A/N: I don't own Gilmore Girls or 'One Week' by the Barenaked Ladies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Suspended?" Rory practically screamed in the principle's office.
"Miss Hayden, please keep your voice down!" he hissed.
"But-but-you-I don't get suspended."
"Looks like you do now."
"Shut up." she growled at her smirking brother.
"Sir, it was just one little harmless prank." Tristan said, leaning forward, although he couldn't help smirking.
Charleston ignored him, "So, Miss Gellar, what's your defense?"
She shrugged, "I was bored."
"But no one got hurt." Blake pointed out. "It really was harmless."
The man's eyebrows arched, "You call turning your absent teacher's classroom into a petting zoo, and charging students for admission, harmless?"
"WE didn't do it. The portable petting zoo guys did." Tristan defended.
"We weren't able to get a substitute teacher for that class. All you had to do was sit in the library for and hour and fifteen minutes but you couldn't do that." he pinched the bridge of his nose to fight off his rising migraine.
"If you leave thirty sixteen year olds in a library unattended, you should plan for this type of thing to happen." Rory said, leaning back in her chair.
"I am not discussing this with you. The four of you are suspended next week, and your lucky I don't expel you." Tristan rolled his eyes, the threat of being expelled was getting a little old. "What was that Mister Dugrey?"
"Nothing."
"You four can go." he held the slips out to them, "Take these to the front desk." they took the papers from him and exited his office.
They handed the woman at the front desk their slips and she pulled the pink copy off the back, handing them the white and yellow ones. "Get these signed and bring the yellow one back tomorrow." she looked back down to her papers, showing them they should leave.
They walked down the hall in silence, until Blake and Tristan erupted into laughter. "What's so funny?" Paris asked.
"We're actually suspended." Blake said, calming down.
"That's not funny!" Rory shook her head.
"No Rory, it's hilarious." Blake said, laughing again.
She looked from her brother to her boyfriend in disbelief, then to Paris who shook her head with an amused look. She and Rory locked eyes before laughing as well. Rory pushed her gently, for some strange reason, none of them could stop laughing.
CAFETERIA
They walked into the cafeteria to sit at their normal table. "So, what's the verdict?" Baker asked when they sat down.
"Suspended." Blake smirked.
"How long?" Louise asked.
"One week." Rory said simply.
"That's harsh." Henry said.
Blake leaned back in his chair, "Mom and dad will love this."
Madeline grimaced, "Sorry."
"No. He's serious," Rory said, "they'll love it. They'll think it's hilarious and be glad that we're living up to the Hayden and Gilmore names."
HAYDEN HOME, THAT AFTERNOON
Tristan walked up to the door, knocking three times. The door swung opened to reveal Shane, "Oh. Hey Tristan."
"Hey Shane."
"You know, you don't have to knock. You can just open the door. We don't lock it during the day."
He nodded, "Ah. Thanks."
He nodded, "Blake is with Jess and Rory's upstairs, I think. My parents are both at work, none of the help is working today, and I'm about to go to my friend's house."
"Alright. Thanks."
"Bye."
"Bye, Shane." Tristan walked in and the thirteen year old closed the door behind him as he left.
Tristan looked around, and was about to walk upstairs when someone tackled him. He flew forward and landed on the ground, someone collapsing on top of him. He rolled over and Rory fell off of him with a squeak. He looked at her in disbelief, his mouth open. Neither said anything for a few minutes, Rory just smirked until he finally spoke. "Ow."
She laughed, "What's wrong?"
"Well, my girlfriend just tackled me. And I think I probably have severe rug burn."
She patted his cheek, "I'm sorry."
"No you're not."
She shook her head and grabbed his hand, "Come on, let's go."
"Where are we going?"
"The diner."
"Oh yeah, the whole staff has the day off, right?"
"Yes. And I don't cook. Luke does. Jess can too, actually."
"Well he does work in a diner."
