LOVELESS: Hey guys! I am back again! How wonderful huh? I captured all the damn characters again. They were so hard to find, but I did it!
Everyone: Help she has us tied to big rocks!
Loveless: giggle Big rocks
Itachi: Should we really be doing this right now?
Loveless:: Oh yeah well we have some letters for everyone! Wow this first one is looooooooooooooooooong! Lets get started! It is from Sco23! Here is their letter!
To all the Naruto girls: Are you ticklish? You can answer one at a time. Truthfully that was a random question because no one else ask and I also have a habit of asking that to annoy girls.
Tsunade: Why do you use violence to solve a problem instead of talking it out peacefully so that there will be no causualties? Why do you let those old farts at the council push you around, because their job is to advise you not rule you, they are overstepping their bounderies when you are the hokage, I would've had them put in the retirement home or sentence them to prison?
Sakura: Why do you hit Naruto for no reason because any other person might kick your butt really hard? Is your hair naturally pink?
Chouji: What would you do to Ino and Shikamaru if they ever take the last bite of your food?
Kakashi: Have you ever use the secret finger jutsu on a girl and will you ever let your team read your book and see your face?
Jiraiya: Have any kids accidently read your book?
Lee: Will you give up on Sakura she has a big forehead and will never like you and is equally vain and temperamental as Ino? Find another girl who likes you for who you are and doesn't think your a weirdo? Will you ever get rid of that green suit and put on some real clothes and get you eyebrows and hair cut?
Kin: How did you get your hair so long?
Tayuya: Why do you curse alot?
Naruto: Why do you wear a bright kill me suit? What does dattebayo means anyway? Why do you add chan to Sakura's name when he has no feelings toward you and spurs your affection? Why don't you focus on the goal of being hokage instead of chasing Sasuke? Besides if Sasuke doesn't come back Sakura would probably be yours and if that doesn't work you can go to Hinata since she secretly likes you and would gladly trade Kiba to have you on her team? Why do you let Sakura hit you when you could have gone kyuubi on her and kick her butt?
Hinata: Why do you always punk out when it comes telling Naruto about your feelings? Why didn't you use the cage bird seal attack when Neji was beating you down and talking all that stuff about you? Would you go back in time to make sure that Naruto ends up on your team? What would you have done if Naruto actually saw you naked in that waterfall in the Bug arc? Could you also use your Byakugan to see through people clothes like Neji probably does with Tenten and any other girl?
Ino: Why are you a vain and temperamental blond? Can I cut off the part of your hair that covers your right eye so that we won't think you lost your eye or have a lazy eye?
Shikamaru: Does the word troublesome run in your family? Will you ever stop being lazy and is your father that scared of your mom?
Shino: Will you ever take your sunglasses off? What would you do to that person if he or she switch your soap and shampoo with bug poison? What would you do to Naruto if he tells anyone that you sung and dance at the wedding in the laughing Shino arc?
Sasuke: Who would you rather be trapped in the closet with Karin, Orochimaru, Barney the dinosaur or Naruto? choose one. For billions of dollars or yins, would you strip down naked with guitars and basses covering your parts and sing blink 182's what's my age again in front of all the yaoi fangirls and yaoi fanboys with Lee and Neji?
Kiba: Can I have your sister's phone number if I make you a clones of the konoha girls, the sound girls, and Temari that will do anything for you?
Neji: What's with the long hair? Will you ever lighten up on the fate drama?
Tenten: Would you ever wear a clown or mime suit or a chuck e cheese suit for money to buy more weapons? (Now that was just random). Who would you want to be married to Lee, Neji, or Gai? Did you notice that you get less screen time than the others cast members (cough season 9 and after the rescue Garra arc cough)?
Temari: What does Shikamaru do to make you like him?
Kankuro: Will you go out on a date with catwoman since you dress up in a cat suit? Do you use your puppet to scare kids and old people on halloween?
Gaara: Your cool when you go crazy on people. Do you have a girlfriend?
Kurenai: Are you part Uchiha with your red eyes?
