Chapter 9

Jack McCoy waited for the elevator in the lobby at Hogan Place. He had just finished a string of meetings at City Hall and a lunch meeting with Judge Petrovsky and was eager to get back to his office to get an update of the DiCillo case. His victim, ADA Harper VanMeter, had identified him the night before and they were working on a plea. As much as he hated to plead him out it was the best way for everyone - the US Attorney, the State of New York, and the victims in all the cases - to get what they wanted. Plea or not Jack was determined to make sure justice was served. Jimmy DiCillo won't be able to hurt or threatened anyone again. The elevator door opened and a couple of people snickered as they exited. Jack immediately saw the object of their folly. Harper was leaned up against the back of the elevator. Her arms across her chest holding several files. Her head was down and she was clearly asleep.

Jack entered the elevator and pressed the button for the 7th floor. The elevator's ascent did nothing to rouse Harper. Jack cleared his throat. Still nothing. He couldn't help but smile. "Harper," his raspy voice slightly louder than a whisper.

Harper raised her head, blinking back to awareness. She immediately straightened her posture, "Jack?"

"Catnapping is probably not the worst thing ever done in this elevator." His face smiled, but it was marred with concern.

Harper couldn't believe it. She'd just closed her eyes for a second on her way up to the 10th floor. Now here she was coming up from the lobby. Who knows how long she'd been riding up and down on the elevator. And of all of the people going in and out of this building, Jack was the one to find her. She blushed. She didn't even attempt to conceal her embarrassment. "Late night, I guess." It wasn't an out-right lie. She had been at the 27th precinct late into the night.

"Are you sure that's all?"

She sighed. She gave up weeks ago trying to hide things from Jack. He always knew. "I haven't been sleeping very well this week. I can't imagine why." She flashed him a sarcastic smile. "But it'll get better. Just need a little time." Last night had been the worst since her attack. She'd only gotten thirty or forty minutes of sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she heard his voice.

Jack looked at his watch, 12:30. "Why don't you take the rest of the day? Go home. Take a proper nap."

Harper shook her head. "No, that's not necessary. Besides, I'd go home, get all comfy in my bed, and I'd just lay there looking at the ceiling. And I've already cleaned every inch of my place - twice. I'll be OK. No more catnapping. I promise." She hoped the conversation wouldn't turn into another argument. She just didn't have the energy for it. Attempting to change the subject she added, "Anyway I'm already leaving early. I get my stitches out today."

"You know, if you'd like to talk to someone, a professional, I'm sure Skoda or Olivet could fit you in sometime." Jack wished she'd talked to someone. She'd been through a traumatic event, but Harper could give him a run for his money in willfulness, so she'd probably decline.

Harper wrinkled her nose and shook her head as she reached over and pushed the button for the 10th floor - her original destination.

The doors opened to the 7th floor and Jack slowly exited. He wanted to address their interrupted conversation from the night before, but knew that this wasn't the time. "Go home, if you feel like it."

Harper flashed a mischievous grin and said thank you just as the door closed in front of her. "Jack…. Always the one in charge," she said to the empty vessel.

After getting her stitches removed Harper decided to take Jack's advice and try to get some sleep. She laid down on the couch with a book and hoped it could lull her into a dreamless sleep. Or at the very least a sleep without Jimmy DiCillo. After an hour or so she slowly drifted off into a decent slumber.

Harper awoke suddenly, jolted out of a dream. Her neck was stiff from her propped up position on the sofa. How long had she been sleeping? She squinted as she read the blurry Roman Numerals of the wall clock - 6:27. Panic shot through her body, she'd over slept! Had she slept all night? She had to get running or she'd be late for work. Harper jumped up and head for her bedroom. Slowly the realization that it was Saturday came to her. She walked to her window and looked out. Dawn… or was it dusk? She rubbed her eyes in confusion. Her heart had stopped pounding, but her head began to throb. She grabbed her cell phone to end the uncertainty. 6:31 p.m., she laughed out loud at herself and collapsed on the bed. She'd slept for two and a half hours. The longest she'd slept in a couple of days. As she laid there feet dangling off the side she began to recall the dream she was having when she awoke.

