Disclaimer: Tite Kubo is a 31 year old Japanese man. I am a 20 year old Australian woman. Tite Kubo creates amazing stories. I try to. Tite Kubo is an exceptional manga artist. My one art skill is drawing ducks that look more like pigeons with webbed feet. Tite Kubo owns Bleach. Are you sensing the pattern here yet?
Listening to: Hungry Kids of Hungary – 'Scattered Diamonds'.
R/R, people. You know you want to.
Hmmm… I hope you want to…
Oh dear.
Chapter 6
As Ulquiorra woke the next morning, he finally felt the sense of calm that had been evading him the last few weeks. All the tensions that the Winter War, the escape from Hueco Mundo, his capture and his new position had wrought upon him seemed to have vanished, and he felt a sense of peace as the sunlight crept into his quarters, slowly bringing colour and definition into the room.
It is a relief. I'm back to myself again, without being troubled by those bizarre impressions from the last few days. Everything will go back to normal and I will be able to work with my new captain without anything strange getting in the way.
He rose, dressed and, on impulse, sonido'd to the roof to look out over his new home. The sun, in the middle of climbing over the horizon, streaked a vivid magenta and violet sky with orange, the array of colours reflected on the uniform white buildings that made up the Seireitei. It was, he decided, a considerably more interesting view than anything you could see in Hueco Mundo. For starters, there was actually a sun, not to mention a general lack of sand, both things that he thoroughly approved of. Musing on this, he continued to gaze, until he saw a familiar figure a few rooftops away, also staring at the sunrise, a cup of something warm in her hands.
Neliel.
The sensations he'd been hoping to avoid suddenly washed over him, and he swiftly returned inside.
Fuck. So much for back to normal. How is it that I can feel like myself once more, and still be plagued by this?
Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, he went back to getting ready for work.
xXx
Standing on her roof with a cup of life-giving coffee in her hands, Neliel watched as the sun rose and the sky started to fade to a clear blue. The wonderful sensation of relaxation departed when she felt the telltale prickling on the back of her neck that told her someone was watching her. Glancing back, she saw no one that she could attribute this sensation to. She wasn't worried. Her watcher seemed to have been more surprised than hostile, and had, in fact, felt slightly familiar. The image of a tall, dark haired arrancar flashed into her head, as it had been doing consistently since she had first seen him.
Now there's wishful thinking. As if anyone else would be up here at this hour, let alone him. I need to get a grip.
With a shrug, she turned back to her coffee and the dawn sky.
xXx
Ulquiorra arrived at the division a few hours later, only to find the entire squad gathered and listening to the directions Neliel was giving about the 'show' they were about to see.
"Alright", she yelled over the noise of the crowd, "firstly, do not under any circumstances sit up the front. Aside from being potentially spattered with blood, there's also the risk of injury. Remember, it's always a good idea to stay as far away as possible from Kenpachi when he fights, simply because if his opponent bores him, he'll look for a new one. Trust me, you don't want that to be you. Secondly, don't, whatever you do, take part in any betting pool set up by Yachiru. For starters, she only lets you bet on her precious Ken-chan, and even if you win, all you get back is empty candy wrappers. Any attempts to get anything more out of her will end in tears - yours, of sheer frustration. And finally, support the third division in their attempt to rebuild what Ichigo, Kenpachi and Grimmjow destroyed and buy some popcorn. Nothing goes better with wanton violence than popcorn! Okay, move out!"
As the crowd started to head toward the Eleventh Division headquarters, Nel spotted her lieutenant and beckoned him over.
"Ready for your second day at work?"
He gazed at the crowd briefly, before turning to respond. "I am, but I can't help but wish you'd made that speech earlier. I ran into Lieutenant Kusajishi earlier, and placed my bet on Captain Unohana."
Nel stopped in her tracks. "You didn't?"
"I did. The trade-off was that I had to put up with her choice of nickname without complaint. Being called Emo Kid doesn't particularly bother me, though I am curious. Neliel, what is emo?"
"Uh… Look on the bright side. She stuck me with Mouldylocks, some sort of combination of a human story and my green hair. It could have been worse."
"Neliel, you didn't answer my question."
"Tell you what, I'll show you emo kids when we go on a mission to the living world. It's easier than explaining. Deal?"
"Very well."
"So, you do realise that you'll never collect on that bet if you win."
"On the contrary, I told her that if she paid up I would use half the proceeds to buy her candy. In addition to that, I offered to personally ensure that Grimmjow ended up in the Eleventh Division at least once a week for a play date with 'Ken-chan'."