"Silence." she opened the door and pulled him through.
"Wait." Tristan froze, causing Rory to stop.
"What?"
"Will Dean be there?"
"He might. This is a very small town."
Tristan nodded, "Great." but he continued walking.
They walked into the diner to see Jess and Blake at one of the booths, talking quietly. As they neared, they heard the last strands of the conversation. "Are you sure it was her?" Jess asked.
"Positive." Blake answered with an unusually serious look. Jess bit his lip, looking worried.
"What's wrong?" Rory asked.
Both boys jumped in surprise at seeing the couple, "Nothing." Jess answered immediately.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Come on, sit." Blake pointed to the bench where Jess was sitting.
"Yes. What do you two want? I'll get it for you." Jess stood up and pulled the notepad from his pocket. Rory and Tristan looked between them before sitting down.
"Okay, what do you want?" Jess asked.
"Coffee."
He smiled, "Of course."
"And my usual."
He nodded, "Tristan?"
But before he could answer the door opened and Dean walked in, his arm around a girl. Rory couldn't see her face, but she seemed somewhat familiar. Tristan saw her face before Rory did, and his jaw dropped. When she finally saw her, Rory wasn't surprised at Tristan's reaction. Dean had his arm around none other than Summer. Rory's eyebrows drew together in confusion. Why in the world would Summer want to be with Dean?
Tristan turned to Rory, "That's really there, right?" she nodded mutely. "Good, just making sure I wasn't imagining things."
Rory shook her head, "When I told him to date Chilton whores, I didn't think he'd take it seriously." Tristan smiled, amused as Dean and Summer walked over.
Summer's smile was sickeningly sweet. "Hey Tristan. Rory."
"Hi Summer." Rory said, looking at the couple questioningly. Tristan just nodded. "So..." Rory said after a few tense minutes, "um, how long have you two been dating?"
"Two weeks." Dean tightened his grip on Summer.
"Really? Um, I didn't know you were dating anyone Dean."
"What? Did you think I was still hung up on you?"
Rory shook her head, "No. Nope I didn't."
"Rory, can I talk to you for a second?" Summer asked, motioning towards the door.
"Sure." Rory said uncertainly, following her outside.
When they got there, Summer turned around, smiling with sugar coated poison, "You know, I just want to say, no hard feelings."
"No hard feelings about what?"
"You know, I'm dating Dean, you're dating Tristan. I just wanted you to know that I don't hold it against you. I don't hate you for it."
Rory nodded, "That's um, that's good to know. Thank you." she said uncertainly.
"But of course, you would probably be the upset one."
"Why is that?"
"Because you never slept with Dean." Rory's eyes widened, she hadn't even thought about Tristan and Summer, not like...that. "Oh," Summer mock sympathized, "Tristan didn't mention that, did he?" Rory didn't answer. "Oh, well I just feel bad now."
Rory shook her head, "Don't. And your right. No hard feelings."
Summer's smile faltered before becoming plastered on her face, "What?"
"I'm not mad at you. Or Tristan. It's in the past, right? No forgiveness needed. No hard feelings."
Summer nodded, "R-right."
"Is that all you wanted to say?"
"Yeah."
"Alright then, let's go back inside." she opened the door and Summer walked in, sitting beside Dean. Rory sat next to Tristan. Blake had gotten up after Dean sat down, not wanting to be near him. Rory looked at Tristan with a look that clearly said, 'we need to talk'. Blake pulled up a chair and sat on the end.
Jess brought their food, and when he set down Dean's, he looked up, "I didn't order this."
"Yes you did."
"No. I didn't."
"Well, what do you want me to do? It's already made."
"Um, I dunno..take it back?!"
"But you ordered it!"
"No I didn't!"
"Tristan, did he not order this?"
"Yup. He ordered it all right."
"No I didn't. This is horrible service."
"Then why not just never come back?" Jess asked, picking up the plate."
