Disclaimer: Don't own the Fast and the Furious. Sorry.
A/N: I listened to the song "Fancy" by The Dream on repeat for four hours. Listen to the song. Pay attention to the music and the way his voice sounds. The lyrics aren't important. I think its the other elements that set the tone for Dom's frame of mind. Thank you for continuing to read this. And special shot out to tfatfreak207, LiasonFan2, and Catalinay for reviewing. P.S. Catalinay, Letty explains why she came for her visit in this chapter.
Chapter 8: Implosion
Huff.
Sigh.
Huff.
Huff.
I was waiting for Joi to blow the shed down. She'd spent the first two hours in the garage behind the house with me reading her fashion magazines, picking out clothes she thought were "humph" or "hmmm" or "yah". When she started I thought the noises, while less frequent than her page turning, were subtle enough to fade into the background. And so I worked. But now she was starting to get distractingly audible.
I picked up a wrench, loosening a lug nut, preparing to replace all of the nuts holding the wheels in place to ones I'd had custom engraved with "TT" on the tops. It was frivolous to want my father's initials on these things that few people would see and even less would understand but I had decided not to spare any expense where my father's legacy was concerned.
Joi gave another loud, overly dramatic sigh and I put down the wrench with great care. I was trying to decide whether I was going to acknowledge her interruption or continue on as I had for the last ninety minutes: pretending that she wasn't slowly getting on my nerves. I turned to look at her and she met my gaze from her perch on the stool. I guess I could cut her some slack since she'd sat there for three and a half hours.
"So how much longer are you going to work on this car today?" she asked, alternately extending and bending her legs in front of her. I forced myself not to succumb to the irritation I felt. This is why I worked alone, my patience easily tested when I wanted to focus solely on the restoration. I'd told her that I would be here until I finished adding the final touches to the rebuilt charger. She'd agreed to wait.
I took a deep breath, "I'm just replacing the nuts," I said slowly, waving one in front of my face, "for the tires," I pointed to the tire I was working on, "then I'll be finished," I ended, twirling my fingers around in a "wrap it up" signal.
Instead of being angry that I was being condescending, Joi smirked, "Good. Then we'll still have time to run past my place before races tonight." I made eye contact, catching the innuendo. She wanted to have sex before we went out. Perfect. Then maybe I could come home and sleep in my own bed for a change without her throwing a fit. I never let her sleep at my house. Hell, we never had sex here for that matter. I had reverted to my high school behavior: always at her house, never at mine. At least it gave me a built in explanation for the team to cover my absences at night. They still didn't know I was transporting trucks for Johnny Tran.
Frankly I don't know how we lasted this long. It was April and we'd been dating for six months. I knew because Joi baked a cake last week to celebrate our anniversary. She pitched a fit when I didn't have a gift for her. It turns out that Joi was the most girlish woman I'd ever dated. She wanted to be the center of my universe, pitching a fit when she sensed that she wasn't. Thankfully her fits were bouts of pouting, withholding sex, huffing, and the crowd favorite; a case of the waterworks. We constantly spent time together, mostly because she would fall into one of her fits if we didn't. We had differing opinions on "enough" time too. After being confined in Lompoc I craved having personal space. Joi unfortunately felt that any moment we weren't together, and she thought we should be together all the time, was time wasted. I'd given up hope on compromising. It was easier sometimes to give in. For instance, Joi's last bout of crying had bought her space on that stool while I worked on the charger.
I moved to replace the first tire. Joi exhaled, the whine creeping into her voice, "but baybee," I mentally cringed, "how long is that gunna take?"
"A half hour at most." I wanted to take my time so I wouldn't strip or scratch the nuts unnecessarily. They were custom and Harry had gotten me a sweet deal on them. Joi opened her mouth then snapped it closed again when I raised an eyebrow. She must have realized that her talking was delaying the process and though the better of annoying me. I turned back to my project.
"Dawg tell me that ain't what I think it is," Leon shouted in glee as Joi and I exited the charger later that night. I had to smile. I was extremely proud of my work on the charger and his comment was a stroke to my ego.
"Yeah Dom, I didn't think you were gonna race her," Jesse piped up, his voice edged with hurt.
"I ain't racing her Jes," I reassured him, catching him in a loose head lock. If I had decided to race the charger full time, I would have let Jesse have free reign to upgrade the engine and electrical system to accommodate the demands of a ten second car. But I never planned to race this car. The fact that this was my father's first coffin put the fear of God in me.
