Love You, Hate You
Disclaimer - Dark Angel is not mine, nor do i claim to own it
Summary - Read it.
At 5.30pm Alec and Jamie were sitting in his car outside Maxs' work waiting on her leaving.
Alec was nervous and one thing Alec never was, was nervous he didn't know how Max would feel about him being here and with Jamie.
Looking at the little boy he was staring out the window watching for any sign of his mother, he'd missed her a lot the ride over all he could do was talk about her and Alec was more than happy to listen.
"There she is!" Jamie announced pointing at the door of the building Alec looked over to where he was pointing and smiled. She still looked great after what he assumed had been a busy day and she had not one hair out of place and was smiling to herself.
'Probably can't wait to see Jamie' Alec thought so himself. Opening the door of the car he jumped out lifting Jamie out also. "Let's go get her" Alec smiled.
"Mummy!" Jamie called out trying to get her attention.
Max stopped and looked around, she could have sworn she heard Jamie's voice, shrugging it off as just her imagination, she'd had a long day and all she wanted was to hold her son.
She continued down the steps outside her work building and that's when she spotted them. They looked perfect together.
Alec was holding Jamie in his arms leaning back against his car, watching her. She couldn't help the smile that formed on her face from seeing them together. It just looked so right.
He was smirking at her and Jamie was wriggling trying to get down. She nodded her head and Alec let him down and he took off running straight into his mother's arms.
She caught him as he jumped into her arms and swung him around holding him close to her body she squeezed him tight "I missed you" she said honestly.
"Missed you too mummy" Jamie smiled at her a huge genuine smile on his face.
Max's gaze flicked over to where Alec was then back to her son "did you have a good day?" she asked settling him on her hip.
Jamie nodded his head "Alec and I had fun" he said looking at him "I bet you did" Max said as she walked towards Alec.
"Hey"
Max smiled "Hi" they stood in silence for a few moments not quite sure what to say until Alec explained why he was there "Jamie wanted to pick you up"
Max smiled "I think he missed you" he added
"I missed him" Max said honestly the love shining in her eyes.
"I missed you too" Alec said not bothering to hide the smirk he had on his face.
Max scoffed and looked away "Well thanks but I'll get a cab home"
Jamie's eyes widened as did Alec's "Why?" they both asked at the same time and Max shook her head.
'God could they be more cute?' she asked herself.
"Because its late honey" Max tried to explain to her son but she watched as tears began to form in his eyes and she started silently cursing herself for going to Alec's engagement party.
"What did you do to him?" Max demanded in an accusing tone.
Alec was gobsmacked "What?" he asked not knowing what the hell she was on about.
"He's upset" Max said indicating her son
"And that's my fault?" Alec fought back
"You're the one he's been with"
Alec stepped away not trusting himself to be close to her, he wasn't sure what he would do.
"Running away?" Max asked in a bitter tone.
Alec turned on her "That's your job" he said in low tone a deadly look in his eye.
Max looked down, he had her there she was the one that ran away. "Alec didn't do anything mummy" Jamie said as he watched his new friend kick the side of his car.
"Damn it!" he swore taking his frustration out on the car.
Max looked at him "then what's wrong baby?" she asked in a soft tone of voice "I don't want to leave Alec" he explained.
Alec heard him and straightened up, suddenly remembering he was still there.
"Oh" Max said suddenly realising she had got it wrong.
She looked at Alec with an apologetic look on her face, Alec refused to look at her instead her kept his eyes focused on the boy and spoke to him.
"Jamie" he said getting his attention, once he was sure he had it he spoke again "you go with your mum buddy and I'll see you again soon" he didn't really believe it because he had a feeling this would be the last time he saw either one of them and that thought hurt.
Jamie shook his head violently looking at his mother expecting her to say something but she didn't "mummy" Max ignored him she couldn't look at him because she didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.
"See you around Max" Alec said as he walked around to the driver's side of the car.
Max watched him she knew if she let him get in the car without saying anything then all her troubles would be over, she wouldn't have to see him again and she could get back on with her life like it was before. But that thought scared her she didn't really want that did she?
