Disclaimer: I do not own PJO or HP or Twilight or Dick's Sporting Goods or Nike. But I do own the character Zorra, and you may use her as long as you mention me at some point and keep her personality the same as the slutty girl that she is.

Author's Note: Here's chapter 5! Finally, they're going to start the mission! Yay! I am heartily sorry for not updating for a while, I've been kind of busy. In this chapter there are a lot of Twilight references and it kind of helps to know your Twilight stuff, but to all that hate Twilight, don't worry, the whole thing is not about Twilight and you will still enjoy it. Okay, I hope you enjoy it, and if you don't then I don't really want to hear it. Muhahahaha!

As Harry, Ron, and Grover stared down in horror at Percy's limp body; they felt the wind whip around them. The storm was growing more severe by the moment and they knew they needed to get their quest leader inside. As fast as they could, they mounted their brooms and flew back to where the cabins lay.

Chiron stood in full centaur form outside of the Big House waiting for his favorite camper to come back. When Percy was laid at his feet, he felt Percy's chest and sighed, "The boy is not dead, but he is injured. He has hit his head; he may never be the same again." Annabeth and Hermione had crept out of the Athena cabin to see what was happening, and stood in their nightgowns with silent tears streaming down their cheeks. The others came out of their cabins as well.

It was dead silent.

Snape thundered out of the Big House in a flurry of magnificent black cloaks and knelt to inspect Percy. He pulled a small vial out of his dark cloak and unscrewed the cork with a pop. "This draught shall waken him from even the deepest of unconscious slumbers," he announced to no one in particular. He dripped a few drops of emerald green liquid in between Percy's snow white lips and then stood. "It shall take a few moments," Snape mumbled. Snape held up a pale hand dramatically in the rain and cried out, "RISE, JACKSON!"

Instead of Percy coming back to consciousness, a pale man with a very woman-like face appeared out of nowhere. "Michael Jackson?" Thalia cried in surprise (seeing as she would be the only one who would recognize him). There was no reply from dear Michael; all he did was scan the group of them with his beady little eyes. His black eyes immediately locked into Nico's black eyes.

"Little boy!" he screamed. "Little boy, come to my house! Come sleep in my bed!" Nico was terrified and hid behind Annabeth.

"Luke! Stab him with your sword! Don't let him get Nico!" Thalia cried.

"Actually, I think he's pretty cool," Luke said with a sinister smirk on his lips. Thalia rolled her eyes, and with some awesome moves, she grabbed Luke's sword, spun it around her head a couple times, and then plunged it with a sickening crunch into Michael Jackson's back.

As the pop star fell to the wet ground bellow him, he murmured his last words, "Tell Janet to put her freakin' shirt back on," And then Michael Jackson was no more.

It was silent as they looked down at the corpse. They were hesitant to touch it, but eventually Nico broke the silence by stating, "I'll take care of it," and then dragged the body into the woods.

Just then, Percy awoke and stared into the first face he saw. It was Snape's. Percy jumped to his feet and began to sniff Snape. Everyone stared in shock. Tears began to well up in Annabeth's eyes as she realized that Percy was not right in the head. "Percy?" she asked gently.

He whipped his head around to face Annabeth. "Who is this Percy of which you speak?"

Annabeth completely broke down into helpless sobs, "No! He has forgotten who he is!" Hermione gently patted her on the back. Grover hesitantly took a step forward,

"If you're not Percy, then who are you?"

Percy thought for a moment and then cried out, "Why, I am Edward Cullen! The sexiest vampire in the land!" Everyone's mouths dropped open as Percy began to prance around. Annabeth cried even harder. Ron leaned over to Annabeth and said,

"Don't worry Annabeth, maybe you'll get lucky and he'll think you're Bella," Annabeth groaned at Ron's sarcasm and then got a mischievous smirk and asked,

"How would you know about the Twilight characters anyways, Ron?" Ron immediately turned scarlet and began to mumble things about how his sister, Ginny, read Twilight (even though she didn't). Hermione and Annabeth snickered as they watched Ron try to deny his love of Twilight. Percy broke their laughter by crying out,

"I seek the beautiful maiden Bella; the love of my life!" His head whipped around until his green eyes rested upon the greasy (yet sexy) head of Severus Snape. "Ah, my lamb! We are finally reunited!" Percy sang. Snape's normally pale face went even paler.

