Six ‹ Dawn ›

When I opened my eyes, it was to the best sight on the entire planet. Something I never thought I would ever see, even though this was the third time I'd woken to it. I smiled, greeting, "Hey, Sally," the same time my mind bounced between a booya-rific dream and the fact that she was really in my bed.

"Hey," she whispered, flushing before looking away.

I could tell she'd been awake for a while, because she didn't have the creases on her cheeks. Man, she's gorgeous… A yawn interrupted the thought, and how tired I felt made me wonder what time it was. I brushed some hair from my face as I pushed myself up to look out the window at the head of the master bed. When I saw it was only just past sun-up, I thought Oh. No wonder, just before I remembered another reason why I was so tired.

Oh yeah! I lowered myself back down to one elbow, smiling over at Sally and her braids, loving how her hair poked out all over. I reached over to brush some hair from her face. Dude, she's so soft. "How you doin'?" I asked quietly. I was doing– Booya!

She flushed darker, if possible, and sent me one of those awesome timid smiles. "I'm okay."

I couldn't look away from her beautiful brown eyes, my smile softening as I felt the passion hit me upside the back of the head. Chill, Dincht! I jerked hard on my control and adjusted my position to rest my cheek against her upper chest, wrapping my arms around her to just listen to her heart-beat. I closed my eyes, drawing in and releasing several deep breaths as I tried not to remember how awesome- Don't, Dincht!

I really hadn't meant for it to happen, not that I regretted it! No way! It was just I hadn't expected it at all. I had thought it would be at least another week. But when she'd started kissing me like that and saying my name like that and how much she loved me… My brain had just shut off. Next thing I knew I had been kissing and touching her like I'd wanted since before Winhill.

Booya!

Once or twice I might have gotten sense enough to say her name, fully meaning to ask if she was really ready, but then nada. Zip. Zilch. Not when she'd looked at me with those brown eyes and that soft smile, the rise and fall of her breathing lifting my thumbs as they stroked the soft skin of her midriff… Nope. Nothing doing. It would've been like trying to stop a runaway train with a marshmallow… or something.

And performance freak or not, being with Sally had been… easy. Instinct. Old school. I don't know. We just clicked. Sure there was the fumble and the 'oops', which made her giggle and invite another kiss and touch… then there was just… just us. Just Booya!-awesome us. I couldn't have dreamt it better, and believe me when I say I've had some pretty Booya! scenarios. She blew them away.

I must have stared at her for hours after she drifted to sleep, wondering if I'd screwed everything with a push that should have been a step back. Before meeting her, I probably wouldn't have cared. I would've taken it as it came and not given a second thought to the consequences. But this was Sally. She was shy and modest and… and I loved her. I wanted to make her happy.

That was one of the reasons I'd tried my damndest to give her the space she needed. Yeah I was a performance freak, so I didn't want her to look at me with a '…the hell?!' expression, but it was more than that. I just didn't know how to explain it. The only thing I could say was, "I didn't know how you'd look at me this morning." And that kind of confession was damn hard.

Sally softly stroked my hair, not saying a word. I loved how it felt, but when she didn't say anything that would've made me feel better, that had me by the balls. I mean, Sally always tried to make me feel better if it sounded like I was bugged by something. That was one of the things I loved about her.

When she let out a slow breath but still didn't say anything, I lifted my head and met her gaze. She had a small smile on her face, but… Well… It looked a little…. not Sally. "Sally? You okay?" You ass-wipe! You jumped her like some hormone freak!

But then her smile changed. It… It 'softened' I guess. To one of those that always wrecked me. And before I could grab a firm hold of my control, she caressed my tattoo and the hair above my ear and whispered, "I'm fine, Zell," immediately wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing my cheek as she pulled herself close.

DINCHT!!

But it was too late. The minute she whispered "I love you," in a sexy teary voice while nuzzling her lips against my neck, I was gone.

***

…Dincht…. the hell?!…

I stared up at the ceiling of the master suite, mind dazed. I hadn't meant the second time to happen, but I'll be damned if it wasn't even better than the first! How someone like Sally could learn something like that as fast as she did… I swallowed hard and rubbed at my scalp, moving my focus to her as she slept with her cheek against my chest and her arm draped over me. My smile softened. Dude, do you have any idea what you've gotten yourself into here? Yeah. Three weeks of heaven on earth.

Three weeks? Try a lifetime!

Yeah, and I was fine with that. Booya!-fine.

I released a quick breath and shook my head, moving my hands to undo the bands that held her braids and then unravel them, twisting the locks between my fingers. Duuuuuuuuuuude….. A continued stroke of her hair elicited a deep breath and a mumbled "…five more minutes…" as she adjusted her position closer against me.

"Sure, kitten," I whispered. "Sleep as long as you want." I didn't mind, and after putting up with me? She deserved more than five minutes.

I let out another deep breath, still caressing her hair and her face as I scrubbed at my scalp while trying to figure out how to ask her if I had been out of line while not embarrassing the hell out of her. Out of line, Dincht? She's your wife. How can making love to her be 'out of line'? But I didn't know. I just wanted to make sure. I mean, the whole 'week' thing kept kicking me in the head.

