A/N: Once again, thanks for the reviews! The reason behind Tootie sitting with the popular kids at lunch (incase anyone was curious) will be explained in the sequel to 'Stuck Together', think of this fic as an in-between story. To answer a question: I do have a story planned involving the pixies. I even have a new pixie OC ready for it. Her profile art will be up in my gallery at deviantArt soon!
Double Trouble
Chapter Three: Unexplainable Fondness: Opposites Attract
The digital alarm clock by Timmy's bed went off at precisely 6:45 the next morning. The twelve-year-old groggily pulled the blankets over his head and blindly tried to hit the snooze button with his fist. After missing seven or eight times he growled in frustration, sat up, and chucked the annoying device across the room.
Instead of shattering when it hit the opposite wall the clock was yanked back like a boomerang when the cord (which Timmy had neglected to unplug) got pulled taut. Timmy dunked just in time. The clock hit the headboard and dropped down into the fishbowl giving both slumbering anti-fairies a shocking wake-up call.
"AAAHHHH!"
"AAAHHHH!"
Timmy was over halfway dressed when his singed and crabby anti-fairy godparents poofed out of the fishbowl and glared at him accusingly.
"Oh good, you're up." he smiled innocently, "I'm going downstairs for breakfast so you two might wanna hurry up and get ready. You did promise to come with me to school today and the bus will be here in thirty minutes."
"After you went and fried us up like fish sticks?" Anti-Wanda shouted. "Why should we do you any favors?"
"Indeed," Anti-Cosmo coughed out a mouthful of smoke.
"Because if you don't..." Timmy grinned slyly, "...I might get extra miserable and then Jorgen would find out that you two aren't doing your jobs."
"Then it's slammer time!" Anti-Wanda gulped chewing on her nails.
"Oh very well!" Anti-Cosmo snapped, "But I warn you child don't think you can outsmart an evil genius like me. I have my ways of obtaining revenge you know?"
"Right," Timmy laughed. On his way out the door he called over his shoulder, "See you at the bus stop."
Anti-Wanda glared after him, "You sure that buck toothed punk ain't a threat to our escape plan?"
"Don't worry," her husband assured her, "I can assure you that everything's going according to plan."
"And just what is the plan anyway?"
"Now dearest," Anti-Cosmo eyed her reprovingly, "remember what happened the last time I told you about my brilliant escape plan?"
She paused for a moment to think, "Aw ya know I can't think on an empty stomach!"
Whipping a sandwich out of her back pocket she bit down and exclaimed in surprise, "Hey! Grilled cheese!"
"Yes well that happens when one's breakfast is electrocuted my love." Anti-Cosmo sighed.
She took another big bite out of the sandwich before a light bulb went off over her head (which she promptly ate), "Now I remember! You're talking 'bout that time when I went and told Jorgen that you was cleverly hidin' under that round thingy on the laundry truck!"
"It's called a hubcap dear and yes I am." Anti-Cosmo folded his arms. "So this time our top secret escape plan stays with me!"
"Fine by me sug," Anti-Wanda swallowed another mouthful of grilled cheese and tapped her noggin', "the less I gots rattlin' around in here the better!"
Anti-Cosmo couldn't help but grin, "Yes well, I suppose it does serve a better purpose as storage space for my things rather than idle thoughts."
"Yep, so how's about some a that fancy tea you likes so much?" Anti-Wanda popped her top and fished out a china plate and tea cup followed by an elegantly crafted teapot, "Careful now," she cautioned her husband as she poured him a cup, "it's hot!"
Thirty minutes later at the bus stop...
"This is gonna be great," Timmy could hardly wait. "Having two anti-fairies to wreak bad luck on everybody that gets in my way today is gonna be awesome! And best of all I don't even have to worry about anyone seeing you!"
"Yes you see these monitoring cuffs do a lot more than merely alert that brute Jorgen to our godparenting status. They also make us visible to the naked eye. More specifically the naked eye of the godchild we're assigned to oversee." Anti-Cosmo explained.
"Yep and unlike them slimmin' jumpsuits they makes sure that nobody else doesn't see us neither!" Anti-Wanda added proudly.
"Great! Here comes the bus!" Timmy gestured excitedly as the large yellow vehicle turned the corner and pulled up right in front of them.
Just like yesterday Timmy walked down the aisle to find Sanjay sitting in his seat. But this time he was prepared...
"Hey Sanjay ol' buddy!"
"Hi Timmy!"
"Um say," Timmy leaned in closer to whisper so the other guys wouldn't hear, "I don't know if anyone's told you but uh...this seat is haunted!"
