Sorry, it took so long, but now I'm back on track (sidetracted slightly by Doctor Who/Supernatural crossover "Who Sows the Wind vs the Storm Reaper" - everyone invited:D). Here it goes...
Disclaimer - There's no money or ownership involved - just loooove.
.2. Of swords and screwdrivers
Ace paused at the lakeside, on the shore paved with smooth stones. The water weaved gently, pebbles rattled under his feet. Ace stood at the very edge of a narrow beach; slim, fair-haired, a light-blue tunic over his chain mail, and a black cloak clasped on his shoulder with a fanciful, gold fibula. Letting the wind to cool his sweaty, flushed face, he watched the lake with a triumphant smile.
A faint layer of haze, maybe two foot high, was rising from the water. Lakeside reeds were spearing through its veil like weapons of an invisible army. In the distance, above the water and the wisp of fog, there was a rocky island set against the darkening sky and adorned with a crown of a foreboding castle.
Ace burst into laughter and tapped his tights with his gloved hands.
"Didn't I tell you we were going in the right direction?"
Gold only shrugged. He cautiously put his helmet down on the felled tree trunk. His round face under the chain mail's hood was flushed and gleaming with sweat as well. He took off the hood, wiping his forehead with the back of the hand. He had light-brown hair, now clinging to his neck and temples.
"I prefer the stone version anyway," he said. "We've wasted two hours wandering in the forest. You'll see, we'll run out of credits before we'll manage to play it to the end."
"Geee, stop moaning." Ace pulled an irritated face, looking at Gold over his shoulder. "And stay in the role, will you?"
"How am I supposed to stay in the role? You have picked one person scenario; I don't even know who I am here!"
"Just be glad you're here at all."
"Yeah, I'm glad, your grace, that you deigned to insert me into your bloody fantasy! As a halberdier number three. Cut out in postproduction. These are my bloody credits we're playing for. And it was me who had to get around the software. Without me you'd be stuck in the Fables or in the School."
"Great, I am ever so thankful, and now shut your gob!" Ace turned away angrily, the breast-plate and other elements of his armour clattering.
"You shut your gob! Leech!" With a clang of iron Gold slumped down on the tree trunk, next to his helmet. The pommel of his sword hit the inside of his upper leg. He swore and tried to make himself comfortable.
Ace cleared his throat, faced the lake and opened his arms.
"Eerm... The Lady of the Lake?" he said uncertainly. "It's... It's me... I mean... King Arthur."
„It's me, I mean, King Arthur," Gold, shaking his head, mocked him silently, just mouthing Ace's words. "What a dork! Freak, the High Prince of Freaklandia. The Emperor of Cretinia. Why do I let him take all the leads?"
Regardless of his irritation, he intently watched the lake's surface. Even if the best and, all things considered, the only part fell to Ace again, the moment was fantastic and touched Gold's imagination more than tournaments and battles. He was curious of how the Emporium's supercomputer would develop a simple scheme of their adventure. Emporium's visualisations were unequalled, and when supported by cybernetic genius of Gold, who was slightly tweaking the software, the results were usually terrific.
For a moment all was completely quiet. Even the gentle breeze died out. Then, with a slightest splash, a sword's blade slid out from the mercurial surface of water. A glimpse of steel cut through the haze, which then spiralled into barely visible, subtle vortexes, tangled round the blade.
Gold held his breath. He could see a hilt now; fingers closed around it; an arm wrapped in a glimmering fabric. The Lady of the Lake rising from the depth had silver hair, quicksilver eyes and curves of a perfect hourglass. The cleavage of her dress extended almost to her waist; deep slits revealed her legs, wet fabric telling the rest of the tale.
"O... My... Blimey..." whispered Ace.
"Behold the Excalibur," said the Lady of the Lake in a voice which reverberated in the air and made the skin on both boys' necks tingle with anticipation. She made a tiny step forward. Before she put down her bare foot, colourful stones, coins coated with verdigris, arrowheads, bones whitened by the passage of time, shells, swords and beautiful, decorative shields made of bronze had emerged from the depths of the lake. All those items, tiny and large, shinning and covered with algae, whirled in sunrays breaking through the low clouds. The woman's foot landed on the shimmering, bright pathway made of the lake's treasures.
Gold sighed quietly. Oh, yes, the Emporium was unequalled.
"O... My... Blimey..." Ace repeated. The Lady of the Lake was walking towards him, mist swirling behind her. She paused near the lakeshore. She was a good head taller than Ace.
"Behold the sword of Albion, forged for you, to unite people and lands of the kingdom, o Arthur Pendragon, Forever King, the one who was, is and will always be."
