Guilty Nightmares
"Great work, everyone! You've worked hard and have alleviated the threat to Konoha. You should be proud of your efforts and your work accomplished. However, the threat is ever-present. Remember that."
The words of Tsunade, Godaime Hokage, were full of praise for the combined teams of Team Kakashi and Team Keira, Teams 7 and 8. However, and she was fully aware of this, those words of praise hardly tempered the feelings of sadness over the injuries of their comrade, the Commanding Jonin of Team 8, Keira Sato. Tsunade made mental notes of everyone's appearance: tired, haggard and worn out. Then, she noted the flak jacket of the team leader of team 7, Tenzo…blood. Blood was splattered everywhere on the front from Keira coughing up blood as he protectively, and affectionately, held her before she was treated.
"Yamato, are you ok?" asked Tsunade.
"Yes, why do you ask?" replied Tenzo calmly but fatigued.
"Look at yourself…are you sure?" said Tsunade.
To his horror, Tenzo looked at his flak jacket. Instead of merely splatters, the blood was flowing as if it were his own and being soaked into the rough fabric of the jacket. As he looked down, he saw a pool of blood at his feet and then noted that there was blood all over his hands and it was dripping to the floor. He began to shake in horror as everyone around him stood by and watched and not responding. He couldn't figure out why his teammates weren't doing anything and Tsunade merely commented on it as if it were not a major issue. It WAS a major issue, to him. There was blood everywhere and it wasn't going away. He tore open his flak jacket and determined that it wasn't coming from him so…from where?
The tears began to flow as he knelt at the pool of blood at his feet. His head kept screaming and his teammates were just standing around, watching.
What the hell are you doing? Senpai? Naruto? Sakura? Sai? Anyone???? Help me!?!
Then…everyone around him began to laugh. They were all laughing at his plight. The blood everywhere. It was sickening to him and the tears flowed steady.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Tenzo cried out loud. "I've been here for all of you, every single time."
Naruto was still laughing and drew his kunai, "Yeah, but what about Keira-taichou? Were you there for her? You're just scum. You didn't try to save her. You were interested in saving your own ass and letting her die."
"No! No! No! That's not true and you know it, Naruto. I love her. I would never leave her to die." Tenzo cried to deaf ears. The laughter was now deafening.
"But look at the blood everywhere. What a joke! You are a liar; you are still lying to all of us and to Keira-taichou. You wanted her to die, didn't you, Yamato-taichou?"
"Never! I would gladly trade places with her if I could. She's the last person on earth I'd want to have die. She's precious to me…" Yamato continued yelling but the laughter wouldn't stop. "You don't understand, any of you, do you? I love her and I'd give anything to have her back with us, I swear. I love her more than my own life."
"Oh, do you now?" said a very sarcastic Naruto with his kunai drawn, ready to strike at his Taichou. "You make me sick. I need to get rid of you. Sakura-chan, can you help me?" Naruto asked in a tone that was mocking to Tenzo.
"Yes, of course, Naruto. He needs to be taken care of," said Sakura with a very wicked and sinister laugh.
As Naruto approached him and no one else offered to help, kunai drawn, Tenzo waved his arms and said, "This is enough! You are going too far. It isn't my fault Keira-chan is dying. I tried, I really did…" the tears became overwhelming and he could no longer speak through his sobs. Then…stab…stab…stab and with each stab, a cry of pain, overwhelming pain. Sakura then molded chakra in her hands except it wasn't the healing variety – it was to attack; to maim; to kill. Sakura drew her hand back and cried "Shannaro!" a term meaning "Hell yeah!" And as she struck…
Tenzo screamed out loud and found himself in a dark room: his room of his apartment. It was a very warm night in Konoha so Tenzo was shirtless to keep himself cool while sleeping. Apparently, that didn't do the trick as he woke up sweaty; as if he had come out of a hot springs. He immediately turned on the light at his nightstand. He inspected his hands – no blood, to his relief. He inspected the floor – again, no blood. He looked everywhere: under the covers, the bed, on the bed coverings – nothing. Then he decided to check his flak jacket. Only there, where Keira had splattered blood on him from her injuries was there blood located. He hadn't cleaned his uniform yet; he was emotionally and physically exhausted from this mission. With that discovery, he finally relaxed and then he began to cry…then to sob and collapsed onto the floor on his knees with his head in his hands. His head pounded and his heart ached with pain and regret. He was also feeling guilt; he should have done more. He should have taken the injuries and not Keira.
Why did this have to happen? Why Keira-chan? Why now?