Sanjay's eyes instantly widened in fear, "Really?"
"Yep, and they say that if you sit here a lot of weird and really bad stuff will start happening to ya."
"L-like what?"
Timmy glanced sideways at Anti-Cosmo who rolled his eyes and complied.
"Boo...fear me. I am the invisible ghost of-" Blast, what's a common boy's name? "-George Smithfield!"
"AAAHH!" Sanjay pulled his knees to his chest as his teeth started to chatter wildly. "Invisible ghost!"
"What are you talking about Sanjay?" A.J. quirked an eyebrow. "Everybody knows there's no such thing as ghosts."
"Oh sure," Timmy whispered, "that's what they want you to think. But tell that to Gordy Smithfield!"
"That's George you dope!" Anti-Cosmo snapped.
"Whatever!" Timmy hissed.
Anti-Wanda decided she too wanted in on the prank. Snatching a bowl full of green jello from a paper bag lunch sitting on the next seat back she raised it up high over Sanjay and emptied the contents onto his head.
"AAAHHH! YUCK! I've been SLIMED!" Sanjay was in hysterics, in a flash he was up on his feet and sprinting off back to his old seat next to Elmer.
"Dude," Chester gasped, "what's up with him?"
"I don't know," Timmy shrugged, "must've been somethin' he ate."
The anti-fairies exchanged wicked glances. It seemed that the monitors only went off when they misbehaved towards their godchild. That meant that every other unsuspecting kid in the vicinity was fair game for foul play!
"Oh this will be quite amusing," Anti-Cosmo chuckled darkly.
"Just like old times," Anti-Wanda agreed.
In class Mr. Crocker chose to completely ignore the lesson plan in favor of giving another rant—ur—lecture on the existence of fairies.
"And as you can see by these calculations class," he pointed to the series of meaningless doodles he had scribbled on the board, "the boundless unexplainable phenomenons that astound our world are all obviously the work of—FaIrY GoDpArEnTs!"
A.J. yawned and went back to writing his autobiography, Chester was snoring behind his propped up text book while a river of saliva ran from his open mouth. In the back Trixie was filing her nails while Veronica applied more foundation from her compact. The rest of the class occupied themselves in a similar manner. Timmy sat eagerly anticipating what his temporary godparents would devise to livin' up this snooze fest.
Anti-Cosmo hovered up at the board stroking his chin, "No no no, these calculations are all wrong! Whatever boob qualified this man to be a teacher obviously needs their head examined!"
"Hm, they looks alright to me." Anti-Wanda remarked floating upside down beside him. "Same squiggly stuff you're always jottin' down everywheres."
Her husband sighed, "My brilliant schemes are not squiggles you twit. They're highly complex, masterfully devised blueprints for defeating our fairy adversaries!"
"Whatever," Anti-Wanda shrugged, "they still looks like hen scratch to me."
Preoccupied with his bout with his wife Anti-Cosmo failed to noticed that he was on a collision course with the pacing teacher. Timmy watched in horror as Mr. Crocker bumped into the unseen obstacle that was his temporary godfather.
"Ow!"
"Oomph!"
Crocker's eyes bulged, "Who said that?"
"Me you idiot!" a body-less voice answered, "Watch where you're going!"
"Oh my gosh!" Chester exclaimed, "Sanjay was right! This school and everything near it is haunted!"
A series of screams followed by clanging chairs and overturned desks ensued as students rapidly clambered for the door. Something akin to this had happened back in elementary school when Timmy had wished himself invisible to avoid getting pounded by Francis on Awards Day. Needless to say, he'd gotten a little carried away...
Mr. Crocker leapt in front of the mob of petrified students in an attempt to keep them from ditching his class but only got himself trampled in the process.
"Ow! Hey! You! Watch it you! Why I ought to-! That's a week's worth of detention for you pal! Aiyee! My spine!"
By the time lunch rolled around things had grown a bit calmer. Kids were still kind of edgy but a strict warning from Principal Waxelplax after their mad rush down the hall had them more afraid of suspension than ghosts at the moment.
"YO TIMMY!"
Mark once again waved his Earth pal over to their usual table.
"Who's that kid?" Anti-Wanda inquired.
"That's Mark Chang; he's an alien warrior prince from Yugopotamia." Timmy explained, "He was in love with Vicky but she chose Chip so now he's back on Earth probably still hiding from his crazy alien fiancée."
"Fascinating," Anti-Cosmo yawned, "And now that we know his life story would you mind terribly getting on with your lunch?"
The pink hatted pre teen had no more than sat down at his table when a shrill voice sang out, "Oh Timmy!"
"Not again," Timmy's pupils shrank as he whipped around to his anti-fairy godparents for assistance.
"I've got this one hon," Anti-Wanda informed her husband.
"Enjoy yourself precious." Anti-Cosmo smiled indulgently.
Going with one of the classics Anti-Wanda poofed herself up a banana and devoured everything but the peel in one gulp. She dropped the remnants in the ebony haired girl's path.
"Eep!" Tootie squeaked when her feet shot out from under her. The contents of her tray went flying back and covered the unlucky student behind her.
"YUCK!"
Timmy wore an ear-to-ear grin. YES! This is too perfect! Tootie's disgusting cafeteria food just got dumped all over Remy Buxaplenty!
"Sorry Remy," Tootie apologized and offered him her napkin.
"That's quite alright," he sent a glare in Timmy's direction; "something tells me you had nothing to do with this Tootie."
That's right! Timmy inwardly kicked himself, Remy has a godparent too. He probably knows all about anti-fairies and the bad luck they cause! What if he even has a temporary anti-fairy godparent like me?
"Would you like for me to be avenging you now?" a small, dark, and slender creature asked the blond boy.
"No Anti-Wandissimo, that won't be necessary." Remy replied wiping the creamed corn off his jacket, "You know how thoughtless Turner can be with his wishes. I'm sure that given the proper time he'll fall prey to his own pranks."
"Ah I see," Anti-Wandissimo smirked, "give a man enough rope-"
"Precisely," Remy smirked cunningly before following Tootie back to the popular table. Ah Turner, so confident that you're on top. Well what you don't know is that before leaving for the mandatory Fairy Godparents Conference Wandissimo volunteered me for the reform program too! This should be an interesting week...
"Hey looky there!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed, "It's Anti-Wandissimo!"
"Yes," Anti-Cosmo glared after his ex-rival, "it would appear that he's been assigned to a godchild as well."
"Who'd have thunk that he'd be grantin' wishes for a rich kid like that?"
"I suppose it is the one thing that's gone right in his life." Anti-Cosmo stated chidingly.
"What'cha talkin' 'bout sug?" his wife questioned, "His life's been goin' much better ever since he met up with my sister."
"Could we save the reminiscing for after school?" Timmy whispered. Great, so Remy does have a temporary anti-fairy godparent. I'll have to be careful...
The school bell rang releasing the throngs of exhausted students. Timmy could've been home free if he had gone around the other side of the building today. But instead he purposefully chose to go the route where Francis was waiting by the dumpster.
"Turner," his malicious chuckle emanated from the shadows, "back for another beating?"
"Wait Francis," Timmy showed no sign of fear as the gray bully towered over him, "before you pound the daylights outta me there's something I've always wanted to ask you."
"What's that?"
Timmy smirked, "Do you consider yourself superstitious?"
"Stupidwishus?" Francis butchered the word.
"No superstitious," Timmy corrected, "ya know, do you believe in bad luck and all that?"
"Heck no!" the bully proclaimed, "I ain't afraid of nothin' and bad luck's just make believe!"
"Is that so...?"
"Yeah it's so!" Francis was losing his patience, big surprise. "Now stand still so I can mash your face in."
Reaching into his pocket Timmy pulled out a shaker of salt and held it up towards the bully. Francis took one look at the object and laughed.
"What are ya gonna do Turner? Salt and pepper me to death?"
"Nope," Timmy grinned slyly when Francis slapped the shaker out of his hand spilling salt all over the sidewalk, "just gonna make a believer out of you."
Right on cue Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda swooped in and delivered an atomic wedgie for the record books to the unsuspecting bully.
Timmy left the school grounds whistling merrily to himself as his tormentor dangled from the flag pole by the rim of his underwear.
"You guys were awesome!" Timmy exclaimed flopping down in front of his TV.
"Thank you, thank you." Anti-Cosmo took a bow, "We do try our best to be our worst don't we dear?"
"You got that right," Anti-Wanda nodded, "And there ain't no better schemer than my Anti-Cosmo!"
"Oh stop," her husband blushed, "you're too much."
Turning on his game system Timmy prepared to be zombified in front of the tube for the rest of the night. Unfortunately for him his temporary godparents had other plans.
"Hey!" Timmy exclaimed when the screen suddenly went blank.
"Nuh-uh kid," Anti-Wanda twirled the power cord around in her hand, "we gots us some more bondin' to do."
