A/N: This was co-written by me, (Magdalync) and Melody (Harmne) in response to my 'Natural Woman' chapter and Melody's one-shot 'Stephanie in LesterLand'. Hope this satisfies your curiosity! As always, thanks to Alf for being my loyal beta and friend. Melody and I would like to thank all of our fabulous reviewers … this chapter is dedicated to you!

Aftermath

The phone rang in the RangeMan Control room. Tank was busy so Brett picked it up, glancing at the caller ID.

"Hal! Hey, buddy, where are you? You're going to be late if you don't move it."

"Sick," croaked Hal's voice on the other end of the line. "Flu got me … throwing up."

"Oh, man! You need anything?"

"Ask Lester to cover my shift. Let Stephanie know--." His voice broke off into coughing, and Brett could barely hear him.

"Sure, no problem. I'll ask Les if he can cover your shift, and let Tank know you're sick."

"Gotta—*ulk*" and then the line went dead.

Brett shrugged and hung up, then called Lester. Lester sounded a little bummed, as he'd hoped to go out tonight for the first time since he'd been sick, but he understood. Hal had put in extra hours when he and other guys were sick. Brett just hoped this particular bug only went around once – it had been a pain.

Assured Lester would be on deck in a few minutes, Brett hung up and went to find Tank and let him know about the schedule change.

He forgot all about telling Steph.

*****

Stephanie buckled her belt and headed to the bathroom to pull her hair back into a ponytail, out of the way. Then she stepped back and looked at herself.

Her cargo pants were a little loose in the waist, but the belt took care of that. She'd persuaded Ella to get her some longer shirts, and she had this one tucked in neatly. Her new boots were much easier to run in, and not nearly as heavy as her old ones. All in all she looked pretty good – more like an employee that knew what they were doing and a little less like RangeMan Barbie.

Not that Ranger had minded the Barbie look, but now that they were married she tried hard not to look unprofessional when she was wearing RangeMan's uniform. Her lips quirked. Of course, when she was in regular clothes all bets were off!

She picked up her utility belt and stuffed her small wallet and phone in her pockets before heading for the door. She was glad to help out, and immensely grateful that so far she'd managed to escape the flu bug going around, but she'd be glad when everyone was back to one hundred percent. At least by the time she got home Ranger would be back from Boston. She'd missed him last night.

Everything was fine and she was feeling pretty good until she walked into Tank's office and found not Hal, but Lester waiting for her.

Well, crap!

*****

Staring out into the darkness, Lester hunched down into the driver's seat a bit and drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel. He started to speak, then stopped. Then he took another breath and said, "So, uh, you guys pulled the goalie?"

He didn't turn to look at Steph but he could tell she was staring at him. Glancing quickly at her, he saw that she was frowning at him in confusion. Facing forward, he tried again. "You and Ranger."

She still didn't say anything. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he blurted, "You're trying to get knocked up? Shit. I didn't mean it to come out that way. I just-"

"You know about that?"

He glanced over at Steph and saw that she was looking at him with vulnerability in her eyes. And for just a second he remembered the way Ranger looked at him in the bathroom, the way he kissed Steph's forehead. Clearing his throat, he looked out the windshield and said, "I ... I mean you got your period and I guess I freaked a little." He smiled to himself a moment. "And between my freaking out about being in your body, trying to avoid your husband's sexual advances, and coming to grips with your hormones, I just blurted out that I'd gotten my period. Ranger said something about how you guys just started trying and ...That guy loves you a lot, Steph."

"Yeah, I know," Steph said softly, her small smile a little shaky around the edges. "Um, Les… Did he … did he sound disappointed?"

Shifting a little in his seat, Lester said, "You know Ranger. Even if he was disappointed, he didn't want you to focus on that. He was very ... shit." He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and muttered, "I told him I loved him."

Steph turned towards him, her eyes wide. "You did? Oh, Lester, that's so sweet!" She smiled at him for a moment longer, then she finally seemed to notice his discomfort. "Ah … I guess discovering you got your period was a little strange for you, huh?"

Lester chuckled. "You could say that." The right side of his mouth kicked up a fraction. "But now I know you're a naughty little vixen."

She was suddenly grateful for the darkness because she was pretty sure her face was flaming. "W-what do you mean?"

"You're waxed smooth as a baby's bottom, Bombshell." He made tsking noises and said, "You've been a bad, bad girl. Fiona Apple's got nothin' on you!"

"You touched me?" she said indignantly, then remembered he hadn't exactly had a choice. "Well, buddy, you don't have room to talk. You've done a little man-scaping yourself. People that live in glass houses…"

Lester gave up all pretense of watching the house and swiveled in his seat. He raised one eyebrow and said, "Damn right I manscape. So you took a tour of the property, did you? Doesn't bother me a bit. In fact, it kind of turns me on. But you know about being turned on don't you? Once Ranger pays the least amount of attention to your little 'on' button, you're like a cat in heat! A simmering volcano ... a geyser about to-"

"You should talk! EVERYTHING gets your thingy all excited! Water, vibrating cell phones—" She broke off, her eyes going huge as a thought struck her. How would he know…? "Wait a minute! Did you-- Oh my god! Did you have sex with my husband?!"

"No! Not for lack of trying on his part. That man's a menace!" Lester shifted back to face front again and gripped the wheel. "He had his hands all over me, rubbing my… He rounded third," his voice dropped slightly, "and started sliding into home…but I stopped him. I swear!"