"That's actually a good idea. Come on Summer, let's go." she stood up and followed Dean out.
"Bye bye." Jess called to his retreating back, waving. Blake put the chair back and sat across from Rory and Tristan.
Lane walked in an collapsed on the bench beside Blake, "I'm am seceding from my family."
Blake laughed, "Why?"
"They're setting up a dinner to get 'more aquatinted' with Henry."
Rory and Jess both erupted into laughter, just imagining how priceless that would be. Tristan, who'd never met Lane's parents, didn't understand. "Damn, I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall for that." Jess said, out of breath.
"It's not funny!"
"Give him my condolences." Blake said.
Lane glared at them, "My parents will eat him alive and then spit him back out. He's not ready for this!"
"Maybe they'll be nice." Rory tried.
"Have you ever met them?" Lane asked her best friend. She sighed, "I have to go, I need to prepare them and call Henry, tell him how to answer their questions."
"Does your mom know you're here?" Tristan asked.
"No. She thinks I'm on the phone with my perfect cousin."
"Who?"
"Mani. She lives in Korea. You've met her, remember?"
"Ohh. That girl?" Rory asked. Lane nodded. "Hee hee. Love her." Rory said sarcastically.
She nodded, "I know. Just be glad you aren't related to her." she looked at Jess, "Back door, please?" he nodded. "Thanks. I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"We should go too." Rory grabbed Tristan's hand, "I'll see you at home, Blake. Bye Jess." all the boys said bye in unison. Tristan and Rory exited the diner and walked down the street in silence for a few minuets.
"What did she say to you?" Tristan asked, finally breaking the silence as they walked into the house.
"Something you should have told me."
"What was it?"
Rory ignored his question, "You know, I didn't even think about it, but I can't figure out why. I knew that it happened, but I just didn't connect it."
"Connect what?!"
Rory stopped, turning to him, "You never told me you slept with her."
Tristan froze, eyes widening, "That's what she told you?"
Rory rolled her eyes, "Obviously."
"Why would she do that?"
"What I can't figure out is why you didn't."
"Why is this upsetting you? You knew I wasn't a virgin when I asked you out."
"I know! But I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with them telling me!" he laughed, unable to stop himself. "This isn't funny!" she yelled, "I'm REALLY mad right now, and it's because of you!"
He smirked, "The only reason you heard anything from them was because Summer's a bitch. And why are you so mad at me?"
"Because you should have told me!"
"Oh, that would have been a lovely conversation. 'Hey Rory, by the way, I fucked Summer, just to tell you'? Yeah, that's a great conversation starter right there!"
"I just think you should have told me, I mean, I am your girlfriend, and it would be nice to know that kind of thing!"
"But you know it didn't matter. You know Summer meant nothing to me!"
"Do I?"
"I sure as hell hope so!"
"Well then, you're wasting your time!"
"Rory, it was in the past! I'm with you now, not Summer!"
Rory's head cocked to the side, "I'm not going to pretend that I'm happy about it. In fact, I'm really pissed."
"I'm sixteen years old! Go find ten sixteen year old virgins in Chilton! I guarantee you that you can't!"
"I'm a virgin!"
"You were with Dean, it's not all that unbelievable!"
"You know what? I'm done talking to you, I'm tired and I'm mad, so let's just stop!"
"Stop what?"
"Everything. We're going way too fast. We have to stop or slow down or something!"
"So what are you saying? You want to break up?"
"Not break up, just, stop."
"That's called breaking up."
"It's just-it's too much Tristan. I'm tired. And I know you are. I'm mad and you're mad, let's just stop."
He laughed bitterly, "are you serious?"
"I don't want to talk to you right now. When you get it together and understand that there are something you need to tell your girlfriend, then I'll talk to you."
He looked away, "Fine. Whatever. I'm going home. See you tomorrow."