Ron stared at Snape in horror. All the way from Twilight to Breaking Dawn, he had been madly in love with Bella, and here was his wretched potions teacher portraying the love of his life. Percy saw Ron staring at Snape and cried out in a falsely elegant voice, "Who is this, my dear Bella? He is staring at you in a peculiar way. Hmm...he has fuzzy legs, making him undoubtedly a werewolf. That must mean that this is Jacob Black, the boy you have been seeing while I was gone!" Percy then lunged onto Ron and began to maul him to pieces. Once Percy was pulled off of Ron, everyone headed back to their cabins for some restless sleep in anticipation of the upcoming race.

That night no one got much sleep. Harry woke up partway through the night to find Percy gnawing on his neck in search of blood to drink. Annabeth woke up to find Percy licking a cut on her arm. Ron woke up to find a dagger held to his throat as Percy was attempting to kill him. And worst of all, Snape woke up to see Percy perched at the edge of his cot. "Jackson! What are you doing here?"

"First of all, it's Cullen, and secondly, I was watching you sleep."

"Why?"

"Did you know that you said my name while you slept?"

"I never said that!"

"Well, actually you didn't, but I would be great if you did."

"Get out!"

The events of the night proceeded to go as such, and by morning they were all exhausted. All of those headed on the quest gathered outside of the Big House while they waited for Chiron to speak to them. "As you know," Chiron started, "one of your leaders has fallen sick in the head. Severus and I have chosen Grover to take the place of Percy as leader while on the quest until Percy is better. Since our strongest leader will not be leading, Severus shall accompany you,"

Several angry calls protruded from the group. Chiron held up a hand for silence. "You must gather your bags and change into traveling clothes. Clifford is said to be somewhere inside this forest behind camp, which you shall walk aimlessly around in until you find him. Now, I must warn you that...," Chiron's attention was temorarily drawn astray by Zorra and Draco who were passionately snogging at the back of the group, "Would you two mind not doing that while I speak?" It took Clarisse and Luke to pull them finally apart. Zorra mumbled a moody,

"Whatever," and then once Chiron wasn't looking, went back to snogging Draco.

"As I was saying," Chiron said, "there is a very good chance that none of you will come back alive, for this is an extremely dangerous task."

Everyone nodded solemnly (except for Nico who nodded happily because he was a twisted suicidal little kid) and they all hurried to gather their backpacks. For traveling clothes, most of them wore jeans and a ratty t-shirt. Zorra wore a low cut top and a very short black leather skirt (as she normally wore). Hermione was trying to ignore her cousin's wretched wardrobe choice. Luke wore a t-shirt that said Dick's Sporting Goods on it, for no particular reason. "Are we ready to leave yet?" asked Nico, jumping from one foot to the other acting like a hyper maniac (as mentioned in chapter 2, Nico is bipolar and he goes through dark phases and hyper phases).

"No, you ignorant child, we are waiting for young Mr. Cullen," replied Snape with a snarl, for he was beginning to despise Percy. Grover and Ron, the satyrs, soon ran off to find where the supposed sexy vampire had gotten to. They soon returned, dragging him to the group of them kicking and screaming.

"We found him in the strawberry field looking for a silver Volvo to drive in," Grover panted while trying to hold Percy down.

"Bella, my sweet love, save me from these foul werewolves," Percy cried to Snape as Grover and Ron tried to wrangle him to the ground.

After a lame leaving ceremony, the group of them headed off into the forest in search of a giant red dog. They walked in awkward silence, trying to find a way to make this quest a bit less sucky. "So..." Annabeth started, "so you guys are, like, wizards, right?"

"Yes," Ron replied, staring Annabeth directly in the face. She turned bright red and stared down at her feet.

"We're half-bloods," Nico said.

"Oh, I'm a half-blood too!" Harry said. He didn't know that they meant half god and half human, because he was talking about being half wizard and half human.

"Cool, who's your parent?" Nico asked.

"Lily Potter."

"No, I mean God Father."

"Sirius Black?" Harry asked confused, while Ron and Grover started doing The Godfather impressions with really bad gangsta accents.

"Well, I'm a pureblood," Draco bragged, stating his wizarding blood status, not understanding what the demigods meant by half blood.

