Disclaimer: I don't even own any of the bleach you can buy in the supermarket.

Listening to: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – 'Love Burns."

Enjoy kiddies. I certainly did, this chapter was so fun to write.

Chapter 10

"C'mon, ya know you wanna!"

"No, Grimmjow. I refuse to spend my weekend buying you drinks with my hard-won bar tab. For one thing, it will beggar my division, and for another, it will involve me spending the weekend in your company. Neither of these things appeal to me in the slightest. I have agreed to join you tonight on the condition that you will leave me alone for the next week, and that is all I am willing to concede. Now drop it."

Ulquiorra trudged along the street wondering if spending tonight with the other arrancar and his 'drinking buddies' was really going to be worth it. Yes, it would leave him Grimmjow-free for an entire seven days, but that was only in theory. And Seireitei only knew what Grimmjow would throw at him during the course of the evening. He'd already had to dodge one insinuation about his captain, and there would not doubt be many more…

"Jus' one round. I won't bug you for any more, I swear. It's not like you even drink anyway."

"I plan to try tonight."

"What brought on the change of heart?" A grin slipped over his companion's features. "She drinks, doesn't she?"

"I have no idea who you could be referring to." Ulquiorra replied coldly.

It might almost be worth getting him drunk in the hopes that it will shut him up. On the other hand, I hardly wish to jeopardise my cordial relations with my captain by forcing her to foot an enormous bar tab. Especially given my current plan.

The last week had, admittedly, been torture. It was all too easy to spend time around Neliel, which was helpful, but it was driving him insane being this close to her. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but he didn't. He wanted to follow through on his almost-kiss from that night, but he didn't. He wanted to stop dreaming about her, but he didn't, although at least that one was already out of his control. It was maddening, trying to attend to paperwork when she was right there on the other side of the room, completing her own stack and occasionally shaking the hair out of her eyes (he wanted so badly to brush it out of her face for her, to feel it on his fingertips again), or talking to a subordinate in her gentle, lilting voice (he found himself listening out for it, enjoying the way it sounded), or just being.

But it was necessary; he would remind himself. Eventually this would fade and he could go back to being his usual calm and collected self, or so he hoped. He hadn't seen a diminishing in his emotional reactions yet, but perhaps this was something that had to get worse before it got better. Many illnesses were like that, and he had started to think of this as his own personal disease. He did hope it cleared up soon. Every once in a while he found himself enjoying being sick, and it disturbed him no end. It also did nothing to improve his mood in general.

Masking a grimace, he caught up with Grimmjow who had walked ahead while he was lost in thought.

"Just who are we spending time with tonight? Please tell me that the rest of the people I will be seeing are not as obnoxious as you are."

"Che, you can be such a prick sometimes - wait, who am I kidding? You're a prick all the freaken time. How ya captain puts up with you is beyond me."

"Who, Grimmjow?"

"I dunno. Ichigo and Renji, an' anyone else who swings by. Apparently we're playin' a drinking game."

Ulquiorra stopped in his tracks. "No."

"Aww, c'mon, ya might even have fun. 'Course, I dunno if you're even capable of having fun, but it's worth a try."

"No."

Grimmjow paused, and considered his options before grinning. "Tell you what. If you agree to come and play the drinking game, I'll stop hinting about you and ya captain. Seriously, I promise."

Silence greeted this offer.

Grimmjow shrugged. "Fine, you clearly got better things to do." He grinned. "Or better people. Planning to wrap those long legs of Nel's around your scrawny hips and - "

"Fine. I'm going. Now shut up." Ulquiorra resumed plodding toward the bar.

He had not needed that mental image. Now I really do need a drink, damn him. That was not helpful.

Grimmjow allowed himself a brief, triumphant smile before following.

xXx

Two hours later, Ulquiorra had decided two things. Firstly, he hated alcohol. He felt dizzy, strange and was having trouble with basic motor functions, and none of these were things he enjoyed. Secondly, no matter what Grimmjow promised to do, he was not playing 'I never' again as long as he drew anything that resembled breath. The game was juvenile, pointless and contributing to the overall amount of alcohol he drank. Worse – it was his turn.

"C'mon, 'Quiorra", a very intoxicated Ichigo slurred out, "it's ya go. Unless you're too drunk to talk."

Lifting his head from the table, Ulquiorra fixed the new captain with a steely glare. "I am not yet that intoxicated, trash."

