sorry it took so long, been working on other stories more =] bold means A) diary entry, B) text message. Italics means its a flash back. read and review!

disclaimer: i don't own hannah montana. duh.

Dear Journal,

Ok, so, big fight with Miley yesterday. I went to her house to apologize a little while ago. I didn't really want to, but I felt bad. But everyone has been talking about me and Oliver--Miley, Sarah, Mr. Stewart. He made some stupid comment about "how we look at each other." I look at Oliver like I do anyone else. At least, that's what I think. Whatever.

But then when I fell asleep earlier, I dreamt about him. We were just at the beach, chillen like always, but it was different. It was less argumentative, more happy. And then, when we left, he took my hand and we walked down the beach, still just talking. When we reached my house, he kissed me on the cheek and I almost skipped inside I was so happy.

What was it all about? Miley would just tell me its my subconscious, that's its my current "happy place." I'm calling it my current nightmare.

Top 10 reasons I can't date Oliver

2. We're practically related.

I decided to think about it this time. And just to prove to Miley that I'm not scared of a relationship, I'm going to go talk to Oliver. Prove her wrong.

Lilly

I called Oliver earlier. We decided to meet at the beach later. I had a few hours, so I figured I'd go work on my homework so I could go help Miley prepare for her concert tomorrow night.

I sat down at the desk, flipping open my math book with a sigh. Algebra was never a strong point of mine--usually Oliver just helped me. Today didn't seem so appropriate to ask him for help, though. I started on the first problem, but I could tell I wouldn't be able to focus. My thoughts kept sliding back to my conversation with Oliver.

"Hey."

"Wondering when you'd call," Oliver sighed.

"Whats the supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Sorry. Whats up?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to hang roday."

"Sure. I'll meet you at the beach at 3."

"I'll see you then. And…" I despretely wanted to talk to him like normal, for all this weirdness to go away.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll see you at 3."

It was the most akward conversation I had had so far with Oliver. Obviously he had heard the rumors, but I hadn't expect him to be so…affected by it. I mean, in 7th grade there was a rumor spreading around that his dad really wasn't his dad, and he didn't even care. So why let a little thing like this bother him?

Apparently, it wasn't only bothering him. I couldn't do anything that day, except fidget and wait for 3 to come. I gave up on my math homework shortly after starting, knowing it was useless to try. I decided to get ready--despite the fact that it was only 11--and hopped in the shower. The hot water relaxed my tense muscles, and for 20 minutes I was able to focus on nothing but the smell of my shampoo and not cutting myself with my razor. It come to a close all to quickly, though; and I was back in my room by 11:30.

I looked in my closet, hoping for something decent to be clean. I combed through my shirts, silently rejecting each new one I came to. Why was I acting like this? On most occasions, I put more thought into whether I should have breakfast or not. Eventually, I picked out my pink baby doll tee (Miley bought it for me) and a pair of white shorts. As I was dressing, I remembered what happened the last time I wore it.

"Finally someone's got style!" Miley rejoiced, running up to me in the halls.

"Umm, you're the one who bought it. And besides everything else was dirty. Our laundry machine's broken, so now all I have is your 'gifts.'

"Thank the lord!"

"Hey Miley, hey lilly…" Oliver trailed off, and looked up and down my frame. "What are you wearing?"

"Clothes," I replied sarcastically. "Miley bought them. It's the only thing left in my closet--our laundry machine's broken."

"Oh. Well, they look good." Not what I expected. Blushing, I said thank you before quickly changing the subject.

Was that part of the reason I was wearing the shirt? That I wanted to impress him again, inspire the same reaction? That didn't make sense though. I had no feelings for Oliver.

I decided to head down to the beach early. Sitting around my empty house just made the minutes stretch into hours, only making the passing time more and more stressful. After scribbling a note for my mom, I locked the door and headed towards the beach. It was only a 10 minute walk, and I relished the time I was able to spend focused on taking the right turns and not getting hit by a passing car.

The sea breeze overcame my senses and instantly calmed me. Throwing off my flip flops, I ran into the low surf and let the water wash over my feet. The water was cool and smooth, and for a few minutes I listen to nothing but the crash of waves onto the beach.

"Hey," Miley said hesitantly, staring out at the surfers in the distance.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound to inquisitive.

"I was just with Jake. He had to leave to go back to the set. You?"

"Waiting for Oliver," I saw a look of shock spread across her brow, asking for further explanation. "I figured it was time we…we talked about it."

"Oh lily," she pulled me into a hug. "I'm proud of you.

"Thanks…I think."

"Look, I've got to go, but…things have changed between you two. Oliver may not like it anymore than you do, but they are different. You can't just go on pretending that you don't have feelings for each other. Or at least have thought about having feelings for each other," she added hastily after I glared at her. "Your feelings have matured, and that's completely natural. I bet Oliver is wishing that he could just go back to loving from--" she stopped suddenly. "Crap, I wasn't supposed to say that. Anways, just think about your not the only one whose affected by it." She started to walk off.

"What do you mean, loving from? Loving from what, Miley? MILEY STEWART, GET BACK HERE!"

She continued to walk away, but I felt my phone start to vibrate. I was fuming, but I picked it up so I wouldn't focus on what Miley said. Bad idea.

You have 1 new text message from: MILEY STEWART

I furiously clicked ok to reveal the message, not caring about anything she could say. Her message was a single word:

Afar.

Sent by: MILEY STEWART

Received: 2:28 pm September 18