You're lucky, aren't you?" He would gloat. "Getting to marry someone like me."
Everytime he said this- or something like this- I would want to hit him. On one occasion, I did. But, much to my horror, the marriage plans continued.
And as the day drew closer and closer, to my shock, I grew closer and closer to Pakku. He seemed egotistical and arrogant, but he was kind and gentle. Perhaps a sexist, arrogant pig- but he could listen. And he wooed me and stole my heart. The marriage seemed less and less of a punishment with every day, and started looking like more and more of an opportunity. And opportunity to be with the man I had slowly but surely started to fall in love with.
But everything changed when I went to the healers. When they told me I was with child.
It was then, I think, that the reality hit me. I loved Pakku, yes, but I was only seventeen. I had never left my icy home- now a prison. I was struck with the urge to escape and flee my future. But I was a rational, practical woman. I had to think.
My wedding day was mere weeks away, now. My days were getting busier and busier, full of preparation and tasks. My time with Pakku lessened until I barely saw him at all. He would not be the one to help me with my decision.
After every busy day, I would sit alone in my room. I looked out my window and stroked my stomach, praying to the spirits Tui and La that I would make the right decision. I thought long and hard about it- this could not only effect me, but my future child as well.
And so I knew I had to leave.
I was told, many times, about my element. That water will not try and force it's way through and obstacle. It would flow around it, taking the less complicated, easier route. I was water- and water always took the easiest course.
I would not.
I knew if I stayed here, I would never be able to leave. I would become an obedient, silent wife. I knew if I bore a daughter, she would have to go through the same trials as me. Forced into a marriage with someone she did not love, and I would have no say in it. Because what was I? Only a woman.
This way then perhaps, someday, Pakku would find me again. And I would explain. We would get married. A real marriage, not a trade or an assurance. We would get a happy, wonderful life together.
Why did I keep the necklace he carved me? I don't know. When I went to take it off, looking at the perfectly carved pendant that my love had made for me, I knew it was impossible to leave it. So I didn't.
My escape is something I will not go into- but a few friends of mine spirited me away in the night, leaving me at the shore of the Earth Kingdom. The trials were long, hard and cautious. The Fire Nation war had been raging on for fifty-four years and it was hard to avoid the soldiers that roamed the unprotected countryside, looking as foreign as I did. But I made it.
I knew where my destination was- the Southern Water Tribe. I had heard that it was not as strict in it's laws, and that women here could learn to be powerful warriors, and not merely meek healers. I was sure that I would be free there- free and, maybe someday, happy.
I managed to get a boat there, but they would not take me any further then the outskirts, where the icebergs grew larger and larger and the days colder and colder. But they did not need to. The waterbenders of the Southern Tribe found us there, bending their boats forward, challenging us when we came. But I explained to them that I was from the Northern Water Tribe, and the took me in, albeit reluctantly.
I feared for my unborn child. My stomach was bulging, and I was afraid the turmoils and tough journeying I had done would effect my unborn babe. But my Kya was born healthy, and together we grew up here. She was always such a strong headed girl. Adventurous and self sacrificing. We were happy. I was happy. And all I had to do left now was wait.
Wait for you.
Delayed, yes. Sorry about that. And I'm really unhappy with this chapter . One more part coming.