A/N I was too lazy to write earlier in the week, so sorry about that. But now my fingers are tired from typing for three hours straight as I tried to get this up for you guys tonight. Thank you for your reviews. R/R, enjoy!

Ch. 10: Live a balanced life

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

-Robert Fulghum

Before everyone knew it, it was Christmas Day. Ever since Ryan's revelations of his past, him and Marissa had been extremely close. Ryan looked at her as the single most important thing in his life. He felt he could tell her anything in the world after revealing his dark secret of his mother's death and his part in it. She always made him feel better no matter how upset, guilty, or angry he was at himself, and she always made him smile. Since he had spent the first seventeen years of his life with little joy aside from the time he spent with Theresa, it was a nice feeling.

He had never really trusted anyone as deeply as he trusted her. Sure he had been really close to Theresa when they were back in Chino, but that was a different kind of trust; a friendly kind of trust. She had been there when all the bad things happened to him so he didn't have to sit and tell her about it, she would just help him escape it. But with Marissa, he wanted to tell her things about his past. He couldn't figure out why he had been so against it until she practically forced it out of him because now that he had told her about it, he felt so much better. Talking to her made him realize that he had been holding too much back for too long; now that he could let go and be himself around someone, it felt great. As corny as it sounded, he finally felt alive when he was around her – like he could do anything he wanted to.

As he got dressed to go to her parent's house for a nice Christmas breakfast, he wondered where things would go with the two of them. He was way too young to think about marriage and children, but he could see her a part of the big picture. It was too early to talk about forever, but he could imagine her with him for college and whatever else their near-future held. He smiled a little at the thought of being somewhere else with her, somewhere where it was just the two of them. He even let himself ponder the possibility of moving into their own apartment together as they attended college, whichever one they got into. They had the college discussion a few times and Berkeley seemed like the most likely choice, but nothing was set in stone. Assuming he did get into college, anyways.

He put the thoughts of the future aside and focused on getting ready. Today him and Marissa were going to be pretty busy. First they were going to eat breakfast with her parents and open gifts there, then they were going to come back and open gifts with the Cohens, then head to meet Theresa and Anthony at the prison so they could see Trey, and then they were finally going to come back to the Cohen house where the Coopers and Cohens would gather to eat a large Chrismukkah feast – Chrismukkah being the named of the holiday Seth had created when he was little.

The part about the plans that kept him on edge was visiting Trey. He could deal with Marissa's parents and Seth's annoying rambling, but seeing his brother was always something that made him nervous. But, he had made a promise to Theresa and Anthony to be there for them as they visited Anthony's father, so he would follow through.

He thought back to when he informed Marissa about his visit to Trey. She had been pretty shocked.

They walked along the pier hand in hand. Marissa turned to him and said, "So, I have an idea on how we should spend Christmas." He gave her a look telling her to continue. "I was thinking that maybe you could come by and have breakfast with my parents so we can open presents there, and then we could go hang out with the Cohens the rest of the day."


"Okay, but the Cohens want your parents to come over for dinner."

She nodded. "I'll tell them."

"Other than that, there's only one small problem," he said thoughtfully.

She frowned. "What is it?"

He stopped walking and leaned against the railing so that his body was facing hers, but looked away from her towards a couple of boys skateboarding their way through the crowd. "I was thinking of going to the prison and visiting Trey. Theresa asked me a couple of months ago if would go with her and Anthony, and I said I would."

She nodded, her eyes slightly disappointed at the thought of not spending the entire day with him. "Oh."

He nodded and then turned his eyes back to hers. He placed his hands on her hips and took a step closer to her so that their faces bodies were extremely close, both able to feel the heat radiating from the other's body. He gave her a crooked half smile and softly said, "I was kind of hoping you'd come with me."

She frowned from the shock, but then her lips lifted into a wide smile. "Really?"

He nodded, his smile widening at her excitement. "Yeah. There's no one else I would rather go with."

He was finishing buttoning up his long sleeve white button up shirt when he heard the pool house door open. "Merry Christmas!"

He smiled hearing her voice and turned to smile at her. "Merry Christmas," he said, quickly closing the gap between them as he crossed the room and took her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and their lips met in a sweet kiss. He pulled back and gave her a crooked smile as he held her. "And how are you this morning?"

She leaned in and brushed her lips against his again. "Better now." She pulled back and then asked, "Are you ready?"

He nodded. "Yeah, just let me get my shoes on..." He pulled away from their embrace so that he could go put them on. As he was lacing them up, she paced a little. He picked up on this and asked, "Why are you nervous?"