"Eerm... thanks." Ace took the sword from the Lady of the Lake's hands and almost dropped it into the shallow water near the shore, obviously surprised with its weight.
Gold rolled his eyes and puffed irritably through his nose.
"How can I be of service, o Forever King?" asked the Lady.
Of course. Gold could have expected that. As usual his friend's personality dominated over his own quiet admiration. Ace thought of adventures as of his private sexual proving ground. And so, everything ended the same way – a barmaid at the roadside inn – "What may I do to please you, fine master?" – fifteen minutes later satisfied Ace straightens the tunic and slacks; accidentally met pheasant girl walking back from the fields with empty pitchers – "How can I serve, my lord?" – and Ace returns to Gold waiting on the roadside with straws in his tousled hair.
The Lady of the Lake curtsied in front of Ace, exposing bare truth about the depth of her cleavage. The boy swallowed loudly. Even he must have felt that the Lady was something extremely different from all the barmaids and pheasant girls put together.
"Eerm..."
The vision of the Lady elongated, bent, rippled, split into horizontal lines and fell apart. In her place there was a skinny man in a brown, stripy suit, goggling at Ace with wide opened eyes.
"Oi, hello!" yelled the boy, jumping backwards. "That's... not..."
"Yeees." The slim man in the suit knitted his eyebrows, previously lifted high in an expression of surprise. "Sorry. Hi. Do you know what have just happened here?"
He looked behind, then down at his feet, resting on the shimmering path of underwater treasures. He wriggled his bare toes.
"I was..." A vague gesture. "And I am..."
"That's not fair," stammered Ace. "That's completely not fair."
The man shrugged, leaned out from behind Ace and waved his hand towards Gold, still sitting motionlessly on the felled tree trunk, as if bewilderment was a glue bonding his ass with the harsh bark.
"Hello. Sorry. I'll be out of here."
"It's just... just..." sputtered the King that was, is and will always be.
The man pulled black framed glasses from his pocket, put them on his nose and scrutinized the sword in Ace's hands.
"Excalibur, eh?" he said. "The real thing was a bit less... plastic."
"It is not plastic!" yelled Ace, finally regaining the ability of constructing full sentences. "What are you doing here?!"
"All this..." the man's fingers danced quickly above the sword's blade, probably to express his dissatisfaction with the amount of its gilding "...frippery. The real Excalibur was simple. Quite dreary. Well, swords are usually dreary, aren't they? There were some engravings, over there, something in the lines of 'Pick me up' on one side and 'Throw me away' on the other; mystical thingamabobs if you ask me, but meant to inspire respect, because Merlin thought..."
"Computer!" bellowed Ace.
The man jumped backwards, his eyebrows again going high up his forehead.
"Ah, yes, sorry." He took off his glasses, folded them and put into the inside pocket of his suit. In its place a small, well worn object appeared in his hand. The man clicked the switch. This time it was Ace who stepped back, but the object just shone blue light and emitted high, modulated whine.
"Computer, there is a fault!" yelled Ace, but quieter than before. He was standing, sword in his hand, opposite the bloke armed only with a shining... pen?... torch?... or whatever it was, but still he didn't feel overly confident."
"All right, relax, I'll try to restore all..." the man fingered over the device which emitted higher and lower sounds. "Hope I won't reset the whole thing. And where are my converses?"
"Reset?!" Gold jumped up from the tree trunk, narrowly avoiding tripping against his own sword. He fought it for a while, untangling the sword from the coat's folds and blueberry bushes. Finally he managed to push it all aside and to make a few steps towards the man. "Do you know how much it had cost? Personalising alone took hours; avatars, preferences and all! Don't you dare reset us, I didn't save this scene!"
The man looked up from his toy for a moment. With a deep sigh he turned his eyes towards Gold.
"There are worse tragedies," he muttered.
„But..." Suddenly Gold restrained himself. As far as he knew the man could be an Emporium programmer, and if the programmer discovered the signs of manipulation, he would throw them out of the chamber, out of Emporium, maybe even out of the moon, and they would never regain the users' privileges. "But, please..."
"Done." The man raised the singing device and pressed a button. „So, have fun!"
He disappeared in front of Ace and Gold's eyes, replaced again by the Lady of the Lake. But this time the Lady of the Lake wore a long, slightly baggy dress made of coarse linen, and her red hair was braided into several thicker and thinner plaits. Her face was painted blue; she had bronze fibulas on her shoulders and a very realistic dagger at her side. She put her fists on her hips and tilting her head she carefully scrutinised Ace.
"What are you looking at, prawn?" she snorted, clearly not convinced with what she saw. "Are you taking the sword or not? I don't have all day!"