Disclaimer: Though already made this clear in legalese, I don't own NGE or any of the characters
It's Not Impossible
Chapter 7
When the Kids Think of the Future…
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Rei Ayanami experiences a wide range of emotions and sensations, contrary to the observations of most 'normal' people in association with her. They encompass small sentiments such as malaise and curiosity to consuming depression and bizarre introspective bouts of philosophy. However, she lacks the experience of most human beings to properly express her emotions. So her great disappointment in her life's predicament and her newfound fondness of the Third Child seemed to hang above her like a cloud as she climbed the glistening steel rungs of the school's outdoor pool, shaking her hair in a brisk motion as she stepped into the balmy summer heat.
Physical Education was never really a primary concern of hers, her occupation as an Eva pilot more than taxing enough for any average girl. But now as the doldrums of the Second Semester break drew near, she found herself… restless.
The Angel attacks, as far as she knew, were lagging behind schedule, and though the respite was welcome enough to the rest of the NERV staff and civilians of Tokyo-3, Ayanami couldn't help but feel as if this momentary break in the battles would only compound into something much more disturbing. However, these thoughts only lingered briefly in the back of her mind as the clouds shifted above her, the sun peeking through the forms in the sky.
She sighed softly as she walked across the hot concrete of the poolside, resting her hands on the chain-link fence, her eyes still trained on the few hazy clouds that had drifted away from the path of the sun.
"Emotions are comparable to rats, Shinji Ikari…" she mused, her train of thought returning to the boy that had unwittingly opened this can of worms to begin with. What started off as mild interest in the Third Child's motives had ballooned into a disproportionate obsession with the boy.
Interest turned into curiosity. Curiosity turned into concern. Concern turned into trust. Trust turned into caring. And after that… It didn't really matter, she thought, shaking the notions from her head. Right now, that caring sensation was metamorphosing into something quite serious, whether she admitted it or not, and she knew that her psyche at the very least had taken a strange turn in creating her dreams, and at the very worst she was going insane by way of schizophrenia.
"Pain, Ikari… pain borne from a thought of you…" Rei whispered, resting her head on the cool metal as she watched the clouds drift by.
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On the other side of the athletics department:
"To be but a single drop of moisture roiling down the sweet flesh of the maidens afoot…" Kensuke gesticulated wildly, the boy's class engaged in a game of basketball on the ground floor, a story below the pool, the male half of the school alternating between exerting themselves in competition and waiting with bated breath to catch a glimpse of the maidens that passed too and fro above them.
"Kensuke, you really should put your energy into other things. I bet we would have been able to win the last game if you put as much effort in basketball as you do ogling the girl's class…" Shinji sighed, leaning back on the bleachers as he took a seat beside Kensuke, still extolling the virtues of voyeurism.
"Pfft, not a chance, NERV-boy. Not with that big gorilla on the court." Kensuke laughed, jutting a thumb in the direction of Touji, manhandling the ball as he drove through the court, scoring another basket.
"ORAH!!! Another one for team blue!" Touji grunted as he passed by his two friends, giving them a salute as he hounded the opposing team who were frantically passing the ball back and forth in attempt not to be bulldozed by said gorilla.
"Yeah, still. I don't get why you think that stealing looks from the girls is the least… bit… rewarding…" Shinji replied, his voice slowing as he turned towards the fence of the outdoor pool.
"What's wrong with you Shin… oh ho…?" Kensuke said, his look of concern as to why Shinji began to stop in mid sentence turning into a wry smirk as he followed the pilot's line of sight.
"Hypocrite is a good color on you, Shin-man." Kensuke whistled slapping Shinji's shoulders as he let out a cackle, knocking the Third Child back into reality.
"H-hey!" Shinji yelped in surprise, trying to cover up his indiscretion.
"So what is it about her, man? The piercing red eyes? Her cool, exotic blue hair? Her porcelain complexion? It can't possibly be for her figure, the way her breasts swell under that-"
"Kn-knock it off, Kensuke!" Shinji interjected, turning away in an attempt to hide the sudden redness in his cheeks.
"Thou dost protest too much." Kensuke sniped, laughing at his friend's reaction.
"Geez, does it have to be that way with everything to you guys?" Shinji said, throwing up his hands in exasperation.
"Yup, that's what teenagers do, Shinji. Get with the program!" Touji said, adding his two bits as he passed by in a flash, off to score another shot for the blue team.
