Disclaimer: Usagi, Mamoru and the entire cast do not belong to me.

AN: For those of you wondering what Mamoru would look like as a woman, consider this: there is a well known (though untrue) rumor in the Sailor Moon fandom that Setsuna (Sailor Pluto) is actually Mamoru in drag. Additionally, updates will be made in accordance to the number of reviews left. This story has quite a few favorites and views but only 2 reviews. Just sayin'!

Coffee Princess

Third Cup

Mamoru had no intention of risking his regular, if somewhat low-paying, construction job on the off chance of nabbing the one at the coffee shop. That night he'd managed to be chosen for some road repair work and the smell of hot asphalt clung to him heavily. He made a mental note to shower more thoroughly than usual in the morning, rather than risk showing up as a very odd smelling woman at the interview. He stopped once more to his sweaty brow and was relieved to see he had finished his portion of road. Marking it off behind the yellow construction rope he began to gather his things. That was when the chorus of catcalls began.

She was an angel. Not figuratively, literally. Above her long blonde hair a fuzzy white halo was attached through some tricky wiring. Her dazzling blue eyes widened at the sudden attention and she tugged at the equally fuzzy hem of her mini-dress self consciously.

"What are you guys looking at?!" She said, her voice like a bell, "Haven't you ever seen a Coffee Princess before?!" Stamping a white-booted foot dramatically she shook a bag in her hand at them. The silken gloves she wore must have done something to her grip, because the bag flew out of her grasp. In a second the majority of its contents, coffee beans, spilt onto the setting asphalt. Peels of laughter followed as Mamoru let out an exasperated yell. "I just finished that!"

The angel turned her angered glare from his coworkers to him and he was struck by the blush spreading quickly throughout her cheeks. "I'm so sorry!" She said, seeming genuinely apologetic. "I…I…" There seemed to be a simultaneous realization that there was nothing she could do to repair the situation.

Suddenly he remembered that the coffee beans were still, in fact, lying on the hardening asphalt and he waved her off. "It's fine. Just go." Not bothering to listen to her response he knelt down and began to remove the coffee beans by hand. It was dark and so he had to rely mostly on his sense of touch to find them. If he didn't get it done fast enough they would set with the asphalt and the re-repair would be docked from his pay. Suddenly his hand came across something warm and he looked up to see the angel kneeling down next to him, helping him to pick off the remaining beans. The two worked in silence, save for the occasional commentary from his fellow workers, and soon they were done.

The rest was easy, with a heavy roller he smoothed over any remaining bumps. Once more he proceeded to get ready to leave when a touch on his arm surprised him. At that point the others had left and he was surprised to see that she had stayed.

"Uhm.." Digging through her purse the angel came up with another small bag and handed it to him. "I'm really sorry for messing up your…street…thing." She motioned in the direction of the asphalt. "Here. I hope you like them, I roasted and dipped them myself." The aroma of espresso came to his nose and he closed his eyes to enjoy the rich smell. By the time he opened his eyes the angel was gone.

It wasn't that he didn't respect women. In fact, Mamoru had always been moderately successful with the gentler sex. Whenever he and his work-buddies hit a bar it was always him to whom women gravitated. This wasn't to say that he was a ladykiller, far from it. At the most those flings had only resulted in the occasional week-long relationship. None of them had ever been able to hold his interest.

He wasn't different from any other guy. He liked beautiful women but he had never had any idea of how much it took for women to groom and preen themselves as they did. Laying there on the cold, sterile waxing table he found himself mentally blessing every woman on the planet for her noble sacrifice.

"Are you ready, Chiba-San? This one might hurt a bit."

Unable to bring himself to speak, Mamoru gave a silent nod. The wax "artist" patted his outer thigh for a second before ripping the cloth from his skin. Forgetting his manhood he let out a pitiful yelp. He'd only expected to have to wax off his facial hair but the full body wax had been an unanticipated event.

"Don't worry, Chiba-san! Only one more leg to go!"

I'm going to kill Motoki. Even if he is paying for all this.

Red-skinned and popping ibuprofens like there was no tomorrow, Mamoru showed up at his best friend's doorstep. Instead of Motoki it was his younger sister, Unazuki who answered the door. The evil glint in her eye was unmistakable as she led him to the family room. There he saw that she had set up something of a makeshift salon.

"Motoki-niichan filled me in! Step right up," She ushered him into a barber's chair "this is totally going to be my beauty-school project!"

There hadn't been much hair-cutting involved. Instead, Unazuki had brought out a wide variety of wigs and had him try them on. He thought he would spend the rest of his life in that chair, while she shook her head dismissively at him but finally she let out an impressed "Aah!"

Not letting Mamoru look in the mirror, Unazuki then brought out a case filled with colored goops, gunk and liquids. Using suspiciously dangerous looking instruments she told him to hold still while she "put on his face."

His face didn't feel much heavier but he was still anxious to look at the results. The feisty red-head would have none of it however. With his eyes ordered shut he stumbled his way into a mirror-less closet with instructions to put on the clothes in his hands. As he changed he could hear Motoki's voice outside and Unazuki's laughter. Hesitantly, he made his way out.

Silence.

More Silence.

"Wow, Mamoru." Motoki spoke first, "You're kind of hot!"

AN: Review and the next update will be out in a few days! Or a few weeks. You know. Your choice D: