17th August

12:00

The kitchen

Mutti and Vati are out with Uncle Eddie and a few of mutti's aerobics mates. Gee's out with Dave. Me? I'm just in the kitchen, looking for some breakfast. We never have anything.

12:05

A pack of jelly babies, some bread and a bottle of out-of-date whipped cream. Yum.

Two minutes later

Phones ringing,

"Bex, for the final time, I do not care how hot Josh is!" I said.

"Um, hi to you too, Libby."

Bloody hell! It's Josh.

"Oh, err, hi Josh. Bex isn't here, but you can call her if you-"

"No, I want to talk to you, Libby. If that's alright."

"Okay, why?"

"Oh, well, see I was just wondering if you're still coming tonight."

"Unless my pantalitzer doll's head jumps out of the cupboard and eats me alive. Cos if I didn't, Bex would eat me alive."

He laughed. Josh doesn't look the same, but his laugh hasn't changed.

"Well, see you tonight Libbs. My mate Tyler is great fun. He's really looking forward to meeting you and Bex."

"Bye Josh."

6:00pm

In my room

Daniela's party starts in one hour and the date starts in two. Am standing in front of the mirror wearing my undies. Would nicking one of my sister's bras make my nungas look bigger, or would it just fall down and make me look like I have 4?

6:12

Georgia came into my room (when I was wearing my netted t-shirt and leather skirt, luckily)

"Hi Gee." I said,

"What happened to Ginger?" she said,

"Georgia, in case you haven't noticed, I am 14, not 3."

"And I'm 23, not 14, but I've not changed, eh Libbs?"

"Yeah," I said, "I mean, you still have the cosmic horn for about 20 boys, you still have oversized nungas, oh, and you still have a conk the size of Jupiter."

6:34

"Dad," I said, "Can you drop me at Daniela's at 7, pick me up and take me to the movies at 8, pick me up from there at half 10 and take me back to Dannie's until 11?"

"No." he says

Why do I waste my breath on him?

Ten minutes later

I repeated this to Mutti and she answered the exact same. My breath is tired. I will relax it with my favourite, out-of-date cream. Then I will try to figure out my plan.

Two minutes later

Done. Dave the laugh came over and Georgia wasn't in. I told him ALL about my little Hannah Montana stunt and he says he'll take me.

6:50

In Dave's car

My dress is in the back. Nearly at Dannie's.

Two minutes later

Have just got out the car. OMIGIDDYGODSPYJAMASWITHKNOBSON! I can see Josh walking to Daniela's house!

"Hi Libby. Going to the party?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know you were."

"Libby, I've known Daniela for years, you know that."

"But what about the date?"

"Oh, well Bex said that she had a friends party to go to and we're going next week."

Then along came Bex.

7:09

Home

My feet are literally killing me. Am lying in my bed of pain. Try running six blocks in high heels. Bex saw me and said,

"Libby, how did you know the date was cancelled? I phoned you, but your mum said you'd just left for Daniela's!"

"Um, Lucky guess?" I shrugged.

"I told her." Josh said. Wrong answer.

"And how did you have her number, but not mine? Wait a second, THAT'S why you wanted Libby to come on our date! That's why you even asked me out! Josh, forget next week, I never want to see either of you again!"

She stormed off into Dannie's house.

"Sorry, Josh." I said, "She can be a bit of a drama queen, she'll probs call you in ten minutes."

"I don't care if she calls." said Josh, "But if you called, that would be a different story…"

Then he kissed me. And not just a quick mate kiss on the cheek, a real number 4 kiss. It was just like when we were 4, except he wasn't crying. Then he tried to skip to number 6, but I pulled away and started running home. So now my nursery school snogging partner has appeared again, got a date with my best mate and then tried to snog me. Oh Merdi and spotty Dick!