O hai!

Well, I obviously wanted to post this on time, but, as you all know, the website was down and I figured that I might as well just post it the week after since y'all would be doing homework and shit.

So, um, I don't know if you guys know that I got quite a few reviews for the last chapter? Holla. I did. SO, you guys can make that magic happen again. Why? Because, well, I love it. It's like… my drug.

FanFiction… my anti-drug.

I'm posting this tonight instead of my usual Saturday/Sunday due to the fact I've got the most impressive amount of homework I've had all year. All due next week, of course. AND I'm going out tonight, and tomorrow night -- so it was the only time I really could! Here's to hoping some of you are at home on this wonderful Friday evening?

Anywho, on with the show.

To my 146 Fierce bitches, I salute you.

Disclaimer: I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me. I wish I owned Twilight.


EPOV:

Beautiful. B-e-a-uitiful. This would happen to me.

I had a strange feeling before – well, two strange feelings in this case, if you catch my drift – that this wasn't going to be easy for me.

I stared at Bella for a moment before looking toward the door and tugging on the hair at the nape of my neck. I shuffled my feet in frustration and shoved my hands in my back pockets.

"Fuck," I sighed.

Bella's little hand found my jaw and she forcefully turned my face to meet her eyes. Her big brown ones searched mine for something. She dropped her claws once she started to speak.

"Don't even worry about it. James was probably just calling because we usually spend this spare period together. Yeah, yeah, he'll be kind of confused about the moan—,"

"I'm sure he won't be that confused once he puts two and two together…," I mumbled, struggling to think of a fucking idea.

Then it hit me. I was supposed to be paying games with him, right? Well, let the Olympics begin, man.

Bella had rambled off on a tangent about how she was "abso-fucking-lutely" positive that James was probably going to have a million questions for her – but that she'd never admit that it was me making her moan.

Huh, I liked the sound of that – Bella moaning because of me. Fuckin' right.

"Uh, hey, you know what, Bella?" I placed my hand on the small of her back and began guiding her toward the seating area, "I'm going to go… get us some popcorn and shit. You can pick the movie."

She twisted around in my arms, fluffing her hair.

"You mean you put on Fight Club and don't want to finish it?"

I totally wanted to finish it. It's one of my favourite movies. I just didn't want her oogling Brad Pitt instead of me…

"Nah. I was just watching it to pass time while you shot-your-shit with Alice. So… yeah, time's ticking. You – pick movie. Me – get popcorn," I said as I gently pushed her down onto one of the couches. I didn't mean to be so… rude with her but I needed to get out of there A.S.A.P.

I turned on my heel and basically flew out the door into the hallway. I bolted up the stairs and into the kitchen – obviously, I was actually going to have to make some popcorn to keep up appearances. I ripped into the box of popcorn and chucked a bag into the microwave – hitting the first time setting I could.

"Phone, phone, phone…," I chanted as I searched all of my pockets for my cell-phone, "where the fuck is it?!"

Pant pockets… no luck.

Shirt pocket… nope.

"Ughh…," I screamed, jumping up and down, "FUCK MY LIFE!"

I mean, come on, this was almost a life-or-death situation. In all seriousness, if James found out and then decided to scrap me – well, I'd be dead in a second.

What? Have you seen his arms? He's like a mini-Emmett, but leaner!

I ran out of the kitchen, ignoring the annoying beeping from the microwave, and into the foyer. I spun around in a circle before patting down my pockets again.

The car. It had to be in the car.

I booked it out the front door – not even bothering to shut it – and over to my car. My foot caught in one of the grooves in the driveway just as I was opening the car door and I tripped into it, over the console and receiving a nice bruise from the stick-shift.

All in all, it looked like a really bad sitcom.

My eyes, however, opened to the most glorious sight.

My phone.

I fished my keys out from my pocket – without bothering to adjust my position – and turned the car on to the first setting so I could listen to some music. I'd need to calm down before talking to James or he'd be suspicious.

I swear that guy's like fucking Sherlock Holmes.

The music started blasting through the car – though, I wasn't focusing on the song – and I dialled James' number.

"Pick up… pick up… pick—James? Hey, man!"

There was a short silence before James responded, "Cullen? Are you with Alice?"

… Weird question, but whatever floats his boat, "No, why?"

"Why the fuck else would you be listening to that fucking mess of a song, bro?" He grumbled.

I glanced at my dashboard as the song title flashed across the screen and the chorus began to play.

You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you go down, down.

I couldn't have changed the channel any quicker.

