Chapter Four

Chapter Four, Two Hungry Pilots

Authors notes

Ok , I am not that great at writing humorous stuff but I decided to give it a shot. You will probably notice that the first part isn't real funny because I didn't decide to try my hand at it 'till I was halfway through. I hope you like this, though I don't know how funny you will find it.

All was quiet, or so it seemed for the Star Fox team, at least what was left of it.

"Falco, how are you holding up? Over." Fox spoke into his headset.

"Just wonderful, over" Falco replied in a dull sarcastic manner.

"I don't see anyone on the radar, however there is a planet ahead, over" Fox continued, choosing to ignore the sarcasm.

"Yeah, I see it too, over" Falco confirmed a bit dryly. He was sick of space by then. They had been running away from the Star Wolf team for over a week. The Star Wolf team had taken out all but Falco and Fox and they were both in desperate need of fuel and ammunition. Not to mention that the lack of food, air and water was wearing on them.

"Head there, maybe we can find a place to fuel up, over" Fox ordered. He too was tired of running, but there was little other option. Their small crafts were beat up so bad it was amazing they even worked. It was beginning to look like Wolf just might get the better of them this time.

"We might find someone else who wants you dead, over" Falco said in a slightly more serious manner.

"Either way we can't stay up here anymore, over" Fox said not wanting to get into an argument with him at the moment. Falco seemed to agree for he said nothing to counter him, for the moment anyway.

"Does it sound like I want to? Over" Falco said. It was apparent he was trying to keep his temper. He knew perfectly well that Fox could not help their situation and getting angry wouldn't help anything. Fox did not reply.

--

Falco and Fox soon stood on solid ground, Falco breathed in a long breath of fresh air.

"Fresh air never smeled so nice" he said, feeling all together in a better mood now that there was more air to breath. Fox said nothing; he was busy scanning the area.

"We need to get moving, I don't think Wolf will be far behind." Fox said looking back at Falco.

"Whatever, I could use a walk anyway" Falco shrugged and followed Fox. At the moment he was just glad to be out in the open air and he didn't care much where they went. They were heading towards a vast forest, of sorts. It looked dead and grey with only specks of green or yellow.

"Hey Fox, look's like there's a town out that way" Falco called, Fox turned to see where he was pointing. They could barely see the tops of buildings between the grey trees.

"Maybe we can find some food? I don't know about you but I am starving." Falco went on, without a second thought he headed in that direction. Fox for a moment didn't move, until his stomach made an odd sort of growl.

"Apparently, I agree" Fox said with a slight smirk before he went after Falco.

--

It was a good twenty or more minutes before the two reached the town. When they did, it looked worse then the forest where they had been heading. The town looked deserted and lifeless, not even a bug could be seen.

"This place is peculiar" Falco strained in a whisper of sorts, as if he was afraid someone might hear him.

"Oh come on Falco, you're not afraid of some ghost town now are you?" Fox asked but even he spoke in a quieter tone.

"No, of course not. I simply meant that it's odd how quiet and dead everything looks" Falco noted, probably a little too quickly. Fox smirked and continued walking farther into the town, suddenly he stopped and looked down, he had stepped in something soft. His foot had sunk into something sticky and red, Fox quickly stepped back realizing what it was. The gray dust had covered it at first but now they could both see the red sticky substance. As Fox crouched down the musty smell of blood filled his nostrils and sent an ominous chill down his back. The blood should have been dry a long time ago. Something had caused it to remain gummy.

"Blood" Fox muttered then looked ahead. He could now see several similar areas were the gray dirt had covered blood and who knows what else. Some areas were lumpier than others. Fox wasn't about to uncover whatever was there. Falco looked behind them

"Wolf won't be having any trouble finding us now". Two pair of flawless footprints followed them to where they now stood. Fox looked back as well.

"Well in that case let's get as far away from here as possible" Fox said rising to his feet again. It was then that he noticed what looked like a box covered in grey dirt, for a moment he thought it had moved. Shrugging it off he headed down a street to their left that headed back into a forest, at least their tracks wouldn't be as visible.

"I'm still starving" Falco complained but followed anyway.

"Unless you want to start searching those deserted houses, we don't have anything" Fox said slightly annoyed. He was hungry too.

"I'm not big on eating dirt" Falco said glancing at the sides of the buildings.

--

By mid day Fox and Falco had stopped moving. Falco had conveniently pointed out that they were both exhausted and they wouldn't be able to fight when Wolf showed up.

"It was your idea" Fox said in an annoyed tone, he was looking up at Falco who was hanging upside down from the branch of a tree, a rope around his ankle.

"Yeah but you could have at least told me where you hid the rope" Falco said, still annoyed. His jacket had fallen down over the back of his head. The only thing that kept it from falling was his wings that were folded over his chest.

"Well excuse me for hiding it better than you did the first time" Fox said becoming more irritable, normally he would have reacted calmly but the situation was stressful, not to mention the lack of nourishment. Falco scowled at him.

"Well at least I didn't get the brilliant idea to walk around in circles 'till our feet gave out" Falco shot back, his temper getting the better of him. Fox glared back. He drew out his gun and aimed up.

"Whoa! Hey, no need for violence" Falco hastily said putting his arms out as if to stop him, but this did little good as his shirt promptly fell part way over his face and his jacket completely fell off. Fox could not help but to start laughing at the ridiculous bird. Falco flailed in mid air for a moment, attempting to get his shirt right again.

