CHAPTER 4 MEG'S NEW FRIENDS
Meg is at school again, but today is going to be different. As Meg walks down the hall, Connie whispered her name from the closed bathroom. Meg decided to walk in, knowing it was a risk.
"Meg? I have decided to attempt to be friends with you."
"You know what Connie? You have caused me so much pain. I know you are just going to embarrass me. So you know what? You can go screw yourself!"
"Meg, I am being serious. I want to secretly be your friend. You are extremely ugly, but I can change that."
"Wow Connie! This is so exciting! All my friends dumped me earlier, so I have been more lonely than Lindsey Lohan."
CUTAWAY
(Lindsey Lohan is at a party with nothing but guys, she cannot do anything because she is a lesbian.)
"So Meg, how about you come to my house and I will give you a makeover? I will make you look better than that octuplet mom after she had surgery."
"Wow she is so pretty!" said Meg.
"Meg, that is what a lesbian would say, but oh I forgot you ar…. I'm sorry. I'm not used to this whole nice thing."
Later that night, Meg got ready to go over to Connie's house.
"Meg? What the hell are you doing?"
"I am going over to Connie's dad."
"Since when do you have friends?"
"Since Connie has decided to be nice to me."
"What is wrong with the world?"
"MOM!"
"What is it Meg?"
"Dad is being a jerk!"
"Meg! I told you! As long as you continue to be fugly, no one is going to be nice to you!"
"That's not true. I'm going over to Connie's tonight and she is going to give me a makeover!'
"I'm surprised she has not killed herself yet," exclaimed Peter.
Meg then went upstairs only to find a guy from the football team raiding her bedroom. He saw her and jumped out her now broken window. Meg ran to Connie's house to see if she knew anything. Connie says she has no idea, but she has a worried look on her face. She then quickly starts the makeover. Then after she starts she gets a phone call and talks about messing them up good. Chris then shows up saying he was invited here for a makeover. Meg is upset until Connie says it's okay. She then resumes the makeover, but then a rock hits her window. Meg jumped and Chris wet himself. Connie opened the window, whispered and went downstairs. When she got back she told Meg to take off her shirt as part of the makeover. She wouldn't do it because Chris was there. Connie said that Chris would need to take off his pants. As soon as they did, a camera flashed and Connie now had pictures of Meg, who has no boobs, and Chris, whose penis is so large it's freakish and sick.