"Yep he's just showing off," Mia smirked. I raised my eyebrow causing Mia to grin wider. She was starting to become quite the wise ass.
"Just following in your footsteps," I shot back, jerking my head towards her baby blue Acura. It was, as promised, all show and no go. Mia stuck her tongue out at me. I released Jesse and Hector strolled up. The crowd had made a steady progression past me and the team but I only have them a cursory glance. I was starting to let that all fade into the background at races, the notoriety easier to manage that way.
"Daryl wants in if you're racing tonight," Hector told me casually as we bumped fists in greeting. Daryl was a decent racer who had steadily begun to win his races in the last three months. He'd even beaten Ricky Tran by a nose two weeks ago, boosting his standing in this community. I shook my head no, before trying to goad Hector into taking a look under the hood. We chatted for a few moments about the past and the races he saw my Dad win in the car then he went to organize the main event for the night. I continued to bask in the glow of the praise I was getting on the rebuild when Joi came to stand beside me, her arm curling around my forearm possessively.
"I'm gonna race the rookie," Vince growled out to the team at large. I hadn't noticed his approach but apparently Joi had. Vince had his arm around Letty's shoulders, hinting that he had dragged her over to make nice with the team. Since Christmas Letty had started to slowly filter back into our lives, well mostly with everyone else. I felt she barely tolerated me sometimes but that was better than the stony silence she'd maintained for three months. At least we could stand to be in the same vicinity with each other and exchange pleasantries.
The rest of the team greeted Letty, Jesse excitedly pulling her over to inspect the charger. For a moment I couldn't help myself. I watched her make a slow circuit from bumper to bumper, sometimes trailing her fingers over the paint lovingly. I knew she was thinking of my Dad, remembering how he used the charger as a teaching tool all those years ago. Letty paused then stooped down to examine something on the far side of the car, causing my heart to skip a beat. Did I scratch the paint on my way over here? Did I forget some minute detail? But she stood after a moment, her feelings shrouded under an expression of nonchalance.
"Alright let's ride. We got ourselves a race!" Hector called out to cheers from the crowd. We all split into our respective cars, meeting again at the line. I don't recall the details of the race. I searched the crowd, looking for Letty to ask her what she'd seen but she was gone. By the time I realized it Joi was tugging on my arm complaining that she was ready to go home, Vince the victor of the race. Better luck next time rookie. I made my excuses to Joi, our pre-race sex making her willing to accept my desire to sleep in my bed alone. I happily made my way back to my house, noticing that everyone was still out. I took care to park the charger carefully in the garage then let my curiosity get the better of me. Stooping down to the approximate spot that Letty had been in earlier I started to scan the car for any blemishes I may have missed.
"Huh."
"Find what you're looking for?" My head snapped up immediately at Letty's question. I hadn't heard her approach the garage. She was leaning against the wall, one leg propped up to rest behind her, head tilted, arms crossed. Her posture told me she'd been standing there for a few minutes. The gesture was comfortable for her, so typical Letty, that I felt my heart start to ache. I thought I had put this past me. I'd moved on to Joi and yet…
"Depends. What did you see earlier?" This was easy. We could talk about the car. I wanted to ask her why she'd decided to show up in the garage at all. It was odd considering it was one in the morning and we were no longer together. There was no party here tonight so there was no readymade excuse for her to be in my garage. I felt that line of questioning would make this situation more difficult so I refrained.
Her answer was laced with sadness, "Tony Toretto." I should have known Letty would see; that she would understand. I stood, allowing us each a few seconds to reminisce about my Dad. He was our teacher long before shop class and driver's ed. I didn't want to get into a melancholy mood though so I changed the subject.
"Did Jesse convince you to upgrade your nitrous injection system yet?" Letty gave me a lopsided grin which made my stomach lurch. I worked to suppress the feeling. "Guess the kid couldn't help himself."
"Apparently he's not the only one," Letty mused, her eyes sweeping over the fashion magazine lying haphazardly on the stool. I let my eyes roll heavenward thinking about my frustration with Joi earlier. That wasn't something I wanted to bring up either so I struggled for something to say.
"Mia's having an end of semester thing week after next," I stated badly.
