Salut, mes amis!

Now, I know I'm late by a day or two... but I had a busy weekend. Two parties and then I spent most of yesterday recovering -- if you know what I mean.

Anyway... I got this chapter done as soon as I could -- sacrificing some much needed homework time, too -- so that y'all could get some reading done. We all know how important it is to read!

Almost as important as reviewing. Hint.

Now, I suppose I'll get a move on and let you get to reading.

(OH! I thought I'd mention this in regards to how much I love all of you -- I got over 1000 hits in FIVE hours for the last chapter... I declare you all my belated Valentines)

To my 114 Fierce bitches, I salute you.

Disclaimer: Nothing is to me, like Twilight is to Stephenie Meyer. I don't own shit.

EPOV:

Don't get me wrong or anything… James really is my go-to guy and all, but it's times like this where I wish he didn't talk so much. I know that's why he gets along with Bella so well, but… really, I've never heard a bro dish his feelings so easily.

I leaned back onto my bed and rested my hands behind my head. James sat staring at me for a few moments before I gestured for him to move this shit on.

"Woah, calm down, Cullen," he laughed, "can't a guy talk about his shit every once in a while?"

"It would help if the guy was actually saying something, wouldn't it?" I flashed my fakest grin at him – earning a pillow to the face.

"Wow, James, you're becoming more of a bitch by the second, eh? First, it's all 'oh, my god! Cullen, let's have a sleepover and talk about our feelings' and now it's 'pillow fight!'" I threw my jazz hands out in the air for a second before punching him in the shoulder.

Of course, I punched a little harder than I was intending… but the fucker deserved it for cockblocking me.

"Actually, Edward, the girly slumber party was your idea, remember? I've been sitting here waiting for you to bust out some chick flicks."

We laughed a little before settling into an awkward silence. I mean awkward. I squirmed around on the bed a little, willing for him to start talking so that I can roll over and sleep.

You know how it is; I figured he'd probably get pissy if I passed out right now.

James cleared his throat, "Uh, so… I guess I should start talking. Shit, ecstasy really does fuck-all when it comes to heart-to-hearts, huh."

There was a strange edge to his voice. Nerves?

"Man, my night was fucking unreal, eh? I did like five keg-stands with Emmett and Mike came and smoked a bowl with me. That douche was talking about some kiss like he'd never had one before… I didn't catch who the unlucky girl was, but fuck was he ever riled up about that shit." James rolled off the bed, laughing, before making his way over to my dresser.

He pulled out a pair of pyjama bottoms and held them up for my approval.

Whatever, he may as well make himself comfortable. Maybe that will get him to cut the shit and get to the fucking point already.

I rubbed my eyes and propped myself up on my elbows.

James had stripped off his shirt and was checking himself out in the mirror. Flexing and whatnot.

"No matter how long you stare at yourself, James, you'll always be ugly as ass," I said with a smile before flopping back on my bed.

"Oh, Cullen," he sneered while pulling up a chair at the end of the bed, "I bet Bella would disagree with you."

… What the fuck?

"How the hell did she come into all this?"

"Calm down, Edward. I'm just stating the obvious that Bella wants to get on my shit," he laughed.

I think I know someone's shit that Bella wanted to get on just hours ago…

Of course, James continued on, "She's hot, eh? Small enough that you could toss her around a little but she's feisty enough that she'd be a challenge. And her chest. Don't tell me you haven't noticed those assets, man. Fuck, and her attitude, too… I bet she likes some real dirty shit."

Needless to say, I was getting pretty fucking angry hearing him talk about Bella like that. I mean, sure, I've talked like that about various bitches, but Bella is his friend and my… friend with benefits?

I sat up on my bed to glare at James.

"Dude," I hissed through my teeth, "Cut. To. Your. Fucking. Point."

James ran a hand over his hair and pulled on his cheeks before finally resting his hands on his stomach.

"Jeez, you'd think you'd be a little more chipper due to the E and the fact you just got some pussy…," he began, "well, I guess… I need your opinion on something."

