I must be dreaming
Shaking my head I take a step back, a growl forms in his chest.
"You dare tell anyone and I'll hurt you to!"
I nod my head repeatedly; his lips turn into a twisted smile
"Good."
He leaves now, and I slide on my knees to get closer to my best friend.
"Oh Vicky, I never thought – out of all of the toms in the world Plato turned out to be just like Dad."
She nods, both of our Mothers went through the same with Macavity. But unlike Victoria, it was obvious Demeter and Griddlebone was going through pain. Victoria hides her pain, like she's wearing a mask, she occasionly grunts or moans if Pouncival tags her to hard or if Misto playfully punches her shoulder. I can sometimes see a few absent bruises or cuts but nothing major; I wonder how she can stand it.
"Vicky? How do you do it? I mean now you're covered in bruises and cuts but when you come out to play your fur is as pure as ever, you can hardly see the faint traces of gray going up your curves!"
Victoria chuckles "My human has this white stuff called powder, I roll around in it every morning."
I join in with her giggling but secretly I'm dying inside how long until my best friend is completely broken, a single tear falls, she flinches.
"Jemima, I don't have much more time on this planet, please promise me. After I die, I want you to reveal what Plato is, can you do that?"
I nod "But you're not going to die" I whisper softly "You're going to pull through this, I know you are"
She laughs, "You know as well as I do that I only have a few moments left."
"I don't like this" I murmur darkly "But I'll tell Old Deuteronomy, I promise."
Victoria smiles faintly "Good bye Jemima."
My eyes widen "Not now! Please Vicky don't leave me now!"
But it's two late, my friends blue eyes roll back into her head and she dies, a smile etched on her face.
I back away and tears stream down my face, no this can't be real! I'm dreaming! I trace my claw across my wrist to see if it's all a stupid dream. Blood oozes out and a sharp sensation tickles my wrist, it's not a dream this is all real.
"How can I pretend that I don't see
What you hide so carelessly?
I saw her bleed
You heard me breathe
So I froze inside myself
And turned away
I must be dreaming"
I slash my wrist deeper and deeper, I want to slash out at Plato like that, I want to slash his throat open, I want to beat him senseless, I want him to feel her pain. Plato, the tom I trusted as my friend, the tom whom I accepted as my best friends' loving mate. Loving, ha! I make myself laugh, I thought he was loving but he really was a monster! Just like my brute of a father! I shiver, my wrist is now dripping in crimson blood, another absent tear falls as I look at my best friends corpse.
I lick the scarlet mess of my wrist and hold myself, I need Victoria, I need her to be here for me, I need her to hold me and tell me everything's going to be all right.
"We all live
We all die
That does not begin to justify you."
I want this to be a dream, I want this to be in my head. I want to wake up and Victoria to be outside, waiting for me. And she'd be fine and happy and Plato would be normal and they'd both be happily in love. And everything would be normal….
"It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No I must be dreaming"
I remember my promise, I dart up and sprint into the middle of the junkyard. As always my dear grand father is sitting on the giant tire, I jump up
"Grandfather – Plato – Victoria – Dead!"
"Slow down Jemima, now, take a deep breath and tell me what happened, slowly…"
I obediently take a breath,
"I saw Plato beat Victoria, she – she's lying in their den… dead."
His emotion turned grave "Such a heavy burden for someone so small to bear, do not worry Jemima, Munkustrap will take it from here. Munkustrap nods darkly and heads off to Victoria's den with Alonzo strutting behind him. I blink the tears back, Old Deuteronomy sighs gravely
"It was a very grave loss Jemima, you have every reason to be depressed" I nod and sigh softly
"Help you know I've got to tell someone
Tell them what I know you've done
I fear you but spoken fears can come true
We all live
We all die
That does not begin to justtify you
It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No I must be dreaming…"
Tears spurt from my eyes as I jump up on the bumper of the old car, I jump higher where I sang my solo with Grizabella. I gaze up into the moon
"Such a dark night" I mutter softly "Not even the moon cheers me up on this grave and dark night."
"Not what it seems
Not what you think
I must be dreaming
Just in my mind
Not in real life
I must be dreaming….."