Girls: What would you do to me if I ordered Itachi against his own free will to put you in a genjutsu where you are tickled tortured for 144 hours.
Asuma and Jiraiya: Why did they have to kill you off why couldn't it be someone who's annoying like Gai or someone a lot of us won't miss on the show like Danzo and those old farts at the council or Sasuke.
Akatsuki: Do you ever have a birthday party in your organization like taking Tobi to Chuck E Cheese's?
Hidan: Is Tayuya your long lost daughter because you both like to curse alot?
Kin and Zaku: How did Orochimaru kill you?
Deidara and Ino: Are you related?
Gai: Will you ever get a girl? I heard that Kurenai and Anko wants you?
Sai: What do you do besides draw and make fun of Naruto?
Konohamaru: Who would you date Moegi or Hanabi (Hinata's little sister)?
Moegi: Who would you date Konohamaru and/or Udon?
Anko: Are you really as crazy as people say you are?
Loveless: Well that was long! So Answer away people! Girls answer the question!
Sakura: Yes I am but not in places where people normally touch thank god.
Loveless: Well that was a little weird but ok next girl!
Ten-Ten: No I am not! Being ticklish is for the weak!
Loveless: She lies don't listen to her!
Ten-Ten: COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT!
Loveless: Sorry can't I am too busy running this shindig! Haha Loser! I win! VOCTORY!
Hinata: W-well I n-never have been t-tickled b-bfore so I hav-ve no id-dea.
Loveless: Aw poor Hinata! I love you anyway!!!!
Temari: Why should I tell you!? HUMPF!
Loveless: She is in denile!
Temari: Am not!
Loveless: Are too!
Temari: Am not!
Loveless: OK ENOUGH! Since the other girls don't want to just answer in a line they are just going to sum up the answers and this is what they got.
Answer: Why do you even need to know this? No matter what you say someone is going to tickle us anyway!!!!
Loveless. Ok next question!
Tsunade: I do this because I like to kick peoples asses!
Loveless: Well that seems nice
Tsunade: Shut the hell up!
Loveless: Make me!
Tsunade and loveless start a huge fight
Loveless: I shall win!!!
Gaara: Well since they are fighting I am going to take over the show for now. Sorry Soc23 But Tsunade will not be able to answer the rest of your questions.
Loveless: Next arg ques DON'T BITE! Tion!
Sakura: I don't hit Naruto for no reason. I hit him when he is being an asshole or is being really perverted! And Like anyone would want to hit this pretty face. Smile
Loveless and Tsunade stop the fighting
Loveless: Pfft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOD THAT IS FUNNY! THANKS FOR TAKING THE ANGER OUT OF THE ROOM WITH YOUR JOKE!
Sakura: Well before I was so rudely interrupted by assholes! I do heal him when I am not pissed at him. But that is more often then not!
Naruto: Bitch!
Sakura: What did you say!
Naruto: Loveless help me!
Sakura: Like she will help you now!
Loveless: Enough! God I swear you are all five year olds!
Gaara: I thought that you were fight Tsunade just now.
Loveless: Huh? Oh yeah I was so I kicked her in the face and took back my show.
Gaara: How lovely.
Loveless: Anyway what is the next part of the letter?
Chouji: Well if they ate me food
Loveless: THEN YOU MIGHT LOSE SOME WEIGHT FATTY!
Chouji: I AM NOT FAT! I AM JUST BIG BONED!!!
Loveless: Anyway what is next? I want to hurry to the next letter!
Kakashi: Well I have never actually used it on a girl. I wonder how that would go?
Loveless: Don't even think about it Kakashi-sensei
Kakashi: Aw but anyway the next question's answer is no and no. I need to keep my face secret so no one can spot me in a police line up.
Loveless: What was that?
Kakashi: NOTHING!
Loveless: Liar! Anyway!
Jiraiya: Well yes, they have. It was Loveless here who got it.
Loveless: That is the reason why I am scared.
Lee: MY TURN MY TURN MY TURN!!!!!
Loveless: Ok calm down Lee. Don't wet yourself please.