When Tenzo's sobbing eased, he made the brief walk to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of cold water which refreshed him. He took a second as he finished the first one quickly. He then made his way back to the bedroom. Upon entering, his eyes caught sight of the pictures that lay on the window sill above his head. All had meaning to him; they were of people who were precious to him. There was a family picture of himself and his now-deceased parents, who were killed in the raid on Konoha that also killed the Sondaime Hokage. There was another picture of his "adopted" family – Keira's. It had her parents, her two brothers – who happened to be his closest male friends - Izuma and Haichi and, in front, Keira. They were younger; the three men were in ANBU and Keira had just made Jonin and was in a normal flak jacket – an outfit she had a passionate disdain form. To him, she was still beautiful. Then there was a picture of Tenzo and his original Genin team. And the final two were both of Keira. One was a formal picture when she became the souzokunin, the next in line of leadership of her clan. She was in her formal attire which, of course, was stunning. It reflected a very different side of her; one that she had often said reflected the "trappings" of her position but was honored just the same. The other was an informal one, another side of the Keira he adored. In it, she is laughing, along with her brothers, as Tenzo had a bit of annoyed look on his face; a cocked eyebrow. Her face, as it always does, was fully animated in her laughter; her green eyes just danced in the happiness of the occasion. It was a playful moment between himself and Keira; she was teasing him as she frequently does, and it just happened to be caught on a photo. It was a relatively recent photo – all were "off duty" and it showed in their relaxed manner and dress. It was a gathering at the Sato home and it had been a while since that had occurred. Tenzo smiled; he remembered it clearly. As he did so, he touched Keira's face in the photograph and closed his eyes as he sighed with anguish.
Will I get another chance?
As he continued to stare at Keira's picture, he got out of bed again and walked to his living room and opened the door onto his deck that overlooked Konoha. It was very warm outside and the moon was just shy of full. The sky was clear and the light from the moon was especially bright. To his left, he could see the Hokage's offices and residence. Keira's flat was not far from his – it was straight ahead from him - and he could see it as well. No lights on inside. The thought that Keira wasn't home made him feel guilt; that he should have been injured, not him. Then, he glanced down at her picture that he still had in his hand. Her smile eased the guilt and made him, for a moment, smile. He began to yawn and then walked towards his bed. He finished the glass of water that was at his bedside. He placed the picture back in its place on the window sill. He kissed his fingers and touched her face.
I love you, Keira-chan. I swear I will never let this happen to you again.
His breathing then became relaxed and he fell back to sleep.
Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!
The sound of insistent knocking at his front door awoke him from Tenzo's less then restful sleep. He gathered his bathrobe and slippers, and wandered to the front door. When he opened it, he found Naruto and Sakura, both casually dressed, at the door. Naruto had a box in his arms.
"Can we come in, Yamato-taichou?" asked Sakura politely.
"Uh, oh, of course," Tenzo said, his brain still trying to engage after the sudden awakening. He opened the door wider and allowed them inside.
Naruto went to the table and put down the box and Sakura walked in with Tenzo.
"Were you sleeping? If so, we can leave you alone but I just wanted to drop this off with you." Sakura said, with a frown of concern.
"I also wanted to see how you were doing – and because the box she was carrying was so big," Naruto said with a big smile. Tenzo smiled in return.
"So, what's inside the box, Sakura?" Tenzo asked.
"Just some treats my mom and I made. We thought you might like some. We've all been worried, you know?"
"Why, thank you, Sakura. It was very kind of you and your mom." As Tenzo said this, his face took on a more saddened look and his eyes reflected the heartbreak and fatigue he was feeling.
"Sit down, Yamato-taichou. You look tired," said Naruto.
Tenzo smiled and then complied. "What's this about, you two?"
Naruto and Sakura looked at each other then back at Tenzo.
"Well, uh, Yamato-taichou, Sakura had to work this morning and found out something you might want to know about." Naruto said gently.
"What is it? Tell me." Tenzo said.
Sakura then went on to explain what happened that morning. She went to work and Tsunade had her doing some medical transcribing for her. She made some rounds with Tsunade as a matter of course, including the critical care area. However, with one patient, she noted that there was an ANBU stationed outside the door of a separate room. Because she was with Tsunade the ANBU allowed both inside. The patient was Keira. Though she was still a part of critical care, she was segregated from the rest of the critical patients.
This got Tenzo's attention.
"Why? What's the matter? That doesn't happen unless there is a threat," he said with his gentler manner but with a bit more urgency that was detectable by Sakura. It then occurred to Sakura: he's former ANBU.
"Well, when Master was gone, I did some checking and found out something I thought you should know," Sakura said with color in her cheeks. Tenzo realized that what he was about to hear was not common knowledge; it may be classified.
"Tell me, Sakura. I want to know. Is Keira all right?" asked Tenzo.
"Apparently, a dispatch came not long after we left the mission. A threat was made against Keira and it was specific; that's all that was said. It was also determined to be credible." Naruto immediately put a hand on Sakura's shoulder understanding that what she did could get her into some serious trouble. He looked at her reassuringly and Sakura seemed to appreciate the gesture. Tenzo smiled reassuringly.
"What typically happens in a case like that," Tenzo began, "is that ANBU are dispatched immediately to both verify the threat and to eliminate the enemy who made the threat. It is particularly important if the target of the threat is injured. That is why there were ANBU in proximity to Keira's room, which is a good thing. Any threat to a shinobi of Konoha is considered a threat to Konoha itself."
When he finished speaking, he took a deep breath.
Thank God she's safe. Nothing is going to happen to her…
"What about her condition?" asked Tenzo.
"She's improved a lot since she was brought in. She's stable but in critical condition. It will be a bit before she's upgraded. No visitors per ANBU and Tsunade-sama."
"Yeah, I figured as much." Said Tenzo with his gaze lowering.
"I know she's going to be fine," Naruto said with his characteristic infectious optimism. "Sakura-chan (who looked at him glowingly) and Grandma Tsunade will make sure of that. She'll be back out on missions again before we all know it! Believe it!"