"Right," Anti-Cosmo agreed, "and if I remember correctly it's my turn to continue on with the story."
"Aww..." Timmy grumbled. I hope Cosmo and Wanda are coming back soon.
...Flashback (Anti-Cosmo POV)...
Try as I might to hide it I was simply smitten with Anti-Wanda ever since I first saw her on the track field that day. And it didn't help my denial that the dope Anti-Wandissimo had taken a liking to her too.
We were changing back into our regular clothes after gym when he chose to pick-up our little conversation about villainy.
"So Anti-Cosmo, we were discussing the villainy." Anti-Wandissimo smirked after most of the other students had continued on to their next class.
"You were claiming to have an interest in it." I answered indifferently, "Although I must say you strike me as more of a klutz than a criminal."
The fool displayed a sheepish grin and began to sweat profusely. "Yes well, all part of my brilliant disguise! I cannot very well have the other students catching on to my true devious nature, can I?"
I had to laugh!
"I am serious senor!" he exclaimed passionately, "I have spent many years studying the art of villainy and trained myself in the ways of a master swordsman!"
"Do tell," I grinned.
"I shall do you one better," he grinned smugly shrugging off his long black trench coat to reveal a cape and ruffled blouse. From a strap on his cummerbund he produced a long sword and waved it about grandly. "Adventure! Stealth! And honor among thieves!"
I suppose the idiot was trying to impress me with a daring bit of swordplay. However all he succeeded in doing was to embarrass himself. On the third sweeping slash he lost his grip and fumbled wildly with the weapon. I daresay that I would have been maimed had I not distanced myself from the chaos by using my wings to bat backwards a few yards.
From my safer viewpoint I watched with mild amusement as he desperately attempted to regain control of the object before giving up and letting it drop to the ground rather than risk losing a limb.
"Eheh, sometimes my sword she prefers to dance alone."
"Obviously," my one word answer said it all. He was a horrible imitation of a vigilante outlaw and he knew it.
"Alas!" he placed a hand to his forehead and threw his head back in a dramatic show of shame and misery. "With poor skills such as these is it any wonder why I am considered to be the 'black sheep' of my family?"
"I suppose not, but don't worry." I believe I snorted, "There's always a true villain around with an opening for lackeys."
To my astonishment he ceased his sobbing and stared at me wide eyed and...hopeful?
"Really?"
A split second later I was trapped in a lung crushing embrace. "Oh THANK YOU senor!" he sobbed graciously, "I had nearly given up hope that you even liked me but now I see that you were merely testing my loyalty for worthiness!"
"What the devil are you blathering on about you imbecile?" I demanded poofing myself a crowbar to pry him off.
"I accept!" he released me and saluted obediently, "As your new lackey amigo I pledge to always do my WORST!"
"My-" now it was I who looked ready to cry, "-wait a minute you dolt that's not what I-"
RING!
My teeth clenched. Blast that accursed bell!
I turned my attention back to the oaf only to find that he'd poofed away to his next class. Snarling now I did the same. I knew that moron would be trouble from the moment I first laid eyes on him!
"Okay class," Professor von Strangle greeted us, "today we shall begin our studies in the vast exciting world of biology!"
We each took a seat on a stool behind the lab stations in the room. Naturally we were paired off so that everyone had a lab partner. Our first assignment was to study some samples of microorganisms provided for us in Petri dishes. We were then to complete a series of worksheets on the creatures and clean our stations before the end of class.
A simple enough task. I thought.
Glancing over the questions on the worksheets I discovered that I knew most of the answers already. Still, better set up the microscope...
It was then that I brushed elbows with my swirly haired infatuation.
"Well howdy there stranger," she beamed at me.
For the first time in my life I found myself utterly speechless. I sat there wordlessly with my mouth opening and closing like some deranged halfwit while she looked about uneasily.
"Uh...you do remember me right?"
Of course I remembered her! How could I ever forget that lovely face! It would haunt my dreams from that day forward! Ah Shakespeare, now I understand the emotion that must have coursed through your veins whenever you sat down to feverously write out another tale of tragic love!
For at that moment it was painfully obvious that I—Anti-Cosmo, evil genius and scathing recluse—loved a twit!
"NOOOOOO!"
Ahem...by the time my surge of panic had passed the entire class had turned to stare at me with looks of startled curiosity.
"Feel better?" my lab partner inquired, she too regarded me as though I was a lunatic who'd just struggled out of his straightjacket.
