AN: Sorry for the rather short chapter, since it's the end of the year school is really piling on the work. Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/alerted this story. Once again, no beta, so sorry for all the mistakes. Let me know what you thought.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, why would I be majorly in debt if I did? Applies for all chapters.
You spend those six months seeing different people, trying alternative methods before resigning yourself to drugs. Mediation with a Buddhist priest works for a while but then the voices worsen. You see psychiatrist after psychiatrist trying out different meds. One makes you gain weight while barely eating anything and another never takes effect.
You finally stick to one even though it makes you listless and slow because this drug actually works. You travel to Maine to visit a friend, needing to get away from your life. Being around nature is wonderful while it lasts but all too soon you are back in Virginia. Sometimes you can't help but lose your temper, angry at this disorder that has you trapped inside mind. You wonder what the neighbors think on those days as crashes emit from your house as you shatter dishes in an attempt to release some of this pent up rage.
The effects of your trip wear off quickly and the voices in your head start up again despite the drugs. Your most recent psychiatrist fails to find the right meds just like all the others. You call his office to schedule an appointment in the earliest opening, tomorrow afternoon. You hope to yourself that the voices don't get too bad, that you can still manage them.
JJ decides that she can no longer wait to see Reid again. She has already driven past his house several times, knocking without a response from inside. It is time for her last resort. She grabs a bribe off her desk and heads to the tech goddess' office.
"Hey Garcia, I brought you a snack!" JJ announces, holding a piece of chocolate cake triumphantly.
"With a gift like that Jayje, you are welcome anytime." Garcia replies happily taking the plate and grabbing two forks from her desk drawer.
She hands one to JJ and digs in asking, "What can I help you with today or are we here to gossip?"
"It's about Reid." she tells her solemnly and a somber mood settles in the room.
"My hands are tied. Hotch gave me an explicit order not to dig into his files saying that he would find out. We would be betraying Reid's trust in us."
"Penelope, listen to me," JJ pleaded, "I have a really bad feeling that something's wrong." She explains everything she had done to try and track Reid down. "I can't find anything, it's like he disappeared."
She can see Garcia weakening, adding a final push she says, "I know you can do it especially without anyone finding out. You have hacker skills."
Her eyes beg Garcia, JJ is truly desperate.
Garcia gives in, slowly nodding. She would have started searching for him awhile ago if her own personal moral code had not stopped her. Her fingers fly over the keyboard, opening several windows to prevent cross hacking and to hide her search.
"No one will find out, right?" Garcia asks slightly nervous. She could lose her job.
"This stays between us." JJ confirms.
"Good because since he's on leave, the government has no right to look into his private business. We are doing this as friends because we are concer–" Garcia abruptly stops her jaw hanging slackly.
"What," JJ peers over Garcia's shoulder, "did you find?!"
Garcia begins to shake quietly as she tries to hold her tears in, "It happened…he's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder."
JJ looks shocked. Nothing she imagined even came close to this.
Garcia continues quietly after checking that her door was firmly shut, "He has visited over ten psychiatrists. It looks like he just back from a trip to Maine. Should we tell Hotch?"
JJ ponders for a moment, "No, if he knew Reid could never get his job back. Though with bipolar, it's entirely possible that he won't be able to work for the BAU. We can't keep this a secret forever."
"What is Reid going to do?" Garcia moans, her heart aching for the man's plight.
"If the doctors finally find the right course of treatment it's possible that Reid could work as an unarmed consultant." JJ says hopefully.
She does not want to lose one member of her team forever.
Determined, JJ tells Garcia, "I'm going to visit him. Maybe I can convince him to tell the rest of the team. We could help at least with support."
JJ leaves a stunned Garcia alone her office and leaves work early making up an excuse about Henry. What no one knew was that Henry was with Will at the moment, it was his week with the baby. Every four weeks Will would have custody as agreed upon in court six months ago.
She arrives at Reid's house quickly nearly causing several accidents on the road. She is busy thinking rather than paying the proper attention to the road. JJ maneuvers amongst his uneven winding path in her high heels to knock on his door.
Several moments later the door cracks open, "JJ." he announces pained, his voice and face indicating that he is less than happy to see her.
The minute you open the door you know it was a mistake. The voices clamber in your head louder than ever, shouting all sorts of paranoid delusions. You are astonished to learn of the depths of her search for you and the fact that everyone was so concerned about your well-being. She tells you that she knows and gives you a sudden but strong and comforting hug.
You learn that she is not only here to see if you are okay but also to convince you to tell the rest of them. You say that is the one thing you cannot do. You think they will be ashamed of you, that they will treat you differently, like you are fragile and ready to break.
You begin to argue, JJ's voice soft and compelling, your's hard and furious. You can barely hear her over what's going on in your head, a hellish symphony of noise cracking your skull from the inside out.
You scream in frustration, anger, or agony and lose control to them. You grab the nearest object, a crystal bowl in your entryway, and hurl it at her without further thought. A second later, your heart sinks with the rest of your body as you regain control, pushing them to the back of your mind. You ignore their voices – Betrayal, it was all a trick!! She's responsible! Kill the vampires, get rid of them! Listen to us, you know we're right, come on…You stupid idiot! You didn't finish the job!!– and rush to her, stammering apologies.