"An' he's back to callin' us trash!" Grimmjow cheered. "That's the Espada we know and hate." He poured himself another shot of sake. "Ya know, yer really not a very fun drunk."

"I'm devastated to hear that you're disappointed. Truly. My non-existent heart bleeds." Ulquiorra's head returned to its resting place on the table.

"No' the point", Renji broke in, "it's still ya turn."

With a very audible sigh, Ulquiorra lifted his head once more to glare at them all blearily. "Fine. I have never wanted to kill every person at this table."

"There's someone at this table ya don't wanna kill?" Ichigo was surprised, to say the least.

"Awww, I knew ya liked me deep down." Grimmjow draped an arm around Ulquiorra.

"Remove the arm before I cero it. I was referring to Captain Abarai. I don't know him well enough to want to kill him." With a shove that removed Grimmjow from his bar stool, Ulquiorra turned to the others. "Well, get drinking."

The other three men downed their shots.

"Wait, what 'bout you?" Grimmjow said suddenly, turning to his fellow arrancar.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you're at this table too. This mean you wanna kill yaself?"

Ulquiorra concealed an eye roll. "At this point in the evening, and given the current company, I wouldn't rule it out."

Meanwhile, Ichigo was glaring at Renji. "Oi, when'd you wanna kill me?"

The other captain shook his head. "Rukia, execution, remember?"

"Ah, right."

"Wait, if you weren't even thinking about that, then when'd ya wanna kill me?"

"Uh, gee, look at that, it's Grimmjow's turn."

"I won't forget this, ya little shit."

"Yeah ya will", Ichigo replied. "I've seen how much you've had tonight."

"Fuck you."

"Eh, is it my go or not?" Grimmjow interjected.

"Fine. Go ahead and make your inane statement."

"You know Ulquiorra, I don't think ya really drunk. You still sound like a complete tool." Ichigo muttered.

"Oi! My turn." Grimmjow cleared his throat and grinned at Ulquiorra. "I've never had to carry my captain home from a bar."

Ulquiorra glared at the shot glass placed in front of him, and then at Grimmjow. "Death. Too good for you. Remember that."

"Whatever. Drink up. Ichigo's turn."

The substitute shinigami considered this, and then a smile spread across his features that unsettled all present. "Fine. I've never had an impure thought about my captain."

Silence greeted this, before Ulquiorra turned and fixed a furious, drunken look somewhere beyond Grimmjow's left shoulder. "You promised, you bastard."

"No, I said I wouldn't bring it up. I didn' say they wouldn't."

Ichigo grinned. "Nel, huh? Well, time to take ya shot."

Ulquiorra drank up before shooting them all a murderous look. "I hate you all. My revenge will be terrible."

The orange-haired captain chuckled. "Yep. Still worth it. Anyway, he wasn't the only one who went awful quiet jus' then. Any o' you wanna share?"

Grimmjow stared at the table for a minute, before reaching over to pour himself a shot. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow. "Soi Fon? Three weeks ago you showed up in my quarters raving and claiming that she was, and I quote, "the bitch queen from the dimension of the ultra bitches". You ceroed a hole in my wall while yelling it, which, by the way, you still have not fixed. You've constantly been complaining that she beats you up in training and that you would love to be able to return the favour. What changed?"

Grimmjow mumbled something incoherent.

"Sorry", Ichigo said with a smile, "I didn't quite catch that."

"I said, I like that 'bout her." Grimmjow repeated, his eyes fixed on his feet.

"Indeed." Ulquiorra couldn't help but suddenly feel as though he was in a better mood. Grimmjow noticed this. "Yer not gonna let this go, are ya?"

"You have been insinuating things about Neliel and I for weeks. What do you think?"

"Shit. I'm screwed."

"Precisely."

"All right", Ichigo began, "I think it might be time t' call it a – wait, Renji, why'd you take a shot?"

The other captain was as red as his hair. "I don' wanna talk about it."

"But, both ya captains have been men! Actually, I guess that explains a lot, come to think of it…"

Grimmjow started to laugh.

Renji slumped face forward on the table, but was still very audible as he growled, "I said, I don't wanna talk about it, Ichigo."

"Ok, so you like men. That's cool, just please, at least tell me it wasn't Kenpachi."

"Shit. No, not Kenpachi, ok?"

"But that leaves - "

"I don't want to talk about it. That really so hard for ya to understand?"

"Damn. All this time everyone's been thinking you're interested in a Kuchiki, they jus' picked the wrong one."