Zorra's face lit up with the happiest expression anyone had ever seen (excluding the one Nico had made earlier when told that he may die). She began to make very shrill, demented squealing noises that she and some other obnoxious teenage girls make when they get really excited. "I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A GOD!" she squealed shrilly and flung herself into Draco's arms and began to kiss him passionately.

"Ooookay...." was the response of everyone else.

"You're just jealous that my boyfriend is a sex god," she said to Annabeth.

"You're just jealous that my boyfriend has furry shorts," Annabeth said in reply.

"You mean your wannabe boyfriend," Hermione corrected while Ron pretended that he hadn't heard anything.

Thalia could see that this conversation may result in a cat fight, so she quickly changed the subject, "So, Luke, I see that you have Dick's Sporting Goods on your shirt," Luke nodded proudly. Thalia continued, "I've been to Dick's before. It's one of my favorite stores."

Grover turned defensively to Thalia, "You can't go there because you're a girl."

Thalia bared her teeth. She was a professional at debating woman's rights, "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean that I can't like sports. There are tons of female athletes that are better than male athletes."

"Well," Grover butted in, "isn't it obvious that it is a guy store, I mean, any store with the word 'dick' in the title that sells tons of balls is obviously meant for guys."

"You're so immature," Thalia mumbled and stormed ahead while Grover and Luke exchanged high-fives.

"So, what's your favorite thing to get at Dick's?" Grover asked, laughing.

"Well, I have to say that I like getting the Nike t-shirts," Luke replied with a mischievous smirk.

"Why?" Grover asked, genuinely confused.

"Because they have my favorite slogan written on the back of the shirts: Just Do It!"

Grover burst out laughing while Nico, who had been listening to the entire conversation, stood there drowning in puzzlement. Poor little boy.

Meanwhile, Clarisse was storming up to Draco who had Zorra clinging for life to his waist.

"What is it dear?" Draco asked in his cool drawling voice.

"Who is she?" Clarisse inquired, pointing at Zorra who still hadn't removed her hands from Draco's waist.

"This is Zorra, obviously. She goes to camp with you." Draco said as innocently as a Slytherin can who is cheating on his girlfriend.

"I know who she is; I just want to know what she is doing with you! You have no right to..." and then Clarisse continued ranting and raging for a full five minutes without even a pause while the rest of them all stared at her in wonder.

"Clarisse," Annabeth said as gently as possible, laying a hand on Clarisse's shoulder, "I think it may be your time of the month. Now if you just,"

But Clarisse cut her off by starting ranting and raving in an indecipherable way that no one even attempted to understand. "Annabeth," Zorra started, "it can't be her time of the month because since we all spend so much time together, all of the girls at camp menstruate at the same time. Every time we do, the Aphrodite cabin and the Ares cabin girls have a tradition of having Power Period Parties, and our party was just a little bit ago, so she can't be starting again." As Annabeth tried to ignore how weird the idea of Power Period Parties was, the others were trying to figure out another reason for Clarisse's mood swing.

Clarisse broke their thinking by screaming out, "I WANT MEATLOAF!"

"So if it isn't menstruation..." Thalia thought.

"I NEED MEATLOAF!" She howled again.

"But she's having mood swings..." Zorra thought.

"I CRAVE MEATLOAF!"

"And she's having food cravings..." Hermione thought.

"WHY WON'T ANYONE GIVE ME SOME MEATLOAF?!?!"

"Then it must be..." Thalia, Zorra and Hermione all said at once as the same thought came to each of their heads. The three of them slowly turned to face the not so innocent Draco.

Author's Note: Duh, duh, dun! Okay, so if you didn't catch on to what is wrong, then you're rather slow, but that's okay because we'll catch you up in chapter 6!!! Wow, I'm already 5 chapters into it. I would just like to mention again not to look too deeply into this; you may question the fact of how Snape summoned Michael Jackson inside of camp and how Ron, a wizard, could know about Twilight a muggle book. Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and the rest before hand. Be sure to review giving constructive criticism and/or compliments specifically on what you liked; and I am also allowing ideas to be given too. So if there is a special thing you want to happen, or you want another fandom character(s) to come in, I will be happy to consider (although, I do already have a plot planned but I will be happy to make changed depending on what my readers want). Have a forgetful day!