Damn, he was good. "Still, it seems like a lot of effort, especially the Grimmjow part."
"That is the part I would gladly do for free."
Nel stifled a giggle. "And here I was thinking you were friends."
He shuddered. "I tolerate him. There is a substantial difference."
"Nel!" An exuberant Rangiku trotted up to them. "Going to see the show?"
Nel smiled. "Hell yeah. It should be pretty damn impressive. Already warned the squad about Yachiru and the front row, so they're all geared up. Not to mention the promise of popcorn."
"Kami, yes. That's half the reason I'm going."
"What's the other half?" Ulquiorra enquired.
Rangiku turned to smile at him, the same smile that had caused countless men, and a few women, to suddenly lose track of what they were doing and walk into something solid. He didn't bat an eyelid. If anything, she thought, he was looking at Nel…
Interesting… I could have a lot of fun with this. Nel's completely oblivious, he's completely oblivious… Oh yeah, a lot of fun.
"Well, I'm willing to bet that Retsu has a lot of suppressed rage. I mean, Kenpachi's division mocks hers all the time, and while she gets to intimidate his men, she hasn't been able to inspire unholy fear in him yet. I think this is her chance."
Ulquiorra considered this, and nodded. "I am glad to hear that. I placed a decent sum with Lieutenant Kusajishi on Captain Unohana."
Ran's jaw dropped. "You bet on her, with Yachiru?"
Nel laughed. "Long story, Ran. But yes. He's even going to collect."
"Well, I'm impressed."
This felt awkward, Ulquiorra decided. It wasn't as though he'd done anything special, and yet they seemed to think he had. Neliel's presence was not helping. It was as though all the assurance he had woken up with had suddenly departed for no better reason than the fact that he was near her.
I really need to see Orihime soon. I don't know how much more of this I can put up with while remaining sane.
He was relieved when they arrived and took their seats, Nel grabbing several bags of popcorn from the nearest Third Division member and passing them to Ulquiorra and Rangiku. Seeing her lieutenant look confused, she figured explanation was necessary.
"It's kernels of corn, heated so that they pop, mixed with butter and salt."
"I see."
She saw his hesitation. "It's really nice, I promise."
"If you don't want it, I'll eat it", Ran squeezed out between mouthfuls. "Oh crap, cleavage popcorn."
"What?" Ulquiorra was very sure he hadn't heard that term before.
"When popcorn falls… well, yeah. There is no dignified way to retrieve that." Nel clarified. "You won't have that problem though. Come on, just try it!"
It couldn't hurt to try, he decided, popping a few pieces into his mouth.
Nel watched as he ate, looking for a reaction. His expression didn't changed, but he nodded as he finished. "It's good."
Her smile lit up her face. "Knew you'd like it!"
His stomach felt strange, almost light. Was this the popcorn? He'd better not eat too much, just in case.
A traitorous part of his brain argued back that popcorn had nothing to do with this unusual feeling, and that it seemed to be directly linked to his captain smiling. He chose to ignore this thought, and fought to keep a scowl from his face. This struggle became harder as a very familiar figure with blue hair settled down beside him.
"Oi, Ulquiorra, gonna introduce me?"
I am going to enjoy setting Kenpachi on him at regular intervals. It's more than he deserves.
"Grimmjow, what are you doing here?"
"Watching the show, of course. Hey, are ya gonna eat all that popcorn?"
"I am now, if only to spite you. Don't you have a captain to annoy?"
At this, Grimmjow mumbled something very incoherent.
"In English, Grimmjow. I realise that grunting is your first language, but you've been bilingual long enough to cope with conversation."
"Get fucked. Actually, that probably is a decent bit of advice where you're concerned - "
"Grimmjow", Ulquiorra growled.
"Ok, shit, lighten up. I'm just avoiding my captain, ok?"
Nel and Rangiku had been watching this exchange with identical grins on their faces, and decided to join in.
"You do realise that avoiding Soi Fon is impossible, right?" Ran pointed out.
"A guy can dream. Anyway, since Ulquiorra here is tongue-tied in the presence of such attractive women, let me introduce myself. Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, new Second Division lieutenant."
Ignoring Ulquiorra as he muttered something about death being too good for him, Grimmjow stuck out his hand to Nel, who grinned and took it.
"Well, I'm Nel, captain of the Seventh, and this is Rangiku, lieutenant of the Tenth. Are you joining us for the fight?"
"But of course. I wouldn't want to be deprived of my good friend Ulquiorra's company."