She shook her head. "I'm not nervous." At his knowing look she said, "Fine, I'm nervous about going to see Trey." He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, causing her to explain. "I mean, he's your brother and I want him to like me." At that comment he raised another eyebrow, amusement on his face. She gave him a dirty look at his expression. "Don't look at me like that, this is important!"

He stood and walked over to her, placing his hands on her hips. "My brother will like you, and even if for some weird reason he doesn't, he's not high on my list of favorite people." As she started to protest, he put a finger to her lips to silence her. "Not only that, but he is also in prison, which means he can't really get in the way of us, now can he?" She was about to protest again but he wasn't done speaking. "And lastly, I don't care what anyone else thinks or says about you, what matters is how I feel about you and what I think. And..." He smiled and quickly pecked her lips. "I happen to really care for you." She finally fell silent and he smirked and kissed her forehead. "Now come on, we have a busy day ahead of us." Then, together, they headed to breakfast.

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After a pleasant breakfast and opening gifts from both her family and Ryan's, Marissa and Ryan were heading to Chino. Ryan had called Theresa before they left to inform her they were on their way and now that they were about fifteen minutes away, he asked Marissa to text Theresa and let her know where they were and when they planned to be at the prison. After she was done with that, Marissa put his phone away and let her fingers nervously strum her legs. It wasn't long before Ryan picked up on it and reached over to hold her hand, immediately relaxing her. "You still nervous?"

She nodded. "I know that it's not important to you...but it's important to me."

He nodded and remained silent for a few minutes. Finally he said, "I know, and it means the world to me that you'd worry about it, but it's going to be just fine." He glanced over at her quickly, offering her a reassuring smile. "Trust me." He gently squeezed her hand.

Soon they arrived at the prison. They met up with Theresa and then all signed in. While Ryan and Theresa signed in, she was left alone with Anthony. He stared up at her with those familiar blue eyes and smiled a toothy grin. "Riss, carry?"

She smiled and lifted him into her arms. "How have you been Anthony?"

He shrugged. "Momma give lots of time outs!."

She bit her lip to keep from smiling. "Why?"

He shrugged again, feigning innocence. "Me no good boy."

"What did you do?"

He grinned widely. "Me call man with big wed twuck!"

She looked at him confusedly. "Huh?"

Theresa walked up to them and rolled her eyes. "My son over here though it would be fun to call the fire department so he could see the big red firetruck. He called and started shouting, 'fire, fire!'" She looked at Ryan who was giving Anthony a stern look. "He's your nephew."

"But me come outta momma!" Anthony said, shocking Marissa.

"You can't argue with that logic," Ryan said, a pleasant smirk on their face.

They were led to the visiting area and on the way Marissa asked, "How does he know about that?"

Theresa shrugged. "He doesn't know much, just that I carried him in my belly for nine long months." She suddenly broke into a wide smile. "I guilt him into being a good boy sometimes."

Marissa was about to question her again, but then the guard said, "Here we are. Merry Christmas."

They all sat down at a large table and waited for Trey to arrive. Ryan took Anthony from Marissa's arms and sat him down on his lap, bouncing his knee a little so that the young boy giggled. "You ready to see your dad, buddy?" he asked softly.

Anthony nodded excitedly. Ryan had told her about this: apparently Anthony really did love his father, though he very rarely got to see him. He didn't exactly understand why he was in prison, just that he had done something bad and was in a really long time out. "Yeah, me miss dadda!" He looked at Marissa and asked, "Riss know dadda?"

Marissa shook her head. "No, I've never met him before. Is he nice?"

He nodded emphatically. "Ya! He tew stowies of him and Wyan!"

Ryan rolled his eyes a little. "I don't even want to know what stories he tells."

Marissa was starting to get nervous once again, but before her unease could progress, Ryan reached out and placed one of his hands over hers, lacing their fingers together. She smiled and looked to see he was smiling over at her. He leaned in and pecked her lips quickly, then murmured, "It's going to be fine."

Anthony let out a giggle and said, "Gwoss!"

Marissa blushed and heard an unfamiliar male voice joke, "Wow, tell me what you really think of me..." Her eyes quickly shot up to see a dark haired man with an orange jumpsuit sitting across from them. His eyes met with hers and he raised an eyebrow. "Who are you?"

Anthony wiggled from Ryan's grip and crawled across the table to his dad, letting Trey set him on his lap. "That Riss, dadda...Wyan's giwfwiend."