Tenzo looked up at his junior teammates and smiled warmly. The light had come back to his eyes and he felt much more positive.
"Thank you both. You have no idea of how much it means to me that you've been here. I had a horrible time sleeping last night…" Tenzo's voice trailed off.
"Nightmares?" asked Sakura.
"Yeah. It was horrible," Said Tenzo flatly.
"I'll see what Tsunade-sama can do, if you'd like. She can probably prescribe a sedative," said Sakura with a look of concern.
It must be awful for him! He must be feeling so guilty but it wasn't his fault. I wish I could do more…
"Thanks, I appreciate it. Let me know, ok?" chirped Tenzo.
"We'll let you go as I know you have things to do but…don't worry. Keira's going to be fine," Sakura said with a smile.
"You bet," said Naruto.
"Thanks for coming by, you two. It means more than you know," said Tenzo.
"See you later," said Sakura. Naruto waved and they closed the door behind them.
Seeing what time it was, Tenzo thought he should at least make the effort to get dressed for the day. He thought he'd take a walk outside and then do laundry from the trip.
Tenzo stepped outside and it was unusually warm yet again, which meant a warm night was ahead. He walked around the neighborhoods he was familiar with. His mind wandered back to the very last time he spent time with Keira. Over the years, their relationship gradually moved away from being so tied to her brothers to being a healthy relationship between the two of them. It went from merely spending time together talking for hours to trips to eat dango to catching the latest movie or a trip to the library and then reading silently under a nearby tree while merely being together. It eventually progressed, once both were older, to dinners together either at each other's apartment or out at a local bar and grill or a restaurant both like. Over time, they became very comfortable in each other's company; so much so that even within the past few months Tenzo began to wonder what their relationship really was. They would often hold hands in public or while at a table waiting for dinner to be served. Hugs between the two were frequent and not just when saying goodbye either. Tenzo liked all of that, but they had come to that "fork in the road" in their relationship a long time ago. Oh, they had discussed their relationship many times, but it seemed to both of them that they wanted things to remain as they were. It was a combination of time away on missions and neither one wanting to make the first move.
"Yamato-taichou! Yamato-taichou!"
It was Sakura. "Come to Tsunade-sama's office. She has something for you."
"Thanks. I will be there in a few minutes." Tenzo hurried over to Tsunade's offices.
"Enter!" Tsunade called.
Tenzo entered upon opening the door and found Tsunade behind her desk as usual with her constant cup of green tea steeping on her right side. She had a warm smile and greeting for him.
"Tenzo! I've been expecting you." Tsunade used his real name and not the codename, Yamato, she had assigned. She was not expecting any of his teammates as she had 'do not disturb except by previous appointment' orders placed by Shizune.
"May I ask what this is about, Tsunade-sama?" asked a puzzled Tenzo.
"Here," and out of Tsunade's drawer were two small closed flasks. "These are sedatives to help you sleep. Drink one flask per day for two days. You should be back to your normal sleep rhythm by the time you are done. Be sure and take it with dinner."
"Ah, I see Sakura told you. Thank you, Tsunade-sama," a very relieved Tenzo said.
"She's improving at an incredible rate, Tenzo. You don't need to worry. She's going to be fine," Tsunade said with kind concern.
"That news I had not heard. I'm very glad of that," Tenzo continued.
"She may be transferred to her own private room within a day or two. I'm waiting for her chest to heal; a few ribs were broken as was the sternum. Thank God there was no other damage. It could have been far, far worse," stated Tsunade as a physician, not the Hokage.
"When can she have visitors?"
"Not for a couple more days. She needs to rest and to heal. And…" Tsunade stopped and carefully chose her words, "I hate to tell you this but I may have to send you on a mission at about that time. The missions are starting to pile up. Besides, it will allow you to get back to work and focus on something else. Keira just needs time." Tsunade knew what he was going through all too well. She lost both her younger brother, Nawaki, and her lover, Dan, within a brief span of time and was grief-stricken. She had many lost years of her life because of the incredible grief she carried. But, that was the past.
"I understand, Tsunade-sama," said Tenzo with respect. On the inside, he was seething – he didn't want to leave right now.
"You feel guilty for all of this, don't you?" Tsunade moved forward in her chair, head on propped elbows. Tenzo blushed.
"Yes, I do. The nightmare I had was horrible." Tenzo said, obviously shaken.
"There was nothing more you could have done. You did everything humanly possible. Keira engaged the enemy to protect you as, based on your report and Kakashi's, you were clearly mismatched in chakra element affinities. She knew what the risks were, as did you. It's too late to second-guess one's actions." Tsunade said softly.
"I know," he replied. "But still…"
"Stop that this instant, Tenzo!" Tsunade's voice was raised out of frustration. "You are a goddamned shinobi of Konoha; a former elite ANBU. You know what was at stake. You know the risks. I know how much you love Keira but you cannot let that love for her blind you with guilt that you don't deserve. I won't allow it and neither would Keira." Tsunade then relaxed. Unfortunately, the words she spoke were based on her own experiences; words she'd wish she had heard so long ago…
The color in Tenzo's face turned a bright crimson red. He had not heard anyone else mention to him that they anything about how he felt about Keira. He was trying to keep his emotions hidden. He didn't think he was being especially obvious, but apparently not.