Lee: Of course not! I will never give up my beloved Sakura! There are no girls as great as Sakura-chan! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Loveless: Well great you got him started now he is going to be going on and on and on. You are never going to get another answer from him.
Kin: I got it so long by just growing it duh. God is this guy stupid or what?
Loveless: Now now no insulting the people who are so nice to write you letters!
Kin: Not my fault they are idiots!
Loveless: Careful, I might put you back into the huge picture of the monkey again if you do not control yourself!
Kin: NOOOOO!!!!!!
Loveless: Glad we have a understanding.
Tayuya: BECAUSE I FUCKING LIKE TO DAMNIT!.
Loveless: Potty mouth!
Tayuya: FUCKING HELL! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
Loveless: I think that she needs to have the soap.
Tayuya: Like you can fucking make me!
Loveless: Here comes the soap. Pulls out soap and sticks in mouth
Naruto: Haha she blows bubbles!!!
Loveless: Do you want me to put soap in your mouth as well!
Naruto: EEP!
Loveless: Mwhahahahaha total control!
Naruto: But I have to talk otherwise I cannot answer the questions.
Loveless: … FINE! But make it quick!
Naruto: I wear the suit cause it is totally Ninjay. You never see me in it! The only reason you see me is cause I am pointed out! MWHAHAHA!
Loveless: Naruto, what color is your jumpsuit?
Naruto: Grey duh! You see it everyday just like I do.
Loveless: WE HAVE FOUND THE PROBLEM PEOPLE! NARUTO IS COLORBLIND!
Naruto: No I am not! Everyone just wears weird colors. But I sure do miss my Bright orange jumpsuit. I remember the last time I saw it, it was right before I went to bed.
Loveless: I think that his suit blinded him… DON'T LOOK AT IT!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!
Naruto: Anyway Dattebayo means whatever the hell I want it to!
Loveless: AKA he doesn't know.
Naruto: glare Anyway I put it there cause she is so pretty. How can you not pay attention to her?
Loveless: Don't forget people he is colorblind so I would not be surprise if he is blind to beauty as well.
Sakura: FUCK YOU LOVELESS!
Loveless: WANNA HAVE ME KICK YOU ASS LIKE I DID TSUNADE!
Sakura: BRING IT ON!
Gaara: Am I going to have to separate you?
Loveless: Probably!
Naruto: Can I just finish the questions?
Loveless: Eh why the hell not? Go ahead!
Naruto: I need to get Sasuke back because I promised to bring him back. Besides he is my friend so I have to believe in him that he is going to come back to us.
Loveless: He just has a thing for him.
Naruto: … Keep away from my Diary!
Loveless: Really? I was just guessing really.
Naruto: … FUCK!
Loveless: Are you needing to go to your emo corner?
Naruto: whimper yes.
Loveless: Go ahead hun you need it.
Hinata: Wow a-and to think t-that I l-like him.
Loveless: Well Hinata it is the perfect time for you to answer the person.
Hinata: I a-am always a-afraid to t-talk t-to him b-because he m-might r-reject me.
Loveless: Aw Hinata don't worry he is just an idiot who loves … people.
Hinata: W-well I t-think that I w-would w-want to have Naruto-kun on my team. A-also I w-would n-not use that o-on Neji b-because h-he is too c-close to m-me.
Loveless: Aw and what do you have to say to this Neji Holds out Mic
Neji: Well I think that if she had a way to win then she should have taken it. She is weak to not have.
Loveless: So Neji, have you found who is raping you yet?
Neji: whimper No. But I hope they stop soon. I fear for the life of my little buddy.
Loveless: Sigh You are such a mess.
Hinata: If Naruto-kun saw me w-with o-out c-clothes o-on. Eep Faint
Loveless: I think that she died at the thought of it.
Naruto: Would it really be that bad?
Loveless: … Yes it would.
Naruto: Glare
Ino: I am that way cause I am always on my period. Men should know this by now. Dammit!
Loveless: Wow no wonder I hate you. Smile
Ino: Shut up I am better then you!
Loveless: You just think that you are.
Ino: Do you wanna piece of this?