Ryan squeezed her hand gently and looked at his brother. "As Anthony said, this is Marissa, my girlfriend."

Trey eyed Marissa up and down, making Marissa uncomfortable as she remembered exactly how Anthony was conceived. He directed his eyes to Ryan and smirked. "Nice job, little brother."

She felt Ryan tense beside her and she softly squeezed his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Trey," she said politely. "Ryan's told me so much about you." She didn't feel the need to add that they weren't necessarily good things.

Trey nodded and studied her again, making her feel uncomfortable all over again. Ryan finally exploded and said, "Trey, stop staring at her like that. I actually like her."

Trey looked at his little brother with raised eyebrows and said, "I never thought I'd see the day you would actually like a girl. If I remember correctly, you used girls for one thing only." Trey smirked tauntingly at Ryan.

Ryan's eyes narrowed. "At least they gave their consent," he spat back.

Trey shrugged. "It's all in the past, little brother. I'm a changed man."

"You are and always will be an immature boy," Ryan retorted, rolling his eyes. Marissa had never seen him get this upset, even when he was telling her about the incident with his mom.

Trey didn't seem fazed by Ryan's comment. He looked at Theresa and quietly asked, "How have you and Anthony been?"

Theresa shrugged. "We've been doing fine. You?"

He shrugged and offered her a smile. "Could be worse."

She laughed a little and said, "Definitely. I think the last time we saw you you had a brand new shiner."

He nodded and smiled. "Yeah, luckily the guys that did that found someone else to pick on." His eyes darkened, just like Ryan's did when he was thinking about something he didn't like.

Speaking of Ryan, he finally got over his anger and let out a small sigh before saying, "You look good, Trey. You been working out?"

Trey nodded. "Yeah. I mean...what else am I gonna do?"

Anthony, who had been quiet, finally said, "Wite to me and momma!"

Trey smiled and ruffled the kid's hair. "You're right, I think I should do that." Marissa observed the way Trey's eyes sparkled when he looked at Anthony and knew in an instant that despite the horrible things he had done, he really did love the little boy. She wondered if her eyes sparkled when she looked at Ryan. Trey's eyes stayed on the little boy as he said, "So, Marissa, how did you meet my little brother?"

Ryan said, "We were at registration."

Trey lifted his gaze to look at his brother and gave him a look. "I was talking to Marissa." Ryan looked like he was going to protest, but Trey said, "It's a harmless question, Ry."

Ryan sighed and remained silent. Marissa gently rubbed her thumb over his hand, trying to relax him a little. "As Ryan said, we were at registration..." She told the story of how her and Ryan had argued over the muffin. Trey occasionally smirked or chuckled, but when she finished he just smiled. Ryan even seemed a little relaxed as he remembered how they met.

"Sounds like you two had an interesting beginning," Trey commented after a minute of silence.

She nodded and smiled, glancing over at Ryan. He smiled back and she softly said, "Yeah, you can say that."

"So what about now?" Trey asked. "How are you guys doing now?"

Marissa squeezed Ryan's hand and softly said, "We're doing great."

Trey's eyes burned holes into her as he observed her, and then he looked at his little brother and offered him a small smile. "I wish you two the best." He looked at Anthony and said, "But for now, it's Christmas! Enough of this, we need to have some fun!" They spent the remainder of the visit singing Christmas Carols and talking about Santa Claus and other fun, holiday-related things until Ryan and Theresa decided it was time they should go. As they were about to leave, Trey held out his hand for Ryan to shake. Ryan stared at the outstretched hand as Trey said, "It's been good seeing you, little brother. I don't know who or what convinced you this was a good idea, but I'm glad you came." He paused. "It means a lot."

Ryan looked up into his brother's eyes and Marissa wondered if he was going to say something inappropriate and mean. After a long, awkward silence he firmly shook Trey's hand and said, "Be careful in there." He gestured towards the door that Trey would soon be leaving so he could go back to his cell.

Trey nodded and let go of his brother's hand. He turned to Theresa and said, "Thanks, you know, for bringing him." He looked down at Anthony and then back at Theresa.

Theresa shrugged. "He deserves to know who his dad is."

Trey looked down at his son and said, "Anthony, I want you to be a good boy for your mom and Ryan, okay?"

Anthony nodded and sadly said, "Kay." Trey hugged the little boy and then handed him to Ryan, who cuddled him and tried to get him to be happy once again.

Finally Trey turned and looked at Marissa. He uncomfortably shifted on his feet and said, "It was nice meeting you, Marissa. You seem like a decent girl. Just don't...don't hurt my little brother." His voice dropped a level and he quietly murmured, "We both know I've done that enough for the both of us."