'Let him drive away' her head said but it was her heart that said something different 'Stop him'
"Alec" she said just loud enough for him to hear. He stopped, his body frozen and as much as he tried he couldn't move.
"I'm sorry" she said sounding a little more confident.
"Get in the car" he said without looking at her and she smiled, he never was good with feelings and that was his way of telling her it was forgotten so she did as he said and got in the car.
Once inside it was back to normal "Where we going Jamie?" he asked looking at the boy through the interior mirror.
"I'm hungry"
"Max?"
"I'm hungry too" she admitted "I'll take you back to mine and cook" he grinned.
"You can cook?"
He nodded with a slight smile on his face
"Liar" she laughed
He shrugged "Well I know a great Chinese"
"You've only been here 4 days" she reminded him
"I know" he said in that over confident manner of his
2 hours later Max was sitting on Alec's sofa. They had called a Chinese not long after arriving and now Jamie was fast asleep on Alec's sofa.
"Should I put him on my bed?" Alec asked pointing at Jamie.
"Uh…I really should get home"
"Soon" he promised picking up the little boy making sure not to wake him he walked him into his bedroom, Max followed.
"Damn" he swore
"What is it?" Max asked worriedly from behind him
Alec placed Jamie down on the bed and Max noticed the mess on the floor.
"What happened?" she asked pointing at the remains of his TV on the floor.
He shrugged as if it was nothing "Jamie had an accident and the TV fell"
He noticed her eyes widen and quickly added "he wasn't hurt" he watched as she visibly relaxed at those 3 words.
"So how did it happen?"
"Didn't ask" he said as he started picking up the pieces
"Why didn't you ask?" she inquired as she helped him pick it up.
He looked at her, his head cocking to the side in thought "not a big deal its broken I'm not going to cry over it"
"Unlike some people" he muttered
"What was that?" Max asked as she followed him to the door where he placed the broken TV.
"Nothing" he walked towards his fridge and pulled it open "drink?"
She ignored his question and asked again "What were you talking about?" she demanded her hands moving to rest on her hips.
Realising she wasn't going to shut up until he told her he decided to get it over with "Jamie told me he accidentally broke Logan's laptop"
Max nodded waiting for him to continue "and he said Logan shouted at him"
"He was upset" Max said not quite knowing where he was going with this
"Oh so it's ok for him to shout at him and tell him he's bad?" he was getting angry and he had no idea why, he wasn't even his kid and he wanted to beat the crap out of him.
"He said what?" Max asked. Alec noticed the look on her face and realised she didn't know that little piece of information.
"Calm down" he said as he watched her get angry at the thought of it.
"He's dead" she stated with a deadly look on her face she grabbed her coat and made her way to the door and he ran in front of her.
Blocking her exit he said "kill him later right now we can do that talking thing"
"The talking thing?"
"Yeah we've tried it before, now I think we should do it"
"Ok" she agreed. He grabbed hold of her hand he didn't think about it he just did it and pulled her over to the sofas.
"So"
"So" she repeated.
"You left me" he said out of nowhere.
Max gulped and looked around trying to numb the pain she felt from those words "I didn't have a choice"
"You could have called" he argued.
"Do you think it was easy for me to leave you?" she demanded to know.
"Wanna know what I think?" he asked, she nodded signalling that yes she did want to know "I think my girlfriend told me she was going on a trip with her family for 2 days and never came back"
Max rolled her eyes "And I think that killed me" he admitted.
"I did come back" Max said quietly
"What? When?" he asked not believing her.
"18 months after we left, I missed you so much and they wouldn't let me call you and I didn't want to write to you because I didn't want to tell you how I felt in a letter so I ran away, i ran to you"
"How come I don't remember this?"
"Sam caught me and told me I wasn't going alone so we both came back, it was 9pm when I arrived in town and I knew where you and Ben would be so I headed for there"
"Crash" he said with a knowing nod.