"Anti-Cosmo," the professor called from his desk at the front of the room, "are you alright? Do you need me to write you a pass to the nurse's office?"
"I—no—ahem, I'm fine. Really, just a little...shaken up. Yes, that's all." I scrambled to collect myself and maintain what few shreds of dignity I might have left.
"I understand that the first day of high school can be rather overwhelming," the professor went on, "but I assure you that the anxiety will pass. Give it time, pace yourself, and if you should require an extension on the assignment I will be all too happy to oblige."
"I said I'm fine!" I snapped.
"Okay, sure. If you say so." He put his hands up in a gesture of submission. "Everyone back to work."
As I glared at the meddling teacher a faint cough drew my attention back to my lab partner.
"I think I knows why you're upset." She whispered, "It's on the count of me bein' stupid right?"
I raised an eyebrow, "Stupid?"
"Yeah," she graced me with a small smile, "I ain't never been all that good at school but don't worry cause I'll try. You just tell me what to do and I'll make sure to give it my best shot so you don't get a bad grade too okay?"
Another surprise, I had never wanted to wrap my arms around someone so badly! My heart was screaming for me to fling my arms around this precious angel and cuddle her fractured self esteem back to its former glory. I made up my mind right then and there. However atrocious her grades might've been before this sweet little bumpkin would excel at every assignment I had a hand in!
"Don't worry my dear, as long as I'm your partner your projects will all be first rate material!" I vowed.
To my delight I saw her pink eyes brighten. It was as if I could actually feel her spirits lifting when she nodded eagerly and sat to work.
"Pipette."
"Ya mean this mini-turkey bastin' thing?"
"Specimen A."
"Speci-what?"
"Glass slide."
"What d'ya think this is, a playground?"
"Look just hand me that beaker."
"Uh..."
I had my work cut out for me.
Somehow we managed to get the assignment done before the end of class. I had to admit that although she confounded me at every turn I had quite enjoyed my time working with Anti-Wanda. As often as she had given me cause to rip out my hair by the roots she'd also succeeded in making me laugh (something I didn't typically do unless it was at someone else's expense).
So it was a bittersweet parting when we went about our separate ways to third period. She had home economics while I would be attending geometry.
"Thanks for explainin' everything to me." she said a bit shyly.
"A pleasure my dear, anytime." I smiled, an actual warm friendly smile!
Seizing the moment I took her hand in mine and planted a short, gentleman-like kiss atop it. I was quite pleased to find her blushing and returning my smile.
"Gosh," she mumbled more to herself than to me, "I feels just like one of them fancy princess types when you do stuff like that."
"Oh really?" I could hardly believe it but there I was flirting! "Well then Anti-Wanda darling have I mentioned how much I adore your beautiful teeth?"
Her eyes bulged; clearly she had never received a compliment of this sort before. "Ya mean it? But my teeth's all crooked and-"
I shushed her by placing a finger over her lips, "Not at all, I assure you they're very alluring. We really must work on raising your self esteem. Until lunch then?"
"I guess," she blushed again and started bashfully rubbing her arm. A cute gesture, no wonder I was so taken by her.
The warning bell rang and she flew off down the hall where I spotted one of her friends waiting to poof downstairs with her.
Geometry class was all a big blur to me. The teacher rambled on about mathematical equations and geometric figures while my thoughts drifted back to my lovely little twit. With a low self esteem and naive nature she would be easy enough to coax into a relationship. Yes I was quite certain that she would be mine by the end of next week. From that moment until the lunch bell rang I was lost in my daydreams, soaring about with a sweet disposition beauty whose swirly blue hair waved in the wind.
...End of Flashback...
Amanda/Artiste: Aww, Anti-Cosmo reluctantly realized that he'd fallen for Anti-Wanda, and Timmy had to listen to the whole thing! XD Next Chapter: Anti-Cosmo has a rival for Anti-Wanda's affection and things could get ugly fast. And if that's not enough to push the evil genius to his breaking point a couple of thugs looking for a geek to bully might just do the trick. As always, reviews would be appreciated.
Anti-Luther: Hehe, a couple of thugs huh? Gee boss that sounds like us.
Anti-Binky: Of course it's us you dummy! Geez why'd I ever let a clueless idiot like you team up with me in the first place?
Anti-Luther: Um...because I came highly recommended?
Anti-Binky: I'm beginning to doubt the authenticity of those references you gave me.
Anti-Luther: Hey my karate instructor is a highly reputable woman!
Anti-Binky: :slaps his forehead: Karate instructor? I thought that was your grandma!