Marissa offered Trey a smile and said, "It was nice meeting you too, Trey."

The guard came and took Trey away so they all headed back to their cars. When they got there, Ryan went to the back and pulled out a packaged gift for Anthony. "So this is from me and Marissa. I wish I could go to your house and see you open it, but I need to be leaving so I can get back to Newport." Anthony looked at the gift in Ryan's arms. "But call me tomorrow and tell me how you like it, okay?'

"Kay."

Ryan looked at Theresa and smiled at her. "Merry Christmas."

She smiled back. "You too, Ryan. You guys should be going though, it's getting late."

Ryan nodded and looked down at his watch. "Yeah, we should get on the road." He looked at
Marissa and asked, "Are you ready?"

She nodded and crouched down so that she was closer to being Anthony's height. "Bye, little one. I'm going to miss you."

Anthony smiled that toothy grin of his at her. "Me too." He hugged Marissa and it pulled at her heartstrings when she felt his small little arms around her. She kissed the top of his head and he said, "Bye bye Riss."

As they left Ryan commented, "It's weird how he can't really say his 'r's' except when he's saying your name."

They drove back to the Cohen house in a comfortable silence, just listening to the Christmas music on the radio. When they were nearing their neighborhood Marissa said, "That wasn't so bad."

Ryan snorted. "Yeah, for you."

Marissa looked over at him. "Hey, what's wrong?" He remained silent for a while so she softly said, "Come on, you know you can tell me anything."

He nodded and said, "I know, I'm just trying to think of a way to explain it." He sighed and then said, "It's just hard seeing him and remembering everything. I'm still angry at what he did to Theresa."

Marissa remained silent and then softly said, "I'm in no way telling you what he did was excusable or okay, but he did say he was sorry, and if he hadn't done it...Anthony wouldn't be here."

Ryan nodded and sighed, frustrated. "I know. Sometimes I feel guilty when I see him. I mean, I love him to death, but what happened to Theresa to make him was wrong and unforgivable."

Marissa nodded. "I know, and I agree. It's completely okay to feel that way."

He glanced over at her. "Really?"

She nodded and softly said, "Of course. It's not like you hate him or anything, you're just trying to make sense of everything." Despite the fact he was driving, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "So don't beat yourself up over it."

He smiled and softly said, "Thanks"

When the arrived at the house, her parents were already there and socializing with the Cohens. Marissa smiled at the sight, glad that their families got along. They all headed to the dinner table and started to eat the magnificent feast set before them that resembled a Thanksgiving dinner. "Thanks for this, it's really good, Kirsten," Marissa said politely.

Kirsten smiled warmly at her. "Thank you."

Julie swallowed her current mouthful of food and said, "So what's this Chrismukkah Ryan told me about?"

Sandy beat Seth at responding and said, "It's a holiday Seth made up as a kid."

Seth rolled his eyes and said, "Well, you see Mrs. Cooper, it's actually a combination of Christmas and Hanukkah..." As he told the story, Ryan reached over and gently rubbed Marissa's thigh, smiling at her when she glanced over at him. She smiled back and suddenly they felt like the whole world had disappeared as they looked into each other's eyes.

The dinner continued with comfortable conversation and quiet laughs until Marissa's parents announced they were stuffed. The Cohens agreed and the two families decided to go to the living room and just hang out together. After an hour of that, Marissa's parents finally called it a night and headed home, reminding Marissa that her curfew was one since it wasn't a school night. The two teens excused themselves and headed to the pool house. When they got there Marissa excitedly said, "Finally we get to exchange gifts!"

Ryan laughed and said, "You've been waiting for this all day long, haven't you?"

She nodded emphatically. "Of course."

He laughed again and went to his closet to get her gifts out while she went to the corner that she had placed his gifts that morning before they left for Chino. They both placed heir gifts for each other on the bed. "So how are we going to do this?"

"One at a time?" Marissa suggested.

Ryan nodded. "Okay." He handed her a large red bag with white tissue paper poking out the top. "Here, you can go first."

She smiled and excitedly took the gift from him. She quickly threw the tissue paper to the side and pulled out a small basket filled with mini-muffins. She looked at Ryan with a grin on her face. "This is so cute. You're so cute for getting this for me."

Ryan frowned. "I don't think I'm cute."

She smirked and said, "Well, you are." She pulled out a chocolate chip muffin and said, "These are good, right?"