Does that mean Keira knows, too?
He knew that Tsunade was right – on all points. Keira wouldn't tolerate it. He knew her for so long he could predict what Keira's reaction would be. She'd be empathetic but would eventually come out and say what Tsunade just said.
Tenzo took a deep breath and his shoulders relaxed. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama. I needed that. You are right – on all of it. Even on what Keira would do. I would have had a lecture far worse from her after this one." Both of them laughed with fond memories. Yes, Keira was stubborn, opinionated yet used those traits because she deeply cared for everyone. She had no ill will towards anyone – unless they were an enemy of Konoha. Then, beware of her wrath. The thought made Tenzo smile.
"I should go. And, thank you again – for everything," said Tenzo.
"Don't worry. She's going to be fine. She's where she needs to be and she's in excellent hands," said Tsunade with a smile. With that, Tenzo closed the door behind him.
As Tenzo walked back to his apartment, he began to think back to the very recent past. Keira had been asked to be the Team Leader for Team 8 as Kurenai was pregnant. He remembered how proud he felt – and how excited she was. She was ready to leave ANBU; she wanted a different path than that of the rest of her family members. He remembered hearing the chatter among the Konoha 11 about Keira. She came with a strong, rather intimidating reputation and to hear the junior shinobi talk about her, made him smile. They really didn't know her. For as long as he knew her, personally and as a Konoha shinobi/ANBU operative, she was known as "The Wolf Princess." There were several reasons for this. First, her fighting style, strength and demeanor resembled the ferocity of the wolf. The second was her incredible strength, her chakra stamina, her immense ability to manipulate and to control chakra and her ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu repelling abilities. Tenzo was very aware that he had not seen everything in her arsenal – even after knowing her for so long. Her nature affinity, Fuuton (wind), is especially strong. She has two secondary elements: Suiton (water) and Katon (fire). She is considered one of the strongest fuuton users from both her clan and from Konoha. Her fuuton elemental jutsus have the strength and ferocity of the wolf making them especially powerful, destructive and deadly. Though her entire clan knows Sato secret and sacred jutsu, there are several that only Keira knows because of her position as the heiress of the clan per tradition. In fact, there were quiet discussions underway to have Keira become Naruto's Sensei to learn more Fuuton jutsu as he, also, is a Fuuton user.
The most important reason for her title of "The Wolf Princess" is Keira being the henchman for a pack of 8 wolves, her Summoning Jutsu. Per Sato tradition as the heiress, she had a pact with Akela, the lead (alpha male) wolf that has guarded the family for generations. Unique to the Sato clan, as a female, she was considered not just their henchman but the lead female – the mother – of the pack and as such she was fiercely protected from the enemy. The summoning provides a strong defense along with an aggressive and especially vicious offense, not just for her but for anyone she sent her wolves to protect, such as team members and other Konoha shinobi. It is similar to Kakashi's summoning but they weren't just messengers and trackers. However, tracking and scouting for a wolf is far more accurate and higher level and she uses those abilities in her scouting and tracking missions – especially in dangerous situations. Her vision, as with the wolf, is especially keen in battle and in the dark of night, which is advantageous in battle or in scouting. In general, this is one dangerous shinobi. She is never, ever to be under-estimated. Tenzo always found that contradiction – her caring, kind, loving nature and her formidable abilities as a shinobi – very attractive and fascinating.
Tenzo had stopped and was on the bridge of the river bank. He had been gazing at the river and "skipping" pebbles as his mind wandered. He soon sensed a presence close to him: Naruto. He dressed casually in a t-shirt adorned with the Shodai Hokage's necklace, knee-length shorts and thongs – he had changed from his normal jumpsuit. His hair was spiky and tussled, as it always was. His deep blue eyed gaze was intent yet was deeply concerned for his Taichou.
"Yamato-taichou. Is there any news?"
"Naruto!" Tenzo was pleasantly surprised and gave Naruto as warm a smile as possible – but it showed deep concern for the woman he loved.
"I just spoke with Tsunade," Tenzo replied. "She's improving and should be in a normal room within a few days. However…"
"However…what?" asked Naruto
"We may be back on a mission in a few days, according to Tsunade-sama," Tenzo stated flatly.
"What?!?" shrieked Naruto.
"Yes. Life goes on. I don't like it. In fact, I am rather pissed off about it. But we have to do our part. Kakashi-Senpai is already back out, as you know. Tsunade-sama is being very kind in allowing us a few days off like this." Tenzo said with his eyes cast at the river.
Naruto sighed. He didn't like the news but knew Tenzo was right. There was still work to be done. Kakashi had already left as he had assumed Keira's position with Team 8 until she was cleared for missions.
Naruto chuckled lightly while gazing at the river and skipping rocks with Tenzo, "I remember when Keira first took me to Ichiraku Ramen just after I met her. She was kind and so nice to me. She gave me some tips on fuuton jutsu among other things. She let me get seconds of ramen as she was concerned that I would still be hungry later." Tenzo grinned broadly.
Yes, that's Keira-chan. Definitely the caretaker.
"Even when I do or say something stupid, at least she doesn't hit me like Sakura does."