"And that would be?"

James' cheeks reddened a bit and he sighed, "I need you to get Bella to like me."

I think I fell off my bed.

I looked around me…

Yep, I did. Rolled right off of that motherfucker.

I popped my head up over the side, "T-that's not an opinion…"

"I know, I know, man… but I guess I didn't know how to word my shit right and – fuck, I want Bella so bad."

I am the lowest piece of shit on the planet. I could tell James had a thing for Bella – albeit physically – but I just hooked up with her. And…

Well…

I don't plan on stopping any time soon, either.

"O-oh, uh… I don't think I'm the best person to help," I mumbled, running my hands through my hair.

Fuck.

"Sure you are, man. You're my number one bro. Besides, you're closest with Bella, other than Jasper – and we all know I can't go ask him to help a brother out."

"Why can't you ask him?" Anyone would be better than me…

"Because he's fucked her! He's gotta still want that shit for himself. Actually, I think he's kind of wheeling Alice… but I bet he's still getting some on the side, you know what I'm saying?"

Oh, jesus, I knew what he was saying, alright.

I knew I wasn't going to give Bella up to James… and I definitely wasn't planning on helping him out, either. Luckily James is oblivious to life, because I'm going to have to do what I used to only do to my women…

Play James.

BPOV:

I hate Mondays. I vote we banish them from the calendar.

Be gone, fee fi fo fum.

They won't even know what hit 'em.

"I'm not even going to ask what you're doing, Bells," chuckled Charlie. How he could be such a morning person always baffled me.

I ripped my eyes away from the calendar I was scratching apart on the kitchen table – next to my stellar bowl of Fruit Loops.

"Ah, yes, Charlie… just the father I was looking for," I said sweetly.

"Oh, were all of your other fathers busy?"

Clearly I don't get my witty-as-fuck sense of humour from his side of the family…

"… Right. Anywho, I've got a brilliant proposition for you! I think that you should let me skip school."

"No, Bella. You haven't even been at the Academy for a complete week yet. I'm sure you've got to have some work to catch up on."

"Charles, we all know that I don't do Mondays. I hate them. Please, just this once. I swear I'm still hung-over from Friday. Do you want me to puke all over Forks Academy? That would be child abuse."

Jasper dragged himself into the kitchen to join the fruitful conversation.

"Personally, I think it'd be funny to see you puke all over the Academy. Send her, man," Jasper smiled.

Jasper and Charlie bumped fists before turning to nod and laugh at me, respectively.

"You're going. I've gotta act like a father every once in a while, Bells."

Well, shit. There went my not-so-well-formed plan.

I slowly turned my attention to Jasper who was smiling smugly at me.

"If I have to go to school, you have to go to school. Besides, I could use the distraction of having you bitching at my side," Jasper sighed.

I groaned, "Fuck, Whitlock. What the hell is up with you, lately? You've hardly been talking to anyone – let alone leaving your room. Are you getting all emotional on me, or something? 'Cause I don't think I can handle hearing whiny ballads floating through the house,"

I tapped the wall behind me,

"Thin walls, Jasp. Thin walls."

"Shove it, Swan," he hissed. He grabbed his backpack and stormed out the front door.

Oh, no he did not.

Fierce bitch #1 just drove off… without me.

I parked my Audi beside Jasper's Charger and headed inside.

In all honesty, I was a little miffed that Jasper would force me to go to school and then leave without me. Sure, I understand he's all wounded and brooding due to some unknown factor right now, but does that mean that he can't fit in any Bella time?

Apparently, it does.

I stared at my locker for five minutes, debating whether or not to go to English. On the one hand, Jasper needs some time alone. On the other, this is my education we're talking about. The one he seemed to care so much about this morning. You know, when he forced me to come to this hell hole.

I grabbed my books and headed off to class – preparing to face Jasper's silent treatment. Fortunately, I knew that he would come to me when he was ready – to talk about whatever was up his ass lately.

