Six miles. Such a minimal distance from his apartment, yet his mother's house couldn't have felt farther away from him these past few months if it had been on Pluto. He had questioned his decision to finally make this visit when he'd gotten up in the morning, but had pushed through with the conviction that it was never going to get any easier. As he drove the familiar route to his childhood home, he had to pull over twice to regroup. When he reached his old street, it was all he could do to keep from turning around and going back to his apartment. The flood of memories from before was almost overwhelming to the person he was now. But it was time. He knew it was time. What he had done by keeping this secret for months would be considered inexcusable in most people's eyes, and the longer he waited the worse it was going to get. His thinking had evolved so much in the last few days, as if he had been shot out of a cannon and was flying over his own life on a trajectory that was already giving him a totally different perspective about his situation. Having the MRI and the sleep study behind him had cleared some of the messy clutter from his mental and emotional plate, and made him able to see things with a bit more objectivity. With this new outlook came a better understanding of just how bad it was to have kept his family in the dark about his whereabouts.

He knew if this visit went wrong, it could set him back significantly, but so far things had been easier than he'd anticipated and he hoped his luck would hold. He had already faced so much in the past few days; it gave him just enough confidence to risk the encounter.

He pulled up to the curb a few doors down from the house and sat in the truck for a good half hour. The neighborhood looked the same. The two storey house where he had grown up was immaculately maintained, and the flower beds were freshly planted with colorful pansies and an assortment of other flowers he couldn't identify by name. His mom had always loved flowers, and had spent many spring days contentedly on her knees with her fingers in the dirt as she lovingly created an eye-catching array every year. Memories rushed in, and a wave of sadness overcame him, mostly from a sense that he could never be here again with that same light-hearted naivete he had enjoyed as a boy. Everyone grows up and moves away from that, of course. He realized that, and he remembered that old saying, You can't go home again. But his fall from innocence had been so much more violent and abrupt than most, and he felt compelled to give it a few moments of silence.

Finally, he realized that sitting there was not making it any easier. He got out of his truck and walked slowly over to the house, climbed the steps to the porch, and rang the bell. The frenzied bark of a Golden Retriever resounded from inside, and he smiled as he heard the dog skid into the door in paroxysms of excitement.

He could hear footsteps and his mom's voice as she approached. "All right, Lucy. Calm down. Let's see who it is..." The door opened slowly. "Owen!" Her face lit up with surprise and she grabbed him in a fierce hug. Owen returned the hug, and the realization hit him.

She knows.

They held on to each other for several minutes, not speaking, just letting the emotions flow between them as they hung on tightly. The dog was all over them, frantically trying to wedge her nose in between them, jumping up, and generally making a nuisance of herself. Owen finally had to release his mother in favor of squatting down to give the dog her due. It was a welcome distraction from the flood of feelings that was threatening to overwhelm him as he fully registered that he had really gone ahead and taken this step. The dog was beside herself with delight and jumped up into his face, knocking him on his ass and showering him with sloppy doggy kisses. He buried his face in her fur and allowed a couple of the tears he'd been holding back all morning to release themselves into her coat. "Hey, Lucy girl, how's it going?" In all his angst over returning home he had forgotten about how much he missed the damn dog.

Finally his mom spoke. "This is such a surprise, Owen. Did you just get back?"

And it hit him again. She definitely knows. She was a lousy liar, and he had no patience for dancing around this now that he was finally here. The dog was settling down a bit, and he got up and faced the woman who had birthed him and who was now lying through her teeth. "How long have you known?"

She tried to keep up the facade for a split second, then gave up with an uncomfortable smile. "I never could keep anything from you, could I? Well, don't just stand here on the porch. Come on in." She turned and led the way into the house. Her outward demeanor was calm, but she was exuding nervous energy and it was making Owen jumpy; he hoped that once they cleared the air, it would dissipate. She had grabbed hold of his hand as if she couldn't believe he was actually there, and they both sat down on the living room couch. The house looked the same, though smaller - a sensation he had had before when returning after a long time away. Nothing had changed.

"How long, Mom?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Oh, that Beth..." she waved her hand dismissively, "she came racing right over here as soon as she saw you at the hospital. She was very upset, Owen. Wanted me to march over there and bring you to your senses. I think she still hoped you two could make it work. Thought I could browbeat you into it."

Owen shook his head in disbelief. What a childish little bitch his ex had turned out to be. She had to know it would destroy his mother to find out this way, but she was too selfish to think about anyone but herself. He had known he was well rid of her, but this nailed the coffin good and shut.

"But you didn't do it. You didn't come after me. Why not?"

"I won't say I wasn't tempted. I was furious when I found out you had let your poor mother worry all those months for nothing. But I know you, Owen. Even as a little boy, you were always the most considerate of my children. And when I thought about it, I figured you must have a very good reason for staying away. I knew you'd come back when you were ready."

Owen was flooded with a mixture of gratitude and regret. Tears stung his eyes and he blinked them back. How had he doubted her all these months? She was so much stronger than he'd given her credit for. In the end, she'd believed in him so much more than he'd believed in her.

She continued, "Besides, just knowing you were back in the States and safe was a big comfort to me. I didn't want to rush you. And I was right, because here you are - of your own free will." Her eyes teared up at this last statement, and she looked away. Owen was overcome with emotion as well and he pulled her into a tight hug. The dog whined and pawed at them, always upset at being excluded, and he reached a hand down to pat her head, the other still firmly holding his mom close. They held each other for several moments before breaking apart and continuing.

"Explain one thing to me, Mom. I've called you every week and pretended I was still over there. How did you manage to not let on that you knew?"

She gave him a knowing look. "Probably the same way you managed to lie to me every week and think you were getting away with it. I think we hear what we want to hear... And the phone is easier. I think it's my face that gives me away."

Owen nodded. She was probably right. "Mom, a lot has happened. I... I haven't been dealing with it so well. It's... changed me."

"And?"

"And... I didn't want to disappoint you. I don't know if I'll ever be the same. No, strike that... I know I'll never be the same."

He didn't know what he had expected her reaction to be. Pity? Rejection? Minimizing what he'd just said? Or maybe just a blank look of incomprehension... He got none of those.

She just stared at him in bemused silence for a moment, quirked an eyebrow at him, and finally said, "So?"

Owen couldn't help himself. Her impression of him was so dead-on that he burst out laughing, and she joined in. God, he had missed her. His relief was so tangible he barely knew what to do with it. With this reunion, and her acceptance of him as he was in this moment, a piece of his heart shifted back into place that he hadn't even realized was missing. He had made the cardinal error of seriously underestimating her, this woman with the spine of steel who had raised him and his younger sisters on her own after his father's untimely death. She had been devastated with grief, but had kept her sense of humor even then. Why had he jumped to the conclusion she was too fragile to handle the changes in him? When had she ever not been there for him when he'd needed her? It was an indication of how warped his thinking had become since his return that he would have believed she wasn't up to it and gone to such lengths to avoid seeing her. In the end, all he had accomplished was to make himself miserable for no good reason when he could have been drawing on her strength and love all along.

Staring now into her smiling eyes, he began to see the silver lining peeking out from the gathering storm clouds that had formed over his life in the past week. If not for the choking incident, he would not be sitting here right now, reunited with his mother. While he would gladly give up all the perks he had already received to go back and erase what he'd done to Cristina, he knew that was impossible. Given that, the fact that there was some good to come out of all this gave him hope for the future.