"Fuck, dude, I swear I wasn't listening to it… fucking Flo Rida – I mean, who the fuck spells their name like Florida? I bet there are so many people who don't even know—"

"Cullen, what the fuck do you want?" James sounded pissed and a wave of worry crashed over me.

What if he knows? Fuck. Shit. Damn.

"Uh… yeah, right, um… I was just wondering if you've seen Bella today?" I shut my eyes hoping he would play along.

Five whole seconds passed by before he answered, "Nope."

"Oh, uh, 'cause she was supposed to drive Alice to school today and, uh, she didn't. Which, you know, pissed me off because that meant I had to drive her and then, when we got to school, Alice said that Bella's car was there but she wasn't…?"

I finally straightened myself up in the seat and turned off the car – making my way back inside.

"Why does it matter, Cullen? I think she's with Jasper or some shit like that. She sounded like she was having a pretty fucking fantastic time…"

Thank. God.

He was playing along. My ego inflated a little, too. I knew she was having a good time. I'm the master.

"How?"

"Moaning and shit. See, bro? This is why I need your help! I don't want the bitch getting it from the side when she can be having the whole entrée with me."

I winced at that. Not only because it was a fucking disgusting mental picture but because of the fact I'm the one serving her the side-dishes…

I laughed uncomfortably, "Well, I guess you should get your mashed potatoes and gravy and shit ready because she'll, uh… be ready to pounce before you know it."

"Mashed potatoes and gravy?" James asked, clearly confused.

"Entrée, man, you're the entrée," I said before sliding my phone shut.

I exhaled heavily and leaned against the wall to collect myself. I was fucking hyperventilating, for god's sake!

A small laugh escaped me as I thought about how James had the upper-hand right now, even though I was getting what he wanted. Amazing how I, the king of Forks – well, co-King, now, could be reduced to scum when confronted by James. I kind of felt like… the cowardly lion. Exactly like that, actually. Edward "Cowardly Lion" Cullen. A cowardly lion that changes his personalities depending on his surroundings. A cowardly lion that sounds like he could be bi-polar when he words it like that…

… But a cowardly lion that has a beautiful girl downstairs waiting for him and… burnt popcorn in the fucking microwave.

"I don't even fucking like popcorn…," I said as I tore open a new package and tossed it into the microwave.

I started humming the tune to Flo Rida absently as I waited. That song was so shitty, it was catchy. We all know that is a terrible combination.

I tapped the counter anxiously as I watched the seconds tick down, prevented myself from bursting into a bad hip-hop song and rubbed the side of my stomach where I received the battle wound from the stick-shift of my precious Volvo.

BEEP BEEP BE—

I jumped at the sound of the microwave, grabbed the popcorn and flew down the stairs and into the theatre. Obviously, I couldn't wait to see Bella… and the movie she picked, of course.

Yeah. The movie…

I could tell it was Disney from the second I touched the door-knob. Who would have thought that Bella Swan – tough, hot bitch – would be a fan of the Disney movies? As long as it wasn't Cinderella or some bullshit princess movie like that, I could settle.

"Fuckin' right, Herc – you put the glad in gladiator, baby boy," I heard Bella shout at the screen.

I laughed internally as I stood in front of the door where she couldn't see me. Her commentary was pretty hilarious, actually. She'd obviously fast-forwarded the movie to get to what I'm assuming is her favourite song.

I rounded the corner to see Bella dancing away on the couch to the song, pretending there was a microphone in her hand.

"Whose daring deeds are great theatre? HERCULES!" She sang.

"Is he strong?" I laughed. Bella's head snapped toward me as she fell down on the couch.

"There's no one braver. Is he sweet?" She panted, tired from her private show but a smile on her lips since I was… chanting along with her.

I set the popcorn down in front of her and sat down on her right, "Our favourite flavour."

"My, my, Edwardo, I never pegged you for a Hercules fan, either! The Stones, Hercules… what's next?"

I adjusted my shirt a little and smoothed it out, eyeing my hands as Bella dug into the popcorn, "Well, I guess you'll just have to get to know me better."

Her chewing slowed as she processed that, probably picking up on the subtle double meaning. I decided to move on,

"I never thought you would be a fan of the Mouse."

"Hey, come on, this is a classic."

"I think a movie more like… well, Fight Club is what a classic is. In regards to the shitty Disney movies, I guess I'd have to say the ones like Lady and the Tramp are the classics. But Hercules? No."

"You're just jealous of Herc's hot body," Bella said as she threw her head back laughing.