My pace began to slow as I thought over Friday night. Obviously whatever is wrong with Jasper happened at Mike's, but what? From what I'd seen of him earlier that night, he and Alice had been hitting shit off pretty well. Maybe he got cockblocked?

… Cockblocked.

I stopped walking.

Edward.

How the FUCK could I forget that I hooked up with him?!

I slapped my wrist lightly. I felt so ungrateful! Basically taking a trip with Edward (in more ways than one) to Pleasuretown – riding the rainbows and unicorns, only to forget it!?

A smile found its way onto my lips and I found myself laughing lightly as the bits and pieces of the night came back to me. I even started doing a little dance.

"I'm the world's greatest," I sang, "sex-bomb, sex-bomb."

Looking around me while dancing, I noticed that I was alone (thankfully.) Which also meant that I was late for class. Which also meant that I wouldn't have the chance to talk to Jasper before class started… obviously.

I adjusted my skirt and tie before taking a step in the direction of my class.

"You know, I always seem to catch you at the worst moments, eh?"

My books went flying as I whipped around screaming.

Sex-Pot. You devil, you.

"For fuck's sake, Edwardo, I've said it before and I'll fucking say it again – I need to buy you a bell."

Edward pushed himself off of the row of lockers he was leaning on and made his way over to my books. He picked them up and placed them in his messenger bag.

Oh, hot damn. He looked extra fine today. I let my eyes rake over his body a few times – taking in the ensemble. Sure, every guy was wearing the same shirt, tie and pants… but only Sex-Pot could make them look sexy. Jasper simply made it look hot. Not sexy.

He had a smug look on his face at the moment, but I could tell that he looked brighter. He had his pants hanging lower than acceptable, while his shirt was busy making love to his chest muscles.

Those sexy, sexy chest muscles that I've felt, licked and—

"Did I scare you?" Edward asked while chuckling lightly.

"Oh, no, not at all! I mean, doesn't everyone in Forks scream and chuck their books across the hallway randomly?"

"Only when I walk by." He winked.

The wink of doom.

"Righto. Anyway, I guess that I'll need my extremely interesting text-books back so I can go to my even more interesting class," I mumbled while reaching toward his bag.

He slapped my hand away and grabbed my waist, dragging me down the hallway.

"Actually, we're not going to school today, Bella," he said distractedly.

Let me run through the things that Edward has proven to be so far:

Sex-Pot, check.

King of the town, check.

Cum-master, check.

Knight in shining armour, check.

I tried pathetically to protest and actually give two-hoots that I was going to be missing my classes – which made Edward laugh hysterically, and have to let go of my waist to hold his sides.

"Oh, wow, Bella – is that my gut all over the wall? Because you just made me bust one," I punched him in the arm before throwing my arm around his waist, "but actually, we're going back to my house for the day."

I looked up at him as we passed through the doors into the parking lot, "Ow, ow! Edward! Taking me home? You gotta buy me a drink first."

I tried to wink dramatically but failed, of course.

"Good one, Swan," he said sarcastically, "you're coming to assist me in the removal of a certain gnome that has set up habitat in my bedroom. Not even her bedroom."

We stopped in front of his car and he paused his speech to open the car door for me – which, needless to say, made me die a little.

"So," he said once he was in the driver's seat and backing out of the lot, "you're going to go in there and find out what her deal is. Usually she'd tell me, but she insists that I 'don't want to know'. Then, you'll extract her from my room and send her off to school."

Ah, ah, ah! Did he think I wouldn't catch that little bit at the end?

I crossed my legs seductively and looked over to gauge his reaction. His smug smile faltered for a second.

"I guess I'll go back to school with her, then," I sighed dramatically, "I mean… you implied that this would take all day – but if not, then I don't want to be a bad student."

Edward cleared his throat a little, "Well, I thought we could spend the rest of the day… together?"

Psh, he would make it sound like I had an option. Hmm, tough decision – spend the day with Sex-Pot or go back to the Academy and get oogled by my creepy French teacher…

"Sounds fierce, baby boy."

