Thanks so much for all the reviews, i love them, they encourage me to keep writing (:
Hope you enjoy this chapter, it gets more exciting now.
"I can't do it anymore!" Monica gripped Rachel's hand, her knuckles going white.
"Yes you can Mon, almost there." Rachel winced in pain as Monica gripped her hand tighter as she continued to push, "Keep going honey, you're doing great."
"Rach, i can't." Monica lay her head down on the pillow and wiped away the tears that were fighting to escape.
"Monica, look at me. You can do this. You're being so strong and i'm so proud of you." Rachel wiped Monica's hair out of her face and turned to the midwife, wanting some back up.
"Okay, i can see the head now. One big push, you can do it." Monica gripped Rachel's hand again, using the last ounce of strength she had in her, before they heard the baby's cries filling the room.
"Congratulations! Say hello to your baby girl."
"Oh my God." Tears started to flow freely down Monica's face as the midwife placed the baby in her arms.
"Oh wow, she's beautiful Mon! I've got go and tell the others!" Rachel ran out of the room, followed by the midwife who said she would give Monica a few moments alone.
"Hey baby. I love you. I love you so much." She bent her head to kiss her on the nose, amazed at how much love she felt. She sat for a few moments, just drinking in the sight of her. Her baby. She finally had a baby. Finally, after so many years of longing and heartache, she had a baby. There was still one thing missing though. "I wish you're Daddy was here." Monica whispered softly, not bothering to wipe away the tears now that were falling freely onto the bed.
--
"Oh my God, Monica. She's so beautiful." Ross was the first to enter the room, followed by Phoebe, Joey and Rachel. They all cooed over the baby, offering their congratulations to Monica.
"Oooh, do you have a name yet?!" Phoebe asked excitedly, silently hoping that Monica had picked up the several hints she's been dropping the past few months and would name the baby Phoebe.
"Yeah," Monica whispered, her eyes glued on her baby's face, "Hannah Sophia."
"Aww, Mon, thats gorgeous. Hannah Sophia Geller, it has a nice ring to it." Rachel ran a finger down Hannah's face, smiling.
"No, umm, actually its Hannah Sophia Bing." Monica looked around at the shocked faces, no one knowing what to say. She knew they wouldn't have expected it, but she didn't think they would react like this. Ross looked angry, like he was fighting back the urge to shout at her. "What? Guy's, please say something."
"Umm, okay, if thats what you want." Joey looked round at the others, shrugging when Ross gave him a look as if to ask what the hell he was doing agreeing with her.
"Look, we can't just pretend that Chandler had nothing to do with this." They all glanced at eachother at the mention of Chandler's name, having not heard Monica say it out loud in almost 9 months. "Its his baby too. And even if he doesn't know he has a baby, she deserves to have his name. I want her to have his name." She wiped away more tears that were beginning to run down her face, silently cursing herself for crying over him again, something she swore she wouldn't do.
"Honey, we understand." Rachel glared at Ross after he gave her the same look that he'd given Joey. "Do you want us to leave you for a few minutes."
Monica nodded, but called Rachel back after the others had left the room. "I wanted to ask you something."
"What hon?" Rachel perched herself on the edge of the bed and put an arm round Monica to steady herself.
"Would you be Hannah's godmother?" Monica looked up at her worriedly, as if she thought she might say no.
"Oh my God, i would love to!" Both of their faces broke into a smile as they attempted to hug but laughed when they realised Hannah was getting in the way.
"Can i hold her?" Monica carefully put the baby into Rachel's arms, never once taking her eyes off her, and looking deep in thought. "What you thinking about?"
Monica hesitated before answering. "Him." Rachel didn't have to ask who, she knew immediately. "I miss him so much." It broke Rachel's heart to see her best friend in so much pain again, she'd thought that Monica was past this stage, and she didn't know what to say to make her feel better anymore. She couldn't tell her that everything would be alright, because she wasn't even sure of that herself.
--
Monica's eyes sprung open at the first sounds of Hannah stirring in her crib at the end of Monica's bed. She was only a month old so Monica didn't feel ready to have her sleeping in her own room yet.
"Shh sweetie, its okay." She lifted Hannah out of the crib and took her over to her bed. She knew she shouldn't get into the habit of letting Hannah sleep in her bed, but it was a comfort to her as well, knowing that Hannah was safe. Her daughter was all she really had now. Of course she had her friends and her brother, but that somehow wasn't enough. She needed Chandler more than ever now. She had kept telling herself that over time it would get easier having to live without him, and for a while she really believed that it was. The truth was that it never really did get easier, she had just been kidding herself. She couldn't live without him. And a part of her always believed that he would come back someday, but it had been over ten months now and still no one had heard from him. She prayed he was okay. Sure, she was mad at him, and deeply hurt that he had just left, but she still loved him. Did he still love her? Probably not, otherwise why would he have left?
--
Chandler bent his head against the icy New York wind and ran up the steps to his apartment. Once in the door he flopped down onto the couch, staring at the phone. Should he do it? They would probably be pretty mad, but he needed to do this. He dialed the number and then put the phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Joey, its me." (a/n. LOL bet you all thought it would be Monica, i'm evil. And i totally just ruined the mood of this chapter. Oh weeell.) He held his breath as he waited for an answer.
"Oh. You do know its been like, i don't even know how many months since you've called." Chandler could hear the anger rising in his friend's voice, just like the last time he called.
"Yeah i know. I'm sorry. Really sorry. I just wanted to let you know that i'm back in New York ..."
"You're what?!" Joey's voice rose about an octave.
"Joe, let me finish. New York state, not New York city. I'm in Albany."
"Oh right. Why?"
"I got transferred for work." There was an awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to say. "I just wanted to give you my number, so that, you know ... just incase something ... happened and you needed to reach me. It'll probably be on caller ID or whatever." He once again held his breath, wondering if Joey would be mad at him for calling up like this out of the blue and just giving his number.
"Okay, thanks. At least i can reach you now. Look man," His voice softened, "I've missed you. And don't get me wrong, i'm still unbelievably mad at you, but it wouldn't hurt if i was just able to call every once in a while to see how you are. If thats okay?"
"Yeah, i would like that. I've missed you too. But you've got to believe me when i say i can't come back." Joey sighed and waited a moment before answering.
"I know, and i've given up on trying to figure it out." Another silence followed. "Well, i've gotta go now. So take care."
"Yeah you too. Bye." Chandler hung up laying his head back against the couch and closing his eyes. When did this situation get so complicated? He was supposed to leave and that would be it. But it wasn't that easy. It was too hard to forget.
--
Monica's eyes fluttered open and she glanced at the clock beside her bed. 3:51 AM. Her body had tuned itself to wake up this time most nights, the time when Hannah usually began to stir and needed feeding. But something was different. The room was too still, too quiet. Monica's heart began to beat faster as she pushed the covers off and went over to Hannah's crib. She bent down to kiss her on the forehead, but stopped midway when she realised something. She wasn't breathing.
Wow, cliffhanger much?! Hannah's not dead, just to let you know. I'm not that cruel. I think theres some condition babies get where they can stop breathing. Sorry if i've got any details wrong :S And i know its sort of a coincidence that Chandler called right before that happened buuut, this is a fanfic, it doesn't have to be too realistic!
Soooo, do you see where i'm going with this? Please leave a review, they make me smile (:
(Thanks, bingsrule for pointing out my mistake - my geography is crap and i live in the UK so i'm not too good with with all the states and cities! Anyways, i changed it.)