"Sigh I guess I can't pass it off as being concerned for her well being, huh?" Shinji muttered in defeat, turning back to Kensuke, who was still in the act of gazing the lovely young women of the P.E. class.
Kensuke snorted, "Right, like anything will happen to them in… Oh shit, Shinji, Rei's collapsed!!!"
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"I think you pushed yourself too hard…" a familiar voice drifted into Rei's consciousness.
"Anh…" Ayanami moaned, her head fuzzy as she came to, or at least some semblance of clarity.
As her vision cleared, Rei was greeted by the smiling visage of no one other than the very focus of her musings for the past few weeks. "…. Ikari?"
"Ouch… didn't we already get past that whole last name, deal, Rei?" Shinji laughed, leaning closer to the girl, resting his palm on the pillow cradling her.
"Oh, it's you…" Rei smiled, a sudden surge of relief coursing through her as she gently wrapped her arms around the dream-Shinji, holding him closer to her bedridden form.
"It seems I find myself in the nurse's office, ne, Shinji-kun?" Rei smiled, whispering into the object of her affections.
"Mmm, yeah. Your mind's pretty sharp, not that we didn't know that already…" Shinji smiled, pulling away from Rei as he took a chair and placed it by the First Child's bedside.
"The subconscious is a pretty powerful thing, after all. It figured out that you blacked out, concluded that you would be brought to the nurse's office, and sent me so that you wouldn't panic if you decided to start hallucinating before coming out of your fainting spell." Shinji summed up nicely, taking Rei's hand in his.
"Oh. I suppose I did exit the pool without properly acclimating myself to the higher temperature of both the poolside concrete and the atmospheric humidity…" Rei calculated, still in awe of her mind's machinations.
"Yeah. Worrying about your sanity can make the world seem to phase out. Am I really that much of a bother to you, my little angel?" Dream-Shinji chuckled, resting Ayanami's hand on his cheek.
"No… never… I just find that these complexity of these fantasies… disconcerting…" Rei whispered guiltily, her eyes not meeting with Shinji's as she withdrew her hand from the representation of the Third Child.
"Is that why you've been avoiding sleep lately, Rei?" Shinji whispered, a tinge of sadness in his voice.
"These…. Delusions… I no longer find myself in control of my actions. At times it seems as though I am in full control of my facilities, and then…" Rei's voice dropped even softer, her mind recalling the last vivid fantasy, her experience of a night at the movies with Shinji. She was so… normal. Was that what she perceived as what Shinji truly wanted? No, was that what she herself wished for? To be closer to Ikari… what was happening to her?
"I can't answer those questions for you, Rei-chan… after all, I'm just an extension of your own mind… I don't know anything that you yourself can't admit to…" Shinji sighed, placing his hand over her forehead, before kissing her gently.
Rei felt a tear roll down her cheek as she sank into the kiss, the fact that this Ikari was nothing more than a figment of her imagination a moot point for her. Her body ached for his touch, and the emotions in her chest would no longer be denied. She closed her eyes, hearing his gentle voice, as she slowly parted from his lips.
"Ayanami… Ayanami…" his voice repeated, and Rei slowly opened her eyes.
The afternoon sun framed his face so perfectly as it filtered through the soft clinic's drapery. His eyes were filled with so much concern. For her… only for her…
"Shinji… may your eyes never leave mine…" Rei whispered with a gentle smile, her fingers rising from her sides, catching the surprised Third Child's hair, pulling Shinji closer to her lips.
The kiss was so sweet. It held no need, no lust or passion. Just the purity of two souls, seeking each other in a world that they could no longer control. The brush of his lips seemed so… real… in that one moment in time…
Almost as if…
The moment was broken. Rei's eyes shot open wide as she slowly withdrew from the Third Child's kiss. His shuddering breath was labored, and his eyes confused, shining with unshed tears, as he met Ayanami's own, crimson gaze.
"Ikari…" Rei's lips silently spelled, knowing that this was no longer a dream, but harsh, frozen reality…
FIN (for now)
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Author's Note:
Dun DUN DUN!!! Holy cow, Batman! Dramatic Conflict! Wow… it took me, what, a year and change to update this fic? I hope that I didn't disappoint you guys too badly. Thanks to Rei's misunderstanding, what does this hold for the Children of Eva? Is Shinji's going to grow a spine and be a man about this, or is he gonna run away? Secondly, I hate that the new format totally took out the tabs and indentations. That was a really good form device, you know. Anyways, Your thoughts are always appreciated. Sorry again for the long update. As always
-FPotM