He smiled and we pulled into the Cullen's driveway.

"Oh, before I forget, Bella," Edward whispered while undoing my seatbelt – letting his hands linger, "don't tell James about this."

He got out of the car then and made his way over to my side. I, however, hardly noticed the door opening because of the fog of my confusion.

Why couldn't I tell James? I told James everything. True, it would be a bit awkward telling him about Edward and all the dirty details…

I made sure to flash a little more than necessary to Sex-Pot as I climbed out of the car and walked into their beautiful house. Very classic – white wood with a wrap around balcony.

"Fuck, your house is epic," I stated, "it's beautiful! It's so homey."

I noticed a blur of light brown hair poke out of a room in front of me. I then realized that it wasn't a blur, it was possibly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She had barrel curls that reached just below her shoulders and a smile that could break a heart.

Seriously, I could almost feel my heart breaking.

"Hello, dear," the woman said as she made her way towards me, "I'm Esme, Edward's mother."

My jaw dropped and I glanced between the two. I definitely knew where Edward, Alice and Emmett got their looks from.

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen, I'm Bella Swan – I'm Alice's, Emmett's and," I hesitated, "Edward's friend. I hear she needs someone other than her brother to confide in, at the moment, so I'm here to help!"

Yep, I've still got the parental charm – works every time. Esme gleamed down at me – she was a few inches taller – and wrapped me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, bless your little heart! Alice has been in such a mood lately! Ever since the kids got back from that party at the Newton's, she has hardly left her room—,"

Edward interrupted, "You mean my room, Mom…"

"Yes, yes, dear. We all know you need your space," Esme returned her attention to me, "Oh, he's so anti-social sometimes, Bella. You know he picked the room in the basement just so he could avoid having to socialize?"

I had to laugh at that – Sex-Pot seemed pretty fond of socializing, in my opinion… Oh. OH! Shit, he's clever.

"I'll bet that's why he picked it," I said with an accusing smile in Edward's direction. He elbowed me in the side.

"WELL! Mom, not that this hasn't been fan-fucking-tastic or anything, but I want that raccoon out of my room and Bella's going to go get it out. Okay? Have fun at work," he said, placing a kiss on Esme's head and ushering me down the stairs.

I paused and turned back toward Esme, "It was really lovely to meet you, Esme! I hope I'll see you soon!"

"Oh, dear, I have a feeling I'll be seeing you quite often!" Esme laughed musically.

We made it to the bottom of the winding stairs and into a round hallway lined with about eight doors.

Edward laced his fingers through mine delicately before leading me through the door across from the stairs.

"You act so differently in public, eh?" Edward noted, "I've never seen… well, anyone be so polite to an adult."

I leaned into his side since the dark hallway was a little narrow, "I'm actually quite the parent-charmer. Your mother is gorgeous, by the way."

"Good luck with my dad, then. He'll be tough to crack," he added before finally reaching another door – which I assumed to be his room – and pounded roughly on the frame,

"Alice, Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Room!"

Silence.

"Fuck, seriously. Get out!"

"Just leave me here to die, Edward," was her muffled response.

Edward glanced down at me and motioned with his eyes for me to go in.

I sighed and pushed him out of the way to get to the doorknob.

I let myself in and made my way over to the bed where Alice lay with her head buried in Edward's pillow.

"Edward, seriously, I don't want to talk right now," she groaned.

"Oh, quite the contrary, dear Alice. I believe that you're just itchin' to talk about your fabulous problems or else you wouldn't be camping out in your brother's room, you little attention whore," I said while patting the top of her head.

She turned her head to look up at me and a smile grew more pronounced as she realized who the fuck was talking to her.

"Bella! Oh, thank god. I need to talk to you so badly. I was hoping that Edward would bring you back here – well, not hoping, I guess, since I knew he would. Okay," she adjusted her position so she was sitting cross-legged in front of me, "… wait, hold on."

