Chapter Eight: So Much for Reality.
The world outside the spare room Yoru had taken up was loud this morning. Cars honked loudly people chattered giving her no more rest. Groaning she sat up, her hair was messy and her pupil narrowed on contact with the light. "Another day of wondering how much longer I have to live." Yoru murmured. She wasn't her self today; a dream plagued her with unpleasant thoughts.
She quickly threw the thought from her mind as she heard some one knocking at the door. "Come in." The door opened with a soft squeak, Cloud peered into the room with a tired expression. "Yuffie, Tifa, and Marlene are down stairs waiting for you." She nodded covering her mouth with a yawn. "I understand, thank you Cloud." Cloud stared for a moment longer, as if trying to figure something out. "What's wrong Cloud?" Yoru's voice seemingly broke him from his trance as she crawled out of bed. "I don't understand how your personality could have warped so much from when we first met." His words where blunt, though to be expected of Cloud. "Things happened Cloud, and this is the result of it." She pushed open her closet doors glancing over her shoulder at Cloud who still stood there. "I liked the old Yoru better." Cloud commented childishly before leaving, the door clicking shut behind him.
Yoru stood for a moment in the silence of her room, the sound from outside seeming to fade. "Are you so blind Cloud? Can you really not see how much pain I am in just looking at you and remembering?" She turned from the door, brushing her fingers over the different clothes in her closet. "Yoru died when Zack did, I'm just a memory." She plucked a black tank top and tan cargo shorts from her closet and headed towards the hallway bathroom.
Marlene smiled brightly handing Yoru her light tan Chocobo leather jacket when she came down the steps. "Thanks Marlene, you're a real sweetie." She slipped her jacket on and Marlene grabbed her hand leading her outside where Yuffie and Tifa sat on the steps of the bar. "Hey girls." Yoru was obviously trying a little too hard to be cheery about this situation. In all actuality she wanted to be alone. She was happy to be back with some one who knew Zack as well as she had, if not better, but she wanted to let herself rot for not seeing the truth till now.
"Don't try so hard." Yuffie said smiling and standing up to meet Yoru with Tifa. "I know you're still sad about finding out about what Kadaj's gang was up to but you have to cheer up, okay?" Yoru looked down and nodded. "Okay." She murmured to herself. "Good, now let's go get breakfast then hit the road to Kalm town! It'll take a while to get there but I think it'll be worth it!" Kalm Town, that town haunted her more than anything. "No!" She yelled startling the three. "I won't go! Not if it's to Kalm Town!" Yuffie, about to say they would change their plans, never got a word in as Yoru released Marlene's hand and took off down the road on her sleek raven black motorcycle. "I don't understand what did we do wrong?" Marlene murmured looking up to Tifa with sad and confused eyes. "Yoru has a very fragile mind, it's best to just leave her be for now Marlene." Tifa said comforting the girl leading her back inside with Yuffie.
It was a long time before Yoru came to a stop at the gates of Midgar, they where left drawn open just as they had been nearly a month ago. "I'll leave, only for just a little." She murmured revving her motorcycle and heading through. The wind blew freely though her hair now, the warm sun kissing at her skin as the dirt bathed roads turned to grassy fields. She felt something tugging at her chest though when she glanced towards it she saw nothing. "Where is it you're going Yoru?" a voice echoed in her head. She knew it was not her own though she smiled at the bitter sweet remembrance of it. "It's been a long time since I've heard your voice, Zack, I must seriously be insane." She murmured speeding up and hoping to whatever cruel creator brought her here that the sound of the engine would drown it out.
"Go away, go away you're not real." She murmured to herself her hands clenching the handle bars. She loved Zack's voice, every different one of his tones made her heart flutter like a child's first crush. She loved his voice when it was happy and soft the most though. It was soft this time too, but in a different way. It was soft as if he w as dying, like he was taking his last breaths and using his last whips of energy to make his voice calm. "None of this is real; you're already gone so just go away." Her voice and mind where cracking, letting the voice become stronger, as if he where just behind her placing his hands over hers as she pressed the bike faster, testing it's limits.
She sped past the scenery of grassy hills forest and fields, the mountains drawing ever closer. Monsters of every sort lifted their heads if only for a moment to see if they should hurry out of the approaching motor bike's path. "Yoru, Slow down you'll hurt your self." His beautifully concerned voice wrapped around her mind. "What do you hope to accomplish by running from Midgar?" Her vision was becoming blurry. "I hope that no one will miss me, that I can find someplace where I can fall of the edge of the earth." The voice had left her and her grip loosened letting the bike slow to a stop. She was near Kalm town, and the tree where they had eaten their lunch under on her birthday still stood tall as a land mark. "You've stayed with them too long to be forgotten so quickly, you should have left sooner if that's what you wanted." She placed one hand on her head, rumpling her long silvery hair. "Shut up, just shut up!" She hissed, venom dripping from her voice now.
The voice did leave her, but she knew from past experiences that it would return later. She let the goggles that shielded her eyes fall down around her neck and placed her hand on the old weather worn bark of the tree. "You hold such painful memories." She whispered her eyes becoming clouded as she fell to her knees letting the tears pour over. "Zack, I miss you so much, it hurts so much seeing everything that I saw when I was with you again." The wind lightly kissed at her cheeks creating waves amongst the grass. "Yoru, I wasn't as gentle as you would hope. I killed people who where sons, who where fathers, who had families to return to." She looked up at the tree, as if it was the one talking to her. "Zack you were kind and gentle to me! That's all that mattered to me!" his voice remained silent and she leaned her head against the rough bark. "I don't care about anyone but you Zack, I can't." she turned pressing her cheek to the bark looking into the far off fields. "I'm so unstable without you Zack, I feel like I'm falling to pieces so damn slowly."
"Hurry up and realize that me and Sephiroth weren't the only ones that held a deep love for you." She looked back to the tree with a surprised look, her palms pressed against the tree to push herself up. "Don't say something so stupid, I was mean to everyone because I didn't want their love. I only wanted yours." The wind seemed to sigh as it kissed at her cheeks again.
His voice drew silent again and she closed her eyes just letting the world around her buzz silently like it always has. "Zack, say something." Her murmur went unanswered so she stood sliding her goggles back into place and going to her bike and bringing it to life with a quick rev. "Where are you going now?" Zack seemed chatty today; did he know what she had in mind? She didn't answer but swung her leg over her bike and revved it again making a U-turn around the tree and heading south of Kalm town and Midgar.
"You really don't know do you? You're hoping that something so drastic happens that you won't remember the pain. What you don't know is that there is no pain, and never was. Your wound has already healed and faded." Her eyes widened as she felt her hands loosen on the bike, the bike engine came to a halt and her hands released the bars, her body at the wind and earth's mercy. "Zack, I'm going to die aren't I?" she said feeling her body come closer and closer to the speeding earth beneath her. "No, you're not." The world around became blurry and black as she finally felt the grass and earth cling to her skin slowing her down.