Tenzo laughed out loud; a deep belly laugh. It was something he needed at that moment. Naruto was laughing, too. He was actually enjoying spending time with Tenzo – and creating a bond in the process, other than the Kyuubi.
Silence befell them. Naruto, while looking down, then posed a dangerous question.
"You love her, don't you?"
Tenzo thought carefully before he spoke. "I've loved her ever since I met her so many years ago."
"I see," replied Naruto.
Tenzo smiled. He began by relating to Naruto how he first met Keira, what she looked like and what she was like when she was younger. Naruto began to pay close attention as he knew Tenzo was opening up his heart – something he didn't do normally. He told him of all the pranks he and her brothers played on her to ditch her – and how she'd get her revenge; she was quite a prankster herself. He talked about how they grew up together and how their friendship developed over a long period of time. He even talked about the taijutsu fight that she had against him to qualify for ANBU. This really got Naruto's attention.
"She beat you?!? Not YOU, Yamato-taichou! How? Why?"
Tenzo put his thumb and forefinger on his chin as he always did as a nervous habit or when thinking. "She won legitimately. She was absolutely brilliant and outsmarted me – and I was sore for several days after that." They laughed yet again.
"Her strategy abilities under duress are identical to yours. Although she thinks things through beforehand as in a plan, she is also known for her spontaneity in both her battle tactics and strategy. When she is in a situation that calls for spontaneity, she shifts her strategy and tactics in an instant. I often cannot keep up with her. Some of her jutsu choices appear to be unorthodox when you first look at them. It is when the battle is all over that you realize just how amazing the choices were. Your style is identical to hers; a mirror image. In fact, she said much the same about you to me," Tenzo smiled.
"She did?" asked Naruto.
"She did, indeed," replied Tenzo warmly.
An awkward silence came. Then, Naruto broke it:
"She's beautiful, not just on the outside, but on the inside. As beautiful as Sakura-chan is to me, Keira is on a different level. I can't explain it but it is different. I never thought I'd ever say that."
Tenzo's eyebrows raised, but Naruto continued, "She's kind, considerate and, well…wonderful. She also encourages others and never says "no" to someone who wants assistance or to another shinobi who wants advice – I just saw that the other day with Hinata, in fact. She truly cares…for everyone…"
Naruto's face was a deep crimson. He felt shame and embarrassment as he felt that he had taken the subject too far. He thought that he was going to be trapped in Yamato-taichou's Mokuton: Shichūrō no Jutsu (wooden prison) for life. It became clear to Tenzo: Naruto has a crush on Keira-chan!
Tenzo took a deep breath and paused before replying, "Heh. It's interesting that you mention Sakura and Keira. They are definitely on different levels like you say. She's all of those things you mentioned and more. I've seen her in many more situations than you have as I have known her for much longer. However, I also know some of her character flaws, but even those are endearing to me. For instance, she can be as stubborn as a mule at times – try beating her at an argument." Both laughed.
"We aren't ones to argue all that often, but when we do…" he shook his head and then sighed. "Her brothers often give in because she is so persistent." Both laughed harder.
Tenzo continued, "Then there's her humor. She's one of those that is quick-witted and has perfect timing. She has the comments that can steal the center of attention away from anyone. I'm sure you've noticed it. I've felt for anyone who has been on the receiving end."
"You mean, like you, Yamato-taichou?" Naruto asked. The laughter was far more prolonged. Tenzo kept thinking how good it felt to laugh, especially when there was so little to laugh about.
"Yes, I'll admit it. Just like me. Sometimes, she strikes at something that cuts a nerve which can make me annoyed or angry, but when I see a particular look on her face, I can't stay upset for long. She shocks the hell out of Kakashi-Senpai all the time." Both laugh yet again. It isn't often that Kakashi shows any lack of detachment – on anything.
The thought made Tenzo smile as he faced Naruto. "Naruto, I can tell. You are very fond of Keira. It is hard not to be. It doesn't bother me a bit. In fact, it reassures me. I know that when I am not around or I can't do so, you will make sure she is safe." Naruto was grateful for his taichou's understanding – man to man. He was right – on everything.
Later that day, Tenzo, after doing chores, checking his weapons and shinobi supplies, ate dinner quietly at home and drank the first flask of the sedative that Tsunade had given to him. He spent the remainder of the evening catching up on his reading of architecture books that he had purchased prior to the mission. He is deeply into the different styles of architecture throughout the various countries and is incredibly knowledgeable in the areas of construction and design.
As Tenzo read, his mind would occasionally drift off and wonder how Keira would feel about this style of building or the fascia design on another. After a while, his eyes drifted to the window with a view of the Hokage's offices and residence in the background. The lights were hypnotic. He began to imagine what life would be like with Keira with him all the time. How would things change? Would she still be the same person or would she change? Would they get along under the same roof or, would they drive each other crazy? He began to think about how he'd feel upon returning to a mission and know that she would, if she was not assigned, be at home upon his arrival. It wasn't often he'd allow himself to think such thoughts. He never wanted to overstep things. Now it was different: he wasn't going to allow this chance escape him…
He heard a voice nearby calling to him,
"Tenzo? I prepared dessert earlier. Would you like some or are you still full from dinner?"
It was Keira's voice.