"Ichigo, I will kill you."

"Yeah, 'coz that worked so well last time ya tried."

"Fuck you."

It was time, Ulquiorra decided, to do what he should have done before they even began the game. He stood up, and started to head to the door only to feel the world go fuzzy. He slumped back down, ignoring Grimmjow's snigger.

It would appear that I'm not quite as sober as I thought. Well all the same, I'm damned if I stay here.

He made a second attempt to rise, and this time the world stayed put. Deciding this was good enough, he mumbled a 'good night' to the other three and left the bar. He made it two blocks before he felt queasy and realised that leaving had not been the best of ideas. He slumped against the nearest wall and rested, weighing his options – go back to the bar and then be laughed at by Grimmjow, continue on and hope he didn't vomit, or wait here and sober up before attempting the walk home. The first one was clearly not going to happen if he could help it, the second had very unappealing potential consequences, and so he was left with the third, he decided, just as his eyelids gave up the struggle to remain open.

xXx

Nel had found many strange things walking home from a night at Rangiku's at 3am in the morning. A bonfire made entirely of the Eighth's paperwork sprung to mind (Nanao still hadn't entirely forgiven Shunsui for that one), or Yachiru directing the Eleventh to make a human pyramid. There was also an incident where she thought she'd spotted a pterodactyl, which was why she would never drink tequila ever again. Still, all these findings paled in comparison to her latest discovery – a very drunk Ulquiorra propped up against the wall, his head resting on his right shoulder. This, she decided while walking closer, warranted further investigation.

He looked remarkably peaceful when he slept. Awake, the strain of hiding his emotions would sometimes show, and she wished that she could shake some sense into him and get him to just express them. At the same time, though, she liked that. She liked how rare his expressions were, it made them almost special.

And then there's that little half-smile thing he does… Damn, I love that. I love that I can provoke that in him. Still, it would be something to see him smile for real… Wait, is he –

She leaned forward, and her suspicions were confirmed – her lieutenant was snoring lightly. She grinned.

Fuck, that's cute. Makes me wish I had a camera. Now, what to do with him? I certainly can't leave him here, and he's already been nice enough to return me home once, so I suppose I get to return the favour.

She gently poked his shoulder, only to get a slurred and yet somehow precise, "Grimmjow, I will kill you. I mean it this time."

Stifling a giggle, Nel poked him again. "I'm not Grimmjow. C'mon, time to get up."

That voice was all too familiar to Ulquiorra. This cannot be happening. Please, tell me I'm having yet another of those dreams, and that Neliel has not just found me passed out in the street. He opened one eye, only to look into the pair of deep grey orbs that he had been trying to get out of his head for far too long now. Not dreaming then. Why me?

He didn't look happy at all, Nel thought, but then, being caught drunk by your captain would do that to most people.

"For the record, this is all Grimmjow's fault."

"I'm sure it is", Nel replied, hoping he was too drunk to notice how close she was to just collapsing in the street laughing. "You know, this makes me feel so much better about you having to carry me home the other night", she added as he struggled to his feet. He turned to her with a very odd expression.

"Neliel, unfortunately the effects of drinking alcohol have rendered me unable to tell the difference between raising my eyebrow and raising my upper lip but, just in case there is confusion, I'm currently looking at you with a mixture of disdain and reproach."

She grinned. "I appreciate the clarification. Now come on, time to get you somewhere where you can pass out without potential mortification later."

"And here I was thinking that my mortification potential had been reached", he grumbled as he lurched down the street, occasionally using the walls for support.

It was a struggle, but they made it to Ulquiorra's quarters without any disasters, for which Ulquiorra was profoundly grateful. The walk home had even been slightly comforting, as he'd listened to Neliel talk about an incident involving dinosaur spotting and the hazards of a drink called tequila and tried to focus on walking in a straight line. It would probably have been easier without her presence. She kept biting her lip to stop herself from laughing at him as he stumbled, and it was drawing his attention to her mouth when it should have been focussed on where he was putting his feet. She really did have a beautiful mouth, he couldn't help but think, with those soft, full lips and the way they curved so easily into a smile. That was another thing he didn't like about alcohol – it was harder to control his thoughts and he found them fixed on her with no intention of moving. He should have been glad when he arrived home, it meant that they could go their separate ways, but as he fumbled for his keys he felt that strange mixture of confusion and longing that always seemed to herald her departure. She was all too quick to notice when his mood changed.

