Muse

By: RisuBento

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the title and the plot of this story.

Chapter Five: Found

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The summer that I'd returned from medical school was a slow one. Kagome would come over just about everyday, we'd sit there and just watch movies or something. She'd make me breakfast and lunch----something I didn't object too because she was a wonderful cook. It's been getting harder and harder to stay around her without carnal thought arousing in my mind.

I felt like a pedophile…maybe I was…loving someone who was almost 7 years longer than me. I was now sitting in my room at my computer attempting to draw something on Adobe Photoshop…only to realize that my mind was completely blank. I thought back to what Mr. Collins had said to me on the phone a few weeks ago…about finding a muse. Finding a muse was A LOT harder than I thought it would be… I didn't even know what I was supposed to be looking for.

Shaking my head, I clicked the 'x' button at the top right hand corner of the program and pushed away from my computer, my swivel chair rolling across the hardwood floor. Clasping my hands behind my head, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to calm myself down…I needed to relax. I needed to STOP THINKING ABOUT KAGOME! And I definitely needed to get the image of her without her shirt or bra on. I did a double take. Wait a minute…

What the crap? I leaned forward in my chair and confirmed my fantasy…which turned out wasn't a fantasy at all…Kagome really WAS standing there…in front of her window…without a shirt or bra on. My eyes grew wide and repeatedly told myself to look away…LOOK AWAY YOU MORON! But alas… I couldn't. How could I when my very fantasy was there…standing directly in front of me? She was changing into her two piece bathing suit…I was almost jealous of whomever it was that was going to go swimming with her. Her body 'has' changed quite a bit…fuller breast…rounder hips…

Oh…talk about major jack off. I groaned and went into the bathroom to take care of my…"problem".

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The summer was ending and I was beginning to pack my things to go back to New York and continue medical school. I wasn't coming back for almost 4 years this time…I wouldn't have the time. If I wanted to graduate from med school earlier than I was supposed to…I was to have double the classes. My schedule would become so hectic that I was sure I wouldn't have the time or patience to come back.

Kagome came by the other day and asked if I'd drawn anything lately. I told her no and almost wished I could kiss that pout from her face. I needed to get these carnal thoughts from my mind. I needed to STOP thinking about her. I was just finishing my packing when a knock on my door sounded. I said for them to come in and I heard the door open and then close. Whoever it was didn't make a sound. I turned around and felt my innards freeze up.

"Kagome? What is it?" I asked my voice almost cracking in my sudden and unusual nervousness.

The girl just shrugged and wandered over to the ladder connected to my bed. I watched her nervously, as she climbed up and plopped down onto my bed. Another knock on my door sounded and in came Izayoi.

"Sesshoumaru? Oh, hi Kagome." She smiled a sweet smile at the girl on my bed. Kagome smiled and said hi back. Izayoi beamed and looked back at me before coming in. "Have you got everything packed? I came to tell you that the taxi to the airport is waiting outside." She continued.

I nodded and zipped my bag shut. My step-mother grabbed one of the bags and lugged it out of my room and down the stairs while I was left with a quiet Kagome. I turned back to the girl laying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I didn't know what to say… "See ya in 4 year long years Kagome! Don't get together with anyone because I'll be depressed as hell!"? No. I couldn't. I couldn't be selfish. I could never have Kagome as my own. The age difference between us was far too great… at least I thought it was in a way. I was drawn from my thoughts when Kagome spoke to me.

"Sesshoumaru? I'll miss you." She smiled sitting up on her knees. I swallowed and nodded, averting my eyes. She sat up even further so her legs were dangling over the edge of my mattress. "Will you try and write back to my letters?"

I nodded. I probably wouldn't have the time to write her back…but I couldn't tell her that.

"Look at me." She said. I did. She was smiling at me. In that moment, I saw a woman that I wanted her to be… The one old enough for us to be together. She reached out and tugged gently at my silver bangs…which turned out to be my undoing. I snagged her wrist and pulled her down onto my lips. Time stalled…slowed to a numbing throb… I didn't ever want to leave this moment. I wanted her to be here…with me.