She hopped off the bed and ran to the door. In one swift motion, she flung the door open and Edward fell into the room.

As well, I rolled off the bed in a fit of laughter.

"Edward! Don't eavesdrop! Go watch a movie or something – I'll get Bella to meet you in the theatre when we're done. Now get out, bitch!"

Sex-Pot stood up, rubbing his head where it smacked on the hardwood, and made his way down the hall. Alice waited until she heard a series of doors slamming.

"Okay," she said, turning back to me, "it's about… Jasper."

I crawled back onto the bed and fixed my hair. I leaned back and got myself comfortable – noticing that the room smelled just like Edward.

"Whitlock? Shoot,"

"Alright… so, um… fuck, Bella, I don't know where to start."

"The beginning would be nice."

"Well, there are technically two beginnings?"

"That makes a shitload of sense, Alice,"

"Okay, um, see, a few years ago… I was adopted into this family,"

"What the fuck? But you look exactly like Emmett – well, without the curly hair and you have Edward's eyes. I mean, seriously, I was basically convinced that Edward was adopted."

Alice laughed a little before her expression faltered and she exhaled heavily.

"No, no. It's me. Emmett and Edward are twins – somehow, I don't know. Well, I guess it's basic biology as to how but… oh, you know what I mean. So, I was adopted because my mother and father divorced – messily, of course – and neither one of them wanted to care for me. They put me up for adoption instead."

I opened and closed my mouth a few times – trying to find my words,

"I know, they're bitches," she laughed.

Shit, she took the words right out of my mouth.

"I guess I've developed some emotional issues – a phobia of affection, maybe. I just can't seem to let many people in, I don't particularly like compliments and such, and… well, I don't believe in love. Edward's been great at helping me understand that not everyone breaks bonds like my parents did – he's seriously like the brother I never had.

"And that brings us to now. With Jasper. Ever since day one, he kind of wormed his way into my mind. I can't stop thinking about him… and, uh, on Friday…,"

I leaned in, urging her to continue.

"… We hooked up," she said in a small voice.

I jumped off the bed, "Lord almighty! I knew it! I knew it!" I clapped my hands furiously and began dancing around the room.

Alice stared at me like a deer-in-headlights,

"Wh-what? You mean you're not mad?"

I stopped my dance number and made my way over to Alice, patting her shoulder.

"No fucking way, baby girl. That boy has had you on his mind since we got here."

"It just sucks, though, Bella! I want to be close to him, but I'm too afraid. I don't want a broken heart – I won't be able to handle it! But he's so diff—,"

I held up my hand, "Wait… is this why Jasper's been acting so depressed? What did you say to him?"

"I-I, nothing! I didn't say anything! I mean, he was about to say something when Rose called me and I had to go… but other than that, nothing."

I nodded my head and she rubbed her face,

"Why, Bella? Is he okay?"

"He's just been acting like an emo kid. Listen, go to school and talk it out with him, Alice. He'll understand – he's in a similar situation. Go."

She nodded and sprung off the bed, bouncing out the door with a contagious smile before leaning back into the room.

"Oh, Bella… the theatre is the door to the left of the stairs," she giggled.

"Hey, Alice," I stuck up my middle finger with a mocking smile on my face, "your brother's fucking hot."

I waited in Edward's room until I heard her laughter fade. I stepped out into the corridor and made my way back to the circular room.

Door on the left.

I turned the knob and could hear the faint bass of a movie. My phone rang just as I stepped into the dark room.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Bella?"

My eyes grew wide at the same time I was pressed into the wall by Edward.

"Bella, where the fuck are you?"

Edward kissed me furiously and I couldn't help but moan into the phone.

Realizing what I had just done, I snapped the phone shut.

Edward pulled away quickly, "Who was that?"

I could see his emerald eyes peering into mine as I stared at him blankly.

"James."

Om nom nom nom.

Longest chapter yet, not that you care.

Now... review to make me happy, pleaasee? I want to hopefully get to 124?