Disclaimer: Neither the Maximum Ride books or its characters belong to us

Disclaimer: Neither the Maximum Ride books or its characters belong to us. All of that belongs only to the amazing James Patterson. So please don't sue us. We aren't copywriting. PROMISE!

(A/N) Yo, readers! Thanks so very much for tuning in to the third chapter in this story! It's really amazing you've not gone insane already….But! Since I still do not want to invoke the wrath of our readers…..This story is, basically, ways to annoy all the members of the flock. And then some. Via Max. Ya still got that guys? And by the way, please visit us at: writersworld-fanfic./ I'm going to keep persisting with this webpage. So just visit it! If you check out our profile, you'll find the actual link. The one you can CLICK! And, ya know, I guess you should enjoy the chapter and whatnot.

Fifteen ways to Annoy Jeb!

These may not be as funny, but I certainly enjoyed it. And if you think these are "mean," I implore you. Live life as an expieriment.

1. Tell him you will never, under any circumstances, be his daughter.

Let him have the DNA test done.

It won't change a thing.

Ever.

SO HA!

2. Point and laugh again.

3. Take him to a counseling class with Ari. (note: this is a PRO Ari activity, so do so BEFORE you're mean to Ari, thus making the rejection up to ten times more painful!)

Make Nudge be the Sensei.

4. Replace Nudge with a pro after they take all the Tylenols in the area. Pay off the therapist to tell him he's a horrible person. Make a recording of it. Show it to Mom, saying "See! It's not just me!"

5. Anytime he pisses you off, simply remind him he can make as many of you as he pleases, as long as he cleans up after himself. Run away looking dejected.

6. Then, make him beg to be forgiven when he catches you "crying"

Or laughing. Which ever is easier to muster.

I'd guess laughter.

7. Lean over him as he's working. Make a snide remark. Suggestions are: "Designing another Ari? Yeah, I mean, you're not getting any women around here, are ya, oldster? Checked the senior home?" or "Getting a little thin on top there, Jeb?"

8. Get him hair thickening surgery.

9. Laugh when he's stuck with all those needles! Say "See what it feels like? Who's laughing now? ME!"

10. Spread hair thickener on his back. Hand him Fang with a razor (have you all SEEN his past attempts? It's like the emo's spread to his chin!). Enjoy.

Immensely.

11. Restrain him. Forcibly place a Valium Mask on him. Give up to three times more than the designated amount to him, and watch him go crazy! Well, crazier.

12. Fill out an application for a nursing home. Or a hospice. Go up to him, hand him the form, and say "I just need your signature here."

Run.

13. Make his gold card "mysteriously" disappear. Buy stuff. Like, XXL underwear and bras. Have them delivered to him directly. Just "happen to be around" when this happens. Widen eyes. Say: "Jeb! I had no idea you were THAT kind of guy!" Run away screaming.

For added fun? Say: "What if THAT kind of behavior rubs off on Fang?"

14. Schedule him a skydiving class. Tell him it's a sightseeing trip. Push him from helicopter. Circle him as he falls. Scream, "Now you know what it's like to fly!" Fly back up to helicoptor. Turn to instructor. Listen for splat. "Klutzy little, thing, ain't he?"

Soar away laughing.

15. Place arm around Jeb. Pat his shoulder. Kiss his cheek. Do ANYTHING friendly. Then say: "Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't hate you? These things could all be yours if... you die."

Make sure you hurt his feelings.

We are now going to take the time to thank our freakin' awesome reviewers.

They are…..Shazza-Girl (The very first) SadDesire'15, laddie girl, cal 24, and EnergyAngel (Who actually reviewed twice! And they were both nice)

Thank you, fellow hatred lovers!

Max!