"Can we sit in the car? I wanna ask you something." I was taken back by the request. It was odd but then I remembered that my father had taken Letty for her driving test in this car. Letty had been so proud that he'd let her drive it all the way back to school. She was such a dedicated shop student that she went to make up her missed lesson. Coincidentally that was the day I invited her to the races. I let myself ghost a smile from the memory, motioning for her to get into the drivers seat. We could do better than to sit in the car all night.
"Let's see if you can still handle her," I teased, sliding the key into the ignition and cranking the engine. Letty took her time, adjusting mirrors and the seat just the way she'd been taught and then she raised her eyebrow at me.
"Seat belt." I complied and we were off. We were silent for about ten minutes before she spoke again, "I'm leaving."
I felt my mouth slide open, "That's not a question."
"And you only got a 'C' in English?" she quipped.
"Jerk." She laughed at my surly tone. We rode in silence for a few more minutes and then she pulled up to the beach. We sat in the car with the lights off watching the waves crash against the sand for some time before she spoke again.
"I need you to do something for me."
"Still not a question."
She grinned again then turned to face me in her seat, "Don't be obtuse when my parents ask about me."
"And why would they ask me about you?"
"They don't know that I'm leaving."
"So you're sneaking off?" She nodded. "Are you knocked up?" I spat out indignantly, my throat closing up. I couldn't fathom why she would feel she had to sneak away from her family. She didn't sneak away to take up residence at Casa Toretto so why all the secrecy now? My face was heating up. It better not be Sam's baby.
Letty's eyes narrowed, "Are you high?"
"Are you?" It was the only reason I could think she would run away. Then again, she wouldn't tell me something that off the wall. We may not be together but she knew how I felt about her, she had to know.
"No. What is your problem?" She was asking a lot of questions now, her temper starting to rise. Oddly enough I felt myself getting aroused.
"It's not like you to skulk away Letty."
"It's not like you to…" she started then broke off, taking a deep breath.
"Letty, I never meant to hurt you," I said quietly, changing tact with her when I realized that we couldn't avoid what had torn us apart. Letty got out of the car and started pacing, her strides taking her from the hood to the trunk and back again. I got out stopping her at the trunk on her tenth revolution, placing my hands lightly around her shoulders. She stiffened. I sighed into her hair, "Letty…"
"I forgave you at Christmas you know. That's why I came back. I forgave you then," Letty rushed out, "and yet I am still so angry. I need space to be my own person. Right now, you're part of all the fabric of my life in LA."
"Letty…"
"Dom, you can't say that you aren't. You're King Dom of the LA race scene. I'm just Dom's ex."
"But why me? Why would your parents ask me?"
"Because they know I still have strong feelings for you." The answer took me by surprise.
"Letty you don't have to leave," her words were starting to sink in. She wanted to leave. I could feel my heart slowly crashing. I thought it hurt when she left me to move back in down the street. I could bear it while I knew that she was still revolving in my life. But what she was talking about was much farther away, was much more complete.
"Yeah I do."
"I don't want you to leave."
"Trust me in a few weeks you won't even remember I exist."
"That's crap and you know it," I said, my voice getting rougher. I gripped her arms tighter and stared into her eyes. Joi would have turned to water works but not Letty. She gave as well as she got. Instead of holding me arrested with her hands like I had her now, she stunned me with her words.
"So you crawling up Joi's skirt is a figment of my imagination?"
"I haven't forgotten you Letty. I'm still waiting for you."
"And you show that by screwing someone else."
"Letty you're the one who walked out. I fought for you to come back."
"You didn't do anything to get me back."
"What are you talking about!" I shot out. Vince's pounding stuck out vividly in my mind.
"Here it is, nine months later and you haven't changed anything. You're still running trucks for Tran."
"You know why."
"And you know why I left, why I'm still gone."
"Don't force my hand Letty," I ground out, my temper dangerously close to flaring out of control. But her temper was at flash point too. Her next words confirmed it for me.
"Hell, this is why I need to leave LA. You can screw around yet I'm supposed to be under your control. What I want doesn't matter."
"That's not true." What she wanted mattered. I just couldn't make that fit into what I needed to do right now.
"Tell me something…"
"What, you're going to ask your question now?"
"You really miss me or you just can't handle me moving on?"
"I can come to grips with you moving," I said recklessly. She gave me an evil grin. I don't know why but I got more aroused.
"So you won't mind if I stay in LA and find a guy to fu…" I shook her. She looked stunned for a second and I let her go. "I guess you can't handle me moving on after all."
