(A.N.): Sorry it took so long, I didn't know how to add chapters. Please be nice with the reviews! This is the first time that I've EVER written ANYTHING other than poems, so I might not be good at this.
Disclaimer: I don't even own this laptop.
Again. It seemed like a lot of things in my life were repeating themselves now a days. I was left-again. We found a spirit user-again. I have to see dead bodies – again. I tried to fall in love again. And it failed miserably- again. Well at least I was the only one hurt by it this time.
No. I shouldn't lie to myself. A lot of people are being hurt by this. Eddie's hurt because I shut him out, even though I only do that so that he won't feel the need to protect me from my boyfriend. My boyfriend feels guilty for what he's done. And Lissa's hurt by guilt because she thinks I get all of these injuries for her, training to be her guardian, when rely, I get them trying to defend myself against Alex during one of his "dark" moments. Sometimes I just sit and try to figure out who got their pleasure in watching my world come crashing down, in making me the sick joke. Once I find that person I can start planning their murder- preferably something long and painful. I want to chop them up into little piece while their hearts still bleeding then boil them in their own blood. Or maybe that's just my own darkness rearing its ugly little head. Sometimes it got so bad that I would just want to through my head back and scream. I wouldn't even understand why. It would be a sudden urge to do something that I would later was crazy, but I would want to. Then I would think 'Lissa' and I would just barley stop myself. I know that soon I won't be able to stop myself, like Alex isn't able to stop himself, and that scares me more than I am willing to admit.
It has been two months now. Two months since Dimitri left, two months since I met Danny and Alex, two months since I started dating Alex and two months since his darkness reared its ugly head and he started, since he started everything. I wouldn't put up with it if I didn't know how hard it was to go through. But I do, so I take his crap. I'm strong enough for it. The abuse, the pleading for forgiveness, the threats, the gifts, the over protectiveness, the jealousy. Everything.
"Earth to Rose," Lissa startled me out of my train of thought and I jumped in surprise.
"Ya, Liss?"I asked, not really paying attention.
"I asked you if you could get my breakfast for me, since I need to go to the feeding room. Just a banana and a juice, please. I'll meet you at the table when I'm done"
"Sure, 'course, have fun," I mumbled as I saw who I knew all along I'd have to face, but was dreading all the same.
"Hey, Love." Alex said as he came up next to me in the line.
I forced myself to give him a smile. "Hi, how are you doing today?" I asked him, concerned about both myself and him.
"I'm good, stop worrying so much." He said easily, shooting me a dazzling smile.
"I'm glad," I said brightly, and the smile came to my lips easier this time, automatically. He did seem okay. For now.
He seemed to sense the release in tension, and in response, his own smile widened. He grabbed my hand and nudged me forward, so that we could continue in the line for our food.