"Bye." she walked up to her room while Tristan walked to his car, both slamming their doors as he sped away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Suspended?" Rory practically screamed in the principle's office.
"Miss Hayden, please keep your voice down!" he hissed.
"But-but-you-I don't get suspended."
"Looks like you do now."
"Shut up." she growled at her smirking brother.
"Sir, it was just one little harmless prank." Tristan said, leaning forward, although he couldn't help smirking.
Charleston ignored him, "So, Miss Gellar, what's your defense?"
She shrugged, "I was bored."
"But no one got hurt." Blake pointed out. "It really was harmless."
The man's eyebrows arched, "You call turning your absent teacher's classroom into a petting zoo, and charging students for admission, harmless?"
"WE didn't do it. The portable petting zoo guys did." Tristan defended.
"We weren't able to get a substitute teacher for that class. All you had to do was sit in the library for and hour and fifteen minutes but you couldn't do that." he pinched the bridge of his nose to fight off his rising migraine.
"If you leave thirty sixteen year olds in a library unattended, you should plan for this type of thing to happen." Rory said, leaning back in her chair.
"I am not discussing this with you. The four of you are suspended next week, and your lucky I don't expel you." Tristan rolled his eyes, the threat of being expelled was getting a little old. "What was that Mister Dugrey?"
"Nothing."
"You four can go." he held the slips out to them, "Take these to the front desk." they took the papers from him and exited his office.
They handed the woman at the front desk their slips and she pulled the pink copy off the back, handing them the white and yellow ones. "Get these signed and bring the yellow one back tomorrow." she looked back down to her papers, showing them they should leave.
They walked down the hall in silence, until Blake and Tristan erupted into laughter. "What's so funny?" Paris asked.
"We're actually suspended." Blake said, calming down.
"That's not funny!" Rory shook her head.
"No Rory, it's hilarious." Blake said, laughing again.
She looked from her brother to her boyfriend in disbelief, then to Paris who shook her head with an amused look. She and Rory locked eyes before laughing as well. Rory pushed her gently, for some strange reason, none of them could stop laughing.
CAFETERIA
They walked into the cafeteria to sit at their normal table. "So, what's the verdict?" Baker asked when they sat down.
"Suspended." Blake smirked.
"How long?" Louise asked.
"One week." Rory said simply.
"That's harsh." Henry said.
Blake leaned back in his chair, "Mom and dad will love this."
Madeline grimaced, "Sorry."
"No. He's serious," Rory said, "they'll love it. They'll think it's hilarious and be glad that we're living up to the Hayden and Gilmore names."
HAYDEN HOME, THAT AFTERNOON
Tristan walked up to the door, knocking three times. The door swung opened to reveal Shane, "Oh. Hey Tristan."
"Hey Shane."
"You know, you don't have to knock. You can just open the door. We don't lock it during the day."
He nodded, "Ah. Thanks."
He nodded, "Blake is with Jess and Rory's upstairs, I think. My parents are both at work, none of the help is working today, and I'm about to go to my friend's house."
"Alright. Thanks."
"Bye."
"Bye, Shane." Tristan walked in and the thirteen year old closed the door behind him as he left.
Tristan looked around, and was about to walk upstairs when someone tackled him. He flew forward and landed on the ground, someone collapsing on top of him. He rolled over and Rory fell off of him with a squeak. He looked at her in disbelief, his mouth open. Neither said anything for a few minutes, Rory just smirked until he finally spoke. "Ow."
She laughed, "What's wrong?"
"Well, my girlfriend just tackled me. And I think I probably have severe rug burn."
She patted his cheek, "I'm sorry."
"No you're not."
She shook her head and grabbed his hand, "Come on, let's go."
"Where are we going?"
"The diner."
"Oh yeah, the whole staff has the day off, right?"
"Yes. And I don't cook. Luke does. Jess can too, actually."
"Well he does work in a diner."
"Silence." she opened the door and pulled him through.