"Why are you torturing me?"
"I'm not."
"Then what do you want?"
"I wanted to know if you still love me," she said harshly. I stared at her. Her voice softened and took on a feminine quality I rarely heard from her, "Do you? Do you still love me Dom?"
I could tell by the quality of her voice that this is what she wanted to ask me the whole time. I knew instantly what my answer was but I couldn't tell her anymore. I'd mentioned how I felt several times during this argument. Mentally I smiled. We were such idiots, unable to have a civil conversation about our feelings. It was like throwing nitrous oxide onto an open flame. I watched the subtle breeze lift the ends of her hair. The moonlight was strong enough for me to see the sadness in her eyes. My heart hurt, warring with all the reasonable suggestions my mind was making. If I wasn't so selfish I would have let my lips form the words that would release Letty forever. But I am selfish. So I walked towards her, lifting her to sit on the trunk of the charger, stopping only when I was standing between her thighs. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her tenderly.
It was like we hadn't skipped a beat. She ran her hands over my shoulders, letting her fingers tickle my ears, then gently pushed my head closer to deepen our kiss. My answer to her question was wrapped up in this kiss, or what should have remained a kiss. Instead it grew into more. I would later lie to myself that I put my hands on her legs to keep her steady on the trunk. That she wrapped her legs around my waist to make sure she didn't fall. That I removed her clothes to check that I hadn't bruised her with my earlier handiwork. That I was aware of what was going on around us. But all of that was a lie. I made love to Letty intensely at the beach not caring if anyone could see us, hearing only her whispered words and uninhibited cries. I gave Letty everything I had: my body, mind, soul, and heart right there in the moonlight. And when I took her home, I kissed her the same way I had at the beach, tenderly filled with a love I couldn't verbalize. And when her parents came over to ask me if I knew where she'd run off to, I felt my world implode completely.
"Yo Dom you need to sign this," Vince called out to me, breaking the trance I was in. I walked to the counter where Harry and Vince had been discussing the latest Veilside body kits. I looked down at the bill but couldn't really make out what the heck was on it. I shook my head trying to focus instead on the bottom line. Whatever. I didn't care. I signed it.
"So Dom, have you given any thought to the races in the desert?" Harry asked me.
"Huh?" I said, not really focusing on the conversation.
"What races?" Vince asked curiously.
"They're calling it 'Race Wars'. It's supposed to be an organized way for street racers to compete from all over."
"Oh yeah? Where at?" Vince asked, interested but trying not to show it.
"Here's the flyer," Harry said eagerly, pushing one towards each of us. I took it automatically but didn't really read it. "Hey, if you're interested I could sponsor your team." I looked at Harry quizzically. Sponsor us for what? I looked down at the flyer trying to wrap my head around it.
"Thanks Harry," Vince told him.
"Did the transmission guy find DT's?" Harry asked always curious if the business he was sending our way.
"Yeah, and so did three of his friends. Why do you think we need all these extra parts?" Vince answered laughing. They shot the breeze for a few more moments then Harry's new flunky employee came in letting us know that our order was loaded up and ready to go.
Vince and I rode back to the garage, making quick work of unloading our latest shipment of parts before recommencing the work we'd left behind. Well Vince went back to working, the cacophony rising with his added tool use. I was on a creeper staring blankly at the undercarriage of a customer's rx-7. Since Letty had left last month I had ceased to function properly. And it was noticeable. Vince had started to pick up where I was slacking here at the garage and the rest of the team avoided saying her name. Oddly enough I felt I was able to focus fully when I was running trucks for Tran. Deep down I knew Letty would feel vindicated if I got caught or hurt and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. This was my act of defiance towards her in the same way her leaving LA was her act of defiance towards me. Time slipped by me and I was brought back to reality by a tapping on the sole of my shoe. I pushed myself into the open then sat up.
"We're closing up," Leon said before moving to remove the day's buildup of garage grime from his hands. I watched Jesse, Leon, and Vince shut the place down then we all headed home. Mia had beaten us there, dinner already waiting for us. Jesse happily reached for the rolls; his lips kissing the crust by the time Mia teased him that he should say grace.
"Past the gums and past the teeth, I am hungry so pass the meat," he rattled off causing them to laugh. I gave Jesse a small smile and passed him the fried chicken. I wasn't feeling very hungry so I pushed my food around, my stomach slowly filling with more Corona than the meal Mia had prepared. No one remarked on it though.
