Hey Guys! Sorry I've not updated in soooo long, my laptop broke and I just got it fixed.

Hope you like this chapter :)

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, only the storyline.

"You're pregnant? Honey, are you sure?" Rachel hugged her best friend tightly as she cried onto her shoulder. After a few minutes, Monica pulled away and wiped her eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing freely down her cheeks.

"Well I've not taken a test yet, but I'm pretty sure. I've noticed all the signs." She looked down at her hands which were clasped clasped tightly in her lap and tried to summon up some happiness at the thought that she may have a baby growing inside her. But as hard as she tried, all that she felt was fear and sadness.

"Mon, sweetie, you have to take a test. So that you can be sure." Monica nodded sadly, silently praying that she wouldn't be pregnant. Not because she didn't want a baby, but because she didn't want to have to raise Chandler's baby without him. She didn't know if she would be able to cope.

"And I want you to know that if you are pregnant, hon, we're all gonna be here for you. We're gonna help you through this." Monica nodded again, trying to force a smile but being unable to, knowing that there was only one person who would be able to help her through this.

"Rach, I can't look." Monica's hand was shaking as she handed the pregnancy test to Rachel, who hugged her tightly while she looked at the test. Her heart sank as she saw the result and felt her friends trembling body.

"Rachel?" Monica's small voice whispered through Rachel's hair.

"Honey ..." Rachel pulled away and looked Monica in the eyes, "It's positive."

"Oh my God." Monica suck to the ground, burying her face in her hands. She still had Chandler's jumper on and began crying harder as she breathed in the smell that she missed so much.

"Mon, this is a good thing, right? I mean, you've wanted a baby since you were what, five years old?" Rachel sat down next to her friend and wrapped her arms around her, resting her head on her chin.

"I have. And yeah, its supposed to be a good thing. But it's not." She was barely audible as she said these last few words, unable to speak as she was choked with tears.

"Do you wanna explain it to me? Or do you just need some time alone?" Rachel had to fight back her won tears. She hated seeing her best friend hurting so badly. Monica looked up at Rachel and locked eyes with her for a second. Rachel couldn't help a tear from escaping down her face when she saw the pain and sadness in Monica's eyes. In that moment she could have killed Chandler with her own two hands for doing this to Monica.

"Not yet." Monica shook her head as she leaned into Rachel's arms once again.

Chandler threw his bag down on the bed and sat on the edge of it, placing his head in his hands. He couldn't go back now. He had to let Monica live her life. He had to let her be with the guy who was obviously still the love of her life. The guy who wasn't Chandler. It was killing him inside, but he wanted Monica to be happy. He would do anything, anything, to make her happy. Even though he didn't know what he would do without her. She had been the most important thing in his life for the past three years and he couldn't imagine a life without her. He couldn't just pretend that nothing had happened though. He couldn't go on living a lie.

-Flashback

Chandler walked through Central Park, a spring in his step as he made his way back to the apartment he shared with Monica. He couldn't believe that he was getting married tomorrow, to the most amazing woman in the world. Actually, he couldn't believe that he was getting married at all. He had always been terrified of commitment, for as long as he could remember. But Monica made his forget all his fears. She was the woman he wanted to live the rest of his life with. Sure, he was still afraid of becoming "the Bings", whose marriages always went bad, but he knew that whatever problem he and Monica were faced with, they would work through it. Because they loved eachother, so much.

He turned the corner, thinking about the plans for the wedding tomorrow, when something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked over and saw a petite brunette walking away from him, her fingers laced together with a dark haired man. He studied her from behind for a few minutes, his breath catching in his throat as he realised who it was. Monica. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't her, that it was someone who looked like her. But the more he watched them, the more certain he was that the woman was Monica.

He tried to make himself turn round and walk away, but it was as if his feet were glued to the concrete. As Chandler tried once again to tear his eyes away from the couple, the man turned round to face Monica. Chandler had to grab onto the bench next to him to stop himself from falling when he saw who it was. He honestly felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest. When the man gazed into Monica's eyes and leant down to kiss her, it was all that Chandler could do to stop himself from yelling Monica's name and running over to them. He wiped angrily at the tears that had begun to sting at the corners of his eyes and ran out of the park, praying with all he had in him that this was all a bad dream and that he would wake up to find Monica asleep in his arms.

-

Chandler snapped out of his daydream and noticed that his cheeks were damp. He thought about wiping them away but realised that he didn't even care anymore. He looked around the dingy hotel room, hoping that he would find something to do that would help take his mind off Monica. She was all that he had been thinking about for the last couple of days. He should have stayed to talk to Monica, heard what she had to say. But he couldn't. If she wasn't willing to be honest with him, if she was willing to go behind his back and be with another man, then it would just be easier on both of them if he left her to be happy.

Chandler knew it was probably a mistake doing what he was about to do, but he had to, he owed it to his friends. He walked down to the payphone outside the hotel, thinking of what he was going to say. Luckily, Joey picked up on the first ring, leaving Chandler no time to chicken out.

"Hello?" He sounded as of he hadn't slept at all since Chandler had left.

"Joey, it's me." He held his breath as he waited for Joey to speak. "Please say something." Chandler was waiting for Joey to start yelling at him but what came next was worse than that.

"Dude, come home." In all the years he had lived with Joey, Chandler had never heard or seen him cry. But right now, he sounded right on the verge of tears.

"Joey I can't. I'm so sorry, but I can't. I know saying sorry doesn't fix anything, but I really am."

"No Chandler, it doesn't fix anything. How could you just take off like that? Don't you care about any of us? Don't you care about Monica?" Chandler could hear the anger rising in his voice. He took a deep breath before attempting to answer the questions that he was being bombarded with.