"Wait." Tristan froze, causing Rory to stop.
"What?"
"Will Dean be there?"
"He might. This is a very small town."
Tristan nodded, "Great." but he continued walking.
They walked into the diner to see Jess and Blake at one of the booths, talking quietly. As they neared, they heard the last strands of the conversation. "Are you sure it was her?" Jess asked.
"Positive." Blake answered with an unusually serious look. Jess bit his lip, looking worried.
"What's wrong?" Rory asked.
Both boys jumped in surprise at seeing the couple, "Nothing." Jess answered immediately.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Come on, sit." Blake pointed to the bench where Jess was sitting.
"Yes. What do you two want? I'll get it for you." Jess stood up and pulled the notepad from his pocket. Rory and Tristan looked between them before sitting down.
"Okay, what do you want?" Jess asked.
"Coffee."
He smiled, "Of course."
"And my usual."
He nodded, "Tristan?"
But before he could answer the door opened and Dean walked in, his arm around a girl. Rory couldn't see her face, but she seemed somewhat familiar. Tristan saw her face before Rory did, and his jaw dropped. When she finally saw her, Rory wasn't surprised at Tristan's reaction. Dean had his arm around none other than Summer. Rory's eyebrows drew together in confusion. Why in the world would Summer want to be with Dean?
Tristan turned to Rory, "That's really there, right?" she nodded mutely. "Good, just making sure I wasn't imagining things."
Rory shook her head, "When I told him to date Chilton whores, I didn't think he'd take it seriously." Tristan smiled, amused as Dean and Summer walked over.
Summer's smile was sickeningly sweet. "Hey Tristan. Rory."
"Hi Summer." Rory said, looking at the couple questioningly. Tristan just nodded. "So..." Rory said after a few tense minutes, "um, how long have you two been dating?"
"Two weeks." Dean tightened his grip on Summer.
"Really? Um, I didn't know you were dating anyone Dean."
"What? Did you think I was still hung up on you?"
Rory shook her head, "No. Nope I didn't."
"Rory, can I talk to you for a second?" Summer asked, motioning towards the door.
"Sure." Rory said uncertainly, following her outside.
When they got there, Summer turned around, smiling with sugar coated poison, "You know, I just want to say, no hard feelings."
"No hard feelings about what?"
"You know, I'm dating Dean, you're dating Tristan. I just wanted you to know that I don't hold it against you. I don't hate you for it."
Rory nodded, "That's um, that's good to know. Thank you." she said uncertainly.
"But of course, you would probably be the upset one."
"Why is that?"
"Because you never slept with Dean." Rory's eyes widened, she hadn't even thought about Tristan and Summer, not like...that. "Oh," Summer mock sympathized, "Tristan didn't mention that, did he?" Rory didn't answer. "Oh, well I just feel bad now."
Rory shook her head, "Don't. And your right. No hard feelings."
Summer's smile faltered before becoming plastered on her face, "What?"
"I'm not mad at you. Or Tristan. It's in the past, right? No forgiveness needed. No hard feelings."
Summer nodded, "R-right."
"Is that all you wanted to say?"
"Yeah."
"Alright then, let's go back inside." she opened the door and Summer walked in, sitting beside Dean. Rory sat next to Tristan. Blake had gotten up after Dean sat down, not wanting to be near him. Rory looked at Tristan with a look that clearly said, 'we need to talk'. Blake pulled up a chair and sat on the end.
Jess brought their food, and when he set down Dean's, he looked up, "I didn't order this."
"Yes you did."
"No. I didn't."
"Well, what do you want me to do? It's already made."
"Um, I dunno..take it back?!"
"But you ordered it!"
"No I didn't!"
"Tristan, did he not order this?"
"Yup. He ordered it all right."
"No I didn't. This is horrible service."
"Then why not just never come back?" Jess asked, picking up the plate."