Dude. Just let it go. If she's got a problem, she'll let you know.

I gave a single curt nod and then rested my free hand behind my head, smiling at the ceiling as I kept stroking Sally's hair and back. How life could get any better I had no idea. I was married to a hottie like Sally. I had a great position with Garden. I could pretty much pick and choose what I wanted to do with my life. And this thing with the crystals would prove to Seifer, once and for all, that I wasn't a joke when it came to security.

My smile faded, the stroke of my hand against Sally's hair becoming more absent and slight. Sometimes I think Seifer kept pushing that button because he knew it still got to me. It had ever since Timber when he had busted in and I had blurted about Garden. Sure I did my best to just say 'Whatever, Seifer,' while looking like I thought it was funny. But it was like a kick to the balls each time.

It was getting really old.

"I'm just as good at security as everybody else down there," I grumbled. But I knew Seifer wouldn't believe it until I could prove it. That meant something like this.

I let out a quick breath, a sleepy mumble of "smotha bunny" from Sally drawing my attention and a lopsided smile. And when she adjusted herself against me, I knew I had to get out of that bed before I did something I would regret- Well, I probably wouldn't regret it, but come on. I had to cut 'shy girl' some slack.

And me.

"Cold shower, Dincht," I mumbled as I slipped out from under the covers and grabbed up my boxers. Hopping on first one foot and then the other, I made my way to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway when I remembered what had happened last time. Hm. After last night and this morning, there was no way I wouldn't pull her in with me. "Swim, Dincht. Yeah. That's it."

So I grabbed my swim trunks from my dresser and then made my way on deck, trying to figure out how I was going to control myself now that the boat had been rocked.

And Sally rocked!

"You can only do what you can do," I told myself, again hopping on one foot and then the other as I slipped into my swim trunks. Only problem was, where Sally was concerned that wasn't enough. It never really had been. Forget explaining it. I couldn't. It's just nothing was ever good enough. A present. A dinner. A kiss, or holding hands. Something I protected her from. Something I did for her…. Nope. It just wasn't ever enough.

I was addicted. That was the only way of looking at it.

And I didn't mind.

***

The swim was awesome, but when I headed below deck and smelled sausage, toast, and eggs, that was better than awesome.

When I stepped into the doorway of the yacht's kitchenette I stopped and smiled, crossing my arms as I leaned against the doorjamb to watch Sally cook breakfast while wearing her usual gray shorts and tank-tee. Her back to me, she couldn't see me watching her, something I never thought I'd do. I mean, just stare at a girl while they did stuff like cook or play cards or read a book? 'Why' I couldn't tell ya. All I knew was that I found myself doing it. A lot.

I pushed from the doorjamb and stepped toward her, resting my hands on her shoulders as I gave the back of her neck a kiss. She smelled like vanilla and… and Sally. "Mornin', sexy." Even though it was closer to noon than anything. Booya!

She turned her head enough to intercept my brief kiss and then offered a smile. "Good morning, handsome. I made you breakfast."

"Yeah. It smells great!" Not as good as her, but oh well. I turned her to face me and drew her close, smirking when she wrapped her arms around me and just smiled up at me. Dincht… I know I was asking for pain and trouble, but I couldn't help it. "You smell better, but hey. You know I'm always hungry."

Just not for eggs and toast anymore.

Sally giggled and kissed my cheek. "Silly boy." Then she rested her cheek against my chest and released a long and deep breath. "Zell…"

I waited for more, but it didn't come. She only tightened her arms around me and sighed again. It was weird. I'd heard her sigh like that before… but not really. How could I tell the difference? Well, it gave me prickles all over. The kind I got when something wasn't right. The kind I had got just before Quis, Selph and I had been locked in the room at General Caraway's mansion when we were supposed to be waiting for the Sorceress.

Uh oh. I'd never been good at getting people to talk about things that bugged at them. And with Sally? Dude. I'd screw up, major! I rubbed at her back, kicking myself in the head when I hemmed and hawed. Just ask, Dincht! Geez! "That didn't sound so good. You mad that I swam without ya?"

I doubted it, but hey. Why not at least try and figure it out.

"No," she said softly.

"Good, because we can go swimming again. No sweat." Maybe I'm just imagining things? It wouldn't be the first time. "I'm sorry 'bout putting off the visit with your folks, Sally," I tried again. After all, she'd been looking forward to it.

"It's alright," Sally assured, just as quiet as before. "We couldn't put-off searching for the magicite. It's really important. And Dad had an emergency anyway. Remember?"

Okay, so maybe I am imagining things? "Yep. But still. I hate being a slacker and stuff."

She giggled, pushing back to meet my gaze. "You're not a slacker, Zell. You've been wonderful, calling my parents the minute anything goes off tangent. They're very impressed by that." She gave me a brief kiss before once more resting her cheek against my chest. "And so am I," she whispered.

I would've scratched my head, only I couldn't get myself to let go. Just forget it, Dincht. You're getting paranoid. So I shoved it aside and gave her a tight squeeze. "Hey. As long as you're impressed, my job's done."