Tenzo turned his head away from the window and towards the kitchen/dining area and saw Keira standing at the doorway. Her long auburn hair was hanging down her back and the sides were swept up and held by decorative combs and pins. Her dress was very casual; an outfit he had seen her in many times but for some reason, she looked especially beautiful to him. She then shifted her weight to her left hip and placed her left hand on it. She had a loving but teasing look to her face but that wasn't where his eyes were gazing at closely – it was her left hand.
There was a gold band on the third finger of the left hand. Tenzo's heart leapt and began to beat faster. Without thinking, he glanced down at his left hand: there was a gold band on the third finger of his left hand as well: they were married!
"Are you ok, Darling?" Keira asked with a look of concern on her face and in the tone of her voice.
"Uh, yes, I'm fine. My mind was just focused elsewhere…" his voice drifted off when the realization hit him that she had just called him "Darling." None of this was making sense but, he loved hearing her say it and how it made him feel.
"You sure?" Keira asked again while walking towards him. He was lying on the sofa while he was reading. She stopped just next to him and was looking carefully at his face.
"Yes, Keira-chan. I'm just fine. Don't worry, ok?" Tenzo smiled.
As Tenzo smiled she bent down and pressed her lips to his forehead. The feeling of her lips touching his forehead sent electricity through his entire body and warmed his heart. When she raised her head she had a look he had never seen before – love. Her eyes were especially beautiful to him and he got lost in them while gazing at her. His heart was now on fire – a feeling he had tried so hard to suppress for so very long – most of the time, unsuccessfully.
He said to her, knowing he was taking a chance, "I love you. I don't want you to worry so much. As long as you are with me, I'm fine."
Tenzo smiled warmly but inside his heart was now a raging inferno and the butterflies in his stomach had turned into a colony. Other parts of his body had now responded. He wanted her so very badly now. This was a feeling he had tried so hard to deny but now, he didn't. He was letting things happen. He let his feelings run wild and it felt exhilarating. The temptation to pull her to the sofa on top of him was overwhelming. Keira had reached out and put her hand to his face in warmth and affection but was gazing deep into his eyes in return in a way he had always dreamed: joy, love, passion and desire. She knelt down beside him on the sofa. It made him wonder if she was seeing through everything, but he didn't care. He wanted her – only her – at that moment. He loved her, adored her, wanted her and needed her and those feelings were now out in the open.
Keira then took the book he was reading, closed it, and put it off to the side and scooted closer to the sofa. Her hands were warm, soft, loving yet urgent as they ran across his chest, his mid-section. She'd alter that with her fingers; urging him, taunting him, enticing him, driving him further into passion that he couldn't control. Her eyes were now fierce with passion and desire which made his body react more. His mind had stopped trying to analyze the situation – he let his inhibitions go free. His hands reached for her starting at her arms then her face but…his instincts told him to move them elsewhere.
Tenzo's hands ran through her hair; tenderly at first but then urgently as he would grab handfuls and would bring them to his face so he could smell the fragrance – her fragrance. Tenzo groaned with pleasure and Keira responded by closing her eyes to merely feel and enjoy the attention. His senses were on overload but he wanted more, much more. Then his hands moved down her arms to the hands and he kissed every single finger on each hand – focusing on the wedding ring that was on her finger. He moved his hands to her hips and then up her sides and would move in towards her navel. Her eyes would flutter open then close as each new sensation would hit her. His hands were now on the front of her midsection and urgently moved them up and felt the roundness of her breasts – an act that made both of them moan in pleasure and both bodies react accordingly. His hands lingered on the fullness, the roundness and on the nipples that were now beginning to protrude through her shirt. With that last act, Keira took her hands and moved them lower on his groin. For Tenzo, it was too much for him to bear. Next thing she knew, he had grabbed her hips again and was bringing her to where she lay on top of his body. She responded by laying on top of him and then…arms were wrapped around each other, hands moving across each other's bodies, lips apart and locked in passionate deep kisses, bodies adjusting so that each could feel the heat, passion that their bodies were experiencing.
At one point, Keira had to pull her head away so she could breathe. For some reason, she had a tickling sensation in her throat and coughed a few times. Tenzo, lovingly massaged her back but…felt her begin to shake uncontrollably. He looked at her and saw terror and horror in her eyes.
"Sweetheart, what's the matter?" Tenzo asked breathily as he was still aroused with passion.
Keira began to cry uncontrollably and said, "Tenzo, look. Your shirt…I don't know what happened. I'm so scared."
Tenzo looked – it was blood and a great deal of it. It the same splatter pattern as it was the day that Keira was severely injured and he held her close. His body tensed but then relaxed and he tried to consol Keira. It didn't work. She continued to cough with greater frequency and a greater amount of blood kept coming with each cough. He was now transfixed on the blood coming from her. His mind began to panic; he didn't know what to do to help her. He was absolutely helpless. Tenzo couldn't help the woman he loved as she was bleeding internally – from what he didn't know. During this time, he had brought both of them off of the sofa. He was holding her as she was gasping and coughing blood. More blood; and more; and more still with each coughing spasm.
Damn it! Just stop. Please! Just stop.