"Look Joe, I can't explain this over the phone, but I did it for a reason. I did think about your feelings, all of your feelings. Especially Monica's. That's why i had to leave." Chandler fought back the tears that threatened to spill even at the mention of Monica's name.

"You're not making any sense." The anger in Joey's voice slowly began to subside as he heard how sad Chandler was.

"I know, and I'm so, so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it Chandler." There was now no emotion in Joey's voice anymore. Chandler noticed this and fought back tears, he missed everyone so much. He waited for a few moments while he contemplated whether or not he wanted to know the answer to his next question.

"Joe, how's ... how's Mon?" He held his breath as he waited for a reply.

Joey was stunned by the question. 'She's a mess' he wanted to say, 'She's lost without you. She can't function without you. She needs you. She hasn't taken your sweater off since the day you left.' But he didn't. He didn't know why. He just couldn't bring himself to say it. To cause Chandler more pain than he was already feeling.

"She's ... okay." Chandler let a tear slip down his face. It was exactly the opposite of what he wanted to hear. It was the answer he was most afraid of. All he wanted to know was that Monica was missing him. "Look Joey, I need to go. I'll phone again in a couple of days. And please, please, don't tell anyone that I phoned. Not even Monica. Please just pomise me that."

Joey sighed, "Ok. I promise. Bye." Joey finally let a tear slip down his face when he heard the desperation in Chandler's voice; he could tell he had been crying.

"Bye." Chandler hung up and walked back up to his hotel room in a complete daze. Monica was okay. How could she be okay, after everything they'd been through. Either Joey had lied to him or he really didn't mean anything to Monica. He refused to let himself believe the latter.

He tried to get Monica out of his head when he was lying in bed that night, but it was impossible. She had been the biggest part of his life for 7 years. Even before they had started going out, he was always closer to Monica. She was the one he trusted most, and he was pretty sure she trusted him the most as well. She always used to come to him with her problems, he was always her shoulder to cry on. And they always sat next to eachother on the couch in the coffee house, his arm draped round her shoulders. Then when they started going out, everything in his life was just perfect. He had fallen in love with his best friend. He didn't realise how much he needed her until now, when he had to live without her. It was like a part of him was missing. He knew it was corny but it was true. Not being able to see her face, hear her voice every day, it was killing him inside. He wanted so badly to just hold her in his arms, but he knew that couldn't happen. He couldn't go back. Monica would be happy now, and thats all that mattered to him.

Monica lifted her head off Rachel's shoulder, noticing that it was wet with tears. She was so used to crying now that she didn't even notice when she was doing it.

"Mon, honey, I think we have to tell the others." Rachel waited for her friend's reply, gently rubbing her arm to let her know she was there for her.

"I guess i should." Monica sniffed, burying her head in Rachel's shoulder once again as a fresh batch of tears began rolling down her face.

"Mon, talk to me. Tell me whats really bothering you." Moncica took a deep breath, sometimes she really hated the fact that Rachel could always tell when there was something she wasn't telling her and could always see past the act she was putting on.

"I don't really know where to start."

"How about telling me why you were so upset about being pregnant?" Monica sighed before answering.

"Well, I know its been something I've wanted since, like, forever." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before continuing, "But I always wanted to have a baby with the man that I love, and I know it's his baby but ... but he's gone now. And everytime I would look at my baby it would just bring back too many memories." Rachel knew that there was something else that Monica wanted to say.

"And ..."

"I can't say, you'll think I'm horrible."

"Mon, I promise I won't judge you." Rachel squeezed her friends hand.

"I'm - I'm just scared that I won't be able to love the baby if every time i look at him or her it would bring back so much pain and hurt. I'm worried that I would end up hating that baby." Rachel sat in silence for a few moments, just holding her friend.

"Please say something." Monica whispered.

"Sweetie, I've never had a baby before so I don't know what it's like, but what i do know is that this baby ... " She put her hand on Monica's stomach, "... is going to be the luckiest baby in the whole world. Because you are going to love him or her more than anything and you are going to be an amazing mum." Monica let what Rachel had said sink in.

"Are you just saying that?"

"Mon, look at me." She put both hands on either side of Monica's face so that she was looking up at her. "I have never been more sure of anything." She pulled Monica into a hug.

"Rach, I'm not ready to tell the others yet."

"Why honey?" Rachel thought she knew the answer but wanted to hear it from Monica.

"Because if I tell them, it will just make everything seem more real."

"Make what seem more real?" Monica jumped as she turned to see Ross, Phoebe and Joey standing by the couch. She hadn't even heard them come in. Rachel opened her mouth to speak but stopped when she turned round to see Monicas eyes pleading with her not to say anything.

"Mon, we have to." Rachel stood up and pulled Monica with her, wrapping an arm round her shoulder.

"Tell us what?" Three pairs of concerned eyes looked back at them, wanting to know what was going on.

"Okay, well ..."

"Rachel, please." Monica grabbed Rachel's hand desperately.

"Guy's, please just tell us." Both girls could hear the worry in Ross's voice.

"Mon, you tell them." Rachel looked at Monica who shook her head, unable to speak, due to the amount of tears that we spilling out of her eyes.

"Monica's ... " Rachel took a deep breath, "Monica's pregnant." The three faces stared at Rachel, lost for words. They didn't snap out of their daze until they heard Monica's door slam shut and heard the muffled sound of sobs coming from her room.

I'm so so sorry that took so long, hopefully it was worth the wait!! Please review and tell me what you think. I'm pretty sure where i'm going with this but please let me know if you have any suggestions