She was in Battery Park. She was dressed in her usual jogging ensemble, a tank top and shorts, hair in a ponytail. She was sweaty and out of breath, clearly she'd been jogging, but she had stopped because she heard a baby crying. She scanned the area and found a little boy, very young, maybe two, sitting on a bench. She stopped and looked at him. He was gorgeous; shiny brown hair long enough to part on the side, huge brown eyes, and pink cherubic cheeks. He was sitting alone, holding a small toy basketball and bawling his eyes out. She looked around confused. Who would leave this adorable baby all alone? Anyone could snatch him right up. Harper walked over and knelt in front of the bench to look him in eyes.

"Well, hello there," she smiled and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

He stopped crying immediately and giggled. He reminded her of one of her nephews. She picked him up, pondering what to do.

"Where's your mommy, huh? What happened? Don't you worry little one…" she held him close and kissed his forehead.

The unknown boy just sat in her arms playing with the ball as if he had no care in the world. Harper began scanning the park looking for a frantic parent. There was nothing unusual. No one seemed to be panicking, searching for him. In fact it was a beautiful spring day, kids playing, families picnicking, dogs catching Frisbees, etc. Her emotions went from worry to anger. How could this happen? Why wasn't anyone looking for him? Who could be this careless? She bounced him lightly, as if to soothe him. When really it was her that needed the soothing.

She saw a police officer down the path and decided to alert him to the situation. As she walked the baby began laughing and dropped the basketball. She followed the ball as it rolled to the grass stopping at a pair of male feet.

"There you are," he bent down to pick up the ball, that she could now see it had a Chicago Bulls logo on it, and held it out to the child. "I was about to send out a search party."

It was Jack. He was smiling. Her favorite smile, the kind that touched his eyes. And he knew the baby. In fact the way the boy was carring on, he knew him, too. Suddenly she wasn't sweaty or in her running clothes anymore. She was in a blouse and jeans, her ponytail was replaced by loose locks pushed back with a headband. Jack reached for the child and he gladly went with him.

Harper wanted to ask Jack what was going on, how he knew the little boy, and where were his parents? But she didn't, the words wouldn't form. She went along with what was happening; confused, but still somehow knowing what was going on.

"You hold on to a ball about as well as your mama, don't you?" Jack laughed and looked Harper's way waiting for her reaction.

"Oooh really?" The words were coming out of Harper's mouth without her even thinking about them. "Daddy's just a sore loser, baby." She reached over and grasped his chubby hand and kissed it.

The trio strolled over to a blanket near a tree. They sat and played. She'd never seen Jack look so tranquil. He laughed and rolled the ball back and for to the boy. They were practically mesmerized by everything he did. She bent down and kissed his little feet and he laughed. Jack grabbed at his belly and the baby giggled until he was almost in tears. Their joy wasn't only directed at the child. They were at all times touching one another, whether they were holding hands or one had an arm draped around the other. She'd never felt so much love for a person, let alone two.

Next thing she knew they were laying on the blanket. Jack was propped up against the tree with his arm around Harper while she rested her head on his chest. The baby laying face down, also on Jack's chest, was sound asleep. Jack was reading. She thought it was Shakespeare. Hamlet maybe. She closed her eyes and listened to his voice. She loved his voice; raspy, yet soft and fluid at the same time. She listened to the boy's shallow breathing. Her heart swelled so much she thought it would burst. She opened her eyes and lightly fingered the boy's hair. Some reality came back to her. Who was he? Was he really theirs? Jack wouldn't lie. Then Jack said it was time to go. When she sat up they weren't in Battery Park anymore. They were on a football field, her high school football field. They were in San Saba. Harper handed the sleeping baby to Jack and began folding up the blanket.

"Are we staying for the game?" She asked Jack, but when she turned around he was gone. The baby was gone. Panic started to creep in. Then her friends from high school were there and it was time for the halftime show. She had to march. She picked up her flute, but knew she didn't remember the music, let alone the program. She went along with it and to her surprise she marched in time and played her music with perfection. The entire time she was eager to finish. She needed to find Jack and the baby. Where had they gone? Finally the show was over and she scanned the stands for Jack and their son. Instead she found Mike and Connie. The were bundled up and cheering along with the crowd.