Keira couldn't say anything and, eventually, her body went limp. As it did so, Tenzo noticed: blood running from her mouth at both sides…
Tenzo screamed at the top of his lungs in terror…only to awaken in his apartment with his architecture book folded over his chest. It was still dark outside and he was still in his living room where he was when he had fallen asleep from the medication he had taken earlier. His head pounded and his body was still in a heightened state of both pleasure and panic. He looked around his apartment and found no evidence that Keira either was inside at that moment nor had she been. He looked at his left hand – bare, nothing. The realization that this was a dream both reassured him because of the blood and yet caused him to feel strong discomfort at her absence.
I swear, she was just here! Keira was here, goddammit! I was holding her, loving her…where is she?!?
The emotions Tenzo felt while dreaming and the letdown he felt after awakening, combined, gave him a feeling of thankfulness and gratitude for her recovery; guilt at feeling helpless to stop her injuries, emptiness, anguish and loneliness for her absence. Finally, the emotions couldn't be controlled and he began to weep openly. His weeping became deep sobs of anger, guilt, grief, loss and yet deep love. None of what he had dreamt was real – none of it. The blood and injury was an illusion. Keira's presence in the apartment, the way she looked, acted, smelled, how she had looked at him, kissed him, held him, needed him – all an illusion.
The wedding ring, perhaps the most powerful symbol in the dream, was merely a fantasy. That was the one thing Tenzo couldn't shake; the one thing Tenzo couldn't forget: the ring. Keira had belonged to him and Tenzo belonged to her. Keira had become his: his wife, his lover, his best friend and confidante, his reason for getting up in the morning, his reason for performing missions: the one person he wanted to protect, to love and to cherish the most, his reason for living. The symbol of love, of faith, of honor, of trust, of fidelity and of eternity – it was never anywhere to be found nor on his finger. Now, after fighting himself for as long as he could remember, he allowed himself to acknowledge those feelings, those desires and dreams he truly wanted so badly. The very things he would fight, kill and die to protect as both a man and as a Konoha shinobi. He allowed himself to acknowledge that being a Konoha shinobi/ANBU was no longer his dream; he had attained those goals – Keira was his lifelong dream, and always had been. Tenzo realized that he wanted it all – the dream, the symbolism and the ring, the promises, the love, faith, hope, passion and the partnership. He wanted all of it; all of her. No more denial. No more lies. The line in the sand had been drawn – things were going to change and it wasn't because he was planning on telling her. It was because he now admitted to himself what had been happening and what he truly wanted.
The morning came and the feelings Tenzo felt in his dream, guilt aside, were now alive within him. Instead of awakening to merely another day, the day took on new meaning. Tenzo's focus was clearer than it ever had been. He also felt everything he had felt the night before: gratitude, love, heartbreak, loss and the realization of what was most important, the most precious to him. The guilt he knew would fade with time and he was able put that aside. He knew that nothing more could have been done than was done. The one most precious to Tenzo, Keira, lay in Konoha Hospital injured but recovering from wounds he had witnessed. She wasn't merely just precious to him. Tenzo loved her, adored her, needed her, and wanted her in every aspect of his life – every single aspect. He wanted her to know that he thought of her, worried about her, cried over her, desired her, and dreamed about her. He wanted her to know that he would fight for, kill for and even die for her and her happiness and security. Soon, very soon, she would know…
There was knocking at the door and Tenzo went to answer it. It was a messenger from Tsunade's office. He was being summoned to lead the next mission for Team 7 and he was to report to her office within the hour. As his mind re-engaged to the cold, harsh reality of leading a mission, his heart was overflowing with emotions he had not allowed himself to feel for fear of losing what he had with Keira. There was no longer any fear. He quickly showered, shaved, dressed, armed himself and packed gear as he normally would. Within the hour, he was standing before Tsunade and his fellow team members: Naruto, Sai and Sakura, who had all been summoned as he had been. Team 7 was heading out on an A-rank mission that would take them out of Konoha and the Fire Country for at least several days, which bothered Tenzo greatly. However, he knew that Keira would be waiting for him upon his return and he took comfort in that.
To Tenzo's surprise, Tsunade said, "Yamato, before you go, you can see Keira. She will be in a normal room and will have substantially recovered by the time you return. I figured that this would be a good chance for you to see her alone. She is now occasionally conscious but fades due to her body processing the anesthesia she was under. I'll allow you ten minutes."
Tsunade smiled with understanding. The other members of Team 7 gasped and grinned in relief and in happiness for both Keira's health and for their taichou, who had been suffering emotionally.
"Thank you, Tsunade-sama, for being so understanding," said Tenzo. "I truly am grateful."
"I know you are, Yamato," said Tsunade. "She won't quite be ready to be released by the time you get back but I thought that this would help, even just a bit." Tsunade smiled warmly.
Tenzo told the rest of the team to be at the main gate in 30 minutes and that he'd join them then. He made his way to Konoha Hospital with Tsunade as an escort. The ANBU guard was still present but nodded acknowledgment of both his Hokage and Tenzo, a former fellow ANBU. Tenzo knew the ANBU operative and nodded in return. Upon entry to Keira's room, Tsunade and Tenzo saw she was alone and the other ANBU guard was outside her window – the shadows cast inside the room indicated that. Tsunade immediately took her chart and inspected it carefully. She then looked over her IVs to make sure the dosages were correct and that there was a sufficient supply on the hanger. She performed a brief examination and found that she was doing very well. Tenzo stood by patiently as Tsunade did her work. Before he knew it, she looked at him and smiled.
