So this is odd
The painful realization that all has gone wrong
And nobody cares at all
So you buried all your lover's clothes
And burned the letters lover wrote
But it doesn't make it any better
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
In the hall where you had your first kiss
Reminds you that the memories will fade
Jess and Lane paced back and forth in the upstairs apartment of the diner, racking their brains for where Rory and Blake could be. They weren't at their house. Neither of their cars were in the garage, and when they'd asked Shane if he knew where either could be, he just said that they were gone when he'd come downstairs. Paris, Madeline, Adam, and Baker had all called, but neither of them had anything to say when everyone wanted to know where the twins were.
So now they'd been in the living room of the tiny apartment for half an hour, and neither had come up with anything. The Haydens were leaving for England the next day and all of their things were packed, the only thing missing was them. Suddenly Jess stopped pacing and Lane's head snapped up, "What?" she asked, coking her head back as a thought came to her.
"I know where Rory is." he said.
Lane nodded, looking past him, out the window, "I think I know where Blake is."
Jess looked over at her, "Briscoe Park." speaking of Blake. That was the park in Hartford they'd gone when they were younger to get away from the suffocating little town. Before they could drive they'd take the bus and complain about how much they hated everything for the forty five minute ride.
She nodded again, "The amusement park." speaking of Rory. Jess grabbed the keys to Luke's truck and without a word, they both made their way out of the apartment and down the stairs to the diner. Jess held the door open for her and they each went to their cars before peeling out of the parking spots in front of the diner.
Jess pulled into the parking lot, shaded by the trees. He got out of the car and looked around, wondering where Blake could be. He made his way slowly towards the playground, but stopped half way there and turned to his right. There was a small clearing that was surrounded by trees. Few people knew it was there because it was separated from the pavilion and playground, and in order to find it you'd have to go off the paved track and through a small patch of woods. Even the frisbee golf course wouldn't take you anywhere near it. They'd found it once when they were fourteen and it had been their 'spot' ever since. The only bad thing was that it was almost an hour away form their homes.
He walked through the trees and over to his friend who was sitting with his back resting against a large oak tree. Blake knew he was there, but he didn't look up. Jess shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way over, sitting in front of him. "Hey."
"Hey." he didn't look up or say anything, so they just sat in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it definitely wasn't empty. Finally, Blake spoke again, "I don't want to go." he said quietly.
Jess looked away from him, "Yeah, I know."
"I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do?" he looked up.
Jess looked back over at him and shook his head, "I don't know, man."
He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, looking at the ground, "I love her."
"Maddy?"
"Yeah."
"I know."
"I never told her."
"I know."
"Baker and Louise split yesterday."
Jess's eyes widened, "Why?"
"Because he told her he loved her. She freaked."
"And broke it off?"
He nodded, his eyes fixed on a stick to his right. "He said she like, went crazy and got all worried and then just broke it off."
"But she loves him too."
"Yeah, I know."
Jess nodded, still trying to wrap his head around it, "You know, when you think about it, between all of us, everybody's in love...but nobody's ever said it."
"Except Rory and Tristan."
"Yeah. And look what happened to them." They both fell silent.
"I just don't want to leave." he said quietly, and Jess looked away, he didn't have anything to say.
Lane pulled into the parking lot of the amusement park Rory and Tristan had gone on for their first date...of course, they hadn't known they were going with each other. She walked over to the entrance and saw Rory sitting with her knees pulled to her chest. No one was going in or coming out at the moment, so they were alone. She walked over to her friend, who had her knees pulled to her chest. Lane knew that the twins looked a lot alike, but seeing Rory like that made her think of Blake, and they looked exactly alike. The four of them went through phases. Sometimes she was closer to Rory than she was to Blake, and sometimes she was closer to Blake. Jess went through the same thing, and for the past few months she'd been closer to Blake and Jess had been closer to Rory. But there was still something in the fact that they were 'the girls'...there was always something there that they would never have with either of the guys.
She sat next to Rory, "Hey."
"Hey." she said quietly, her voice cracking. They sat in silence as well, Lane waiting for Rory to speak. And she did after several minutes. "I don't want to go."
Lane nodded, "I know."