Well, shit. I didn't want her oogling Brad Pitt or Edward Norton… but apparently, Bella has a thing for animated, orange-tinted, headband wearing, disproportionate men.

"Fuck that," I mumbled, staring at the screen, "Emmett looks like that. Did you just indirectly call my twin brother… hot?"

"Oh, please, you know he's a good-looking fellow. It's in your blood," she said distractedly while waving her arms around, "and believe me, I can't wait to see what your father looks like."

"Bella, you're such a charmer, aren't you?" I leaned over and messed up her hair… which I ended up regretting because it looked so. Fucking. Hot. I shifted a little in my seat.

She looked over at me with her messy hair.

Oh. Shit. Sexy eyes. She was eye-fucking me. My will-power was… willingly crumbling.

"Baby boy, if you don't want to watch this movie… put another one on. Fight Club?" She leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Brad Pitt is just so sexy in that one."

Her fingers found their way to my hair. I gulped,

"F-fuck Brad Pitt – he's busy trying to make his own personal soccer team with Angelina Jolie. What are they at, like 8 kids? 9? 30? Who knows?!"

Bella's fingers began to run down my chest… which made me shiver and my pants tighten at the same time.

"Edward," she whispered, "you talk too much when you're nervous. Just be, Edward, just be."

She gently climbed onto my lap, straddling me, and laced her fingers through my hair – massaging. I stared up at her brown eyes. In that moment, I realized I didn't want a "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" kind of deal with Bella. I wanted something real.

I was instantly reminded of our night together on Friday, except the roles were reversed. Oh, and that feeling. It was back.

"The vibrations are back, eh?" I mumbled.

She nodded and started to lean into me. I placed my hand on the back of her neck and brought her face down to mine.

This kiss was… different, to say the least.

Much, much different.

Everything felt so alive for once. The sensations were – man, I sound so girly for saying all this shit – but they were amazing. Everything was so warm, but Bella's lips were the slightest bit cold. I could taste some salt from the popcorn, but nothing else – and that's how it should be. Just pure and natural.

I could tell Bella wanted to speed things up. She began to grind her hips into me but I wanted to show her how I felt – I wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by me.

I twisted our bodies so that she was lying on her back and I was hovering over her, our bodies barely touching. She moaned at the lack of contact and pulled me closer to her.

Then it was my turn to moan.

My dick twitched as I used my knee to spread her legs so I could lie between them. Even still, I kept my kisses soft and loving – trying to convey all of my emotions.

Even if James ended up winning in the end, I would make sure Bella knew how I felt about her. I wanted her to know that I saw past her tough exterior and into her real self.

I knew she didn't really want things to speed up between us, she was too accepting of the pace I was at.

I finally traced her bottom lip and slid my tongue along hers. My hands steered clear of her tits, mainly because I knew the second I touched them… I was a goner.

Besides, this wasn't about that.

I wasn't going to let things get farther than making out, so I kept up the gentle kisses and smooth caresses for a few more minutes before pulling away.

"Edward…," Bella whispered as she sat up.

I shook my head and pointed at the screen.

It's true. Silence is golden.

BPOV:

Well, fuck me. My life plan has now officially been jumbled around thanks to one bronze-haired, green-eyed monster.

I, Bella Swan, had thought I had done everything when it came to sex and drugs – well, okay, that's an exaggeration. But you get my point.

So can you imagine how I felt, sitting in that dark, electricity filled theatre room beside the guy who kissed me for the first time?

My first kiss.

Obviously I'd been kissed before. But not like that. There was underlying fucking meaning to that one! It was… epic. Fierce. Amazing.

Essentially, my mind was reeling.

What began as just a regular ol'hook up – well, at least in my mind – turned into a passionate… declaration of feelings? Is that what it was? I can't be sure.

It felt intimate, that's one thing I'm positive about.

We didn't talk for the rest of the movie; however, I was bold and rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

I'd never done that before, either.

Everything just seemed different from how Jasper and I acted. I wasn't used to it.

After the movie was over, we never mentioned anything about this kiss – yeah, I'd tried to talk to him about it but he wouldn't hear it. Instead, Edward dragged me up the stairs into the kitchen to make lunch.

Joy.

"Okay, Bella, what's your poison?" Sex-Pot asked, holding up a bottle of Coca-Cola and a bottle of water.

"How about some liquor? Yummy," I proposed, completely serious.

It's never too early to start, am I right?

"I'm all for drinking at noon, but it's a Monday. Besides, I'm still hungover from Friday – I have no idea how you can function so well," he walked over to me and knocked one of the bottles on my head, "I could swear you were a robot or something. I mean… you saw that shit in the paper, right?"