Settling himself down, Grimmjow smiled smugly at the fuming arrancar next to him. "Something wrong, Ulquiorra?"
"Nothing that couldn't be fixed by a good neutering, Grimmjow."
"Kami, that's just not cool. How would you feel if I threatened you like that?"
"Secure in the knowledge that I can beat the arrogance out of you without breaking a sweat. Now, shut up, it's about to begin."
"Since when are you so interested?"
"Since I put money on it."
"Whaddaya know, Ulquiorra Schiffer, closet gambler. Anything else you keep closeted, Ulqui?"
"Do not call me that."
"Call you what, Ulqui?"
"Oh, nothing… Kitty."
Ran decided to interrupt again. "Are you two going to stop flirting?"
As the two men wore almost identical looks of horror (the difference being that Ulquiorra's was slightly less expressive), Nel started to laugh. "Don't worry guys, Ran sees flirting everywhere. It gets scary, until you realise that she's just crazy."
"Hey, I resemble that remark!"
"You see? Anyway… Kitty?"
Ulquiorra almost smiled at that one. "Just wait until you see his release form. Or ask Ichigo about it. Either option would work."
Grimmjow scowled, and slouched in his seat. "Shut up, it's starting."
The two captains had entered the training grounds on opposite sides, Kenpachi in his usual uniform, and Unohana in one that was tailored like Nel's and missing the captain's haori. Her customary sweet smile was in place, but there was an edge to it as she drew her sword.
Grimmjow scoffed. "This thing's gonna be over before it even starts. If I wanted to watch Kenpachi wipe the floor with someone, I'd have just left him battle Ichigo on his own yesterday. You're about to lose money, Ulquiorra."
The two captains circled each other briefly, before Kenpachi stopped. "Okay woman, you get the same chance as every one else. One free shot. Take it."
Unohana's smile went from sweet to slightly alarming. "I'm insulted, Captain Zaraki. First you won't even remove your bells, and now this?"
"One free shot. Use it to prove to me that the Fourth aren't all whiny little pansies and - "
He was cut off as Unohana, in a move that was almost fast enough to be shunpo, but not quite, darted around him, grabbed him by the hair and sliced. By the time he'd turned around she was metres away, slowly dropping the locks of hair tipped with bells that she'd caught.
"I told you to remove the bells, Captain Zaraki. Consider that my free shot."
As he examined the damage to his hair a rabid smile started to form on his face. "Looks like this is gonna be fun after all." He lunged forward, their swords dancing, before he leapt back, grinning as he held up the foot of braid in his hand. Unohana narrowed her eyes, before smiling in a way eerily reminiscent of Kenpachi.
"Touché. Shall we?" She asked as she undid her hair and let it fall behind her.
"Hell yeah."
They launched themselves at each other again, sparks flying from their swords. Apparently, however, they were not the only sparks flying.
"Ok guys, I know my record with this isn't flawless, but I swear this is flirting", Ran stated in between popcorn pieces.
Grimmjow looked over to her. "Ok, now I know you're crazy."
"Told you", Nel replied with a smile.
"Actually, I think she has a point." They all turned to stare at Ulquiorra, who struggled to defend himself. "Well, if you take into account the way they're looking at each other, and the fact that they both seem to be really enjoying this, it does make a certain amount of sense. It might not be the most conventional method of flirting, but it is possible."
They were still staring at him. It was disconcerting, to say the least, and he was glad when Nel broke the silence. "I never thought it would happen, Ran. Someone agrees with you."
They turned back to the fight as the opponents' swords locked once again, only to be broken when Captain Unohana punched Captain Zaraki in the mouth.
"Shit, did I just see that right?" Grimmjow asked in disbelief.
Ulquiorra was almost inclined to smirk. "And you thought that I wasn't going to make money."
Nel watched, her head tilted to the side. "He's not even mad about it. In fact, he looks even happier."
Indeed, Kenpachi's grin had gotten wider as he wiped away the blood, and continued to do so as he tore through the sleeves of Unohana's black jacket. She stepped back and slowly, almost sensually, removed the fabric that remained from her arms, before swiftly charging in once more and removing his captain's haori with three decisive cuts. He retaliated by raking his sword down her leg and slicing her pants, leaving one of her long legs exposed. She grinned, and kicked him in the stomach, sending him to the other side of the arena.
Nel's eyes widened. "They keep this up and they won't be wearing anything."
Grimmjow turned to Ulquiorra. "Unbe-fucking-lievable. They're actually flirting, doing something that involves emotions, and you, of all people, actually called it."
