DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight. Or Edward, or Bella, or Alice, or Carlisle, or Jasper, or Rosalie.

I also do not own Preston, or Jocelin, or BJ, or Dayna, or Alexis, or Dottie, cuz they're my actual friends! And they got copyrights on themselves.

I don't technically own Aly, because how can I own myself?

(They are preparing for the filming of Twilight)

Carlisle: (He is looking for the set. He sees Jocelin leaning against a wall wearing a nurse's hat, attempting to appear seductive.) Um, hello?

Jocelin: Hello Carlisle. (She tosses her hair to the side in an attempt to look sexy. It gets in her mouth and she spits it out in annoyance.)

Carlisle: Have you seen Kristen Stewart or Rob Pattinson?

Jocelin: Oh, don't worry about them right now.

Carlisle: What?

Jocelin: Do you tell Esme everything, Carlisle?

Carlisle: Excuse me?

Jocelin: (She moves closer to him) You can keep a secret, can't you?

Carlisle: I have to find the set…

Jocelin: Come on, Esme isn't here right now.

Carlisle: SECURITY!

Jocelin: (As she is dragged away) I'll wait for you! CALL ME!

(They have just finished filming for the day.)

Rosalie: (She is in her dressing room)

(There is a quiet knock on the door.)

Rosalie: Who is it?

Preston: Uh, Catherine Hardwick!

Rosalie: Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean I'm an idiot!

Preston: All right, it's me.

Rosalie: Well, whoever you are, you have to come back later. I'm changing.

(Upon hearing this, Preston tries frantically to open the door. The doorknob shakes and turns, but he cannot get it open.)

Rosalie: I'm done changing!

(Preston gives up opening the door. He walks away.)

Rosalie: Wow, I really should lock my door.

(They are filming Twilight.)

Edward: (As he pulls Bella out the window) You'd better hold on tight spider-monkey.

(They disappear. The camera crew begins to pack up. Ed, my made-up name for one of the camera people, motions for Andy, again, a made-up name, to continue filming, as a strange girl has wandered onto the set.)

Alexis: Aha! This is Edward's room! (She hits her head on the ceiling)

(AN: I'm sorry Alexis, but I will continue making tall jokes until I am one day taller than at least Kaitlyn! And if you don't actually know me, then you other people don't know who Katy is either, sorry.)

Alexis: (She begins opening drawers.) Oooh! (She opens a drawer that is presumably an underwear drawer. She sticks her hand in it and pulls out- A RED THONG!?) OMIGOD! (She drops the thong and closes the door. She then notices the camera men.) Oh, um, hello. Forget you ever saw that, okay?

Ed & Andy: (Nodding their heads) Definitely!

(They are filming Twilight.)

Jasper: Alice, what do you see?

Alice: (Picks up pen and paper and begins to draw) Mirrors, a room full or mirrors.

BJ: (Appears from nowhere) Yeah, so you go check that out, and I'll watch your husband for you, okay? (She wedges herself in between Alice and Jasper.)

Alice: Are you with those other girls?

Jasper: It's a little obvious, isn't it?

Alice: I was just asking!

Jasper: You don't have to get all defensive! GOD! (Gets up and leaves.)

Alice: (Near tears) You are so mean! I knew this wouldn't work! (Leaves the opposite direction.)

BJ: Trouble in paradise?

Bella: You do know they aren't actually married, right?

BJ: Really!? That's great! Maybe he'll make me a vampire now!

Bella: It's a MOVIE!

BJ: (Covers her ears.) LALALALALALALALA! No, it's real! LALALALALALA!

Bella: Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, IS NOT!

BJ: Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, IS TOO!

Bella: Is not!

BJ: Is too!

Bella: Is not!

BJ: Is too!

Bella: Is too!

BJ: Is not!

Bella: Ha!

BJ: No fair!

(Alice and Jasper run back on, crossing each other, realizing they both went the wrong way to get to their trailers.)

(They are filming Twilight.)

Jasper: Alice, what do you see?

Alice: (Picks up pen and paper.) Mirrors, a room full of mirrors, wait a second, who is THAT?

(On the paper, is the ballet studio, with a strange girl laying on the floor in the middle of the room, looking at a watch.)

Alice: She's waiting for someone…?

Jasper: You're supposed to be looking for James!

Alice: Oh, there is, there he is! The girl is standing up, and James has a confused look on his face. Oh dear god, what is she doing? She looks like she tackled him! He fell… Uh, where'd his shirt go? Oh god! I want the visions to stop! Oh, now she fell onto one of the mirrors, it shattered! She unconscious! Oh dear god! Oh wait, she's getting up!

(Bella's phone rings. She answers it.)

Renee: Bella, Bella!?

Bella: Mom?

James: Forks High doesn't protect it's student's privacy very- what the-!?

Dayna: (Seductively) Jaaaaaames!

James: Help me!

(There is a muffled scream, then the line goes dead.)