He tossed the newspaper at me from the counter.

"You know it's a slow news day when they report on how good a party was – not even caring to mention that it was underage or anything. So, point is… water or Coke – the liquid kind, Bella."

My shoulders sagged in defeat and grabbed the bottle of water from his hand. Edward started grabbing a shit-load of stuff from the pantry, the fridge, the cupboards – no area of the kitchen was left un-violated. I looked around me and noticed he, too, had an iPod dock in his kitchen with an iPod just sitting there, calling for me to push its buttons and set it singing away.

I skipped over to the iPod and scrolled through – it had to be Alice's, most of it was hip-hop. Actually, all of it was hip-hop, rap and bubblegum pop – there wasn't a trace of Mick Jagger up in that bitch. However, there was that new song that had been all over the radio this morning. Even I had to admit that it was pretty fucking catchy. I chose that one and the music started blasting through the speakers.

Edward dropped the bowl he was holding and looked over at me from beside the stove. I guess we both must have registered that this was exactly like Friday night when he played Gimme Shelter.

We both started singing at the same time.

"You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you go down, down."

"I think I heard this song about five times on the radio yesterday," I laughed. I hope he couldn't sense that I was all jumpy because of our… time together downstairs. I tugged on my tie and adjusted my skirt a little.

"Tell me about it, I heard it in my car like an hour ago," he mumbled, rubbing his side absently.

My brow furrowed as I walked over to him, staring at his side, "Why were you in your car?"

I touched his side gently and he winced a little bit.

Jesus, this guy is turning me into such a pansy! What the fuck was I doing?

I lifted his shirt up a little bit and saw some very noticeable bruising. He noticed my confusion and probably knew I was about to jump to conclusions – well, not that I would have cared much if he fought someone… the mental image would have been so fucking hot.

"I fell onto the stick-shift in my car… I was calling James."

"You what?"

"I didn't tell him I was with you. Actually, I did it so he 'knew' I wasn't with you. Trust, I don't need him getting pissy on me. He'd probably chop my dick off…"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh, please. He's too much of a pussy to do that. Anyway, enough about James because if I wanted to be thinking about him right now, I would be over at that hell-hole of a school. So, let's get a move on with our day. Righto?"

I gave Sex-Pot a thumbs-up and moved to his side to help him finish making whatever the fuck was in the pot on the stove.

Edward Cullen.

Sex-Pot.

Edwardo.

… knows how to make quiche.

I never once questioned whether the cum-master was walking on the other side of the line, but I definitely made plenty of cracks at him while he was whisking eggs and chopping some veggies.

I draped a pink apron over him at one point just to emphasize my point while he shouted out various "fuck you" jests.

Eventually, he resorted to being really, really mature – you know, shouting "fuck you" every time I started to speak.

That bitch is amazing, no?

"Se—"

"Fuck you."

"Bu—"

"Fuck you."

"Your quiche was fab, baby boy!" I said in a rush.

He was about to say it again before he registered what I said, "Fuckin' right it was."

"Maybe you're not such a daisy-picker after all."

"I could show you in many, many ways that I've never picked a daisy in my life."

"Ow, ow, Edwardo! Y'always know how to get me worked up," I laughed. I picked up our plates and placed them in the sink.

Sex-Pot's chair scraped across the ground and I heard his footsteps coming closer toward me. I turned around just in time for him to lean in and kiss me softly.

I kind of melted into his arms and the counter, so he lifted me onto it so he could reach me more easily. I wasn't used to just kissing – I felt like my hands had a responsibility to roam around his body and do all sorts of R rated things. However, he seemed content with my hands staying on his shoulders, neck, chest and in his hair. I was just as happy with his hands staying on my neck and waist.

Fucking weird, right?

Lovey-dovey crap.

But it felt good – it was a different kind of sensation.

Not the rush of a desperate, drunken, fucked up hook-up… but a buzz. Like when you're just drunk enough and it feels like everything's going perfectly.

Of course, we all know what happens after that feeling passes. We usually get too drunk and pass out, or we do something we regret. All in all, bad things happen.

But my life is more like an entertaining movie – nothing that boring would happen.

No, the doctor walks in on us instead.

Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. We've got everything you want -- honey, we know the names.

The name is Carlisle. The Good Doctor. The Hot Doctor. The Fantastical Doctor.

Bella and Edward's Excellent Adventures featuring Carlisle.

... I have no idea why I'm still going on and on.

Review, is what my point was eventually going to be...