"On the contrary", he replied, "I believe that honour goes to Lieutenant Matsumoto."
"Nope", Ran shook her head, "I was wrong. This isn't flirting, it's foreplay."
The three arrancar contemplated this statement.
"I really did not want that image in my head. Fuck, that's scary." Grimmjow muttered.
"For once, I actually agree with you. Which is disturbing enough on its own, let alone in conjunction to this… new theory." Ulquiorra stated, trying his utmost to suppress a shudder as he turned his attention back to the battle.
It isn't exactly what you would call expected, but the two of them do seem to complement each other and bring out different aspects of their personalities. I suppose that this is the compatibility that the Eleventh's lieutenant was talking about, the way they can do that and match each other on the battlefield.
His thoughts drifted to the woman beside him, in a way that never failed to annoy him.
She was the third Espada. She is at least my equal, and possibly more powerful than me. It would be interesting to spar against her. I wonder if she moves as gracefully in battle as she does in everything else…
Where the fuck did that come from?
I need to sort out what these feelings mean, or if they even mean anything at all. I refuse to acknowledge Grimmjow's lewd suggestions as a possible theory. Arrancar lack the capacity to develop such emotional or physical attachments, I am an arrancar and therefore also immune to them. To even start to think otherwise is ridiculous.
Against his will he thought of Stark and Lillinette, of Nel and her affection for Ichigo.
They are exceptions, freaks. The only reason I am bothered by my captain's attachment to that hoodlum with the ludicrous hair colour is because it is unnatural for our kind. That is all there is to it.
His thoughts were broken off by the roar of the crowd, drawing his attention back to what was happening in front of him. Nel glanced at him and smiled.
"You still with us? It looked like you were having a moment."
She was perceptive. He'd have to be careful of that. "I was, I suppose. What did I miss?"
"No more clothing has been removed, and neither of them have drawn blood yet. They're surprisingly evenly matched."
The captains they spoke of were circling each other once more, the identical bloodthirsty grins still in place on their respective faces, before Kenpachi lunged forward, sword outstretched. Unohana leapt, landing on the flat, upturned face of his sword and they stayed, staring at each other from their unusual positions.
The crowd held their breath.
Faster than Yachiru after candy, Captain Unohana ran up the length of her opponent's sword and arm, her own weapon a blur as she brought it down, before vaulting away. There was a pause that seemed to last forever, before the blood spurted from where the tendon had been severed on Kenpachi's arm as the sword dropped from his hand and the crowd, particularly the Fourth Division end, went wild.
Ulquiorra gave a satisfied nod, as Ran turned to caution him. "You do realise that most of your battle will be getting Yachiru to pay up, don't you?"
"Screw that, he still bet and won!" Nel replied, "That deserves a high five."
Ulquiorra turned to stare at her outstretched hand and the palm facing him with some confusion, before laying his own palm against hers, mirroring her actions.
He'd been to the living world on a mission once during a storm, and seen a tree struck by lightening. He had a feeling that this was how the tree felt. Something strange seemed to course through him, and every nerve felt like it was on fire, a fire that didn't burn from pain, but something entirely different. Somehow it felt like he could sense every inch of the skin against his, as he brushed against her warm, impossibly soft palm.
This… isn't normal. It can't be. I need to breathe, somewhere where she isn't, somewhere where she won't get inside my head. This is insanity.
He pulled his hand back. Nel looked dazed, but quickly snapped into her customary sweet smile. "I forgot, you'd hardly be an expert on human world habits. The palms are meant to slap. It's kind of like applauding, but only being one half of the applause."
"Indeed. If you'll excuse me Neliel, but I should probably return to the office to continue with the paperwork."
"Of course. Are you still sure you can't call me Nel?"
"Very. I will see you back at the division, Neliel."
He strode off, desperate to get some distance.
That does it; I'm seeing Orihime tonight. I refuse to put up with this any longer.
He walked on, oblivious to the way the hand she had touched continued to clench and unclench.
Nel watched him go, still reeling from the rush that had overpowered her when they had made contact.
All we did was touch hands! That shouldn't make me feel like this. Hell, that shouldn't make me feel anything. Kami, what am I getting myself into?
Rangiku watched as her good friend and the pale arrancar parted, and smiled knowingly, only to realise she was not the only one doing so. She sidled up to her fellow observer.
"You know, Grimmjow, I think those two may eventually need some help sorting themselves out. And who better to help than their friends? Just a little something to keep in mind."
He grinned back at her and drawled, "Rangiku, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."