"What do you mean 'started sliding into home'?"

Lester slapped his hands to his face and kept them there. "He's really good with his hands, Steph. I knew it was wrong … but it was like my loins – or your coochie – was on fire and there was this ache-"

"I know all about the ache, Lester. No need to go on. So how did you resist?"

"It – um – hurt."

"He didn't try the 'I swear I was aiming for the other hole' line, did he?"

Lester dropped his hands in shock. "Jesus, no! He didn't try that, thank Christ. He was in the, uh, usual place… but – it, ah, hurt. You're so small…"

"I think I'm normal. It's that we, um, played a lot that night. And anyway, he's kinda huge."

"Oh, come on! He's no bigger than me."

"Lester. I've had 'hands-on' experience with your thingy. You are more than adequately endowed … but Ranger's penis is magnificently huge."

"What do you mean by 'hands-on experience'?"

Stephanie blushed and stammered as she back-peddled. "Er, uh … I had to pee."

"The only way you could compare is erect."

"Morning wood?"

"I know my morning wood. I have to sit down to pee. It goes down to half-staff after that, but when I get into the shower-" He broke off and smiled evilly at Steph. "You waxed my pole! Spanked my monkey! Cleaned my pipes!" He chortled, shifted in his seat uncomfortably and adjusted himself. "I can die a happy man now. Jesus, I'm getting hard just thinking about it."

Just then, Stephanie's cell phone rang the Batman theme. She scowled at Lester before answering the call.

"Hey, sweetheart! Are you home? I missed you last night."

Ranger said nothing, but she could hear him taking slow, deep breaths and she could swear that she could smell the testosterone emanating from the phone.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Did somebody piss in your wheat-germ this morning?"

"Don't push me, Babe." His growl fairly throbbed with anger.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes," he bit off succinctly.

"Are you going to elaborate?"

"Pole."

"Uh-huh. I'm going to need a little more than that, sweetie."

"Spanked." This time he pronounced the word with exaggerated care.

Stephanie turned in her seat away from Lester and whispered, "I just didn't want to do the naughty school girl thing all the time. I told you, it's best saved for special occasions."

"Pipes." He was back to pissed-off growling.

Steph pulled the phone away from her ear and frowned at it. What was his problem? Suddenly, the pieces started clicking. Oh, shit!! "Um … are you monitoring the car?"

"Yes."

"The whole time?"

"No."

"I thought Xander was monitoring surveillance tonight."

"Seems Xander needed a break. Just not your lucky day, is it Babe?"

"It's not what you think! I know you think you know what you thought you understood, but what you heard was not what we were talking about! I think …or what you think you heard wasn't-"

"Put Santos on the phone."

"Absolutely not."

Ranger cut loose with a tirade of Spanish. She had no idea what he was saying, but it went on and on and it sounded deadly fierce. If the situation wasn't so seriously screwed up she'd be more than a little turned on. Lester was squirming in his seat trying to eavesdrop so Stephanie hit the speakerphone button.

Listening to Ranger's blistering spiel, Lester's eyes grew wide and he said, "Hey, hey, hey! There's a lady present! And you're going off half-cocked." Too late, he realized that was a very poor choice of words. Ranger resumed his rant.

Stephanie yelled, "Ricardo Carlos Manoso, you listen to me right now!"

The tirade cut off abruptly. Silence rang through the car.

Stephanie cleared her throat and said, "Remember Diesel?"

Bitterly, Ranger said, "Why, did you wax his pole too?"

"How dare—I'm going to pretend you didn't say that!"

Ranger was silent a moment. With remorse in his voice he said, "I'm sorry. You just… I'm just… shit. What about Diesel?"

"You understand that there are things that happen that can't be explained?"

He grunted in response.

"I…"

Lester cut in. "What Steph's trying to say is that four days ago I woke up inside Stephanie's body."

Ranger roared through the phone at the same time Stephanie smacked Lester upside the head.

"Honey … listen to me! Listen! I woke up in Lester's body and he woke up in mine. I have no idea what happened, but we somehow switched bodies."

"Steph, how stupid do you think I am?"

Lester said, "Do you really think we'd make up this shit? I know it's hard to believe, but I can tell you everything that happened that morning. I woke up with your dick knocking like an Avon lady on my back door. You were in the mood to get busy. We made out … no mouth kissing, thank Christ, and then you stopped because I said I was too sore. Then I got my period. Then you tried to get me in the shower with you and asked me to suck your-"

"Babe! Do you tell him everything?"

"I didn't tell him anything! It's the truth! Did you see Lester that morning?"

"Xander and I went to his apartment because he overslept his break."

"Was he curled up with your pillowcase on his pillow wearing one of your shirts and a lime green thong?"

There was a ringing moment of silence. "Maybe."

"Do you really think he'd admit that to me?"

Ranger mulled that over for a few minutes. Then he made a gagging noise and said, "He touched my dick."

Stephanie's head jerked around and she stared at Lester wide-eyed.

"Dude … it seemed like the thing to do at the time! As soon as I realized-"

"I'm hanging up now."

Stephanie said, "Are we okay?"

Ranger sighed. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Babe, I need to watch some porn or something. Do some deprogramming. Bleach my brain."

Lester snickered at that and Stephanie gave him a backhand to the chest.

"But it was my body! You didn't do anything gay. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. Some of my best friends are gay!"

"Babe."

"What?"

He disconnected.

Stephanie turned to Lester and said, "Well, I think he took that rather well, considering."