They were silent for a moment until Rory spoke, "This is the first place Tristan kissed me." she said quietly. Lane smiled, looking at the ground. Rory bit her lip, "This is also where I came when he moved away...and when my mom had her accident...and when they told us we were moving." she shook her head, a small smile on her face, "I don't know why."
Lane looked behind her, through the fence that enclosed the park, "Because it has good memories."
Rory nodded, tightening her grip on herself despite the heat of the afternoon, "Yeah." she was silent for a moment, "I don't have any parks with Adam." she said quietly.
Lane turned to look at her, "What do you mean?"
She shrugged, "I don't have anyplace that means anything. I don't even remember the first time he kissed me. But I can tell you exactly where I was in the park the first time Tristan kissed me. I can tell you the rides we'd been on before and after. I can tell you what outfit I had on, what he was wearing. Hell, I could tell you what earrings I was wearing." she shook her head, "It's not like that with Adam." Lane was silent, her eyes wide. Rory bit her lip, "I don't have any parks with Adam."
Lane looked away from her, "Do you love him?"
She stared at a leaf on the ground, weighing the question in her head. Finally she answered, "No."
"Do you even like him anymore?"
Rory was silent for a moment, "I think so. I mean, I did before he told me he loved me. And now that he said it, I'm not so sure if I still like him anymore. I just..." she trailed off, her eyes widening momentarily as she inhaled deeply, "...I don't know."
Lane shook her head, confused, "Then why are you still with him if you're not sure?"
"I have to have someone to occupy my time so I don't dwell on other things."
"You mean your mom?"
Rory shook her head, still staring at the leaf, "No. Not like my mom. I don't need a guy to keep my mind off of her. I could just spend time with you or Louise if I didn't want to think of her."
"Then what 'things' are you talking about?"
The corner of her lip twitched into a half smirk and she shook her head lightly, "Tristan."
Lane's head cocked back, "What?"
"I'm still not over Tristan. I tried to act like I was. I tried to hate him." She shook her head again, "I threw it all away...everything he'd given me. I tried to forget everything. I sent his clothes back to his house. I burned half of the pictures of us. The ones that I could stand to not have anymore. I wanted to hate this place because it was the first place he kissed me, but I couldn't. I can't hate this place and I can't hate him." She inhaled slowly, "It didn't work. It never works." she looked up at her friend, "Laney, I'm still in love with him."
Rory sat in the passenger seat of her brother's car, watching the trees on the side of the highway speed by. Their plane would leave in and hour and a half. She still couldn't believe that they were actually leaving. It just didn't make any sense. None of them had spoken since they'd left the house. Their grandparents had offered to come, but the kids had declined the offer. They simply didn't want them there. And their father still hadn't spoken to them. Rory ran her fingers through her hair, moving it back from her face as she curled up in her seat. She really didn't want to go.
Tristan sat on the plane, staring out at the clouds the surrounded the plane, head phones glued to his ears. At least he got a window seat. He wanted to go back, but then again he didn't. He wanted to see his friends, and then again he didn't. He wanted to see Rory, but didn't know if he could look her in the face after what he'd done. Everything would have changed by now. Even if he did wind up going home for good, he and Rory could never be like they were before. And then there was Adam. But he'd won Rory over before when she'd had a boyfriend. Of course, that had been Dean. And from what he'd heard, Adam was quite different from Dean. Adam was much more like himself.
But he didn't want to think about that, so he changed his train of thought to summer vacation. Kyle had left the day after classes ended, and Rick and Stewart were still there. Rick was at the school by court order, and Stewart was in the same position as Tristan. His parents didn't want him home. There actually weren't many guys there because of court order. The school was insanely over priced, so some of the people there because of court order couldn't afford it. Most of the kids there because of trouble with the law were rich anyway, so the courts let them decide where to send the kids. Of course it was to the number one military school in the country.
Rick wouldn't have been able to afford the school if his entire family sold all their belongings and homes. He was there because the attorney who represented him was one of the best in Atlanta, and he had only done it as a favor to Rick's grandfather. Rick was insanely smart and an amazing swimmer, so he got a double-scholarship. The school took his family situation into account and decided he deserved a full ride scholarship, and he was glad they had. He'd wanted to get out of Atlanta, but had never had the opportunity before. That was one good thing about that school, they looked at the guy as individuals. They took everything into account when people applied.