"Have you seen Jack and the baby?" she asked them almost accusingly.

They just smiled and cheered, "GOLDEN ARMADILLOS! GO! FIGHT! WIN!"

Harper could tell they were going to be of no help. Then, she saw Jack through the crowd. He carried the cherub faced boy in his arms. They stopped and were laughing at a clown. Why was there a clown at a football game? Harper didn't know understand, but she was feeling very anxious. She need to get to them. She headed their way, but they started walking again. They headed into locker room. She opened the door to the locker room, when she went through she was in the hallway at the Manhattan Courthouse. She looked ready for work, hair pulled back into a twist with a grey suit on. She searched the busy hallway for Jack and her boy.

"Jack!" She yelled not caring whom she might disturb. "Jack!"

"Harper?" She turned around relief washed over her entire body. "Thank God! Where'd you go?!"

He looked at her perplexed.

She realized that except for his briefcase he was empty handed. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"The boy." she said exasperated.

Jack frowned. There was no sign of the calm Jack from the park. He was acerbic and weary. "Who?" His tone said he was running out of patience. "Are you ready? The judge wants to see you."

Panic, again, washed over her, but this time it was controlled. Harper knew she had to see the judge. "OK, but where is he?" Then she heard his cry again. Just like in the park. She set out searching for him as Jack yelled something at her about the judge. She cared, but this seemed more important. She searched and searched and….

Then she woke up.

Harper laid on her bed going over the dream. How strange! The absurdity of it all; she and Jack with a baby, her marching during halftime, Connie and Mike cheering at the game. It was the silliest dream she'd had in a long time.

But her thoughts kept falling to the baby and how she felt in the park laying there with him and Jack. She'd never felt such peace. And now laying here in her apartment, she felt alone. Not just alone, but empty. She couldn't shake the strange feeling.

Harper was suddenly aware of her grumbling stomach so she pushed the ridiculous dream aside and headed to the kitchen. She searched through the pantry and refrigerator trying to find something she wanted. Nothing seemed to catch her eye. She thumbed through the takeout menus that she kept in one of the kitchen drawers. Pizza, Indian, Greek, Chinese... Chinese it was. She placed her order, opened a bottle of white zin, and retreated to the living room to relax. She put on Patsy Cline - very fitting for her mood - and waited for her dumplings and lo mien.

Whether it was the wine or the couple of hours of sleep she wasn't sure, but Harper felt pretty good. The music hummed through her effortlessly. As she relaxed her mind couldn't help but wonder to her earlier dream. The baby, Jack, the park… it had felt so real. Then the strangeness of the football game… and the clown. What the hell was that all about? She couldn't help but laugh out loud. At the same time there was something about the whole thing that left her feeling almost melancholy.

There was a knock at her door. She looked at the clock. It was too soon to be her food. She opened the door without looking through the peep hole or keeping the chain attached - one of the perks of having armed police officers outside your door.

"Jack." She was certain she blushed. Thank God he couldn't read minds or he'd know she'd been thinking about him. Knowing him, he may know regardless. Harper wasn't an expert on Jack McCoy, but she could tell something was going on. There was an energy about him. "What's up?"

Jack couldn't wait to tell Harper the news. He came straight over from the office. As had happened previously when he entered her apartment he was assaulted with the ambiance. The citrus and flowery sent of her perfume, Patsy Cline's 'Sweet Dreams' playing on her beloved Ipod, the warm glow of the candles sporadically lit around the small living room. It was a heady sensation. He reprimanded himself for letting his thoughts stray to the impermissible and from the task at hand. He pulled himself back to reality, suddenly aware of the amused look on Harper's face.

"Jack?"

"We got him." Jack smiled her favorite smile.

The smile faded from Harper's face. Her body language immediately tensed. "What do you mean?"

Jack chuckled hardily. "I mean, he sung like a canary. Not only did DiCillo give up both Romano and the mysterious 'Smoking Man', and not only did he take the deal we offered him, but he also threw in some information about Misiano himself."