"So what do you think about races in the desert next month?" Vince asked the table at large.
"What races?" Jesse asked eagerly. "Can we go?"
"Harry mentioned organized street races kid," Vince started, pulling the flyer out of his pocket and handing it to Jesse. Leon snatched it from him to read the details aloud.
"So we underground racers can complete without fear of reprisal from the cops for a weekend in June."
"In other words its two days of cars, women, and booze," Mia stated blandly.
"Hell yeah, I'm in. Please say we can go," Jesse begged, looking at me. I sighed.
"Can we afford to go?" Vince asked me. I didn't know. Could we afford to close up shop for three days?
Leon spoke up, "Well if the rest of the race world is out there, can we afford not to go?"
"It would be good free publicity for you to beat the breaks off every team there," Mia added, a funny gleam in her eye. Perhaps she realized that there would be a lot of different guys there, guys who may not know enough about her family to be afraid to ask her out.
"Lots of new competition Dom," Jesse added to try to draw my vote.
"It costs a buck fifty for each racer to enter for a chance at the overall ten grand prize," Vince added. Six hundred dollars for me, Vince, Jesse and Leon to race. Mia would not race. Organized or on the streets, I forbade it.
"But I bet they'll be a lot of side betting too," Leon piped up.
"Please say we can go," Jesse whined. I looked over at Mia who I could tell was doing the financial burden calculations in her head, her brow creasing slightly. I wasn't keeping exact tabs on that either but I figured we could probably make it if we kept things tight for the rest of the month.
"It could get expensive," Mia admitted. Yeah it could be really expensive if we each put up cash for side bets and lost.
"But only if we lose," I told her, feeling reckless. That third Corona was starting to give me a fuzzy feeling around the edge of my brain. For a moment I mused that I should have eaten more. "Besides Harry said he'd sponsor us."
Vince grunted, "He'll want something in return."
"Well set it up anyway," I told him. Vince scowled. He didn't liked owing people less than I did.
"It's probably Racer's Edge decals or mentioning we go to him for parts," Leon interjected sensing Vince was getting agitated.
"So are we going?" Jesse asked impatiently.
"Looks that way," I sighed. Jesse whooped with glee. Vince gave me a sour look which I ignored, retreating to my bedroom. I stripped then lay under the cool covers, willing myself to fall asleep quickly. But sleep didn't come. Instead I heard them living downstairs: watching TV, popping popcorn, making jokes, answering the phone. About ten the doorbell rang. I prayed that it wouldn't be Letty's mom breaking down again to ask me if I'd heard from her daughter. But it wasn't her. I heard the familiar footfalls ascend the stairs then a small knock before the bedroom door opened.
"Dom?" I didn't answer. I was hoping she would go home if she thought I was asleep. No such luck. Joi closed the door gently then took off her heels before crawling on the bed, straddling my back. She whispered my name in my ear and I grunted a response. I felt her hands whisper over my shoulders, her hair skimming over my skin as she bent over to rest her upper body on my back. It was a move I could have appreciated before but now it just irritated me. Couldn't she tell that I wanted to be left alone?
"What do you want Joi?" I asked tiredly.
"Nothing baby. I missed you," she whispered. I was proud of her, her voice almost devoid of the pouting edge.
"I'm not in the mood," I stated. Her hands stilled for a minute, and then she started to rub me again, this time letting her hands skim along the sides of my stomach.
"Come on," she coaxed, the pout starting to creep out, "I can make you feel better."
"Probably not." I didn't care if I was hurting her feelings. I just wanted her out of here. I wouldn't give her what she wanted even if my body had been willing. It wasn't.
"Dom don't forget that I'm your girlfriend," she said, the attempt at being seductive gone. She sat up and slapped my back. "I won't stand for being ignored." I didn't dignify her statement with a response so she crawled off me, slipping her heels back on before she stomped out of the house. If I had been smart I would have broken up with her then. But all I could think about was how I deserved her attitude and small spurt of violence. Plus the selfish part of me wasn't willing to cut Joi loose just yet. With Joi on my arm I could pretend to the racing scene that Letty's disappearance wasn't eating me alive. I could pretend I was going to her house when I was actually going to transport trucks for her brother. But I mostly wanted to prove to myself that I could make a relationship work, even if my heart wasn't in it.