But…the taxi's horn from outside honked in annoyance and Izayoi called up the stairs for me to hurry up. I pulled away from her, a light smacking sound was heard as our lips pulled apart. It was only a quick, yet chaste, peck on the lips…it felt like eternity to me. She was sitting there with wide eyes and her mouth slightly ajar. I muttered a quick 'Sorry' and picked up my remaining bag and left her alone in my room.

4 years… I wouldn't see her in 4 years… I was almost glad I'd taken that foolish step, into kissing her. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders that day. My first kiss…pathetic---I know--- was finally granted to someone worthy enough. Someone I could trust my entire being with.

Someone who I wouldn't see in almost half a decade.

3 and half years later….

I sighed… it was only a few more weeks until I graduated…I was turning 24 on the 27th of March…and I was graduating from med school about 8 years early than I was supposed to. I'll tell you this much. I don't want to be a doctor. I'm only doing this because I don't want to let my father down. I want to be a comic artist. It doesn't help with the fact that I haven't been able to draw in almost 7 years… I'd actually found the time to write back to Kagome… She'd sent me almost 2 letters a week. I kept them all. Whenever I received a new one, I would tell myself to write her back…and I would start one but would become distracted by one of my roommates or something.

Just the other day, when I was beginning to put my accessories from home and ones that I've bought here in New York into boxes, I came across the box of her letters. I pulled them out and began to read them. She was such a…talker. She 'always' had something to say. I'll admit, I DO enjoy hearing about the stupid things that my younger half-brother Inuyasha has done. I kept the letters in order of dates they were sent by. Starting back from the first week I came back here to last week. I studied her handwriting, how it slightly changed over the years into more of a loopy cursive look. I loved how she looped the 'S' on my name in a loopy fashion.

I shook my head and laid back on my bed. Kagome… I'd tried so hard to get her out of my mind for a long time. I'd even gone out with a few girls, just to get her off my mind. I had a girlfriend for almost 4 months. Rin Takeda was studying to become a nurse at the community college on the other side of New York. She was…cute. She giggled a lot. Maybe a little too much. She was one of those clingy girls that wouldn't let go of my arm unless I was forced to call the fire department and have them removed her with "The Jaws of Life". I'd actually been able to keep Kagome off my mind for almost the entire time I was with Rin…that is until I remembered that it was Kagome's birthday in about a week, last year.

Rin and I were at a restaurant after a long days labor at school and I was 'supposed' to be listening to her when she asked me "How does that sound?"

I came out of my daydream and asked. "I'm sorry…what were you saying, Kagome?"

Weeeell…let's just say that my hair was still sticky after about a week with her chocolate shake that she "oh-so-gracefully" tossed into my face.

I was now waiting for the day to go back home. To see Kagome… I felt like a fool. As giddy as a school boy to put it pathetically and bluntly. Just a few more weeks…

I suddenly had a flash of Kagome's eyes sear through my mind…those hauntingly electric blue eyes of hers. My hand, resting on my laptop's keyboard, twitched. I had the sudden urge to draw something. Anything. Kagome. I pulled up Adobe Photoshop on my computer and paused. This was the first time I'd ever pulled it up on my computer while in New York. I'd just put in on there in case I found my muse or came up with an idea of something to draw. I began to draw her eyes…

Then her hair…then her skin…her pink lips… I shaded everything correctly…it looked like a photograph.

Kagome… It was then in that moment that Mr. Collins' voice echoed.

"A muse can be anything…it's something motivates or inspires you to create new ideas to draw or paint something…"

I closed my eyes and sighed. Thinking to myself, I leaned back and looked up at my ceiling. "Mr. Collins…I think I've found my muse…"

Kagome…

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S'bout time you idiot! Keh! Anyhoo! Please review!

Ta, lovelies!

RisuBento