Loveless: Gaara! She is picking on me!
Gaara: Want me to kill her?
Ino: Shit why do you have to keep sending him on me!
Loveless: Cause you wanna fight with me and I just want to chill right now. If it was three minutes ago I would have kicked your ass. But now I just wanna have Gaara protect me.
Gaara: So want me to kill her?
Loveless: Naw leave her alive. We will just move onto the next questions. Shika it is your turn!
Shikamaru: Troublesome. Yes it runs in my family. And Of course I will always be lazy, how else am I supposed to live an easy life. If you have ever met my mother you would be scared of her as well.
Loveless: Wow I think that you are the only one that has answered all his questions without someone interrupting.
Shikamaru: Can I go to sleep now?
Loveless: But but but I will give you a cookie if you stay up.
Shikamaru: … No too little. Night!
Shino: Do I have to participate?
Loveless: Yes you do. NOW ANSWER! Or no cake.
Shino: Twitch Twitch Fine.
Loveless: I always get my way I love it!
Shino: No, I don't think that I will. They are very needed. You don't need to see my eyes and I don't want to show you.
Loveless: Very intresting.
Shino: I would hunt that person down and kill them slowly if they did that for me.
Loveless: Remind me never to do that.
Shino: And Finally I think that I would have to cut off Naruto's balls if he ever did that.
Loveless: wow I would watch out Naruto.
Naruto: Well um I think that I am um just going to go over here now. * Hides deeper into emo corner*
Loveless: Wow and he is going to lead us? I feel safe.
Sasuke: Lets get this over with.
Loveless: Hey who said you could talk.
Sasuke: Who said that I couldn't?
Loveless: … True. You got me there.
Sasuke: Now anyway I would rather be trapped in the closet with Barney because at least he would be quiet and not try to rape me.
Loveless: BUT BARNEY IS PURE EVIL!
Orochimaru: What about me?
Loveless: You are not as evil as Barney.
Sasuke: I think that you have issues.
Loveless: … So does that really matter?
Sasuke: Considering that you are in control of us for a while I think so.
Loveless: Well who asked you?
Sasuke: You did.
Loveless: Don't you have more questions to answer?
Sasuke: Fine. Yes I would. I need to money to buy whores to repopulate my Clan.
Loveless: What Itachi can't do it?
Sasuke: He still thinks that he can reproduce by himself.
Loveless: True.
Sasuke: So are you going to pay me?
Loveless: I think that it was just a question. I don't think that he is really going to do it.
Sasuke: He better unless he wants to end up in a lot of pain.
Loveless: oooookay. Next person on the list is Kiba.
Kiba: ok lets see. I don't think that I would give you her number. She is scary as hell when she is mad. And I would rather have her happy then have sex clones.
Loveless: Good choice. If you had said yes then I would have had to kick you in the balls.
Kiba: I am glad I mad the right choice.
Loveless:: I bet you are. OK I think that we are almost done. Lets see how many we have left.
Gaara: If you want to get to the next person I don't think you want to count.
Loveless: Why?
Gaara: Cause you will want to kill yourself over how many questions are left. And you want to answer all the questions.
Loveless: How many are left love?
Gaara: 17
Loveless: Damn OK! I am going to stop talking and you guys just answer as fast as you can so I can get to the next letter!
Neji: OK got it. I have longhair cause it is such a great thing to have. I will never lighten up on fate because fate will never lighten up.
Ten-ten: Yes I would. I have done it before. Why do you think that you have nightmares about a person in a clown suit telling you to shut up or they would stab you in the face. And I get just as much screen time as
Temari: I like him because he is so smart and no one knows it. He hides it so well.
Kankuro: I miss Loveless but I have to fight through! I would never date her because she would use my puppets as posts to sharpen her claws. Also please don't tell everyone my plans or else they will not pee themselves in fear anymore. Hehe
Gaara: Um
Loveless: TOUCH HIM AND DIE! He is mine! Glomps onto Gaara and sits on his lap
Gaara: Does that answer your questions about the Girlfriend question?
Kurenai: No I just do too much pot.