"Keira is recovering at a remarkable rate and I am very pleased with her progress," said Tsunade as Tenzo smiled with obvious relief and pleasure. "I will be outside and will come and get you after ten minutes. You will be alone with her and no one will disturb you. Don't be surprised if she awakens – she should be doing so."
"Thank you, Tsunade-sama," Tenzo said with a smile. With that, Tsunade left the room. Tenzo and Keira, lying in her bed, semi-conscious, were now in the room alone.
Tenzo came closer to her bed and sat in the chair next to it, located nearest her upper body. There were no signs of needles anywhere except in her wrist that had the IV. Keira's color had returned and merely looked like she was sleeping deeply. Her long auburn hair hung long behind her back with the sides now fanned over her shoulders so it appeared to "hang" on her chest on both sides. Without a second thought, Tenzo reached out and took a small portion of her hair that was within reach of his hand. He massaged the hair in-between his fingers gently and, as he did so, he stood up and over her and tenderly kissed her forehead, her cheeks and her lips and whispered, "I love you" when he was close to her ear. He had just sat down when he heard her say, "Hmmmm?" as if she were awakened. Her eyes fluttered briefly and closed again while she struggled to awaken. Tenzo's heart pounded faster and his breath was anxious both out of joy and out of nervousness.
After a bit of a struggle, Keira's eyes fluttered open. She stared at the ceiling and opened her mouth as it had become dry and took a deep breath. Tenzo's hand still had her hair as it did before and he didn't let go. Keira's head turned in his direction and she was staring straight into his eyes. Then, she smiled which made her eyes light up in the way that Tenzo adored. He was absolutely thrilled and his face lit up as she smiled at him.
"I've missed you," Keira spoke softly to an obviously overjoyed Tenzo. "I'm very happy you are here."
Tears filled Tenzo's eyes as she spoke. "Keira, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't do more to keep you from being here…" At first, he didn't want to acknowledge his emotions to her but then remembered what he had dreamt the night before and the promises he made to himself. The tears then fell down his cheeks.
"It is going to be fine, Tenzo. You did everything you could. Don't worry about that any more," she said with a gaze that was deeply concerned and expressed total understanding of his pain. She closed her eyes briefly then said, "Please don't let go of me, Tenzo," Keira spoke softly. Tenzo looked at Keira through his tears and squeezed her hand.
"I-I love you, Keira," stammered Tenzo with obvious emotion. He couldn't manage anything else at that moment. Keira's expression didn't change but her gaze did – it had a look that he had never seen before. Was this what he had been waiting for?
Tenzo took a deep breath and continued: "I've missed you, too, Keira-chan. More than I can ever tell you. I want you to rest and get healthy. It is just that I couldn't go on this next mission without telling you how much I love you. This last mission made me realize…" the tears were coming down so fast he had to put his head down.
"I love you, too, Tenzo," said Keira softly. "I've waited for so long to hear you say that to me." She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and then continued, "It's horrible that it took something like this…" Keira noted the obvious emotion Tenzo had at that moment. He continued to hold her hand tightly, kissed it gently several times and caressed his tear streaked face with it.
"It took more than merely you being here," Tenzo said. "It took me having to acknowledge the feelings that I had kept locked away for so long. I was afraid of telling you how I felt and thought I'd lose you if I did. But, no longer; the fear is gone. You are going to hear and to know everything. If any good came from you being here, I was forced to face myself, my emotions and to determine those things that were truly precious to me."
"What is most precious to you?" Keira asked in a hoarse whisper. Her gaze was even softer and gentler than before – something that Tenzo, and his heart, did not miss.
Tenzo looked deeply into Keira's eyes and said, "You, Keira-chan. You are the one that is most precious to me. You are the reason I am heading out on this next mission. You are the reason I will fight, kill and even die on this mission, if I must. You are the one thing that I will fight, kill and die to protect. I love you that much, Keira. I hope you believe me."
Keira was starting to feel drowsy but said to Tenzo, "I have no reason to doubt you – ever." Then a long pause as she fought off drowsiness but then she said, "I love you. Know that I will be here when you get back. Go and be safe…"
She could no longer hold her eyes open, but before her eyes closed completely, Tenzo leaned over her and kissed her lips gently. He found that she responded willingly though sleepily. When the kiss was done and he pulled back, she was sleeping. Tsunade then entered the room indicating his time had ended. He reluctantly released her hand and placed it at her side. He continued to gaze lovingly at her sleeping face, caressed it and stepped back signaling to Tsunade that he was ready to meet his team at the main gate.
As he made his way out of the hospital and towards the main gate, Tenzo ran through everything in his mind. He told Keira what he needed to: he loved her and always has, that he was sorry for her being injured, how important she was to him. Tenzo slowly realized that he now had what he had wanted: Keira. She was now his and he now hers. He had that one person he wanted to come home to. And, all it took was setting aside the fear, the pride and the ego. Why hadn't he done it sooner?
Once Tenzo made the final weapons checks and instructions to the team, he ordered them to head out on their mission. All three of his junior teammates noted that their taichou was different – somehow. They would have several days to figure out how…