"Yeah so I walked into crash and as soon as I opened the door I saw you"
"Why didn't you come to me?"
"You weren't alone" she said her voice hard.
"Oh" he said he had a feeling he knew what was coming next.
"Sophie what's her face was draped all over you" she said in a disgusted voice.
He looked away ashamed.
"And it broke my heart you'd moved on, I hadn't thought about you moving on all I could think about was how much I missed you"
"I missed you" he said holding back the tears that were forming in his eyes.
"Not enough" she accused and he got angry
"18 months! Was I meant to wait for you!?" he demanded in an angry voice.
"You weren't meant to go with the one chick that was trying to get you the whole time we were together"
"And did I ever look at her when we were together? NO! Because I wanted you" he reminded her.
She continued with her story "Sam wanted to kill you but I didn't want you to know I was there so I walked away, not before I smashed your car window" she said a smile appearing on her face as she recalled smashing the window.
"That was you?" he asked shaking his head
She bit her lip and nodded
"You know I beat the crap out of Zack because I thought it was him"
"No it was me"
"Bitch" he said light heartedly
"After that I decided to forget about you, you had clearly moved on it was time for me to do the same so that's what I did"
Alec listened to her and he wasn't sure whether or not to tell her how her leaving had affected him.
"You know how I was the bad boy when we were together?" she nodded "And everyone was scared of me?" again she nodded "Well after you left I got worse"
She raised her eyebrows "You kept me grounded when you were around I wasn't that bad but when I didn't have you any longer I just flew off the handle at anything, especially when someone would mention you" he admitted
"What happened?" she asked, he looked at her oddly "Obviously your no longer like that" she added
"My gran died"
Max gasped "Oh Alec" she said in a shocked voice "I didn't know"
He gave a half smile "I know, she loved you, before she died she told me to find you"
His voice broke and he couldn't help the tears that started falling from his eyes. Looking at Max he could see the silent tears running down her face "She said we were meant to be together and that if you came back and seen how I was acting you'd kill me"
Max laughed, she always loved Alec's grandmother "True"
"She said we were meant to be, that we were lucky to find our soul mate so young in life"
Max looked away taking it in as best she could.
"Those were her last words to me after that she died in my arms"
Max got up and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry" she said kissing his head.
"So I changed, I wanted to be the man she knew I could be"
"And here you are" Max said through her tears "Here I am" he agreed still holding her in his arms.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked his voice barely above a whisper.
Max froze and Alec could feel her body tense under his hands.
"We're engaged Alec" she reminded him, still not able to take her hands off him, 6 years it had been since her hands had been on him and she wasn't ready to remove them.
"Not to each other" he looked her in the eye.
"If I kiss you I wouldn't stop at a kiss" she admitted
"I can live with that" he informed her with a smile.
"We can't go back"
"I don't want to I want to go forward"
"With Rachel" she added
He made a face "You"
"I'm with Logan"
"I'm prettier" he laughed at himself and she slapped him on the back of the head "Maybe" she agreed.
He pulled back still not letting her go anywhere and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Friends?" he asked with a smile
"Friends" she smiled and he added "For now"
Max grinned and shook her head.
Looking at the clock on his wall Max decided it was time for her to get home.
"I better get going"
"Why don't you leave him here?" he asked deadly serious
"I don't think so"
"He won't mind, he loves me"
"Yeah maybe but I don't want to bother you"
"No bother, I'm offering"
"How will I get home?"
"Who said I was taking you anyway?" he joked "Ben"
"Sure you're ok with it?" She checked
"Yeah you go home and rest and don't worry about him you deserve a rest and I'll bring him home in the morning" he promised
"Ok"
Alec called Ben and told him to come pick up Max and take her home, they'd bickered about how he couldn't do it but once he explained he was keeping Jamie, Ben suddenly became more than happy to help.
10 minutes later Ben pulled up outside. Max said her goodbyes and walked down to meet him.
Alec watched her drive away, standing on his balcony he realised something he still didn't know who the father of Jamie was and that was something he really needed to know.
A/N - Tell me what you think!