"Shut up! This isn't funny!" Falco yelled as he held his shirt up.

"I'm sorry but you look so ridiculous" Fox said while trying to suppress laughing. Fox could not seem to maintain his composure. Falco glared down at him, one leg dangling, the other still attached to the branch. Instead of shooting the rope to break it, this time Fox went to the base of the tree and untied the knot. Falco promptly plummeted toward the ground. Fox only just caught the rope in time, stopping Falco from breaking his neck on impact with the ground.

"Be careful you dunce!" Falco said still not in the best of moods. Fox's smile faded and he let go of the rope letting Falco fall the last few inches to the ground. Falco tumbled over on himself, but quickly righted himself. As soon as he had, Fox jerked on the rope as hard as he could pulling Falco right off his feet again.

"Dunce? You're the one caught in your own trap" Fox mocked looking down at him. Falco glared as he quickly pulled the rope off and stood up.

"It's not my trap, you laid it out" Falco pointed out

"But it was your idea" Fox countered, Falco just glared for a moment then changed the subject

"We aren't getting anything done by arguing"

"You were the one dangling from a tree, not me" Fox said as he turned away to set up more traps for Wolf, which at this rate were turning out to do them more harm than Wolf. Falco grabbed up his jacket and put it back on in a huff. Picking up a small rock he chucked it at the back of Fox's head. Fox spun around and had his mouth open to speak, but he abruptly stopped, staring instead at the only living thing either of them had seen since arriving. A tiny mouse scurried between them, Falco had his eyes on it as well and at this rate the mouse looked to them like a ten course meal.

Both dived for the poor mouse at the same moment, but instead of catching it they collided into each other. Fox ignored the impact of Falco's beak to his nose and instead began scrambling to catch the mouse along with Falco, both forgetting their annoyance with each other. At that moment a shadow fell over both of them. Seeing it they abruptly stopped. Fox's fingers only just had the mouse's tail. Almost at the exact same moment the two star pilots rolled over and had their guns facing up. Much to their surprise the figure that stood over them was taller than Wolf and was laughing. Falco and Fox jumped to their feet to find themselves looking at a young man that could not be any older then sixteen. Falco suddenly spoke

"Way to go Fox you let it get away" he grumbled. Fox looked at him then down at the ground

"Drat" he grumbled under his breath and then turned back to the newcomer.

"State your name and purpose" Fox said commanded, as if he was back in charge of a team, which of course the newcomer was not part of.

"Red's the name" he said and stuck out a small hand. He had a big smile on his face and shaggy brown hair. Fox decided there was no harm in this young fellow so he tucked away his gun and shook the boy's offered hand.

"Who are you guys? You're hilarious" Red said looking at the two rather disheveled pilots.

"I am Fox McCloud, leader of the Star Fox team, and this is my sidekick and friend Falco Lambardi" he said in the most dignified voice he could muster after chaseing a mouse. Falco fallowed suit and put away his gun and shook the boy's hand.

"What were you guy's doing anyway? I saw you had him dangling in a tree" Red said indicating Falco. Falco abruptly spoke up.

"That was entirely his fault" Falco said pointing at Fox

"My fault?! It was your idea" Fox said irritated again.

"Calm down guys, don't start that argument again" Red cut in.

"And who are you to tell us what to do?!" Falco screeched, his temper again getting the better of him

"I wasn't.."

"You were too, don't you try and deny it kid, or I'll string you up that tree by your ridiculously large feet" Falco interrupted

"Look, I didn't come here to………" again Falco interrupted.

"It's a fight you want?! Well bring it" Falco said swiping out his gun again.

"No I……." Red began but was for the third time cut short

"What, are you afraid of me?" Falco said, his temper was not helping the situation

"Falco, calm down, he doesn't want to fight……" Fox began

"Let the kid talk for himself" Falco snapped, Fox smacked his forehead shaking his head.

"Alright if it's a fight you want I'll give it to you, and my feet are not ridiculously large" Red added. He then reached back and pulled a red and white ball from his yellow pack.

"Go Charzard!" Red shouted as he tossed the ball, a glow suddenly emitted from it and a large reddish orange dragon appeared. It gave a loud roar and took a step closer to Falco who was completely surprised. However he did not hesitate to fire at it. Charzard leapt into the air avoiding the shot. It jumped right over Falco and landed with a crash behind him. Falco spun around but too late, the dragon whacked him with it's tail sending Falco flying into the trees.

"Hold it kid, Falco isn't in great shape and not in a good mood. Don't hold it against him" Fox explained. Red looked at him a moment then nodded. Then he looked back at the dragon.

"Get Back!" he shouted, the dragon disappeared again, back into the small red and white ball.

Fox ran after Falco and found him sitting on the ground rubbing his head with a groan.

"Falco, you ok?" Fox asked hoping his friend would still be able to fight when Wolf showed up.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine" he said waving Fox off, he stumbled to his feet. It was of little use as he nearly fell over again. Fox caught him before he fell completely over.

"I canstilltake im" Falco slurred his protest pulling away from Fox, but he had only taken two steps before he dropped to the ground, unconscious. Fox shook his head looking down at Falco, with a sigh, he looked up at Red as he walked over.

"He has serious anger management problems" Red diagnosed, looking down at Falco.

"You have no idea" Fox said looking back at Falco.