Eight › Mega-Confessions ‹

"So what's with the emblems?" Zell asked between bites of lasagna. He gave my hand a grip and sent me a wink, which I received with a smile and a soft shade of rose. "You said something about an important dynasty or something."

"Indeed." Dr. Tahlson set aside his fork and opened up his computer. Entering a combination of commands, he brought up a rendered image of a ring. "This is the signet ring of a very heroic king who lived some two millennia ago. Legend says that he, along with some 13 of his compatriots, were responsible for saving our world from a madman who attempted to use the Espers' magic for evil."

"Booya!" Zell exclaimed, lasagna bite forgotten mid-way to his mouth.

I sent him a sidelong 'You're so cute!' look before focusing again on the doctor.

Dr. Tahlson continued. "In the ancient texts there's even mention of statues and a door to a secondary dimension, but we haven't been able to ascertain location. All we know is the delicate balance was upset by this madman, thereby putting the world at risk."

"Until this king and his friends stopped him?" I offered quietly.

"Exactly."

Dr. Tahlson typed a few more commands into the computer and brought up an image of a handsome young king with an air of assurance and mischief in his eyes and face. He had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and stood at least six feet tall.

"This is King Edgar Roni Figaro of the Figaro Kingdom. The heroic king I mentioned." He focused again on us as we examined the portrait. "He reigned until his death at the age of 98 years. His wife, Queen Terra Branford Figaro…" He commanded up another image of a lovely lady with light green hair and an innocent expression of purity and yet of quiet pain. "Surpassed him in age, dying at 112 years. Romantic poets of the era after his death say that she was never the same."

I sighed, "Oh how she must have missed him," as I felt my lips twitch downward. Zell gave my leg a squeeze.

Dr. Tahlson's lips twitched upward. "Yes, well, I suppose so. They were married at a young age, and between her adopted children and her natural ones, she reportedly had 18."

"Oh my!"

"Booya!"

I giggled and gave him a push. "Zell!" I hissed.

Dr. Tahlson chuckled. Then he typed in a few more commands and brought up another lady's image, this woman colored a light violet with wild hair and sad eyes. To me, it seemed as if she held an unfathomable power and didn't know how to use it.

"Who's that?" I asked, voice hushed.

"That is Queen Terra Branford Figaro. In Esper form."

"Wha-!? She was an esper?"

"Half Esper, half human. She was the key factor to the madman's defeat, as she had a way to communicate with the Espers that allowed her friends to gather their life-force and utilize that power in the fight against evil. After the madman's defeat - we can't seem to find his name in the writings - Magic was said to disappear from the planet, though we haven't been able to ascertain the reason for it. Or how it was returned."

I thoughtfully bit my lip. "The fact it's back… Is that why you believe it's due to the Guardian Forces?"

Dr. Tahlson nodded. "Yes." He closed the program and then turned off the computer. "Now that you've found these magicite shards and these artifacts holding the Figaro crest, we've been able to determine most of the ancient writings as true." He looked down to the lasagna and absently retrieved his fork. "I never thought we would ever discover as much as we have these past days."

Zell finished his last bite of lasagna and then gathered his plate into the kitchen to the sink. "Get used to it, doc. When Sally's around, things have a tendency of getting solved quick, fast, and in a hurry."

I flushed and lowered my gaze to my plate.

Dr. Tahlson chuckled. "Yes. I found that to be true when working with your charming wife for the software program. It's been a pleasure to work with you, Mrs. Dincht."

While it sounded wonderful, I still softly corrected him. "Please. Call me, Sally."

"Certainly, but you must call me Harry."

"Harry?" I repeated. "But… But I thought your name was Zachari."

"It is, but everyone calls me Harry." He smiled and pushed his plate away. "Well, I had best be going. I would like to put a few more hours in at the computer before calling it a night. I'll be sure to contact you tomorrow afternoon so that you can retrieve your chest and resume your travels."

Zell had reappeared from the sink to rest a hand on my shoulder. "Keep a few of the things, doc. We don't need 'em all. That way you don't have to rush and it'll be easier for everyone all the way around."

Harry nodded and stood, producing a hand and giving Zell's a firm grip. "Thank you, Zell. I appreciate it." Then he offered me a hand to give mine a gentle pressure. "Thank you for dinner, Sally. It was wonderful."

I stood, releasing his hand after another pressure, and then followed him and Zell out and to the side where he boarded his houseboat. "Good night, Harry. We'll see you in the morning?"

Harry's eyes twinkled with his smile. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. I might pull a late night and forget to wake in the morning. Feel free to move on. I'll meet you at a later time to return these things to you."

Zell draped his arm around my shoulders. "Sure thing, doc. We've planned to hang out here in Winhill for a couple days, so just keep it around and we'll bump into you off and on. Maybe dinner again tomorrow? There's a great restaurant in Winhill."

