I'm so so sorry its been so long since i've updated, i really have no excuse, i'm just a super lazy person! This chapter takes place about a month after the last one. I'm gonna try and make Monica's pregnancy go quite quickly cos the good stuff comes after she's had the baby. And i mean really quickly haha, like all in this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

And this is for you Laurennnn! I finally did it haha :D I love you lotssssss (L)

"Hey." Joey sighed as he answered the phone. Today was one of Monica's 'bad' days. She hadn't yet spoken to anyone and it was already almost noon. She just nodded or shook her head when someone asked her a question. Over the past month these days had come less often but every once in a while she would have days where she would just sit and stare into space, letting herself cry.

"Hey Joe." Great, Joey thought. He really didn't need to speak to Chandler right now. He hadn't called since the one time he had phoned to ask how Monica was.

"Whats up?" Joey filled the uncomfortable silence, failing to hide the anger in his voice.

"Look, I know I haven't called in over a month and I'm really sorry." Chandler held his breath, praying that Joey wouldn't hang up on him.

"Its ... okay. I was just worried about you ya' know?" Joey softened up, realising how much he missed his best friend.

"Yeah, and again I'm really sorry. So how have you been?"

"Fine, you?"

"Fine, I guess. I got an apartment. And a job."

"What?! That means your staying there."

"Yeah ... kinda stating the obvious there Joe." Chandler attempted a laugh but it came out as more of a cross between a cough and a grunt.

"I just ... I never really thought you would stay that long. I kinda figured you'd come back, eventually." Chandler sighed and ran his hands through his hair, not really knowing how to answer.

"I know, but I can't. I want to, but I can't."

"You keep saying that! But why can't you? Everyone wants you to. And you want to."

"Joey its not that easy."

"But it is!"

"Joey, its not."

"It is. You're the one who'smaking it difficult Chandler. If you would just stop being so God damn stubborn then it really could be easy. And you know it." With that, Joey hung up, overcome with a mixture of emotions. He was hurt, he was angry, he was upset. It was just too much to cope with.

Chandler sighed as he placed the phone down on the counter. Could it really be that easy? No, of course not. Because he had left for a reason. Why did he keep having to remind himself that? He had done this for Monica. Monica. He missed her so much. But he refused to let himself think about her. Because when he though about her he almost caved and went back to New York. He couldn't do that though, it would just make everything more difficult for all of them. Besides, he had a life here now. If he could really call it a life. He lived in a dingy one bedroom apartment with a tiny bathroom and small kitchen which led into an even smaller living room. He would get up, go to work, come home late, eat his microwave meal and then go to sleep. Not that his job tired him out, he had found a well paid position with an advertising agency which was pretty easy. It was better than his old job, but he still didn't enjoy it. He just went about his day to day business not really paying attention to anything or thinking about anything, almost as if he was in a constant daydream. It was easier that way. He wasn't reminded of the life he had left behind. And he was able to ignore the emptiness that he felt inside that wouldn't seem to go away. Of course it wouldn't go away though, he knew there was only one person who could make it go away. But he had screwed everything up.

--

Monica jumped up and ran into the bathroom as she was overcome with the familiar feeling of nausea. She was four months into the pregnancy and the morning sickness still hadn't stopped. As she leant over the toilet she felt a comforting hand rubbing her back and someone pull her hair out of her face.

"You ok?" Phoebe put her arm round Monica as she sat up.

"When did you get here?"

"Well just a minute ago. And I heard you in the bathroom, so I thought I would offer some support." She smiled at Monica and got the hint of one back from her. There was silence for a few moments as the two of them just sat thinking.

"You know you didn't have to do that." Monica's voice was barely above a whisper as she broke the silence.

"I know. But i wanted to. I've been through this and i know what it feels like. Plus, you look like you could use a lot of support right now." She pulled Monica into a hug as she noticed the tears threatening to escape. She felt the dampness against her shoulder and pulled away so that she could wipe away her friend's tears. "But you know what? At least you get to keep your baby. I mean, I know i still get to see the triplets but its not the same. When this is all over, you're gonna get a baby. A baby who you're gonna love so much that ... that ... you know what? I can't even describe how much you're gonna love that baby. You can't even comprehend how much your gonna love him or her." She looked at Monica and noticed that she looked guilty. "Hey, whats wrong?"

"I've been so unbelievably selfish. I wasn't even thinking about the baby, i've been so caught up with missing ... him that i didn't even think about the baby."

"Honey, its okay. I know how hard this has been for you." Monica simply nodded as she put a hand on the bump that was just beginning to form and a single tear ran down her cheek.

"I need to stop thinking about Ch-Chandler. And just focus on myself and the baby." Phoebe simply pulled her friend into a hug, sensing that her statement needed no answer.

Monica buried her face in Phoebe's shoulder, she wouldn't let herself cry over him any more. He had caused her four months of tears and she wasn't going to let him hold onto her anymore. She was stronger than that. She had to be strong, for her baby. So she came to a decision - she wouldn't let herself think about Chandler, it was the only way to stop him from consuming every single second of her life.

--

"Rach! Rach!" Monica ran into her best friends room - she had moved back into the appartment since Chandler had left.

"Mon?! Whats the matter?"

"Nothing, just come and feel this." Rachel got out of bed and stumbled over to Monica who was standing at the door.

"Geez Mon, its like 3 in the morning," She rubbed her eyes as she tried to waken herself up. "What's so important that you had to wake me up in the middle of the night for?" Monica said nothing but simply smiled at her friend and took her hand which she placed on her now visible bump.

"Can you feel that?" She whispered, looking at Rachel's face for a reaction.

"Oh my God." Rachels mouth spread into a wide grin as she looked up at Monica. "Its amazing honey."