"You ok?"

"Well, I did spend an evening with Grimmjow, only to end up drunk and having divulged things I would rather have remained secret thanks to a drinking game, and then, to top off my evening of merriment, I passed out in the street and was found by my captain. All things considered, I'm fine." He finally fitted the key into the lock and let himself in. "Thank you for getting me home."

"Not so fast", Nel admonished with a grin. "I want to be sure you don't just pass out on the floor as soon as you get in, never mind the part where I owe you some coffee supplies."

Ulquiorra raised what he sincerely hoped was an eyebrow. "Very well. Excuse me if I don't show you around, I have a comfortable flat surface to embrace."

She laughed and walked into the kitchen. Ulquiorra gazed after her, shook his head and tried to remember where his bedroom was.

Is it just the alcohol, or is it far too warm in here? I had best remedy that…

xXx

Ten minutes later, Nel was still staring at Ulquiorra's kitchen.

Well, he has coffee, plenty of food and shows no signs of being likely to choke on his own vomit. You've officially run out of excuses to stay, Nel. Kami, I'm worse than the idiots in our division who spend their time trying to follow him around. At least they can keep their distance and know when to quit. Me, I'm in his kitchen, trying to think up reasons not to leave.

I am such a tool.

She sighed and rested her head against the wall.

Time to get out before you humiliate yourself.

"You're still here? I thought you would have let yourself out."

Nel turned around to reply, only to feel the words die on her tongue as she took in the sight of a very sleepy, very drunk and very shirtless Ulquiorra standing in the doorway.

Breathe. Just breathe. Ok, stop staring, and then breathe. Oh Kami, no one should look that good.

She had known that he was strong, that he was attractive and that he drew her in, in a way that no one else ever had. That still didn't prepare her for the sheer heat flooding her as she took in the expanse of pale, defined chest suddenly exposed to her. The black four tattooed on his side caught her attention, and she wondered - would he react if she traced the path inked on his skin? What would it be like to feel him underneath her fingertips…

Her eyes had become almost silver, an expression in them that he couldn't read, and he suddenly felt as though his world had contracted and that they were all that existed. Every trace of the desire for her that he had suppressed and hidden from seemed to slam into him anew, leaving him breathless as he stared at her.

I didn't… I didn't think I was capable of this. I want her. I want her so badly it aches to be here and not touch, not reach out. I always thought people were crazy, to act on a feeling as ridiculous as this, but it consumes. There isn't anything else left, all I can do is want – no – need her.

He was still staring at her, she realised.

Kami, I probably look deranged. I need to get out before I do something stupid.

She stepped forward only to realise that, with him in the doorway, she was now only inches away from him. She looked up, grey eyes met green, and everything seemed to go very still. Desperate for a distraction, she broke the silence.

"Uh, well, you have plenty of coffee."

"I know." He paused. "All the same thank you, Neliel."

"Are you ever going to call me Nel?"

He smiled his almost-smile. "No. Do you really mind?"

"No."

They fell back to staring at one another, Ulquiorra's mind racing.

I'm drunk, I'm not thinking clearly. It is a bad idea to remain near her. It is an even worse idea to kiss her. It is an atrocious idea to ravish her in my kitchen. However, it seems like these are the only ideas I've got. I should move away, but there's something in her expression that keeps me here…

It was definitely time to get out before she did something stupid. Like jump my inebriated lieutenant.

"Uh, good night then. I'll see you on Monday. I left Ran's hangover recipe on the counter, so that should help you tomorrow. I'll, uh, show myself out."

And with that she was gone. Ulquiorra blinked.

For a second, this feeling seemed almost… mutual.

What am I thinking? Even if I am correct in such a ridiculous assumption, that is not the point of my friendship with Neliel. I am trying to rid myself of this, not encourage it, no matter how tempting it may be to do otherwise.

Besides, I am drunk. I probably imagined whatever it was I thought I saw, like that occurrence Neliel was telling me about with some sort of pterosaur.

It doesn't matter anyway. I have to stop dwelling on this.

He finally removed himself from the kitchen doorway, and staggered toward his bed.

I desperately need sleep. I can think this over in the morning.

Still, I wonder what it would be like if it were mutual…

Shaking his head at his wayward thoughts he collapsed into bed, his last coherent mental image of a beautiful green-haired woman whose grey eyes turned silver before his arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close.

Definitely all Grimmjow's fault.