Chapter 23- Spock Prime
I watched this time's Spock interact with his family I realized that the temporal rift the red matter caused may have been the best thing I could have ever done for myself. He was experiencing a life I never allowed myself to have. When he lost his battle with Nyota I realized the feelings I once had for her but never allowed to bare fruit.
I remembered how I would often stand beside her just to take in her essence. In my time she had been my student and friend. There were many missed opportunities for she and I. Seeing this version of myself take full advantage of what I had been missing gave me a quiet satisfaction. No doubt Dr. McCoy would have loved to see this day.
The wind blew her hair about her face and I smiled. The Nyota I knew did not grow her hair that long. But it suited this one. I began to wonder how the Uhura I knew would be as mother and wife. I began to crave it and experienced a feeling I rarely experience. Jealousy. I had been a coward when it came to emotions. I should have told her long ago how I felt.
I should have told her that I once envisioned her this way. I should have told her of the dreams I had. The dreams where she would lay in my arms our bodies coiled around one another. The dreams where she held our child in her arms. I did eventually marry however there was no happiness there for me. I am glad that he has found the happiness I never did.
She kissed him on the cheek and began to walk towards me. He continued to roughhouse with our children. I had grown accustom to think of the children that way. Essentially they were my children as well since I am still him and he is me. She sat next to me on the bench I occupied. She smiled at me and it was the smile I remembered. My heart was warmed to see that smile once more.
"I apologize for my emotional outburst." She said as she took her hand and pushed her hair behind her ear.
"I have spent 100 years around humans emotional outburst do not unsettle me any longer." I responded.
She smiled again.
"I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about me." She questioned nervous.
"You may. You were a great friend of mine and I miss you dearly." I answered.
"The me you know." She paused and bit her bottom lip. "Was I happy? I mean did I have a family? Did you and I ever?" She paused again. "I'm sorry he says I do that when I'm nervous." She continued with a smile.
"To the best of my knowledge you were indeed happy. You never had a family. Your career was everything to you." I replied and I saw sadness in her eyes.
"I used to think that my career was everything to me. I met him and I fell in love immediately. Even then a family never crossed my mind because I didn't expect him to ever fully give himself to me." She said with a soft sad smile.
"May I ask Nyota what changed your mind?" I questioned.
She smiled as she looked at her children.
"After his mother died we shared a beautiful night together. Then I discovered I was pregnant. Suddenly my world changed and while I never gave motherhood a thought it was all I wanted." She said with a loving smile.
She took a deep breath.
"Then your wife came aboard." She said with slight anger in her voice.
"T'Pring." I added.
"That's the one. He made his mind up to come to Vulcan to help the race."
"He still choose to leave even with the knowledge of your pregnancy?" I questioned as anger began to grip me.
If my Nyota I informed me of a child that we shared she would not be able to rid herself of me. She shook her head no.
"No. I didn't tell him. I found out I was pregnant that same day and begged McCoy to keep my secret which he did. I didn't want him to stay with me because of a baby I wanted him to choose to be with me because he loved me." She said warmly.
"I understand." I replied.
"I didn't tell him. I took an assignment at K7 station for a few months. It was attacked by Klingons and I was captured. After my rescue we worked things out and here we are."
"He is a very lucky man." I answered with a wide smile.
"I'm lucky too. Do you ever find your own happiness?" She questioned.
"No. But I am grateful for this look into what could have been." I answered.
Spock began to walk over to us and her smile widened. When she looked at him her eyes displayed only pure love for him and his eyes displayed the same.
"Forgive the intrusion." He said with a bowed head.
"No apologies necessary I have occupied your wife for way too long. Please forgive me." I smiled.
"Nyota it's late and we should get back to the ship." He said softly and she smiled.
She stood and I followed.
"You're right babe. We have a big day tomorrow." She smiled and I watched him get lost in her eyes.
"Prime please will you join us for the renewing of our vows?" he questioned and I smiled.
"It will be my honor." I replied.
"Great. I guess you can come up with Sarek." She said happily and throwing her arms around me.
My eyes closed at the contact with her. When I would allow it the Nyota I knew would hug me that way. I wished now I had allowed the contact more often.