She sniggered. "Silly boy." Then she tightened her arms around me, released another breath, and then pulled back to reach behind and take up the plate of breakfast and offer it to me. "Here you go, sweetie."

"Thanks." I took the plate, staring down at it as she once more faced the stove and started making her own breakfast. For some reason I wasn't hungry anymore. Hm. I shook my head and made my way to the little table, trying to ignore the soft sigh I heard from Sally and the prickles it gave me.

***

Yet another meeting with the Foundation had come up, postponing our meeting with Dr. Tahlson until we would arrive at Winhill the next day. We called Mom and Dad, let them know about the change of plans, and then Zell and I set sail at a pretty fast clip. We'd now been sailing along for several hours already, and I was starting to get sleepy.

I didn't usually stay up that late… ahem.

Trying to get my mind off the visual, I asked, "I wonder what Dr. Tahlson will say when he sees all those beautiful artifacts?"

"Are you kidding? He'll likely offer us so much money that our eyes'll pop out of our head."

"You really think so?" The feel of Zell's continual stroke on my arm as he guided the yacht toward the coast and a small port-town called Moor's Head kept drawing my imagination back. That and I loved how it felt to have his arm around me as I stood close against him. He was shirtless – it had been a warm day – and the feeling of cheek against his skin was spectacular. The only problem was that it reminded me of another time we had touched like this… and that made me twitch because… Well, I… I wanted it again.

And that scared me.

Zell's hand moved to the small of my back and began a soft stroke of the area that was the common location of a lot of my back pain. I smiled up at him, the internal twitch and fear disappearing on the wave of an intense emotion I didn't know how to describe. And it… It embarrassed me how powerful it was.

Zell winked. "I figure we'll still get to Winhill some time tomorrow afternoon. I'm getting kinda groggy, so we might need to anchor for the night. Is that okay?"

I nodded, still standing close while being completely and utterly drunk with being married to Zell. I was so drunk, in fact, that once this intense emotion came, the fear and uncertainty couldn't rise higher than a distant 'lurk'.

Zell chuckled and looked away. "You better stop looking up at me like that, kitten, or I'll park early and give you The Works." He sent me a sidelong glance.

The intensity flared, widening my silly smile as I giggled "Okay," while a part of me stared in horror.

Zell laughed and gave me a jostle. "Okay. Let me find a place to park and I'll do something about that tightness I feel in your back. It hasn't been there for a while, and I don't want it coming back."

Silly giggle complete with a wrinkled nose and crinkled eyes preceded my tight hug of his shirtless middle. "Oh goodie!"

Sally Regal didn't live here anymore.

He laughed again as he pulled back on the throttle and brought the yacht to a 'stop'. Then he dropped anchor and took me by the hand to lead me below. "Come on, kitten. Let's see if you purr."

What else could I do? I giggled.

***

breath - silence - breath - silence - breath

As the ship gently rocked us back and forth and the waves lapped against the hull of the yacht whispering promises of a different future, I could only focus on the steady and soothing rhythm of Zell's breathing and how his warmth made me… feel. It was so different from before.

More.

I released a deep breath and turned my head to look over at him. He lie on his side, the top-sheet pulled up to his armpits as he held his pillow a little against him. His blonde hair sticking up in places. A pillow crease on his cheek… breath - silence - breath - silence - breath– quick breath, whispered "…Sally…" slow breath out…

My eyes misted and my throat tightened as I sat carefully up, holding the sheet against me as I stared down at him, softly touching his hair from his face. Janine had warned that the first time being intimate wouldn't be all that wonderful, especially since neither of us had all that much experience - if any. "And it'll hurt like hell, Sal gal. So don't think you're doing something wrong. It just does." Mom had said the same thing. But…

I softly smiled as I caressed his cheek, sighing when he mumbled "…let's smotha lova…" and then drifted back to the deep breathing of before. I covered my face with my hands, remembering how I'd responded to his touch. Remembering how it had felt to be that… trusting and… close. It had been the most glorious experience of my life… The rightness of being with him and then drifting to sleep against him after, accompanied by the whisper of "I love you, Sally," as he kissed my neck… I sighed, ignoring a… leaden weight that was starting to grow.

I didn't want it.

I loved him so much, and I enjoyed being this connected to him. This trusting. Now I… I craved it. I… I couldn't get enough. I wanted more of this kind of sharing of everything of myself… and yet… that continued to feed the leaden weight… A weight that neither Janine nor Mom had warned me about.

Slowly lowering my hands, I once more took to my favorite hobby: Watching him when he didn't know it. I had been doing that for years. I couldn't stop. It let me see things that he never showed anyone else. Sides of him that he kept so close… Vulnerabilities. Softness. Parts of him that I loved knowing about.

And now I had this.

I swallowed hard and then snuggled up against him, whispering, "Go back to sleep, sweetie," when he sleepily asked, "Hm?" Then Zell drew me closer, arms holding me tight against him as he let out a deep breath and mumbled "Okay."

So I held him, closing my eyes and just listening to his breathing as I stroked his hair and tried to keep from thinking anything but that I was married.

Reminding myself that I was married.

I was married.

I was.