Gaara: Loveless wanted me to tell you that drug refrence is not allowed in this story.
Kurenai: Oh then it is from contacts.
Girls: We have agreed on killing you slowly until you beg us to kill you, let you heal and then do it over again.
Loveless: Ok that is really creepy. Have you guys been going into my mind again? … Wait I am not allowed to talk. On with you!
Souls of Asuma and Jiraiya: Because we are so awesome we take away from the main characters.
Naruto: Yeah right.
Souls of Asuma and Jiraiya: Hey we are dead let us think what we want.
Akatsuki: Why would we do that? We are too busy painting our nails.
Hidan: Shut the fuck up! Like it fucking matters bitch!
Loveless: Wow anger.
Kin and Zaku: He stripped in front of us. We killed ourselves before he could even touch us. Thank god.
Deidara: There is no way I would be related to Ino. I am too pretty to be related to that dog.
Kiba: HEY that is an insult to dogs.
Deidara: True.
Gai: Of course I will! For I am the handsome devil of the leaf village!
Loveless: He only wishes he was.
Sai: I also masturbate. But that is a given I think
Loveless: what a sad strange little man.
Konohamaru: Hanabi, because she would help me get to be the next Hokage!
Loveless: What a stupid reason.
Moegi: I would rather date Naruto. He is so cool and he has already saved me once before.
Anko: That depends. How crazy were you told I STOP TALKING LITTLE VOICES! I WILL POKE YOU WITH A Q-TIP AGAIN!
Loveless: OH MY GOD! I AM DONE!
Gaara: Whoopty doo
Loveless: Well now onto the next letter.
Gaara: That last one was a doosy. And you kept talking even though yousaid you would not.
Loveless: Yeah well Balloons are magic. So shut up!
Gaara: …
Loveless: And the next letter is from Keyblade Ninja – Nye. COOL! They don't have a twenty page letter!
Shino: I am just jumping for joy.
Loveless: Well here is their letter!
zOMG!! Hi~!
Kabuto: -hugs- I loversh you and your evil traidor ways!
Temari -throws Sasuke- LOVE HIM! SASUTEMA FOREVER!
Gaara: You know your just as emo as Sasuke?
Orochimaru: -hangs cookie- Happy new year. Touch Kabuto and your death will be granted
Kiba: YOU HAVE FANGS!
Naruto: -hug- You so cute!
Loveless: Well Guys start to answer!
Kabuto: Well of course I am. Have you seen me. I am the definition of hott.
Loveless: Well at least one person thinks so.
Kabuto: I can kill you ya know.
Loveless: You wish.
Temari: NOOOOO EMO GERMIES!!!!
Loveless: haha emo germies.
Gaara: Well if that is so then you are a vagina head. For your information I am much more emo then him. I won that contest so long ago it isn't even funny anymore.
Orochimaru: Thanksssss for the cookie but I am on a diet of childrenssss hopessss and dreamssss.
Loveless: You stay away from my children.
Sasuke: How the hell does that work?
Loveless: What you mean?
Sasuke: He tried to eat my hopes and dreams but I am not a child.
Loveless: On the inside you are.
Sasuke: … I hate you.
Loveless: Join the club I think they are getting jackets.
Kiba: I don't really. I just sharpen my teeth to make it look like so. I did it when I was young cause I had a thing for vampires.
Loveless: Wow you are just wow.
Kiba: Thanks now you made me feel stupid.
Loveless: No problem.
Naruto: I KNEW THAT SOMEONE LOVED ME! IN YOUR FACE SASUKE-TEME!
Loveless: Calm down skipper. Don't wet yourself now.
Naruto: Too late.
Loveless: Ew. Naruto go and change your pants.
Naruto: But it is so warm in here!
Loveless: Ew but you have to sit in your emo corner if you are not going to change.
Naruto: Fine be that way then. Bitch.
Loveless: Gaara! He is picking on me again!
Gaara: But I can't kill him Loveless. He is your brother.
Loveless: I know but he is being a butt!
Gaara: I know Loveless but you need to calm down.
Loveless: I know fine.
