Fifth Movement: Adagio
The nuances of Natalia's nighttime routine amused Olivia to no end. She could be up and ready for the day faster than Olivia could hit the snooze button, and yet it took her damn near a decade's time to get ready for bed. Everything in the house needed to be neat and tidy; the next day's plans needed to be outlined in her head and on paper; Emma needed her clothes laid out, a lunch in the fridge, and a bedtime story told prior to being tucked in and kissed goodnight; and of course, multiple prayers needed to be recited.
Olivia was usually asleep by the time Natalia got around to praying, but tonight she decided to wait up for her, curious to know exactly how long it took the woman to get into bed and fall asleep. Fluffing out her pillow, Olivia laid on her side with her head propped up and watched Natalia as she got into bed and then lowered her eyes to speak the secret though familiarly inaudible tones and whispers to God. No matter how exhausting or stressed Natalia's day might have been, the stillness that came over her whenever she prayed was enough to send Olivia into a love-induced coma. She lacked the ability to believe in anything even half as fiercely as Natalia, but she still found comfort in Natalia's faith. Just being in the presence of such a quiet, inexplicable strength was soothing.
"Finally," Olivia joked once she saw Natalia mouth the word "Amen."
Natalia lifted her lashes to glare at Olivia from the corner of her eye, but otherwise did not move from her stoic position of prayer. Closing her eyes again and kissing her fingertips, Natalia meditated silently for a moment longer before taking a breath, opening her eyes, and scoffing at Olivia again for good measure.
"You can be so disrespectful sometimes," she said, reaching over to the lamp beside the bed and flipping the switch.
"Oh come on. I wasn't being disrespectful. I was being…" she thought aloud, looking up at the moonlit ceiling as she searched for the appropriate word for once.
"Sarcastic?" Natalia filled in the blanks for her as she lay down in bed and snuggled up against the soft blankets and pillows around her. She had to admit; she wasn't sure how she'd lived prior to falling asleep enwrapped in Olivia's luxurious 300-thread count linens. Then again, she couldn't imagine going to sleep without having Olivia beside her either.
"Yeah," Olivia agreed cheerfully.
"Same thing," Natalia remarked, sitting up again to fix her pillow and then settling back down and looking back at Olivia.
"Well I can't help that Rome was built faster than you come to bed," she teased.
"Was that supposed to be some kind of an apology?" Natalia laughed. "Because that didn't even make sense, Olivia," she pointed out, shifting closer to her in bed and looking back at the glistening eyes that she knew shone for her and her alone. Smiling at the thought, Natalia pushed her fingers into Olivia's hair and gently scratched the back of her neck. "I swear, I don't think I will ever understand how that squirrelly brain of yours works."
"Well, that makes two of us then," Olivia admitted, smiling.
Nudging her nose with her own, Natalia leaned in and kissed Olivia, breathing in deeply as she held her close. When they parted, she slid her calf around Olivia's and pulled her even closer until they were fused at the hip. She knew it was impossible, but if she could have it her way, she would never leave Olivia's side. Laying her head down onto Olivia's chest, Natalia relaxed against the gentle hand that reached around her back. Renewed swarms of butterflies flittered against her nerves as she reveled in the fact that they were once again alone together in their bed, in their home. She was so overjoyed to have finally reached this point of familiarity and comfort with Olivia that a tear escaped her eyes and slowly streamed down her face until it met with Olivia's chest.
"Natalia, are you crying?" She asked, backing away from Natalia and answering her own question as she wiped tears away from the woman's eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, nothing," Natalia deflected, laughing sheepishly as she grasped Olivia's shoulder so that she wouldn't move too far away from her.
"Natalia, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to be disrespect–"
"I know, Olivia," Natalia interrupted, kissing her again briefly. "You were just getting impatient waiting for me…as usual," she laughed, rolling her eyes. As usual, she thought, smiling at what that meant and how happy it made her to say it. Looking at Olivia, she caught a hint in her eyes that distinctly told her that those words had the same effect on her. She was barely able to fathom the idea that she loved someone so completely that even the most annoying flaws were traits that she adored about Olivia. "You know it's your fault that I take so long to get ready," Natalia teased, brushing away her emotions with the back of her hand.
"Oh, I doubt that," Olivia mocked, settling back down into bed.
"It is," Natalia argued. "If you were even a teensy bit more organized I might be able to get to bed at a decent hour, but you misplace everything, you're completely helpless at folding laundry, you strangely enough can't seem to find anything in the kitchen even though I know you know how to cook," she teased as she rolled on top of Olivia and hovered above her, "and if it weren't for me, you'd forget half of your appointments," she bragged, snickering at Olivia's aghast expression as though she'd never been told any of this before. "But you know what else?" She asked, leaning in.
Through veiled eyes, Olivia waited a moment for Natalia to continue. "There's more?" She asked while trying to quiet her heart's staccato beat.
"That's also why I love you," Natalia grinned, lowering her lips to Olivia's and kissing her.
"Yeah?" Olivia asked, her velveteen voice buzzing in Natalia's ear.
"Yeah," she confirmed, kissing her again and then petting Olivia's cheek tenderly with her own. "I love…" she paused to think, "taking care of you; taking care of Emma…and Rafe, whenever he lets me," she snickered along with Olivia before laying down beside her again. Pausing again to smile brightly at a passing thought, Natalia kissed Olivia's cheek and pulled her into a full body embrace. "I have everything I've ever dreamed of…with you. And I am so grateful for that, Olivia. I hope you know that."
"I do," she breathed, "I'm grateful too. I live for your happiness, Natalia," she confessed, running her fingers through Natalia's hair and then smoothing her hand down her arm.
Their eyes met and spoke volumes under the weightless and harmonic peace of the bedroom. A moment later, their hands met under the blankets and laced together, provoking renewed smiles from both women. "Goodnight, Olivia," Natalia said kissing her once more before turning over in bed and taking Olivia's hand with her to drape over her stomach.
For a mother especially, Natalia slept harder than anyone Olivia had ever known and more often than not, she was down for the count the second her head hit the pillow. Nestling up behind her, Olivia kissed Natalia's shoulder and whispered a gentle "I love you" before closing her eyes and waiting for sleep to succumb her. Walking precariously along that thin line between sleep and consciousness, Natalia managed to mumble a returned "I love you" back to Olivia every night. And Natalia never knew it, but as her breathing slowed and her body sank deeper into the mattress, Olivia always kissed her once more on the shoulder before drifting into the most restful sleep she'd ever known. They always readied Emma for school in the same way, took the same route to work every morning, and planned their family dinner on the drive home, but it was this routine – the one so familiar that they could do it in their sleep – that Olivia cherished most of all.