Why Me?, a tsubasa chronicle fanfic

Disclaimer: Here there be fiction and CLAMP characters. Also here is lyrics from the song "Say It Again" by Marie Digby.

A/N: I found the forums not long ago and saw there was a contest fic thread. Interested, I decided prior to even seeing what it said that I would try it. Well, I did it. Please review, since I always love hearing what people disliked or liked. And a thank you to The Random Ninja who acted as beta reader.

Contest Details:

Starting Date: November 13, 2008

Word Minimum: 500 (Lyrics not included) Thus, 800 lyrics included

Song: "Say it Again" by Marie Digby

Pairing: Kurogane x Fai (my personal favourite)

Why Me?

The thing about love
Is I never saw it coming
It kinda crept up and took me by surprise
And now there's a voice inside my heart it's got me wondering
Is this true, I want to hear it one more time

I had promised myself never to go through this again. Becoming caught up by someone was something I knew, possibly better than anyone in any of the worlds I'd ever visited, would end in grief. I'd already fallen in love once before, and it (obviously) hadn't worked out. Love was what had caused me to run. I hadn't always been the coward I am today.

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

So why wasn't I stopping this before it killed me? Eventually, this was going to hurt. And I knew it.

Say it again for me
Cuz I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love
Say it again

When can someone truly, honestly say they love someone else? Is it the first time you realize how uncomfortable you feel near them or how comfortable you feel near them despite being uncomfortable? Or is it the first kiss or the first time you feel your eyes drawn to them without meaning to? Or is it the first time you share a secret glace?

I had fallen in love with Kurogane, in my own cowardly way, without ever realizing it was even a possibility. Even so, I'd never tell him how I felt honestly. That would be breaking my rules, and I could never break my rules. Maybe one day.

Thing about you is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there's no end in sight
The thing about me is that I really want to let you
Open that door and walk into my life

I definitely liked this too much. Being around Kurogane was like endless fun. Kurogane didn't feel the need to keep quiet or keep the truth hidden. He was so unlike me. Teasing him came so naturally, too.

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

Most people accepted me as I was, a liar, without resentment, but Kurogane refused allow my lies and smiles. He was too stubborn for his own good.

In such a short time, I knew he had been able to see past my mask. After so many people were fooled, suddenly I felt like maybe I had never been as good a pretender as I thought I had been. He knew just what to say to break my composure, and I'm certain he knew it and did it on purpose.

It was a rainy day and I had been in the kitchen preparing some hot chocolate for when the kids came back from their walk. Even with the rain, Sakura had wanted to visit a garden near our apartment before we left tomorrow.

Using his ninja skills, he crept up behind me, turning me around at the last possible moment, and completely took me by surprise. He was looking angry as usual. Yet, there was something that changed in his face. It became softer somehow as he kissed me against the countertop. Of all the things he has ever said and ever will say, the way that kiss broke my composure will never be beat.

And it feels like it's the first time
That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain
And never in my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

At first, I depended on my other half, and then I depended on my king. Both failed, so I tried to depend on myself. Most people would say that failed too and they are quite possibly right. How can you expect me to depend on you?

I told you not to save me. I told you not to save me. Why would you save me?

I'm not worth it. I will only hurt you and possibly break your heart. I am cursed. How many times should I say it to make you understand?

Yet, you haven't given up on me.

When you tell me you're in love
Say it again

The music slows down, I turn to look at you and I smile. I think you understand perfectly what I want to say.

La fin

Thank you for reading.