Harry nodded and then touched his forehead with a finger. "Tomorrow then. Good night." And he entered the cabin of his houseboat.

Giving my shoulders a squeeze, Zell kissed my temple. "Cool guy, for a geek."

I yawned and nodded, then turned in his arms and gave him a hug.

Zell chuckled, his hands soothing a slight twitch in my back. "Come on, kitten. Let's get your hair combed and your teeth brushed and then put you down for a nap."

I released a content sigh. "Okay."

When I didn't move, he chuckled again, still rubbing at the small of my back and then up and down my spine with his fingers. "We gotta move below-deck first, kitten."

"But I'm comfy here." And the bedroom just made me remember too many things. Feelings and desires that I didn't know how to feel or to accept. I mean, I knew they were okay, but I… I didn't know how to tell 'Sally Regal'. She had worked so hard to keep me a virgin that now, those protections and rules were really hard to push past.

My relationship with Zell was breaking so many, and I enjoyed breaking them.

Which had to be why I felt… guilty.

"Sally."

"Hm?"

"Why do you keep knotting up back here?" Zell gently gripped each arm and pushed me back, trying to meet my gaze.

But I only stared at the wedding ring on my finger. Sally, you need to tell him something. It didn't matter if it would embarrass me to death. He was my friend, my teacher, and my husband. He deserved to know.

"Come on, Sally. I can read your stress like a book, and something's got you worked. Why won't you tell me what it is?"

"Because I don't know how," I whispered, proud of myself for saying that much.

Zell's hold on my arms momentarily tightened before he gently tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. He looked concerned. More concerned than I had ever seen him. "You'd tell me if I was out of line any time this week, right? I mean… Sally, the last thing I want is to freak you out. Seriously. If you need space, you just tell me."

"Zell…." I sniffed and cupped his cheek. I had no idea what to say. It should have been so easy to tell him my problem, he did deserve to know, but… I stepped forward and held him close, squeezing my eyes shut tight as his arms went around me. Sally, you're not being fair! The longer you stay silent, the more and more he'll convince himself that he's done something. "Zell…" But I…. I just couldn't.

"Come on, Sally," he pleaded, once more pushing me back and holding my gaze. "Please just talk to me? I can take it. Swear."

I lowered my gaze, worrying my lower lip as I twirled my wedding band.

"Sally, please."

I twitched. I had never heard him sound so desperate, and that made me start to silently cry. If I had only known that this would be a problem… "Zell, I… I…" I looked up, hiccuping on the tears as I met his concerned expression that bordered on helplessness. "It's not you," I told him, voice choked. "It's me. That's all."

"I don't care if it's not me. It's you and me here, so if one of us has a problem we both have a problem." Zell stepped a little closer, stroking my arms with his thumbs. "Come on, Sally. You don't have to stress about nothing by yourself. You never did. Not since we hooked up. You just gotta talk to me."

And it sounded so simple. Why couldn't I do the simple things? "I… I…" I bit my lower lip, unable to look away from Zell's blue eyes that seemed to hold encouragement and helplessness.

"You… You what?" he prompted. "Is it the satellite thing? The bikini? You feel bad about something I don't know about? What?"

Bikini. I blinked. I had forgotten about the bikini. Flushing, I lowered my gaze and brushed the tears from my cheeks. "I forgot about that."

"'Bout what?"

"The bikini. I was supposed to wear it."

"Ohhhh. Thaaaat." Zell released a quick breath. "Is that all? Geez. You really freaked me out."

I looked up, mouth open to say 'No, that wasn't it. I just forgot.' But Zell pressed a finger against my lips, smiling that gorgeous boyish smile that made me go weak in the knees.

"Sally, that was just to help," he reminded. Then he drew me close, lightly kissing my forehead. "But you didn't need any help." And then each eye. "You got there by yourself." And then kissed my mouth so softly that I thought I only imagined it, inviting the intensity of emotion that I craved.

Making me forget everything but Zell and how he made me feel safe.

How he made me feel… more.

And for that fraction of an instant I wasn't afraid, I grabbed it with both hands and went along, pressing myself closer to the man I loved more than anything else and then letting him lead me to that safe place beyond the guilt and fear.

Where I just loved him.

***

I shifted positions, reaching an arm out-- and not feeling Sally beside me. I pushed up and looked out the window to gauge the time. The moon's position made it about two. Hm. Looking to the bathroom, the door wasn't closed and the light wasn't on. Hmm.

I kicked the covers back and grabbed up my robe, the snazzy dark blue one, slipping into it to tie the belt into a half knot. When I looked across the hall to the kitchenette and the galley, she wasn't there either. Hmm. Scrubbing at the back of my neck, I made my way on deck, slowly cresting the stairs as I looked around and tried to find- She sat at the bow wearing her pale-pink, satin pajamas that I had given her as a honeymoon gift. They had long pants, long-sleeves, and a long robe.