Gaara: Good I am glad.
Loveless: Anyway next letter! This one is from Knight-808 here is their letter!
YO lol i like this Q&A thing loveless so...questions huh hmm...oh
sakura:do u get a kick out of hitting guys cause u might as well send naruto too the hospital ur self or heal him lol
hinata: so hina-chan are u only going after the blond but funny idiot ? oh and are u a closet perv like they say ??
ten-ten: !!ten-chan is awesome fav character!! so whats ur weapon of choice ten-chan?? -smiles- oh and i think ur smexy hehe
tayuya: yo tayuya-san even though u were with sound ur okay with me lol
naruto: hey i feel for u man most of these girls can be cold blooded except hina-chan and ten-chan i like them...anyway u can do it dude -pats ur back-
kakashi: let me have a copy of one of jiraiya-sama's books please!?
Loveless: Wow! Someone talked to me! There really is a first for everything. Would you look at that. But thank you! I feel loved!
Sakura: Yes I do. I love beating up people! But it still kinda bugs me that I have to heal them. But still wanna be my next victum?
Loveless: Sakura, No. No. Bad dog. No hurting the nice reviewers.
Sakura: Do that again and see what happens.
Loveless: GOD ARE ALL YOU PMSING TODAY! Everyone is biting my head off. I feel so unloved!
Gaara: No please don't go there. I don't want to go through this again.
Loveless: Wow that makes me feel better.
Hinata: …
Loveless: Yeah sorry buddy but Hinata is still out cold from the naked question earlier. So yeah.
Ten-ten: Of course I am awesome! I am glad someone sees it!
Loveless: … Are there people on something? This is the second time something like this has happened.
Ten-ten: Well ignoring Loveless, My favorite weapon is my scrolls because they have weapons of all kinds in them. They make me smile.
Loveless: They make her smile like skettios make me smile!
Gaara: I don't think that the people care.
Loveless: But I want them to know. Maybe they will give me some. To make me smile!
Gaara: Don't count on it.
Tayuya: Of course you are good with it dammit!
Loveless: No cursing or the soap goes back in.
Tayuya: Meep!
Loveless: That is better!
Naruto: Thanks for the inspration. I always knew you would be my best friend!
Loveless: If you start to cry I am going to make you grow a vagina!
Naruto: voice gets all deep Um Dude thanks.
Kakashi: NO MINE!!!!!!!!!!! Runs to corner and growls like a animal
Loveless: Wow this is the first time this week. A RECORD! AMAZING!
Gaara: Should I be worried about him?
Loveless: Him? No, anyway onto the next and last letter of this chapter! It is from Ren Minase-chan. Aw she sounds cute.
Gaara: Should I be worried.
Loveless: No she could never replace my love for you Gaara!
Gaara: Good.
Loveless: Here is her letter!
HI LITTLE SISTER (or are you my older sister?! D: -confuzzled-)
Uhm, uhm, uhm,.. let's see, I was going ask someone something.
...
...
... hang on, I"m thinking ...
UHM. If Neji and Sasuke were trapped in a hot tub with Orochimaru-sensei and Kabuto-kun, who would get raped, and why? XD
Loveless: Well I am Naruto's little sister. So I guess I can be your Big sister! This is going to be fun!
Gaara: Shouldn't we answer the question?
Loveless: Great idea my boytoy!
Gaara: What did you call me?
Loveless: So boys which one would be raped?
Neji: I hope not me. The person keeps coming back. I don't think I will be able to handle it in the day time.
Sasuke: I think that Kabuto would be the one to get raped.
Loveless: Why?
Sasuke: Cause he has been raped by Orochimaru for the last ten years, what is another day in the hottub gonna do to him?
Loveless: True.
Kabuto: Don't I have a say in this?
Orochimaru: No my boy. Now bend over and call me Daddy.
Loveless: Well I am going to get out of here before it gets graphic. Now remember Always floss and review!
Gaara: This has been a paid advertisement for disterb co. Giving you nightmares since 1992.
Loveless: Have a good night! From your favorite author Narutoslittlesister!
TBC!