And then, for some reason, he started thinking about Mackenzie. It was a casual thing with them...well, it was a casual thing every weekend. And then whenever they would hang out with a group, they were kind of together. But the thing was, he wasn't interested in a relationship with her. That wasn't what he wanted. He didn't even really like the way they were. He wouldn't have chosen it. She had done all the chasing. Of course, he hadn't done anything to stop her. And he knew she was into him. She wanted more than he did. He knew that Rick had warned her against getting involved, but she didn't listen. Not to give the wrong impression, he wasn't complaining. It was very nice to have a friend with benefits...but things like that didn't interest him any longer.
He hadn't been able to sleep for more than an hour at a time for the past three days. The thought of seeing Rory again was killing him. He didn't know what it would be like. Would she even want to see him?
His stomach clenched as he glanced at his cell phone and saw that it was almost four. He'd been in Hartford in half an hour.
Rory's feet dragged as she moved through the airport. She hated this. They all hated this. She sighed and glanced at a large clock on the wall...it was four thirty. The airport was crowded because the first wave of vacationers was leaving for the summer. She had to hold onto Blake's belt loop so she wasn't separated from her brothers. She could see ahead that the people who were getting out of the terminals in front of them were coming in from Texas, New York, Illinois, and North Carolina. In that order, with the terminal from Texas closest and the one from North Carolina farther away. Their plane was several gates past these.
Tristan got out of the terminal and was walking through the airport. He'd been told their driver would be waiting for him at the main entrance. He was hit in the shoulder by a large man coming out of the terminal of the plane coming in from Chicago. He decided not to say anything since the guy could probably strangle him without breaking a sweat...maybe he was a bodybuilder...
The people from Texas were certainly rude. They kept running into Rory and nearly separating her from Shane and Blake, and when she didn't fall over to get out of their way, people looked at her like she was rude to be walking in their way. She couldn't wait to get out of this crowd.
Tristan didn't have any bags. About half of his clothes had been left at the house in Hartford, so he just came with what was on his back. It was a good thing too, because he wouldn't have wanted to have to get through this crowd with a bag, especially after the people coming in from New York mixed with the stampede he was in. Another man ran into him. This time the guy was smaller and balding, but Tristan just didn't care, and they fell into the crowd next to each other. It didn't help the flow of pedestrian traffic that people didn't seem to be walking to their right the way you were supposed to in a crowd. Everyone that was going the way he'd come and everyone that was going the same direction as he was were all jumbled together. Damn, he hated airports.
Rory was still shoving her way through the crowd when a man with a distinctly receding hair line ran into her. She swore and grabbed her shoulder, turning to look at him as the mass of bodies continued to push her forward.
Tristan heard someone swear and turned to see who it was, but the man next to him either hadn't heard the curse or just didn't care. When he turned, he was still moving because you can't just stop in the middle of a mob.
Rory's eyes widened as they landed on a familiar face. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't move. "Tristan?" she said quietly, letting go of Blake's belt loop to try and walk the other way, but as soon as she did Shane grabbed her arm to keep her close to them. She turned to look at her brother for a moment, but when she turned back around, he was gone.
Tristan's jaw dropped and he shook his head. Someone yelled at him to keep moving, but he ignored them and tried to push back through to the direction she was walking, but he couldn't get through with everyone pushing him.
"Are you okay Rory?" Shane asked.
She turned to look at him, "I just...I thought I saw..." she trailed off. He was gone. Maybe he hadn't really been there. She'd only seen him for a moment. Really it had been less than a second. It probably wasn't even him. She felt her shoulders droop and she exhaled slowly.
"What?"
She shook her head, "Nothing."
Tristan swore loudly and turned back to follow the flow of the crowd. Maybe it hadn't been her, but he could have sworn he saw her say his name. But it had only been for a split second that he'd seen her. She may not even have been there. Besides, she wouldn't have been there alone, and he hadn't seen anyone he recognized with her. Hell, he'd only seen her for a second. It probably wasn't her anyway. His head was playing tricks on him.
And the picture frames care facing down
And the ringing from this empty sound
Is deafening and keeping you from sleep
And breathing is a foreign task
And thinking's just too much to ask
And you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights
This is incredible
Starving, insatiable
Yes, this is love for the first time
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible
Yeah, well weren't we all once
Before we felt lost for the first time