Before I knew about the pink teddy.

I stepped on deck and made my way toward her. She didn't hear me come, though. She just continued to sit with her knees up to her chest, arms tight around them, and staring out at the water. She didn't look sad, at least not that I could tell, but I didn't like not knowing what to call the expression on her face.

Not only that, I thought we'd dealt with the stress thing.

I lowered myself down beside her, meeting her small smile with a small one of my own. "Hey, kitten. Couldn't sleep?"

Sally didn't say anything. She only shook her head and then looked back out at the water, releasing a soft sigh that gave me the prickles again. …the hell? Then she scooted a little closer, tucking her legs to her side as she snuggled against me, her arms around my middle.

I stared down at the crown of her head for a long time before shifting my focus out to the water and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It wasn't the bikinis, was it?" I asked quietly.

Sally sighed before very slightly shaking her head.

Dammit, Dincht. See what happens when you jump to conclusions! I landed in a shit pile. I let out a quick breath. "Is it something we can talk about?"

This time she didn't shake her head, and I could swear that I felt her jaw moving as she worried her lower lip.

"Sally, what's wrong?" I prompted carefully.

And I hoped to Hyne that it hadn't been because of me wanting her so bad and so often. I mean, dude, she was an intense person, yeah, but… come on! This was 'beach bunny'!

She finally whispered, "I don't know how to say it," in a voice hinting at tears.

Just like before.

Dincht! You jerk-off! What did you do?! "Sally…" I lowered my eyes to the crown of her head, but she'd only ducked it down a little more. She only ever did that when she was mega-embarrassed, and the only other time I'd ever seen her like this had… been… Winhill? I swallowed hard. Oh boy.

At Winhill Sally had confessed to not wanting to stop when the kissing had almost flared out of control. She'd confessed that if I hadn't stepped back, she wouldn't have said another 'No'. After so many damned awesome nights and mornings together… Yeah. Yeah, I knew exactly what was wrong.

My insides jerked into a tight wad of guilt. You prick! It's been too much too soon… And now I felt like a damned freak. Only, how did I talk to Sally about something like… like sex?

I let out a quick breath. "I'm sorry, Sally. I…" I scrubbed at my scalp. Sorry for thinking her the sexiest thing on the planet? Sorry for wanting her? Like hell. But sorry for twisting her up in knots? Yeah. Definitely.

"It's not you, Zell," she told me, voice as soft as I had ever heard it.

And I didn't get why she wanted to take the blame for whatever it was that was beating at her. Sally… Why do you do this to yourself? I released a soft breath. "Sally, kitten, it's you and me, like I said before. If one of us has an issue, both have an issue." And I kinda sounded like Sally, which made me feel great.

But when she didn't say anything more, I didn't feel so great. I felt… helpless, and I hated that worse than I hated not being able to protect people.

She sniffed, brushing at her cheek and what I knew to be tears, and twisted the dagger of guilt the other direction. "Geez, Sally, I… I'm sorry. I knew I shoulda given you your week, but I couldn't help myself. You know how I feel about you, and then with the whole way you were kissing me and saying my name like that, I couldn't stop myself then either. I didn't mean to make you feel bad or whatever. I wouldn't do anything like that on purpose, I just didn't know I was going to go like that."

And the way I was gushing made me feel like a real loser.

But when she tightened her arms around me and shook her head, a second sniff even louder, I shut up real quick.

"I-It's not y-you," she said again.

"But it is." I couldn't take not seeing her face anymore, so I took hold of her arms and gently but firmly pressed her back away from me. She kept her face lowered. "Sally, it is me. If something's twisting you up inside, then I'm in that."

I tilted her chin up, but she closed her eyes. And I hated this free-fall feeling, not knowing what to say because I wasn't so sure I knew what the problem was…. I just knew it had something to do with finally being able to make love to her.

Sally finally opened her eyes, tears dropping immediately down her cheeks. Seeing her cry this time choked me up so bad it hurt.

"Dammit, Sally," I said gruffly, "You're my wife. How can I not be in this?"

She did one of those sob-hiccups, which made me feel a complete schmuck, and pulled me into a tight embrace to sob into my neck. I'd never felt twisted up like this before, pulled in 100 different directions so hard I felt like I was going to rip… I tightened my arms around her, not knowing what to say to get her to let me carry whatever was tearing her to pieces.

"It's not fair," she choked between sobs. "All I can think about is what it feels like to be close to you and how you touch me and how that feels and how I like it and want it more… and then I feel guilty because that's all I think about and see in my head… Like I'm some kind of freak or something… I know it's okay for me to want you like that because we love each other and we're married but then I feel bad because I don't want to do anything else but feel you against me and kissing me and… and…" Her voice broke off.