Jack beamed. She'd never seen him like this. "S-so what does that mean exactly?" She felt dense asking the question. What she really wanted to say was 'What does that mean for me?', but that seemed too egotistical to ask.

Jack sensed her apprehension right away and, of course, Jack being Jack knew exactly what was wrong. "That means Jimmy DiCillo took 20 to life and you won't have to worry about him again."

To say that relief washed over Harper would be a understatement. She immediately felt a 100 pounds lighter. Like the weight of the world she didn't realize she was carrying was lifted from her shoulders. She exhaled and a small laugh escaped her.

Jack watched as the realization fully engulfed Harper. Before his eyes she, once again, became the carefree woman he'd come to know and grown so close to. Without warning she began to laugh, not a chuckle, but a full, whole-hearted laugh. It had just been a week, but it seemed like so long since he'd last heard it.

"And the protection detail?"

"I thought you'd like to do the honor." He smiled and ushered her to the door.

Harper went out into the hallway and thanked the two men for their diligence. They were unconvinced and made a call to Lt. Van Buren, which was evidently all they needed. Harper gave each man a kiss on the cheek and strict orders to go home to their wives. She had to admit she liked them and was very thankful, but she certainly wouldn't miss them.

Jack watched Harper's display from the doorway with an amusing grin.

"Have a drink with me?" Her face was practically glowing. "I even have scotch, so you can't say no." She grabbed his hand as she walked past him pulling him back into the warm apartment. She poured their drinks and handed Jack his glass. "What should we drink to?"

Jack looked at her with faux earnestness, "To justice." He held up his glass.

Harper giggled freely, "Corny, but fitting." She clinked her glass to his and they drank their scotch in a comfortable silence.

"I owe you, Jack. I owe all of you, more than you can imagine. I don't think I would have gotten through this without you guys. Thank you so much, for everything."

"You don't owe me anything. Besides you did all the heavy lifting." He winked.

Just like the first time he winked at her outside the courthouse her heart fluttered. She thought of bringing up their conversation from the night before, but didn't want to ruin the good mood she was in. She had a feeling, despite all the evidence to the contrary, Jack was going to shoot her down. She knew he probably should, but she didn't want him to. She wanted him to want her. To want her so badly he couldn't help himself. To want her the way she wanted him.

Jack put his glass down, "I should go."

Harper instantly deflated. "OK…." She tried to hide her disappointment as best she could.

As he walked to the door her thoughts were drawn to the last time they were alone in her apartment. The night they'd danced. She was certain he was going to kiss her, certain of the desire in his eyes. But it didn't happen and she watched him walk out. She couldn't quietly acquiesce and let him make this decision alone. Every inch of her body screamed 'STOP HIM!'

"Jack?"

He turned. His hand already on the door knob. She was striking standing there in the dim apartment, so much so he couldn't find the words to reply.

"Thanks again."

Brilliant. If her feminine wiles didn't wow him her verbal prowess would.

"Anytime." He held on to the knob to keep from reaching for her. She had no idea how alluring she was, how much he wanted her. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be having these thoughts. He's her boss, he's old enough to be her father. It wouldn't work.

She came closer to him. "I just…. Well, I…."

Her perfume filled the small space between them. It was the lightest smelling perfume he'd ever smelt. Citrus with just the slightest hint a of floral undertone. It was intoxicating. She reached up and kissed him softly on the cheek. Her lips were like silk against his weathered skin.

Harper began to pray she wasn't making a fool of herself. She knew he wanted this. So many times over the last few weeks they'd come so close. When his lips finally found hers she froze. What if this was a mistake? He's her boss. Cyrus was right. She was too practical for her own good. Practicality be damned! She wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anyone. It wasn't practical, it wasn't neat, and it was clean. But it was real and tangible.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. All the pent up desire and tension released in that one swift motion. His smell, his taste, his touch, it was sensory overload. He wrapped his arms around her waist, making her feel safe and protected.

She knew at that moment she never wanted to be kissed or held or touched by any man other than Jack McCoy.