"I know." She fought back the tears that threatened to escape as the layed her hand on her belly and felt her baby kicking.

"Aw come here sweetie, its okay to cry. You've been so strong this past month." She pulled Monica into a hug and let her cry softly onto her shoulder.

Monica didn't fully understand why she was crying. All she knew was that all of this was totally overwhelming her. She was incredibly greatful to Rachel for being so supportive, but she couldn't help wishing that she was in Chandler's arms, and that her tears were tears of pure happiness. She wished that she was able to forget about Chandler and that the ache in her heart would disappear. She had been doing so well not thinking about him, but it was so hard. It was so hard going through this alone. Of course she had her friends, but it wasn't the same. When she was younger, and she used to picture having a baby it always involved going through it with the man she loved. Getting excited about naming the baby, laughing over the stupid names, cuddling on the sofa with baby books sharing their hopes and fears about the future. Instead she had none of that. She had to lie in bed at night on her own, worrying about bringing up a child on her own, worrying about being a good mother, worrying about the birth. And she had never felt more alone.

--

"Hey Mon." Ross walked into the appartment and walked over to Monica who was putting groceries into the fridge, pulling her into a hug, "Hey baby." He addressed her stomach, making Monica smile. Ross picked up the jar of pickles and bottle of ketchup that were in one of the bags, laughing as he looked at Monica,

"Still on the pickles and ketchup, huh?"

"Yeah," She laughed, grabbing them off him, "Don't judge me, its the baby!" She finished putting the groceries away and got a bottle of water for herself and Ross out of the fridge and sitting down at the table.

"So, third trimester Mon. Almost there! How are you feeling?" He looked over at her and was surprised to find she had tears in her eyes. It had been a long time since he had seen her cry, she'd been doing so well. He reached over and grasped her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Scared, mostly. I feel totally unprepared. I don't have anything ready, and i'm gonna look after a baby all on my own." She looked up at Ross, unsure of what to do or say next. She'd never told anyone how scared she was, and it felt good to tell someone.

"Mon, we're all gonna be here for you, we're all gonna help you through it. And i'll go shopping with you and help you pick out suff for the baby. You're not gonna have to do this alone." He got up so that he could hug her, waiting for her to say something.

"Thanks Ross. It's just really hard, you know? I mean of course i'm excited, i can't wait to have a baby. But i never pictured myself going through it like this."

"Yeah i understand completely Mon, i just want you to know that i'll give you as much help as you need. And that i'm here for you, we all are."

"Thanks. Oh and could you please come with me for my 30 week scan?"

"Sure, i'll take the day off."

She leaned against him, thankful that her brother was being supportive. She honestly didn't know if she would have been able to cope without him, he really had acted like a substitute for Chandler; coming to all her appointments with her and putting up with all her weird cravings.

"Thanks for being here Ross."

"No problem, thats what big brothers are for."

--

"Aww Mon look at this! How aborable!" Rachel ran over to her, a cute pair of pink dungarees in her hand.

"Rach! I've told you, i'm not buying too many clothes right now, i don't even know the sex of the baby yet!" She took the dungarees out of her friends hand and laughed as she hung them back up.

"But Mon, look at them!"

"I know Rach, but you've said that about the past 10 outfits you've picked up! And we've got to draw the line somewhere." She grabbed Rachels hand and pulled her away, walking over to look at the cribs."

"Aww Mon, you have to get this!" She pointed to an adorable little white crib with pale yellow bedding and a coloured pattern running up the side.

"Oh my God, thats the one! Its so adorable Rach!"

"I know! Now lets go look at the prams ..." She ran off, leaving Monica to half walk half waddle along behind her. She was at 37 weeks now and couldn't move very fast to say the least.

"Rach, hold on!" She had almost caught up with her, but stopped as she passed a changing table which exactly matched the crib they had just chosen out. "Come here! We have got to get this too!" Rachel ran back and gasped as she saw what Monica was pointing at.

"Oh my God, we do! Its perfect! I can't wait for the others to see all the stuff we've chosen!"

"Me neither! Oh by the way, where are the others? I thought Pheebs wanted to come? And last month Ross said he would take me."

"Oh umm, they were pretty vague ... just said they had to, umm, go somewhere." Monica looked at Rachel skeptically but she rushed away to look at the prams before Monica could ask any more questions. Monica just followed after her, smiling to herself. She was going to be fine.

--

"Wow, i'm beat." Monica flopped down on the sofa, Rachel following after her. She wrinkled her nose and sniffed a few times. "Why does the appartment smell like paint?"

"Follow me." Rachel took her hand and pulled her up, walking over to Rachel's room.

"SURPRISE!" Phoebe, Joey and Ross were all standing there in overalls, covered in paint but grinning like idiots. They had painted the room a pale yellow colour and put a border round the top with different coloured spots on it. Rachel ran around the room, pointing out where everything could go.

"And look! We can out the crib here! And the changing table here! And then you can still keep the wardrobe in the corner here!" Monica simply stood by the door, a hand covering her mouth.

"You guys." Monica walked over to them and attempted to pull all four of them into a hug as she fought back tears. "I can't believe you did this. Its amazing, i love it." There were a mixture of 'Your welcome' and 'Its alright' and 'We love you' as the five of them stood in the middle of the room clinging to eachother, Monica standind in the middle of the huddle.

"What was that?!" Joey exclaimed as the rest of them jumped back.

"Oh my God. I think my water just broke." Monica looked around at the others, panic evident in her eyes. She wasn't ready for this, she needed more time. She needed reassurance that everything was going to be okay. She needed Chandler.

Finally done with this chapter. I've kinda written it a few paragraphs at a time so let me know if it doesn't make sense! Please review, they make me smile :)