Aly: I don't own Twilight. Charlie's helping me write this. Charlie, do you own Twilight?

Charlie: I don't own Twilight, only James…Muahahahaha…

Aly: Charlie, we all know you have an unhealthy obsession with James, but you wouldn't have it if STEPHANIE MEYER hadn't written Twilight.

Charlie: Touché.

(Camera crew prepares for the filming of Twilight.)

Edward: (Kisses Bella)

Bella: (Kisses Edward)

Dottie: Aaaaaahhhhhh! Noooooo! You will not kiss my future husband! (Slaps Bella.)

Bella: (Screams as she falls off bed.)

Dottie: (Throws herself at Edward.)

Edward: (Falls off bed.)

Bella: Security!

Dottie: (As she is dragged off by her arms) EDWARD! No! Call me!

(Camera crew was speechless)

(Camera crew prepares for the filming of New Moon)

Edward: Bella, we're leaving.

Bella: What? No…why?

Edward: Bella, I-

Dayna: (Screaming insanely) Noooooo! (Slams into Edward)

Edward: What the-!? (Falls over)

Bella: Security!? SECURITY!?

Camera man: Who the HELL is that!?

Dayna: BRING BACK JAMES! BRING BACK JAMES! JAAAAAAMES! (As she is dragged away by security guards) James! James! James! James! James! James! James! James…!

(Camera people shake their heads in disbelief.)

(Camera people prepare to film Eclipse.)

Jacob: I love you, Bella.

(A flash of purple is seen flying past the window. The camera people look at each other in confusion, but motion for Bella and Jacob to continue.)

Bella: Jake, I-

(There is another flash of purple flying past the window.)

Jacob: (Kisses Bella)

(The director halts the scene and glances out the window. She sees nothing.)

Director: Start the scene from Jacob's last line.

Jacob: Alright. I love you, Bella.

Bella: Jake, I-

(The camera man screams and points in terror at the window. Aly's face was pressed up against the window, her hands placed on either side of her head, banging on the glass. A sly grin creeps onto her face, as she slowly inches down below the window sill. She is gone. They all look to the director, fear in their eyes.)

Director: (Sighs) Okay, let's start from the beginning.

Jacob: Bella, I love you.

Bella: JAKE, I-

Jake: (Kisses Bella)

Aly: (Screams like a banshee as she breaks open the window and jumps in, tackling Jacob to the ground.)

Jacob: What the-!? (Aly pushes him over again, silencing him)

Aly: Punch him Bell! Break his jaw! I'll go get the crowbar!

Jacob: Security!

Director: Who are you!?

Aly: I am your worst nightmare! (As she is dragged off by security guards) Break his jaw! Break his jaw!

(The camera people are preparing to film New Moon.)

Edward: Bella, we're leaving.

(Dayna's head pops out from behind one of the trees. In a flash, it is gone. The director motions for them to continue.)

Bella: What, no… Why?

(Dayna's head pops out again, this time from a different tree. In a flash, it is gone. The camera people look at each other nervously. The director motions for security to take care of it.)

Edward: It'll be like I was never here.

(As security guards move to the tree, a loud, piercing scream is heard, as Dayna rushes into view of the camera, holding a sparkly sign that reads, "BRING BACK JAMES!" As she is dragged off, she screams.)

Dayna: Why'd you kill him! Bring James Back! He was to sexy to die! Edward should have died! Go screw yourself Edward! Yeah, I said it, I said it! James, James, James, James, James, James, James!

(You can still hear chanting as she is dragged off the set.)

Director: This is getting out of control…