Hi, I'm Byakuya Kuchiki! Okay, I'm sorry. I cannot do this happy cheery with the thumbs up thing. I'll just go straight to the point. I am hear to talk to you about Hair Care… Yes, it rhymes. My fan mail is flooded with people asking about my hair ORNAMENTS, not curlers. Hair ORNAMENTS, it's a sign of nobility okay! With all that fan mail, I was told to start to sell them for a profit. Let's try this smiley thing again.
For the price of $40.00, you can get these golden hair ornaments! PURE GOLD! Crap, this is like Gin's smile. Sigh… Call right now!
911 – 111 BLEACH HAIR BYAKUYA that's 911-111 BLEACH HAIR BYAKUYA
Call now! Seriously, call now. Or else I will have to unleash the power of Senbonzakura on you. I know where you live… so call already.
911 – 111 BLEACH HAIR BYAKUYA
Wait! We have an offer for you! We do! Wait, nobody told me I would be giving offers for my hair curlers, I mean ornaments! Okay, okay. Uh… It says here that, holy! Two for one, can we afford that! Okay… my manager, yes I have a manager, said that we could afford a two for one sale if you call right now.
911 – 111 BLEACH HAIR BYAKUYA
And, if you call now… WHAT! Another offer, this is getting dumb. Fine, fine… You get… BYAKUYA KUCHIKI HAIR SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER! Who created this! I am so going to kill them! Stop making fun of my hair. Wait, what… RENJI! YOU CREATED THE SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER! When I get my hands on…!
Hi, sorry about that. Call
911 – 111 BLEACH HAIR BYAKUYA
Now to get that Shampoo and Conditioner that we are offering plus the two for one offer. So go call now so…
You can't be actually be buying that crap! That's a fake recording! A FAKE recording! Where did you get that! RENJI! Oh yeah…
911 – 111 BLEACH HAIR BYAKUYA
Who put that HAIR in that… let me guess? Now I know why Hitsugaya-kun keeps his vice-captain of such a short leash!
Again, it's
911 – 111 BLEACH HAIR BYAKUYA
STOP IT WITH THE FAKE RECORDING!