He nodded. "I just got them really early this morning."

She smiled and bit into the muffin. "Mmmm, very good. Here, have a bite." Before he could protest, she shoved the rest of the small muffin into his open mouth. He chewed and swallowed, rolling his eyes at her giggles.

"It is good," he said with a smile.

She reached for a gift and handed it to Ryan. "Okay, open this one."

He opened the extremely thin rectangle to reveal a picture frame. He turned it over and saw a picture of the two of them holding Anthony that Theresa had taken for them. He smiled softly and looked up at her nervous face. "It's great, I love it."

She smiled and shyly asked, "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll put it on my nightstand."

She looked down at her hands as she said, "I figured this way you can always have a picture of your family beside you..."

He swallowed thickly and gently rubbed his thumb over Marissa's smiling face in the picture before looking up at the real one staring at him with a vulnerable expression. "Thanks," he repeated quietly.

She nodded. "No problem." As he placed the picture on his nightstand, she let her mind wander. She knew maybe she was being too forward too soon, but ever since she had realized she was in love with the boy a few feet from her, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about their future together. She wanted to go to college with him and live with him and spend all of her time with him. She wanted him to hold their child in his arms and look at them with the same look of adoration he held for his young nephew. She wanted him to say he loved her too, not because of that stupid bet with Sarah, but because she wanted him to want all of those things with her too. She knew they were too young to even think about any of those things, but she could only imagine spending forever with him, so why let her age get in the way?

Ryan looked at her and they shared a meaningful gaze before he looked back down at his one remaining gift for her. He lifted it and handed it to her. "And here's my big present."

She unwrapped it, revealing a jewelry box. She looked at him and then down at the box, opening it to reveal a silver heart necklace. "It's actually a locket," he informed her, staring down at his hands.

She took this piece of information and opened it to reveal a picture of her and Ryan sharing a kiss. She looked at him and asked, "When was this taken?"

"The first night we kissed. Apparently Summer knew of some people who are pretty close to stalkers. They had taken pictures of us, and this was one of them." He shrugged. He looked at her, worried that she wouldn't like it. "Do you like it?"

She smiled widely. "Like it? I love it." She lifted her hair and gestured for him to help her put on the necklace. He did, letting his fingers brush against Marissa's neck. He was tempted to lean down and leave a trail of kisses on it, but knew now wasn't the time. "So how do I look?" she asked when he sat back in his place, the necklace now dangling from her neck.

He smiled and gently said, "Beautiful."

She blushed and looked down at her hands. Then she reached into her purse and said, "So here's your big present." She handed him an envelope, earning an eyebrow raise from him. "Open it."

He complied and pulled out two tickets. He looked at what they were for and his whole face broke into a large smile. "You got me tickets to go see Journey?!"

She nodded and smiled at his obvious excitement. "Yeah, they come to L.A. late January. I saw an ad for it on TV and remembered you liked them, so I got tickets for us to go see them together....unless you want to go see them with someone else..."

"Are you crazy?" he said, brushing her comment of. "Of course I want to go with you."

She smiled, her insides warm and bubbly. "They're floor seats, so we should actually be pretty close to the stage."

He smiled, staring down at the tickets as if they were a prized possession. "Have I ever told you that you're the best girlfriend ever?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

His face got serious as he looked into her eyes. "Well, you are." Their eyes connected and he leaned in, softly brushing his lips against hers. "Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome," she murmured into the kiss, pushing him down onto the bed. As they continued the kiss, Marissa let herself believe that maybe Ryan did love her too; that maybe her thoughts of a life with him weren't so crazy after all.

And as she thought this, Ryan was having thoughts of his own: thoughts of Marissa, and if this feeling he had meant he was falling in love with her.

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Okay, two things. One, there's only one chapter left before Ryan finds out about the bet.

And two, I have to ask you guys: which do you prefer I write in future stories, first or third person?

Individual Replies:

Juzzy88: Thanks!

oc_bunney: It's alright. I do appreciate your reviews though.

Hpfangurl12993: Okay, I'll try to do that one if I don't continue one of my old ones.

Sara: Well there must always be humor!

Elly: I agree, My Sister's Keeper is a good book – great even – but in my opinion, they did it no justice with the movie. Everything was different.

Kellybby: haha, no, there wouldn't be much of a story.

G: Yep.

Marissa Davis: lol, I'm glad to see you have faith in the sex scenes I write. It's flattering. I hope I don't let you down the next chapter. Oh woops, did I just reveal too much? : )

bwunnies: here ya go!