And what the hell could I have said to make her feel better? She had basically explained me for the past nine months. I could only hold her closer, kissing her hair and whispering, "I know, Sally. I know," while hoping something like a bolt of genius would hit me smack between the eyes.

"I want you to say something miraculously insightful to chase all the guilt away," she confessed in a cracked voice, "but I know you can't. Just like I know it's okay for me to want you as much as I do. That it's normal." She sounded a double-hiccup of tears. "That isn't the problem. The problem is in my head. My stupid programming of modesty and moderation! Of not letting things control me!" Another hiccup, this one a triple that made my insides hurt. "That stupid control that saved our relationship is making my life miserable!"

After another few choked sobs, she pushed back and held my pained gaze. "I love you, Zell," she choked out. "I love how I feel when you touch me. How I feel I'm the most beautiful person on the planet when you kiss me. How I don't worry about whether my legs are too short or if my birthmark looks weird when you look at me without a stitch on…" She sniffled, shaking her head as she lowered her face. "I just… I'm just so …scared of how much I feel, and how different it is than what I expected. I… I'm used to…"

I tenderly brushed some tears from her cheek. "You're used to being my shy girl…"

She choked out an "Uh-huh," while slightly nodding.

"Sally…" I let out a deep breath. "Sally, you're still my 'shy girl'. You only didn't know you were 'sexy girl', too."

She sniffled. "…but…"

"But what?"

Sally sniffled again, and this time it had more tears in it. "But you fell in love with 'shy girl', and… and now I…"

When she didn't look up, I held her face in my hands and tilted it gently up. Then I smiled at her. "You think you shocked my boxers off?"

She very slightly nodded.

"Damn straight you did, and I've loved every minute of it. I knew you were sexy and fun all this time, when kissing you could light my hair on fire? Booya!" She flushed crimson and looked down. My smile softened and I lightly kissed her, drawing her eyes. "We'll get through this, kitten. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere. We'll take it how you need to. Slow. Fast. Whatever. You just gotta talk to me."

Sniffling, Sally nodded the same time she whispered a choked, "Okay."

"Now stop crying, Sally," I pleaded as I drew her close. "Please. You're wrecking me."

She nodded again, holding me tight as she whispered, "I didn't know I could love someone this much, Zell."

And, man, did that make me see stars. Why? No one had ever said something like that to me before. Sally was… She was a whole new world for me. One that freaked me out the same time it gave me a rush.

Sally suddenly shivered, and I noticed the temperature had dropped pretty fast. Which usually meant rain. I stood, helping her to her feet. "Come on, Meg. Let's get below-deck. I think the sky's going to start spitting at us."

So, drawing her tight against my side, I led her below. Every step closer to the bedroom, the more tense she got. Well, I guess the first thing we do is get her to stop being afraid of the bedroom. I gave her a jostle and sent her an 'It's okay,' smile when she hesitantly peeked up at me.

The fact that she wanted me so much and so often made me feel a whole helluva lot better!

"Here. You slip in here while I get another blanket from the closet. I think I saw a comforter in there."

So while I got the comforter from the closet by her dresser, she slipped out of her robe and crawled under the covers. When I came back, comforter in hand, she looked about as cute and hot as ever as she twirled her wedding band around her finger while worrying her lower lip. I know, kitten. I'm feeling it, too. I mean, duh! If it were up to me, we'd stay anchored and in our nothings the entire honeymoon!

I went around to my side, sending her another smile when she glanced my way, and crawled up next to her, adjusting the extra comforter over the both of us. That done, I laid back into the pillows and sent her my most charming smile. Did I have a charming smile? I certainly hoped so.

"Wanna 'smotha lova' your honey?" What made me say it I have no idea, but she giggled, flushing three shades of crimson as she nodded and then snuggled close.

She sighed deep. "All this time I was trying so hard to give you your honeymoon, and now…" She sighed again. "How do I 'just do it', Zell? I don't know how. I… I'm so afraid that you're going to look at me like I'm some horrible person."

"I don't, Sally," I assured her softly, stroking her hair, "and I won't. Ever."

"…promise?"

"Promise."

Sally released a long breath and then snuggled closer, kissing my chest and whispering, "I love you so much, Zellander Hosia Dincht."

"I love you, too, Sally Elizabeth Dincht."

And there I lay, smiling at the ceiling of the master cabin while stroking her hair and feeling as if I ruled the world. Why? Because I kept thinking that I had to be the luckiest dog on the planet. My wife was the Mega-Phoenix, and she wanted me. Booya? No, no, no. Booya wouldn't ever cover this thing anymore.

This was Mega. Yeah. Mega mega.