"That's actually a good idea. Come on Summer, let's go." she stood up and followed Dean out.
"Bye bye." Jess called to his retreating back, waving. Blake put the chair back and sat across from Rory and Tristan.
Lane walked in an collapsed on the bench beside Blake, "I'm am seceding from my family."
Blake laughed, "Why?"
"They're setting up a dinner to get 'more aquatinted' with Henry."
Rory and Jess both erupted into laughter, just imagining how priceless that would be. Tristan, who'd never met Lane's parents, didn't understand. "Damn, I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall for that." Jess said, out of breath.
"It's not funny!"
"Give him my condolences." Blake said.
Lane glared at them, "My parents will eat him alive and then spit him back out. He's not ready for this!"
"Maybe they'll be nice." Rory tried.
"Have you ever met them?" Lane asked her best friend. She sighed, "I have to go, I need to prepare them and call Henry, tell him how to answer their questions."
"Does your mom know you're here?" Tristan asked.
"No. She thinks I'm on the phone with my perfect cousin."
"Who?"
"Mani. She lives in Korea. You've met her, remember?"
"Ohh. That girl?" Rory asked. Lane nodded. "Hee hee. Love her." Rory said sarcastically.
She nodded, "I know. Just be glad you aren't related to her." she looked at Jess, "Back door, please?" he nodded. "Thanks. I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"We should go too." Rory grabbed Tristan's hand, "I'll see you at home, Blake. Bye Jess." all the boys said bye in unison. Tristan and Rory exited the diner and walked down the street in silence for a few minuets.
"What did she say to you?" Tristan asked, finally breaking the silence as they walked into the house.
"Something you should have told me."
"What was it?"
Rory ignored his question, "You know, I didn't even think about it, but I can't figure out why. I knew that it happened, but I just didn't connect it."
"Connect what?!"
Rory stopped, turning to him, "You never told me you slept with her."
Tristan froze, eyes widening, "That's what she told you?"
Rory rolled her eyes, "Obviously."
"Why would she do that?"
"What I can't figure out is why you didn't."
"Why is this upsetting you? You knew I wasn't a virgin when I asked you out."
"I know! But I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with them telling me!" he laughed, unable to stop himself. "This isn't funny!" she yelled, "I'm REALLY mad right now, and it's because of you!"
He smirked, "The only reason you heard anything from them was because Summer's a bitch. And why are you so mad at me?"
"Because you should have told me!"
"Oh, that would have been a lovely conversation. 'Hey Rory, by the way, I fucked Summer, just to tell you'? Yeah, that's a great conversation starter right there!"
"I just think you should have told me, I mean, I am your girlfriend, and it would be nice to know that kind of thing!"
"But you know it didn't matter. You know Summer meant nothing to me!"
"Do I?"
"I sure as hell hope so!"
"Well then, you're wasting your time!"
"Rory, it was in the past! I'm with you now, not Summer!"
Rory's head cocked to the side, "I'm not going to pretend that I'm happy about it. In fact, I'm really pissed."
"I'm sixteen years old! Go find ten sixteen year old virgins in Chilton! I guarantee you that you can't!"
"I'm a virgin!"
"You were with Dean, it's not all that unbelievable!"
"You know what? I'm done talking to you, I'm tired and I'm mad, so let's just stop!"
"Stop what?"
"Everything. We're going way too fast. We have to stop or slow down or something!"
"So what are you saying? You want to break up?"
"Not break up, just, stop."
"That's called breaking up."
"It's just-it's too much Tristan. I'm tired. And I know you are. I'm mad and you're mad, let's just stop."
He laughed bitterly, "are you serious?"
"I don't want to talk to you right now. When you get it together and understand that there are something you need to tell your girlfriend, then I'll talk to you."
He looked away, "Fine. Whatever. I'm going home. See you tomorrow."
"Bye." she walked up to her room while Tristan walked to his car, both slamming their doors as he sped away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~